A/N: Sorry, I haven't posted in SUCH a long time. I only do new talk shows
once I get 6 questions cuz I am don't think such good ideas. Thanks Hika
for the idea! And thanks to my SPECIAL friends for their contributions!!!
Oh yea, I do not own anything.
Hika: Welcome to our long lost edition of The Pen Show! Our stupid editor lost it when she was backpacking through the Arctic Circle as the round- headed perverted toucan ate it and I don't care if toucans don't live in the Arctic Circle!
Akia: Anyway, our guest star this time is Professor Snape! This is the very first time that a Professor has premiered onto The Pen Show. Bring him in!
Professor Snape: Do you know many cows are made each day?
Hika: He had a very odd reaction to the potion sadly.
Akia: By the way, we have series of questions relating to your *cough* relationships *cough*. So, our first question from StarWarrior: Do you love Professor McGonagall so much that you would die for her?
Prof. Snape: *flutters eyes rapidly* My dear heart, my desire, my only, my precious *growls* I'll kill that Hagrid if he keeps his hands away from my dear heart, my desire, my only, my precious *growls* And Minerva, here's a kiss from me *blows a kiss at random figure*
Akia: Is it true that Peeves dumped a love potion in the cookie batter and you ate the cookies and fell in love with Ms. Norris? Question from Riona.
Prof. Snape: Ms. Norris? I loved her so badly, we had kittens together, oh those were the good 'ol days when humans were allowed to mate with other animals. *sniff*
Hika: What, er, HAPPENED to the kittens?
Prof. Snape: Oh, they stayed with their mothers.
Akia: There's more than one mother involved?!
Prof. Snape: We were still talking about Ms. Norris?
Hika: Who else was involved?
Prof. Snape: There's the black midnight cat, the scarlet one, the tawny one, hushbaby, Mr. Norris, and the gingered one.
Akia: Hermione's cat?!
Prof. Snape: Yea, that's the cat! That was my favorite!
Hika: Yikes! Anyway, going back to the question. This question is from Skye Gemini: is it true that you love Draco Malfoy?
Prof. Snape: Ah, have YOU ever wondered why he always passed my class? My sweetheart, too bad he didn't love me back! He'll get it, I'm sure. when he least expects it.
BOO!
Haha, did I scare ya? Did I? Did I did I did I did I did I? *jumps up and down*
*from the audience*
Prof. McGongall: YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU LOVED ANYBODY ELSE! SURE I KNEW ABOUT THE CATS, BUT WHAT EVERY HAPPENED TO TELLING SECRETES YOU LITTLE RAT! YOU'RE FIRED!
Prof. Snape: No YOU'RE FIRED!
Prof. McGongall: I fired you first so ha!
Prof. Snape: But I have more power than you so YOU'RE FIRED!
Prof. McGongall: I FIRED YOU FIRST SO YOU HAVE NO POWER TO FIRE MY SO NYAH NYAH NYAH BOO-BOO *sticks out tongue*
Prof. Snape: WAH! I want my mommmy!
Akia: Okay.Snape, are you a tranvestite? If not, did you and Quirrel have a 'thing'? Because you tried to cuddle with him in the movie. Question from shiningkitty.
Prof. Snape: Another lover, Professor Quirrel. Such as shame that he had to die. Nobody was supposed to know about the cuddling! Wasn't that scene taken out?! What about that other scene with him?
Hika: There was another one?
Prof. Snape: ME AND MY BIG MOUTH THAT CAN'T KEEP SHUT!
Akia: Here's a question from I Am A Banana My Spoon Is Too Big: I LOVE YOU! WILL YOU MARRY ME???? SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Prof. Snape: Sure, if you have money. Because I'm all broke on the other weddings I've had. WHAT IS WITH MY BIG MOUTH?!
Hika: You've had other weddings? Who what where when why and how?
Prof. Snape: Do you really want to go into detail?
Akia: I guess not. just one question concerning the weddings.how old was you when you first had your first wedding?
Prof. Snape: About sixteen years old. That was the Lord Voldemort.
Hika: I DON'T want to know.
Akia: Another question from Riona.
Prof. Snape: If it is about my love with Mr. Filch, DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
A minute later.
Prof. Snape: Talking mushrooms! What is with my mouth today?!
Akia: Continuing with the question. and if you were attacked by a monsterthingy the size of a building with 17-inch claws and fangs as big as cars, would you say 'Eep'?
Prof. Snape: Duh! *sticks out tongue*
Hika: Do you ever wash your hair, a question by Skye Gemini?
Prof. Snape: No, I believe that washing my hair will lessen the chance of my hair growing. You see, I'm trying to have my hair to be as long as Rapunzel! Then my prince will come for me!
Akia: Mickey has two amazing questions, 1: Have you heard of something called SHAMPOO??? Hee-hee! That's a funny word! Shampoo! Like, that wierd psycho lady from Ranma 1/2! *High pitched voice*"Ranma, hurry and to rescuing Shampoo!"*Big cheesy grin*
Prof. Snape: Haven't I already answered that question?! And yes, I have heard of shampoo, I have eaten it as a desert before. I especially like Lorel Shamppo that's watermlon flavored.
Hika: 2: Why is your skin sallow? DO YOU HAVE A SKIN DISEASE! AAAAAAAAH! SKIN DISEASE OF THE PINK FUZZIE BUNNY SLIPPERS!
Prof. Snape: I DO NOT HAVE THE SKIN DISEASE OF THE PINK FUZZIE BUNNY SLIPPERS! I just the disease of the purple fuzzie rabbit slippers. It makes me unable to blink at all. See? *blinks*
Akia: That's all folks! Lean Fat rules!
