Tomodachi

Chapter 8

by

Nana

Half and Half

********************************

Author's Notes: Hee! This fic is nearing its end! Here's the second to the last chapter! Thanks very much, minna-san, for all your support and encouragement. I hope to hear from you all in the review section!^^

Disclaimer: Yes, I don't own anybody here! Certain lines toward the end are taken from the song, "Touch Me When We're Dancing" by the Carpenters.

Spoilers: Big chunks of anime episode 78 and manga chapter 292 present in the fic! Manga chapter 292 has been very influential in flipping the whole MiroSan romance angle around--I can only hope that I have written it in well here.

I realize I've made Takeda Kuranosuke a bit evil in the previous chapter. Here's to him having…another possible side to his character.^^

*******************************

            Stop me now, Sango…please…

            Even as a part of him whispered it, there was no stopping this kiss. There was no stopping this error.

            Dimly, he heard her sharp intake of breath before he pressed his lips to hers, and then there was nothing but the realization of a craving so potent, so sweet--a hunger that could not be denied.

            This was Sango, then. This was how she felt like. He would never again have to wonder about how it would be to taste her lips, feel the texture of her skin, her hair. He would never again have to wonder about how it would feel to have her so close to him. So close he could not tell his heartbeat from hers.

            Even if he could think clearly, he would have realized he was powerless to draw back. But then, he was not thinking clearly. He did not want to. A dizzying, intoxicating spell was upon him, clouding his senses and making everything else fade away.

            Right now, the only important thing that mattered was the girl before him. Perhaps this had always been, always will be the case.

            Who was he kidding? He had wanted her for a long time. Too long, it seemed.

            They had been sidestepping around each other for as long as he could remember, and for what?

            In one step, in one breath, he had torn down the invisible divide that had held them apart for six years. In one motion, he had brought to light this one thing that had always been there between them.

            Why had it taken them this long? How had they been able to stall the inevitable for six long years?

            The thing that he did--it had not been difficult at all. He had somehow thought it would be, but it wasn't. It was only a matter of taking her into his arms and…

            Because this is wrong…

            He groaned inwardly, trying to drown that sudden, treacherous voice in his head. How can something that feels so right be wrong? He wanted to shout at it.

            It was too late.

            Reason was already coming back with a rush, turning desire into ashes in its wake. The mad rush in his veins subsided as suddenly as it had begun, leaving a numb, heavy feeling inside: a certainty that this time, he had done something irreparable.

            This is wrong because she's your friend…the thought finished itself even as Miroku suddenly pulled back from the kiss.

            She was a friend.

            Not a girlfriend then. And not just any girl. Not somebody whom he could fool around with and discard at his whim. Not somebody whom one could decide not to see anymore just because one got bored.

Sango was actually somebody whose company he knew he would never get tired of. She was somebody he could trust and confide in--somebody to laugh with. She was too precious to lose to fleeting passion. What would an eighteen-year old guy know about it anyway? Afterwards, when the flame had died down, what would happen? Would she go the same way the other girls had gone?

She does not deserve to go through any of this…

            Sango gasped as the kiss abruptly ended. She stood there, dazed and swaying. She could have fallen if it had not been for his arm, still wrapped around her waist.

            She gazed at the pair of violet eyes mere inches away from hers, her mind a total blank. Briefly, she wondered why he was looking so pained.

            "Sango," he said, his voice hoarse. "I--I'm sorry…"

            It was the apology that struck her like a slap on the face. Abruptly, her mind cleared as outrage sank in.

            "You're sorry?" she hissed. "What do you mean you're sorry?"

            What did she mean by that? She wasn't sure either.

He had every right to be sorry, hadn't he? Sorry for confusing her into coming here with a question, sorry for insulting her--treating her as though she were nothing more than one of those stupid girls who hung onto his every move; sorry for making her see he was incapable of keeping his hands off any girl, even someone whom he had been friends with for six years; sorry he had to reinforce Takeda-kun's argument and prove himself to be a complete asshole.

Any one of these would have been sufficient as a reason for her anger, but perhaps the crowning outrage was the fact that he would dare say he was sorry for kissing her.

"Sango, I didn't mean it," he continued.

