The Pen Show *drumroll*
A/N:Thanks to these people for their questions: -Lady Viviane -Mickey -I Am A Banana My Spoon Is Too Big -Toasted Marshmellow -I Am A Tangerine My Spork Is Too Pointy -Isobel (and that's okay you reviewed for Chapter 1) -Loren -Zephdae -Geppe
Hika: WELCOME to your doom! *cackles*
Akia: And welcome to the pen show. We have a very unimportant guest today that we just managed to catch because of his unimportance since everyone nowadays are running around to catch Lord Voldemort that is hiding in the tree of 2985 Street.
*drumroll*
Hika: BRING IN PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE!
*more drumroll*
Akia: Will you stop it with the drumroll please drumroll guy?!
*more drumroll*
Professor Dumbledore: Hey everyone *twirls around like a ballerina*
Hika: Have you EVER cut your beard?
Professor Dumbledore: Of course not! I am growing it out so when I have children, I can cut it and they will have bad luck for eternity! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (etc.)
Akia: Isn't that bad for your children when you have them?
Professor Dumbledore: What?
Hika: And will Professor McGonagall be the mother of your children?
Professor Dumbledore: Will she? She does seem quite sexually active. *licks lips* Yum!
Akia: *backs away and falls out of chair* Um. yea.Anyway, if the train crashed into the Titanic while it was flying through the sky, and little octopii were drinking from Moaning Myrtle's toilet, and then you were tied to a brick at the bottom of the ocean with the mermaids screeching about your glasses and your wand was gone, do the dolphins do the chicken dance?
Professor Dumbledore: First off, which train is it? Because I need to crash a train sometime soon. That's my New Year resolution. Second, didn't I forbid octopi to drink from Moaning Myrtle's toilet?! I was the only person who could do that!! Third, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I WAS TIED A BRICK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN? I knew Lord Voldemort blabbed about something. And yes, dolphins do the chicken dance, especially me!
Hika: I am getting married to I Am A Tangerine My Spork is Too Pointy! Would you like to attend the wedding? WE ARE HAVING PONY RIDES!!!!!!!! (it's a question from I Am A Banana My Spoon is Too Big)
Professor Dumbledore: An invitation to a wedding? How beautiful! I didn't remember going to a wedding since my wedding to Great Old Aunt! *cries* And did you say you were having pony rides?! I LOVE PONIES! They are most beautiful creatures in the world and the most purtiest and the most cutest of all and they are just oomph!
Akia: I don't want to know. Do YOU know how to spell Alan Reikkmeen's last name? I DON'T!!!! Do you think it's...
1)Ricman
2)Rickman
3)Rikman
4)Reikkmeen
I THINK IT'S NUMBER 4!!!!! HOW ABOUT YOU????
Professor Dumbledore: Personally, I don't think that it's any of those spellings. I think it is Rogers! Really, check on Mr. Roger's show! Don't you think that he looks a lot like Alan Reikkmeen? That was my favorite show!!
Hika: Do you like cheese?
Professor Dumbledore: Are you insane?! Cheese is the form of all evil in the world. Whoever eats it turns into a flying turtle being hurtled from a cannon and crashed into a giant fan club where those people beat you up so that you turn into a duck that doesn't know how to swim so when they go swimming, you sink to the deep deep deep bottom of the purple ocean but then you turn into a penguin but still you're at the bottom of the ocean so you turn into a heron that can't fly so when you try to fly, you land ontop of a car and voila! That's how you end up with a car! Eat cheese!
Akia: *glazed eyed* You are so smart.can I marry you?
Professor Dumbledore: Sorry, full house tonight babe. Would you like next week? I'm free midnight at the Drunken Bar.
Akia: Anything Professor Dumbledore.
Hika: Stop it! I want Professor Dumbledore!! *slaps Akia*
Akia: I WANT HIM YOU MORONIC IDIOT!
Hika: THAT'S OLD YOU KNOW FAT BUTT!
Akia: Why are you looking at my butt peeves?
Hika: PEEVES?! YOU ARE PEEVES YOU UGLY SLUG!
Akia: *growls*
Hika: *SCRATCHES AKIA*
[Aika and Hika get into a cat fight]
*Zephdae runs into show with Tom Riddle and Iorek Brynison*
Zephdae: WHERE ARE YOU Loppy Nematoad?! I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE!
[Akia and Hika stop fighting]
Akia: She's not here idiot!
Hika: It's a he!
Akia: It's a she!
Hika: It's a he!
Akia: IT'S A GIRL!
Hika: It's a boy!
[gets into fight again]
[Stage crew runs in]
Stage Manager: We will host the show until Akia and Hika can settle over a decision.