A/N: Next guest. Professor Dumbledore! Send in your questions.
Hika: Welcome to our long lost edition of The Pen Show! Our stupid editor lost it when she was backpacking through the Arctic Circle as the round- headed perverted toucan ate it and I don't care if toucans don't live in the Arctic Circle!
Akia: Anyway, our guest star this time is Professor Snape! This is the very first time that a Professor has premiered onto The Pen Show. Bring him in!
Professor Snape: Do you know many cows are made each day?
Hika: He had a very odd reaction to the potion sadly.
Akia: By the way, we have series of questions relating to your *cough* relationships *cough*. So, our first question from StarWarrior: Do you love Professor McGonagall so much that you would die for her?
Prof. Snape: *flutters eyes rapidly* My dear heart, my desire, my only, my precious *growls* I'll kill that Hagrid if he keeps his hands away from my dear heart, my desire, my only, my precious *growls* And Minerva, here's a kiss from me *blows a kiss at random figure*
Akia: Is it true that Peeves dumped a love potion in the cookie batter and you ate the cookies and fell in love with Ms. Norris? Question from Riona.
Prof. Snape: Ms. Norris? I loved her so badly, we had kittens together, oh those were the good 'ol days when humans were allowed to mate with other animals. *sniff*
Hika: What, er, HAPPENED to the kittens?
Prof. Snape: Oh, they stayed with their mothers.
Akia: There's more than one mother involved?!
Prof. Snape: We were still talking about Ms. Norris?
Hika: Who else was involved?
Prof. Snape: There's the black midnight cat, the scarlet one, the tawny one, hushbaby, Mr. Norris, and the gingered one.
Akia: Hermione's cat?!
Prof. Snape: Yea, that's the cat! That was my favorite!
Hika: Yikes! Anyway, going back to the question. This question is from Skye Gemini: is it true that you love Draco Malfoy?
Prof. Snape: Ah, have YOU ever wondered why he always passed my class? My sweetheart, too bad he didn't love me back! He'll get it, I'm sure. when he least expects it.
BOO!
Haha, did I scare ya? Did I? Did I did I did I did I did I? *jumps up and down*
*from the audience*
Prof. McGongall: YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU LOVED ANYBODY ELSE! SURE I KNEW ABOUT THE CATS, BUT WHAT EVERY HAPPENED TO TELLING SECRETES YOU LITTLE RAT! YOU'RE FIRED!
Prof. Snape: No YOU'RE FIRED!
Prof. McGongall: I fired you first so ha!
Prof. Snape: But I have more power than you so YOU'RE FIRED!
Prof. McGongall: I FIRED YOU FIRST SO YOU HAVE NO POWER TO FIRE MY SO NYAH NYAH NYAH BOO-BOO *sticks out tongue*
Prof. Snape: WAH! I want my mommmy!
Akia: Okay.Snape, are you a tranvestite? If not, did you and Quirrel have a 'thing'? Because you tried to cuddle with him in the movie. Question from shiningkitty.
Prof. Snape: Another lover, Professor Quirrel. Such as shame that he had to die. Nobody was supposed to know about the cuddling! Wasn't that scene taken out?! What about that other scene with him?
Hika: There was another one?
Prof. Snape: ME AND MY BIG MOUTH THAT CAN'T KEEP SHUT!
Akia: Here's a question from I Am A Banana My Spoon Is Too Big: I LOVE YOU! WILL YOU MARRY ME???? SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Prof. Snape: Sure, if you have money. Because I'm all broke on the other weddings I've had. WHAT IS WITH MY BIG MOUTH?!
Hika: You've had other weddings? Who what where when why and how?
Prof. Snape: Do you really want to go into detail?
Akia: I guess not. just one question concerning the weddings.how old was you when you first had your first wedding?
Prof. Snape: About sixteen years old. That was the Lord Voldemort.
Hika: I DON'T want to know.
Akia: Another question from Riona.
Prof. Snape: If it is about my love with Mr. Filch, DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
A minute later.
Prof. Snape: Talking mushrooms! What is with my mouth today?!
Akia: Continuing with the question. and if you were attacked by a monsterthingy the size of a building with 17-inch claws and fangs as big as cars, would you say 'Eep'?
Prof. Snape: Duh! *sticks out tongue*
Hika: Do you ever wash your hair, a question by Skye Gemini?
Prof. Snape: No, I believe that washing my hair will lessen the chance of my hair growing. You see, I'm trying to have my hair to be as long as Rapunzel! Then my prince will come for me!
Akia: Mickey has two amazing questions, 1: Have you heard of something called SHAMPOO??? Hee-hee! That's a funny word! Shampoo! Like, that wierd psycho lady from Ranma 1/2! *High pitched voice*"Ranma, hurry and to rescuing Shampoo!"*Big cheesy grin*
Prof. Snape: Haven't I already answered that question?! And yes, I have heard of shampoo, I have eaten it as a desert before. I especially like Lorel Shamppo that's watermlon flavored.
Hika: 2: Why is your skin sallow? DO YOU HAVE A SKIN DISEASE! AAAAAAAAH! SKIN DISEASE OF THE PINK FUZZIE BUNNY SLIPPERS!
Prof. Snape: I DO NOT HAVE THE SKIN DISEASE OF THE PINK FUZZIE BUNNY SLIPPERS! I just the disease of the purple fuzzie rabbit slippers. It makes me unable to blink at all. See? *blinks*
Akia: That's all folks! Lean Fat rules!
A/N: Next guest. Professor Dumbledore! Send in your questions.