"Of course you didn't!" she shouted. "How could you possibly ever mean it?!"

"Just calm down--"

That was the last straw.

The cracking sound of her hand suddenly connecting to the side of his face was loud in the morning silence.

"Don't you dare tell me that," she said, speaking after a moment's silence.

She let her stinging hand fall. "I came here today thinking I could ask you something, but it seems I've got the answer already."

"Sango…"

She shook her head, her gaze steady as she took him in. "Imagine--I finally got my answer from you after six long years," she said. She tried to smile. "It's quite a relief, actually."

            So this is it then…

"See you around, Miroku." With that, she turned away.

He did not try to stop her.

It's so odd…she thought as she held up the hand she had used to slap him with.

How odd it was, that her palm could be as red as the handprint on his face. How odd it was, to feel the same pain one inflicts on another. As friends, they could not escape it--this strange empathy that they share. Give and take--the distinction had always been blurred at best.

She wondered briefly if it would die down as soon as the ties that bound them were cut.

*****************************

It's all over…

Kagome could not even think to cry as Miroku's words sank in little by little. That afternoon found them seated in a corner of a café as Miroku gave her a colorless account of what happened.

"Why did you do it?" Kagome asked finally.

"Do what?"

"Apologize for the kiss, of course!"
            "What do you mean I--?" He gritted, totally confused. "Are you telling me that;s not the right thing to do?"

Well, hell…what do girls want, anyway?! You think they'll be happy if you apologize for a stolen kiss…!

"The problem with you is you're too vague!" cried Kagome. "That's why Sango is forever wavering. Even after you've kissed her, you never gave her any chance because you never made it clear to her that you want her! After everything that's happened, what can you possibly still want to hide?"

            Miroku shook his head as he cast around for something to say.

"It's not that easy," he found himself telling her. "Liking someone is easy enough, but to make her want to like you the way you would want her to--that's not as easy as you claim it is! She's her own person. She can like whoever she wants, and if that's going to make her happy, then I don't have any right to take that away from her."

"What makes you think you're never going to make her happy?"

Miroku opened his mouth and closed it again. "You don't understand," he said finally in a resigned voice. "It's just not that simple."

"Try me, Terada Miroku," said Kagome in a set tone.

He shook his head. "She's…too important for me," he said softly. "Too important, anyway, to risk losing her in nonsensical games of the heart. She deserves better than that."

"Nonsensical?" echoed Kagome. "Is that all you can say about your past relationships with those other girls?"

Miroku shrugged. "Look how each and every one of them turned out," he said. "In the end, how many girlfriends can you honestly say remained friends with me?"

"Well, that was because you were being so sukebe!" accused Kagome. "You just can't stick to one! Why can't you just stick to one?!"

"I don't know!" he said, effectively silencing Kagome.

He raked a hand through his hair as he sighed. "This was the reason why I thought things were better off between Sango and myself," He asked, a small sad smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "If we were to remain the way we were, we'd last forever. We'd always be friends."

"You've lost her," Kagome said flatly. "While you were thinking of the whole thing that way, you've already lost her."

Miroku looked at her blankly.

"Have you ever thought that perhaps…perhaps you guys weren't meant to be just friends?" Kagome asked. "That you were supposed to be something else?"

"Like what?"

"Like half and half--two parts of a whole?"

There was a pause before Kagome continued softly, "and if you were really care about her--if you're really concerned about treating her fairly, don't you think she deserves to hear the whole truth from you and let her decide from there?"

***********************************

            Of course, he did nothing about it. Absolutely nothing.

            At long last the countdown ended and Prom night swept in with all its expected pageantry and excitement. And all this time, Miroku never bothered to set right what had gone wrong between him and Sango.

            In fact, by nine in the evening, the prom was already in full swing and he had not even arrived.

            "I'm going to kill him," muttered Inu Yasha as he swept a listless Kagome off the dance floor. "The moment I see him, I'm going to kill him…"

            "Just drop it," said Kagome wearily as she followed him over to the refreshment table for drinks. "Maybe he's not coming. At any rate, Sango doesn't even seem to be aware that he's not here."