Stage Producer: Yea! Okay.um *picks up notecards* Dumbledore, how many children have you ever had out of wedlock?
Professor Dumbledore: Let me count.*mutters* Twenty, no twenty two. Was Lavendar mine? Yes, I think so because Lavender is my favorite color.so I named her.no, then what about Ron? Oh yes, Ron is my middle name twice removed so I named him too. WAIT, no, Albert is my name twice removed. Or was it Jon? No, I'm sure it's Ron. Maybe it was Bob.or Rob.or Cob.or Hob.or Job.or Lob.or Tob.or Eob! That's it! Eob! No, it was Bobetter! No it wasn't.it was Betsy. No, Poppit you idiot. I told you a million times, it's BOBETTER! What kind of stupid middle name twice removed it that? Yours you idiot! It's Lara you idiot! No, it's Lavender! Bobetter! Lavender! Bobetter! Lavender!!! Bobetter and that's final! If you argue with me, I'll have you fired you big fartmunch.
Stage Manager: So how many was it?
Professor Dumbledore: Bobetter!
[Stage Manager glance questioningly]
Stage Producer: What? It's a fine number! Anyway, Why are you here? YOU ARE DEAD!!!!!!! I KNOW YOU ARE DEEEEEEEEAD! YOU DIED ON OCTOBER 25!!!!! IT'S NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *twitches*
Professor Dumbledore: Am I dead? *pokes himself* Augh! I am dead!! I'm dead!! You killed me! I'm gonna sue you! Wait, I can't sue, I'm dead! Augh! I'm dead! I'm dead!!! Augh!!! I'm dead!!!
Stage Manager: WHY CAN'T I ASK THE QUESTIONS?
Stage Producer: Because I have the notecard *nyah nyah*! Ha!
Stage Manager: I WANT THE NOTECARD! *grabs notecard*
Stage Producer: I had it first! Stage Manager: Fartmunch! ANYWAY, what does Dumbledore wear under his robes?
[Stage Manager and Stage Producer gets into fight]
Professor Dumbledore: Well first, let's start from most inner layer out. There's my silk thong that is just so cozy and sweet. And then my pant legs which are hot pink, don't you think that's just such a hot color *sizzle*? Later there's my bra to hold everything together.and of course my giant billowy pants that blow in the wind. Nobody wears a shirt these days so I don't either! Plus it's quite easy to change.
....
That's all folks! Next guest.Goyle!
A/N:Thanks to these people for their questions: -Lady Viviane -Mickey -I Am A Banana My Spoon Is Too Big -Toasted Marshmellow -I Am A Tangerine My Spork Is Too Pointy -Isobel (and that's okay you reviewed for Chapter 1) -Loren -Zephdae -Geppe
Hika: WELCOME to your doom! *cackles*
Akia: And welcome to the pen show. We have a very unimportant guest today that we just managed to catch because of his unimportance since everyone nowadays are running around to catch Lord Voldemort that is hiding in the tree of 2985 Street.
*drumroll*
Hika: BRING IN PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE!
*more drumroll*
Akia: Will you stop it with the drumroll please drumroll guy?!
*more drumroll*
Professor Dumbledore: Hey everyone *twirls around like a ballerina*
Hika: Have you EVER cut your beard?
Professor Dumbledore: Of course not! I am growing it out so when I have children, I can cut it and they will have bad luck for eternity! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (etc.)
Akia: Isn't that bad for your children when you have them?
Professor Dumbledore: What?
Hika: And will Professor McGonagall be the mother of your children?
Professor Dumbledore: Will she? She does seem quite sexually active. *licks lips* Yum!
Akia: *backs away and falls out of chair* Um. yea.Anyway, if the train crashed into the Titanic while it was flying through the sky, and little octopii were drinking from Moaning Myrtle's toilet, and then you were tied to a brick at the bottom of the ocean with the mermaids screeching about your glasses and your wand was gone, do the dolphins do the chicken dance?
Professor Dumbledore: First off, which train is it? Because I need to crash a train sometime soon. That's my New Year resolution. Second, didn't I forbid octopi to drink from Moaning Myrtle's toilet?! I was the only person who could do that!! Third, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I WAS TIED A BRICK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN? I knew Lord Voldemort blabbed about something. And yes, dolphins do the chicken dance, especially me!
Hika: I am getting married to I Am A Tangerine My Spork is Too Pointy! Would you like to attend the wedding? WE ARE HAVING PONY RIDES!!!!!!!! (it's a question from I Am A Banana My Spoon is Too Big)
Professor Dumbledore: An invitation to a wedding? How beautiful! I didn't remember going to a wedding since my wedding to Great Old Aunt! *cries* And did you say you were having pony rides?! I LOVE PONIES! They are most beautiful creatures in the world and the most purtiest and the most cutest of all and they are just oomph!
