Lust
By Tien Riu
tien_riu@yahoo.com
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Disclaimer:
Weiss Kreuz and all characters do not belong to me. Plot (what little there is of it ^_^) and depiction of characters are mine.
C&C, R&R and any other derivation there of including flames will be appreciated.
"Lust" is the first of three Weiss Kreuz stories that are determinedly yaoi (that means homosexual relationships for the initiated) and (unfortunately, since I was aiming for a PWP at the start and failed miserable) plot-driven. For those who are interested, "Do you believe in sin?" is a short background story to this series - however, you don't need to read it to understand anything that happens.
Extra Note: As promised, all of chapter fifteen ('Histrionic', 'Henchman' and 'In a Bedroll') is out. Right in time for my 21st birthday. [celebrates by starting the PWP scene of "Lust" ~grins~] Wish me luck - this will be the very first time I'll ever have a hand in a PWP scene. [0_0]
As always, thank you for the reviews - much appreciated!
Incredible amounts of praise, thanks and worship to Briar Rose who beta'd and helped chapter fifteen become what it is at the moment. From my hysterical 'Help! Help! I think I lost my ability to write "Lust"! Help!' message through to inordinates amount of flattery to enlarge my ego, she not only coached the chapter along but stopped me from bouncing off the walls (and all this over the internet - ^_^). Any mistakes are my own - everything else is her wonderful work. ^_^ (I feel like I should add something new here - because Briar Rose really deserves much more credit than a few lines of text - but I can't find anything more to say so - [bows]: Thank you Briar Rose!)
Answers to reviews at end of chapter. Enjoy!
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Histrionic Henchman in a Bedroll
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Youji
My watch mocks me as the last seconds vanish with the sweep of the hand. I am left standing in the storage cupboard cursing Aya in two languages and wishing I had worked a little harder at Mandarin so I can do so in a third.
No Aya. No additional orders emerging from my memories. No bloody idea what to do next. And a slow and growing realisation that killing Aya might be a good idea - but I would have to get him out of the building alive first.
Damn you Aya.
The least he could have done was give some indication of what he wanted me to do - cover his back, slip out without him or kill everything in sight. Well, hopefully not the last.
Why is it that even in high-stress moments, I can't be serious? It would be easier if I could have hysterics without quipping jokes.
The security guards are probably on the floor by now, methodically checking the rooms for any remaining would-be evacuees.
Not 'probably' - Definitely. Kritiker's analysts were thorough - and the security of Edo Incorporated is not the sort that sees security guards drinking coffee and playing mah jong while assassins walk past the window.
No really - true story. Siberian's first mission - he still goes bright red when we bring it up.
What are you going to do, Kudou?
Two security guards, checking one side of the corridor each. One room taking, on average, twenty seconds. If Aya is following the mission specifics (and given that this is Aya it's pretty much a guarantee) he will be in that woman's office. The guards will reach the closet in thirty-five seconds (with three seconds deviation on either side of the average) - the office in two.
My memory of the schematics throws up an air duct overhead (actually so do my eyes) - the reason why we chose this floor and this closet. I can leave now, or even hide up there. In that case, the guards will reach Aya in forty seconds. Does he need me to stall them? Should I run and rendezvous at the car - standard Weiss procedure on infiltration missions. I froze in my hesitation. I might not have been able to feel anybody but Aya - somewhere, smoothly doing his work with that ever-present underlying anger - but my other senses were working overtime with the increase in my heartbeat. I could hear the click of footsteps beyond the closet door. Shit.
There was time to hide; time to create a distraction. Shit.
There was a lack of time to think - certainly no time to panic. Where's the smart assed detective now? Asuka and I used to get in and out of problems like this all the time.
It was no wonder Aya hadn't trusted me to do anything other than stay in the closet.
Stop moping and start thinking you idiot -!
Okay. Panicking gets you killed. First - and last lesson Asuka taught me. There is no place for sentimentality or emotions when guns are involved. Okay.