            "That's right," pointed out Inu Yasha as he sulkily watched Takeda Kuranosuke dance by with Sango--Sango transformed so that it was almost impossible for them to recognize her. "So why should you care so much?"

            Kagome stared at him for a moment before smiling down at the drink he gave her. "You're right," she said sadly. "Who am I kidding, right? Only, I thought that…well, not all dreams have to end the wrong way tonight. Inu Yasha…"

            "What?"

            "I'm sorry…"

            "What is this?!"

            "I'm sorry I'm spoiling your evening," said Kagome as she put down her glass. "C'mon, let's dance."

            Inu Yasha blinked.  "Right! That's more like it!" he said as he quickly took her hand and led her back to the dance floor.

*******************************

            No, she was not thinking about it.

            Nope. Not at all.

            Why should she? The other girls might be talking about it in disappointed tones, but she, Hinomori Sango, could not be bothered to give it a thought.

            After all, who cared if he wasn't coming?

            She had merely come out for air was all. It had nothing to do with him, nothing to do with the fact that she was finding the packed school auditorium claustrophobic with speculations about why he wasn't showing up.

            She had merely wanted to come out for fresh air, never realizing that she would end up being the first (and one of the last) to see him that evening.

            At first, she had not seen him when she allowed the auditorium doors to close behind her. When she finally did, it was too late to do anything about it.

            He was sitting on the balcony, pensively looking out at the botanical gardens below. Dressed impeccably in a black suit, he seemed strangely suited to the quiet atmosphere of the moonlit, deserted balcony. Behind her, she could hear the music starting again, and she briefly considered running back into the safety of the crowd inside the packed auditorium.

            But before she could do anything--before she could even move--he had turned his head and seen her.

            For a brief minute, they stared at each other, and then she saw him break into a smile.

            "Sango."

            He stood up and slowly walked over to her. Sango steeled herself.

            "You look stunning in that dress," he said simply.

            Sango blinked, feeling a blush slowly coming on. She cast around for something to say, and finally settled for, "It's about time you showed up. What are you doing out here? Where's your date?"

            "I don't have one."

            She gawked at him. "What??"

            "It looks like the party is in full swing," he observed, staring into the glass door of the auditorium.

            "So what are you doing out here? You should be in there," she said, her tone taking on an argumentative ring. She tried for humor. "Your harem's waiting for you."

            She stopped suddenly, aware that it didn't sound right. Did her tone of voice have anything to do with it?

            He did not seem to have noticed. He continued to stand there, looking down at her with a strange expression on his face. Looking at him, Sango could swear his expression looked…almost tender.

            "And what are you doing out here when he's in there?" He asked softly.

            She looked away. "I merely came out here to get some air," she said. "C'mon. Let's not run in circles anymore. Why don't you go in?"

            "I merely came to talk to you," he said.

            "Can't it wait till next time?" she asked wearily. "I don't want to fight anymore. And we've said enough the last time, so…"

            "Our conversation's not yet finished," he said.

            Sango stared at him, her eyes wide.

            He paused, and when he continued, his voice was even lower than before. "I cannot undo the damage of our last meeting. But that time, you asked me something, and I lied. I figured you deserve at least to know the truth, no matter how weird it sounded."

            Sango said nothing.

            "I've thought it over, and it seems unfair that I've been misleading you till the last minute. I couldn't bring myself to tell you, because I thought it might just freak you out…make you run away." He laughed ruefully. "But I can see that despite my not telling you, things have boiled down to just about the same thing. Besides, it doesn't matter now. You've got Takeda. You're free to believe what you want, but these are my feelings…and I would like you to listen to the end. Just this once."

            And so he told her.

            "Even as I've come to realize how things have changed between us, I never could treat you the way I've treated the others because, well…you're not like them at all. I cannot bear the thought of losing you the way I did the other girls. You're too special for any of that. I wanted to wake up everyday thinking I would be able to see you, talk to you, and not feel that you would disappear from me one day, and--"

            He stopped abruptly as he took in her shocked features. "I never wanted to hurt you," he said truthfully. "More than anything, I'm glad to see you're happy. I just want to let you know I won't get in the way."

            Just then, the muffled fragments of the next song number floated by.