Akia: I don't want to know. Do YOU know how to spell Alan Reikkmeen's last name? I DON'T!!!! Do you think it's...
1)Ricman
2)Rickman
3)Rikman
4)Reikkmeen
I THINK IT'S NUMBER 4!!!!! HOW ABOUT YOU????
Professor Dumbledore: Personally, I don't think that it's any of those spellings. I think it is Rogers! Really, check on Mr. Roger's show! Don't you think that he looks a lot like Alan Reikkmeen? That was my favorite show!!
Hika: Do you like cheese?
Professor Dumbledore: Are you insane?! Cheese is the form of all evil in the world. Whoever eats it turns into a flying turtle being hurtled from a cannon and crashed into a giant fan club where those people beat you up so that you turn into a duck that doesn't know how to swim so when they go swimming, you sink to the deep deep deep bottom of the purple ocean but then you turn into a penguin but still you're at the bottom of the ocean so you turn into a heron that can't fly so when you try to fly, you land ontop of a car and voila! That's how you end up with a car! Eat cheese!
Akia: *glazed eyed* You are so smart.can I marry you?
Professor Dumbledore: Sorry, full house tonight babe. Would you like next week? I'm free midnight at the Drunken Bar.
Akia: Anything Professor Dumbledore.
Hika: Stop it! I want Professor Dumbledore!! *slaps Akia*
Akia: I WANT HIM YOU MORONIC IDIOT!
Hika: THAT'S OLD YOU KNOW FAT BUTT!
Akia: Why are you looking at my butt peeves?
Hika: PEEVES?! YOU ARE PEEVES YOU UGLY SLUG!
Akia: *growls*
Hika: *SCRATCHES AKIA*
[Aika and Hika get into a cat fight]
*Zephdae runs into show with Tom Riddle and Iorek Brynison*
Zephdae: WHERE ARE YOU Loppy Nematoad?! I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE!
[Akia and Hika stop fighting]
Akia: She's not here idiot!
Hika: It's a he!
Akia: It's a she!
Hika: It's a he!
Akia: IT'S A GIRL!
Hika: It's a boy!
[gets into fight again]
[Stage crew runs in]
Stage Manager: We will host the show until Akia and Hika can settle over a decision.
Stage Producer: Yea! Okay.um *picks up notecards* Dumbledore, how many children have you ever had out of wedlock?
Professor Dumbledore: Let me count.*mutters* Twenty, no twenty two. Was Lavendar mine? Yes, I think so because Lavender is my favorite color.so I named her.no, then what about Ron? Oh yes, Ron is my middle name twice removed so I named him too. WAIT, no, Albert is my name twice removed. Or was it Jon? No, I'm sure it's Ron. Maybe it was Bob.or Rob.or Cob.or Hob.or Job.or Lob.or Tob.or Eob! That's it! Eob! No, it was Bobetter! No it wasn't.it was Betsy. No, Poppit you idiot. I told you a million times, it's BOBETTER! What kind of stupid middle name twice removed it that? Yours you idiot! It's Lara you idiot! No, it's Lavender! Bobetter! Lavender! Bobetter! Lavender!!! Bobetter and that's final! If you argue with me, I'll have you fired you big fartmunch.
Stage Manager: So how many was it?
Professor Dumbledore: Bobetter!
[Stage Manager glance questioningly]
Stage Producer: What? It's a fine number! Anyway, Why are you here? YOU ARE DEAD!!!!!!! I KNOW YOU ARE DEEEEEEEEAD! YOU DIED ON OCTOBER 25!!!!! IT'S NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *twitches*
Professor Dumbledore: Am I dead? *pokes himself* Augh! I am dead!! I'm dead!! You killed me! I'm gonna sue you! Wait, I can't sue, I'm dead! Augh! I'm dead! I'm dead!!! Augh!!! I'm dead!!!
Stage Manager: WHY CAN'T I ASK THE QUESTIONS?
Stage Producer: Because I have the notecard *nyah nyah*! Ha!
Stage Manager: I WANT THE NOTECARD! *grabs notecard*
Stage Producer: I had it first! Stage Manager: Fartmunch! ANYWAY, what does Dumbledore wear under his robes?
[Stage Manager and Stage Producer gets into fight]
Professor Dumbledore: Well first, let's start from most inner layer out. There's my silk thong that is just so cozy and sweet. And then my pant legs which are hot pink, don't you think that's just such a hot color *sizzle*? Later there's my bra to hold everything together.and of course my giant billowy pants that blow in the wind. Nobody wears a shirt these days so I don't either! Plus it's quite easy to change.
....
That's all folks! Next guest.Goyle!