My task (on the assumption that Aya hasn't already slipped out of the building and is currently plotting my demise for making him wait) is either to keep them occupied or kill them. Either way, I'm buying Aya time. At least - I think I am.
It was no wonder Aya doesn't trust me to do anything other than stay in the closet.
Stop moping and start thinking you idiot -! And in the back of my mind, the part that is planning a way to tie Aya up, hide his katana and possibly drug him, curses him all over again. He had to touch me didn't he. The one time I could have used being bombarded by unwanted emotions -! (Of course, if I had Aya tied up with no access to his katana. . .)
I can act - (look, I lead a double-life, my previous career was as a detective and I like having a varied sex life - you do the maths) but even an actor needs some sort of idea of the scene. So - hysterical lover? Or hapless moron who got lost on the way out?
Aya
The office was silent, bar the gentle hum of the computer. Aya waited patiently. Technology could not be hurried - it was human fallacy to believe otherwise.
Tension sang through him - a remembered ache from times past.
This - this - remember this - remember - remember -
It was similar - but not - to the silent watchful wait prior to the appearance of the first guard. The first stroke, the feel of metal gliding through flesh and bone - burned through his body as this through his mind. The difference between the final violation of death brought upon a body - or a computer system - was found in the stain it left on the flesh - and nothing more.
This - this - once -
He watched, detached, as his fingers entered the final commands - a gentle stroke across the keyboard.
This was once your future. The computer beeped quietly. Aya withdrew the disk and checked the replacement cable once more before sliding the original into the dust-ridden depths beneath a filing cabinet.
He would have preferred to remove all evidence - but being found with a computer cable would destroy their cover.
The office was sound proofed. That was obvious the moment he stepped out of the door. Aya filed the fact away.
" - Aya! He's missing!"
Youji Kudou - voice pitched for hysterics. Aya watched quietly for several seconds. He's good.
For the time he had been Weiss, he had become well acquainted with the image that was Youji Kudou. The man currently distracting the two security guards held no resemblance to the one he had known for the past six months.
It should not have surprised him how the former detective excelled at this particular aspect of their double lives. He lies well.
There is more to Youji than any can see. A voice whispered, He has secrets. It mattered not - all people had secrets. Weiss more so than most. He was a secret - protected by lies and misdirection with no-one knowing the truth. Not even he. He wants you - he wants Aya Fujimiya. He wants the assassin - the murderer with blood-stained hands. He wants - and wants it freely.
Something twined through his stomach, an insidious whisper of intent: Take the secrets away, strip them from him - and what remains. . . What remains will be yours - and yours alone.
But that thought was for later. Much later.
Mine and mine alone.
" - I couldn't find him anywhere - and then the door wouldn't open and now he's missing - and oh god what happens if he got killed and -" Youji continued, arms waving around.
The two security guards were attempting to calm him down even while they tried to keep a distance to avoid the flailing limbs.
"Sir - sir! I am sure your -" the security guard paused, "Friend?" he asked uncertainly.
"Lover!" Youji sobbed, "Aya - oh Aya what happens if -" his voice pitched and broke.
The guard winced, " - lover - is fine. He is probably with the rest of the evacuated workers. If you would just -"
"No - no - he wouldn't leave without me - and I can't without him -" Youji declared melodramatically, "Aya wouldn't -"
The second security guard was pulling out what looked like a tranquilliser.
Mine.
"Calm yourself." Aya said.
The security guards turned, surprised - and possibly shocked at his sudden appearance. Youji, face unseen by both men, glared at Aya, before forcing his expression into one of relief.
"Aya!"
And Aya suddenly found long arms were wound around his waist and a head resting on his shoulder.
"I am going to kick you from here to Cape York." Youji hissed; breath tickling Aya's ear.
"Sir?" the first security guard asked hesitantly, "You are Aya Fujimiya?"
Aya inclined his head.
"This building has been evacuated - where were you?"
