Tomodachi

Chapter 7

by

Nana

Beyond Reason

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Author's Notes: Sigh. Here comes Nana with another one of her flights of fancy. And all this right before two big exams on Dec 12 and 13! Huhuhu…

Anyway, I will have to ask for your patience in this chapter. It might be a bit OOC for some readers, as MiroSan would surely never be presented with a situation such as this (and even if they were, I'm sure they would react differently--Takahashi-style, in fact). Still, we can hope, can't we?^^

Disclaimer: You guys know all this!

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Sango was late.

By the time she got to the coffee shop where they were supposed to meet, Kagome was already there waiting.

"Kagome-chan!" She called, smiling.

"Hey," Kagome returned listlessly as Sango approached.

"Gomen. I couldn't get away from lunch soon enough. Have you been waiting long?" Sango asked as she sat opposite Kagome.

At the woeful look on Kagome's face, Sango stopped. "What?" she wanted to know.

"Nothing," said Kagome as she looked down at her cup.

"That is not nothing. Really, what is it?"

"Sango-chan, who did you go to lunch with?" Kagome asked softly.

Sango stared.

"Oh. O-kayy…" she said slowly. "I think I'm getting it now. Well, as a matter of fact, Takeda-kun asked me out for lunch. How about that?"

They sat there in silence for a while, the spirit of anticipation to an afternoon of carefree shopping slowly deflating.

"What is so wrong with that?" Sango finally said, irritated.

"Sango-chan…you're mad at me, aren't you?"

"Mad? Me? I'm not mad," Sango said, her tone betraying otherwise. After a moment, she slumped back on her seat.

"Okay. Well, maybe a little ticked off," she admitted softly. "Honestly, how long are you going to press for something that's not going to happen?"

"But you and Miroku are so--"

"See? There lies the problem," pointed out Sango. "There is no 'us', Kagome-chan. There never was, there never will be. Just--"

Sango suddenly stopped when she noted Kagome turning her face away.

N-nani--? Surely…surely, Kagome couldn't be crying over this now…could she?

There was an awkward moment of silence as Sango stared at her folded hands on the table.

I am not going to feel guilty. I'm not! She thought.

"You know what?" she said suddenly, searching frantically for anything to say. "I never told you this before. As early as first year, I was sure we were going to be good friends."

Kagome turned back to her. "How did you know?"

Sango looked at her, smiling. "Do you remember Miroku going after you for a while?"

Kagome sighed. "Yeah, well--" she said uneasily.

"He was holding your hand in the classroom, asking you to go out with him, and do you remember what you told him?"

Kagome stared at Sango.

"You said, 'what are you doing, asking me out? You should be going out with Sango'," Sango finished. "That was how I was sure we were going to be great friends. Until you came along, I couldn't make friends with any girl because that part had to get in the way…"

Kagome looked at her hopefully.

"But--" Sango said as she moved in with her point, "that's not going to happen. And right now, I feel as though I can finally get away from that crazy loop. Please give Takeda-kun a chance, okay? He's really very nice, and--"

Kagome suddenly looked crestfallen. "Are you giving him a chance then?"

Sango paused. "Well…" She said uncertainly.

"He asked you to go steady with him, didn't he?"

"How did y--" Sango stopped as something hit her.

"Miroku…" she said at last.

Kagome nodded, not quite looking at her friend. "I bumped into him when he got out of the restaurant."

Sango continued to stare. "He…was in there…?" She sounded faint.

"He heard everything," Kagome said.

For a moment, Sango could not say anything.

Finally, she sighed and looked away uncomfortably. "Well, whoever told him to follow, that idiot," she muttered. "Besides, everything I've said was quite true, anyway."

"What did you say about him, Sango-chan?"

Sango shook her head. "Nothing that he doesn't already know," she said curtly.

"He went away because he says he's made you unhappy," Kagome continued. "I mean, how could he, if you maintain there's nothing going on between the two of you?"

"You don't have to have a relationship with somebody to make her unhappy," replied Sango flatly.

Like now, for instance…she thought glumly. Right now, she couldn't quite figure out why the realization that Miroku had heard everything she had said about him was making her unhappy.

"Do you know what he did this morning, Kagome-chan?" Sango continued. "I'll tell you what he did. He popped up at my place and refused to go away. And when Takeda-kun came around, he had to make a grand exit by going right through us at the doorway. Why do you suppose he did that?"

"Why indeed?" Kagome returned. "What do you think, Sango?"

"Well, isn't it obvious?" asked Sango. "He's setting out to embarrass the life out of me because he just can't believe somebody's finally asking me out. Maybe he just came to laugh. I don't kno--"

"Maybe he's jealous," said Kagome. "Haven't you thought of that?"

"Oh no!" exclaimed Sango. "Not you too!"

"What other reason is there? I mean, have you ever wondered why he followed you all the way to that restaurant?"

"He can't be jealous. There's no way he could be," said Sango. "Not in that sense, anyway!"

"Have you ever given him a chance to say so?"

"He doesn't have to say it! Six years of being friends with him is enough to tell you things!" Sango said. "He's never seen me as anything, so why should he start now?"

"You never gave him a chance to tell you, then."

"Tell me what?" asked Sango bitterly. "That he's not interested in me? I don't need to hear him say it. I know it already!"

Sango stopped, aware that she was sounding weird. That wasn't what she had intended to say at all! At the rate she was going, it was almost as though she were agreeing with Kagome that something was indeed going on between her and Miroku.

"I see," Kagome said sadly.

"See what?" Sango asked in a tired voice.

"You never knew how much he likes you, because you've never admitted to yourself how much you like him, don't you?"

"What?!" asked Sango, exasperated.

"Talk to him, Sango-chan. At least ask him why he followed you around today," urged Kagome. "That was so totally unlike him. Don't you think it merits some inquiry?"