            Play us a song we can slow dance on

            We wanna hug each other…

Firmly, he stoppered the emotions threatening to spill out from inside him, and said, "all these years I never got the chance to ask you, what say you to this one? Just one time…"

And before she could agree or refuse, he stepped up to her and, with his one hand landing lightly on her waist and the other taking her unresisting, gloved hand in his, they glided slowly on the moonlit balcony.

Play us a groove so we'll hardly move

            Just let our hearts beat together…

            Sango moved automatically as they swayed slowly to the music. She could feel the warmth of his arms around her as he held her close. She couldn't bring herself to look up--she was sure he was looking down at her, his gaze not wavering.

I'm glad to see you're happy…

            Was she really? She wanted to ask him how he was able to arrive at that conclusion but for once, her voice failed her.

            He gave her a last turn and the music faded. Dimly, they could hear applause coming from inside.

            "I have to go now," he said, and slowly, almost hesitantly he bent down and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

            "Be happy…" she heard him whisper as he pulled away.

            The door opened just then, and Takeda was just in time to see Terada Miroku drop his hand from Sango's arm unhurriedly. Without another word, Miroku turned away and headed down the steps.

            Sango watched him go, hearing the last echoes of his footfalls until they faded into nothing. Silently, she turned to Takeda and followed him back inside.

******************************

            Takeda Kuranosuke was patient, mature. This situation demanded everything he had to give, and he was determined to deliver as well as he could.

            He was not aware what had transpired since Sango had stepped out into the balcony. A girl had asked him to dance the number out, and it was only after the song ended that he ventured out to look for her.

            At best, Sango had been distracted and uneasy the whole evening. After Terada went away, Sango had lost whatever sparkle had remained with her. Takeda was fully aware of the possible cause, and after that scene from the balcony, he did not have to pause to put one and one together to arrive at a conclusion.

            After dancing one more number, he told Sango, "Whew. Kind of hot in here. Would you like to take a walk for a while?"

            Sango nodded dully.

            The botanical gardens were just below the auditorium, and after a while, Sango sat down on one of the stone benches listlessly.

            The trickle of idle chatter stopped, and Takeda sat down beside her.

            "Not feeling very well?" he asked.

            Sango shook her head. "I'm fine," she said.

            Takeda smiled at the ambiguity of her answer, which was totally out of line with her actions.

            "Something on your mind?"
            Sango looked away. "Hardly," she said.

            "Somebody I know?"

            She shook her head, allowing a bitter smile to cross her lips. "I don't think so…"

            "Somebody you know then," he pressed gently. "Somebody you really know."

            Sango looked at him, her expression unreadable. He did not see any surprise--just a blank, flat void. Takeda closed his eyes, not sure if what he was about to do was for the best.

After all, Terada Miroku was not exactly somebody he liked. And he wanted Sango for himself. He didn't have to do this! Right now, while she was feeling vulnerable, he had to protect Sango from herself…

            But one look at Sango was all it took for him to understand that she would never shine for him. She was already shining for somebody else.

            And best (or worst) of all, he knew she would have no problem handling the guy. The guy might be capable of hurting her, but she was fully capable of looking after herself . She was no damsel in distress. Never was. Never will be.

            He shrugged. "I've seen the way you guys look at each other," he merely said.

            "No," she said, shaking her head firmly. "No, it's not that. It can never be that. I mean, why would I want to stick it out with a guy like him? I mean, I know all about him: he's sukebe, completely insensitive, and--"

            "And despite everything you've said about him, he still remained a friend," finished Takeda. "That's it, isn't it, Sango?"

            Sango sat there, frozen.

            "I really can't say I'm not jealous," he said. "Hell, yeah…I am. But what the hell."

            "What are you trying to say?" Sango finally managed.

            "It's all up to you…"

            "But what about you? I'm here with you!"

            "I can't settle for being just.…" He shrugged. "You know."

            "Takeda-kun…"

            At the mention of his name, he smiled as he closed his eyes, feeling he had the last bit of evidence he needed. "Just go," he said softly.

            Sango stood up and paused. "Arigatou," she told him before she began to run.

            "And I hope you will be happy, Sango…"

            He meant it.

*******************************