"Toilet." Aya said shortly, "I -" he gritted his teeth, " - got lost - searching for Youji."
Youji released a decidedly theatrical sob, "I knew you wouldn't leave without me!" he wailed, "Oh I love you so much didums!"
The security guards were silent, then the second said, voice pained, "Kyoko - please take them down."
The first security guard - Kyoko - nodded, "If you would follow me, sirs."
Aya nodded shortly; by his side, Youji tucked his head against Aya's shoulder and made his breath hitch as if he were recovering from a crying jag.
He should have found it annoying - it was certainly Kudou at his absolute worse. Mine.
To give Youji credit, he waited till they were in the anonymous sedan Kritiker had provided as part of their cover before exploding.
"What the hell were you doing?!" Youji's snarl was emphasised by the bang as the door slammed shut with unneeded force.
Aya turned the key and listened as the engine turned smoothly over; the low vibration ran through the car. These were things that were controllable - a simple chain of cause and effect that needed no conscious thought to predict or activate.
The car moved into the flow of traffic as Aya spun the wheel with an easy motion of his hand. Inside, the silence was stifling, unbroken even by the growl of a city beyond the metal framed glass of the windows.
"Great - the silent-Aya-treatment. Like this is new." Youji muttered, shoving back into his seat with enough force to make the metal creak, "Damn you Aya - you could at least tell me what the hell you were doing back there! I deserve that much -" he cut off furiously, "I'm not your subordinate damnit - I'm your teammate. The distinction - in case you didn't get it - is that I'm your partner. We are supposed to work together! It's the bad guys who have henchmen!" he slammed his hand against the dashboard, "You should have told me what you intended to do!"
The instructions the Kritiker agent had given them had been precise but verbal. Youji had shown signs of a near photographic memory during previous missions. His ability to concentrate was impaired, even then. Aya switched three lanes to turn into the required road; behind them, cars hooted angrily and traffic jolted onwards. Weiss cannot protect Kudou if Balinese cannot perform.
"You should have known." He said finally
Youji turned to look at him, "Yes - my ability to read your mind has obviously improved. Everything you think is as clear as if it were written on your face." He said sarcastically; and then abruptly, the anger drained from his body, "Fine - whatever. You probably have some inscrutable reason for not telling me what you intended to do." He said through gritted teeth, "Go ahead and keep the secret - it's not as if me knowing anything really matters after all."
It was - unexpected. This was not how Youji Kudou acted; he was supposed to remain affronted. They would reach the apartment provided by Kritiker for their cover identities and Youji would stalk off to smoke and kick the wall. He was not supposed to suddenly - Give up.
Aya caught a glance of Youji out of the corner of his eyes; the little colour in the older man's cheeks had vanished, leaving him pale. Ahead, the lights changed to red and the sedan rolled to a halt. The buildings lining the road were apartments and town houses. Crowds of people trailed past, caught up in their separate distinct worlds. Several wove through the cars. Youji flinched once as a young woman strode past and paused to glance through the clear windows of the car at the two of them. She flashed a smile, bright and flirtatious.
Youji reached into the jacket's inner pocket and drew out his sunglasses. They hid the dark circles still etched beneath his green eyes. His slender fingers, Aya noted silently, were shaking as he crossed his arms and stared fixedly out the window. Exhausted.
The traffic lights changed from red to green, the cars began moving - the girl stole another glance before hurrying across the street.
Youji
My life sucks.
I feel as if I just finished a five-day drinking binge on the morning Omi scheduled me in for morning shift and I am dying for something to smoke - if only to keep myself from nervous pacing. I'm exhausted - but sleeping is about as possible as getting rid of some of this tension with gratuitous sex.
The flare of frustrated anger, lust, hate, love, fear, happiness - and every other possible emotion you could think of - woke me at four, an hour after I had finally managed to get used to sleeping while my central nervous system insisted ghosts were walking up and down my back. It is now noon and I am still hyper aware of every emotion being radiated in a one block radius. The apartment is on the fourth of thirty two floors - making it nine hundred and ninety eight people too many.