"And if I do that," said Sango, moving quickly to end the matter before she gave too much of herself away, "will you let the matter drop so we can go ahead with our shopping?"

"Okay," said Kagome and smiled for the first time that afternoon.

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            Of course, she had fully intended to ignore Kagome's request. It was completely out of the question. There was no way she was going to ask that creep anything, especially when he owed her an apology for embarrassing her like that.

            So why was this happening?

Why was it that Sunday morning came and found her in the park, making her way over to the basketball courts--again?

            I don't understand…! Sango wailed at herself. Why am I doing this?? Have I finally turned into a masochist or something?!

            Even as she mentally berated herself, there was no stopping the force that was hauling her over to make a possible mistake. A possible huge mistake. It was beyond all reason, and there was nothing she could do about it.

            True, she was disgusted at herself beyond measure. True, she was ashamed to admit it, but the fact remained that the small exchange she had had with Kagome the day before had moved something within her.

            What do I want this badly? She groaned inwardly.

            I just want to make sure…

            Kami! Make sure of what? Her mind screamed at her impatiently. Didn't you tell Kagome you were sure? What was all that talk about those six years knocking some sense into you?!

            After all these years, after she had successfully schooled herself to indifference, could it be that a little hope had flared inside her?

            Hope for what? Something in her mind sneered. Honestly, are you really hoping that sukebe would finally see you the way you want him to? But how do you want him to see you, anyway?

            She had used to laugh at girls who did this. It was quite unpleasant to realize that she, too, would be capable of stooping this low. Perhaps what was most mortifying was the fact that this need was overriding even the most basic reflex of all--the reflex at self-protection.

            But now time was running out.

She could already hear a ball dribbling. In another second, she would see him. Soon she would be right in front of him, and there would be no more time to back away from a decision that had all the elements of an impending disaster.

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            She saw him turn and freeze for a moment when he finally caught sight of her.

            It was then that she realized what she had wanted to believe in Kagome's words. Despite her knowing better, she had wanted to believe Kagome when she said there may be something in this guy that she had refused to acknowledge to herself.

            While she was not exactly proud of what she was about to do, while she was frightened at what it might trigger, she wanted--needed--to know what he thought of her.

            She might get disappointed, but perhaps that might just snap her out of her six-year trance and make her get on with her life.

            She wanted to make sure.

            The momentary trace of surprise on his face smoothly gave way an expression of blank politeness as she approached.

            "Fancy seeing you here," he said.

            "Why did you do what you did yesterday?" Sango asked him without preamble.

            "What did I do?"

            Sango frowned, feeling a familiar wave of fury sweep in. "You know what you did yesterday," she snapped. "That sudden visit to my house, your following us to the restaurant--don't you dare deny it!--I mean, why are you doing this?"

            Why are you acting as though you care?

            Miroku said nothing. He merely stood there, his expression unreadable as he looked down at her.

            "You think this is so funny, don't you? The tomboy finally gets a bit of attention from a guy. Wow! That's so unbelievable, isn't it? Well, jeez! Just because it took you six years to get it doesn't mean nobody else had!"

            Sango turned away. Well, six years did pass by, but it certainly didn't mean he had gotten it…

            In the meantime, though, Miroku had made up his mind not answer her at all. Unnerved, Sango found that the only thing she could do was to continue.

A mistake.

"You're being unfair. I mean, I never said anything when you went out with your girls. I never once said a word to anything that you did! Why can't you extend me the same courtesy now?" Sango demanded.

            Miroku looked away.

            When he finally did reply, his answer took her completely by surprise. "All those times, with those other girls, couldn't you have said something? Anything at all?" He asked.

            "What?!"

            Miroku smiled a little, his eyes pained when he turned his head back. "You don't get it, do you?" he said softly. "What would it take for me to make you see?"

            Kami. What is he doing? Sango thought, her eyes widening as she took an involuntary step back. She was not permitted to take another.

One small step was all it took on his part, and he was suddenly towering over her, as close to her as he had ever been.

            Stop me now, Sango…run away before I lose control completely…Even though his eyes said so, he could not stop his advance.

            It was going to be a mistake--a huge one; he might end up hurting her even more, but he could not stop himself. He did not know how to make her understand, but it was suddenly important that he make her comprehend. It was now or never.

            But how would he make her understand? This was beyond words, beyond reason. The problem now was, would he--could he bring himself to show her?

            Could he or couldn't he?

            Either way, he would end up losing her, so it would not make a difference now, would it? At least now…now she would know. No beating around the bush, no more delay, no more excuses to take refuge in. Too many episodes of misunderstanding had risen over a matter that was quite simple in essence, really.

            He did not give himself any more time to think.

            He reached out and brought a hand behind her nape. When she did not move away, he lowered his head and finally took her lips with his.

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Elven Child: I'm glad you like Tomodachi and the way its theme centers on the differences between a boy's and a girl's points-of-view pertaining to love. They can really wreak such misunderstanding in a relationship. Love is never really easy (cliché, cliché), but then, it gives us the perfect excuse to go crazy every once in a while.^^ We'll just have to make sure we pick somebody who's going to be worth all the trouble (as well as all the sweetness), ne?

Kaerra: Heeheehee…I made Takeda Kuranosuke pretty devious, didn't I? I have a feeling his character might be, given that he's the type who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to say so. Too bad Miroku never gave him an opportunity to show it in the anime. That would be pretty interesting, wouldn't it? ^_______^

Neko-chan: Yes, I have to agree I am being mean to our poor Houshi-sama, but it's soooooo right! Heeheehee! At least Sango gets to pay him back a little here.^^

Thanks for all your reviews, mina-chan, and I am hoping to hear more from you all soon.