The floor is cold beneath my bare feet. The living room is cloaked in darkness but for shards of light streaming through cracks in the curtains. Dust motes fall, a drifting, never ending dance. The silence echoes in my ear - an uneasy counterpart to the constant sensation running through my body; I shudder. Somewhere, a baby wakes and starts to cry.
We are in the small apartment Kritiker assigned as part of our cover for the mission - or test. They even included packing boxes - still unpacked - to hold up our cover story (that we had moved to Kyoto to join the experimental group). I wonder what's going to happen the first time somebody realises that neither Aya nor I recognise a single item from the supposed two years of cohabitive bliss (hah! I should be so lucky) we have enjoyed together.
I pace; if I keep moving, I'll forget. Maybe. Or - get tired enough to not care. Where are you Aya? Unbidden, my eyes go to the closed door on the other (Kritiker, you sadistic bastards) side of the living room. It's still shut. I can feel him in there; not moving any closer. Out of your reach Kudou. Completely out of your reach.
Aya
Aya stared at the blank laptop screen. Sleep. The answer was sleep. Youji's behaviour was determined by sleep - whether this was due to his new 'ability' or simply the demands of physiology mattered not. He needs to sleep.
A truck rocketed down the street, its horn breaking the silence; Aya frowned. He could not take Youji to the chalet - there was no time. Kritiker would not wait.
Your choice now, A~ya - the voice whispered, You must make your choice now.
Leave him - tell Kritiker that Balinese cannot be as he was before. Not without - more.
Balinese - and Youji Kudou - would vanish and a new agent would complete Weiss. Abandon him - keep yourself safe and let Aya Fujimiya continue as before. Murderer, blood-stained and ice - nothing will touch you.
His fingers hovered over the black keys. Or take what he offers. If he is yours then he is yours to protect. Give him what he needs to - function as he must.
It was not a choice; Aya touched the pad on the laptop and began the mission log.
And he will be yours forever.
Youji
"What do you need to get through
this mission?"
I blink, and for several seconds almost believe that I have just experienced my first vocal hallucination.
"Youji." The low growl and a surge of strawberry impatience - sign one that Aya is loosing what little patience he has.
I look up - he's glaring at me again. Life is normal. For once however, there's an expectancy about his glare - so he wants me to answer. I lick dry lips and try to concentrate.
"What did you say?"
"Youji." He is still glaring at me - and my concentration is shot, because he has been speaking and I barely noticed.
"I - what do you mean?" I finally managed after rewinding the past few seconds through my head.
He steps forward, and I take a step back more in reflex than any actual fear. He continues forward, till I'm backed up against the wall. The wash of his emotions jerks the world back into focus - and I close my eyes, breathing in the scent of strawberries and warmth.
When I open my eyes the world is dominated by violet eyes. He's so close to me that his hair brackets my vision. Shards of red.
"I need to know if you can fulfil the mission criteria."
He had to choose now to decide to use proximity as an intimidation tactic didn't he? Forget that I would jump his bones if he didn't have that pesky sharp katana masquerading as a wall ornament over his bed. Not to mention that my pride doesn't like it when the person I'm sleeping with looks at me as if I'm something he stepped in and he doesn't know if he should try clean me off or throw his boots away.
"Of course." I snap, "And get the hell away from me!" but I don't push him away; the apartment is too large. I haven't been in the 'Aya' zone since we left the elevator fifteen hours, thirty minutes and forty-seven seconds ago. Who's counting?
He stares at me for several seconds; then steps back and walks away. He completes it with the usual speed and grace that marks everything he does - fast enough that the returning flood of emotions elicits a gasp of shocked reaction from me. I grit my teeth, and realise he's watching my reaction.
"I can handle it." I snarl, and discover that my arms are curled around my stomach.
Damn.
This wouldn't have happened if he hadn't reminded me what it's like not to have these - things - playing with me twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. If he hadn't, I'd have been fine - I had adapted right? But he dragged me away from it - and I got used to sleeping for more than several minutes at a time and -
Damn.
Suddenly I'm too tired to think and closer to tears than I'd ever admit. Youji Kudou does not cry. Or show signs of weakness unless it might get him laid. And we all know how interested Snippy the Ice Man is in anything to do with sex. Especially sex with me.
I lean against the wall, tilting my head down to stare at the floor and wish that the people next door would stop fighting - or go yell at each other at the other side of the city. Hell, just down the street would be fine.
"I can handle it." I say - and I know that the words are too soft, that there's too much weakness showing through but it's about the best that I can manage.
Somebody is having sex - several floors down probably. I'm too tired to even care, too tired to get aroused as little shivers of pleasure wrap up and down my spine. I want to be drunk.
Except Kritiker had forgotten to stock the mini bar with anything more alcoholic than ginger ale.
My life sucks - no, it swallows.
His hand on my shoulder; his fingers are cold but at the same time, they burn. The warmth spreads with the scent of strawberries, blanking out the other emotions, replacing it with a heat. It feels like - A blanket. A scalding blanket. My stomach cramps, but the rest of the world suddenly vanishes. Keep touching me. When he did, I could imagine that the world was somehow normal again.
I stare up at him, my eyes wide, "Why?"
Seems like the only question I ever ask him.
"You said that your mind -" he pauses, then continues, "'Likes' it when I touch you."
Perfectly good double entendre going to waste here. A small hysterical voice giggles quietly in the back of my mind. I hush it - in a world filled with people feeling all over my body, he was the only one who could stop it. It didn't matter if Aya wasn't interested in sex, I'd settle for him just touching me once in a while. You're pathethic Kudou.
"Yes." I finally manage, "It - likes it. It blanks out the other emotions - with yours." Maybe it was my imagination, but he seemed to flinch slightly when I said that, I file it away for future consideration - if it stops him from touching me, I'll learn not to say it.
"Will it be enough for you to fulfil mission objectives?"
I nod silently. And it doesn't matter that he's only touching me because failing this mission will be a problem for Weiss. Not at all. Liar.
"How long do the - effects - last for?"
"I don't know." It wasn't as if I had ever been able to do scientific tests. "Three - maybe four hours."
He hasn't stopped touching me yet. And we're close enough that I hope my hormones don't choose this moment to start working overtime again.
"And if you're close to me?"
My mind goes blank and all I can do is stare at him - again. I finally manage to choke out some semblance of the logical reply: 'almost as good as being touched'.
He nods, "Move your bedroll into my room." And turns - letting go of my shoulder - walking away as calmly as if he hasn't just twisted my world around.
Or told me that I'd be sleeping in the same room as him. He's not interested in sex with you remember?
My life sucks. And don't you wish you even had a chance to swallow?
I'm going to move my bedroll and try and get some sleep until my sense of humour goes back to normal and ceases this warped behaviour.
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Fancy - I misspelled Aya's last name? 0_0 (Fujimiya right? That *is* how you spell his last name... Right? [runs off to check])
Kyou - you all wait for me to update? I have actual followers? 0_0 [enlarged ego grows yet again ^_^]
Tmelange - I did promise that "Lust" would be finished. Not to mention the two other stories remaining in the trilogy that "Do You Believe in Sin?" was a prelude to. ^_^
My HP story is just easier to write at a faster pace. "Lust" has a completely different style, and is definately more mature with increasingly involved themes. Besides of which, for every four scenes I write for "Lust" I seem to delete three and a half (on average). My file of deleted scenes is almost as large as "Lust" itself.
By the way - ~heh~ cookies to anybody who remembers where Youji pulled the 'didums' from. ^_^
In any case, see you all for chapter sixteen - when we finally get some PWP! Okay, so there'll be a *reason* for the (at last!) sex - but let's not let that get in the way of enjoying some good ol' Youji and Aya smut. ^_^
Sincerely,
TR