FINAL FANTASY EDITION OF "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"!
Whose Line is it Anyway is the property of ABC
Final Fantasy and its characters are the property of Square and Co
Various 8-Bit Theatre Stereotypes are the property of Brian Clevenger - http://www.nuklearpower.com/comic
Drew Carey and Anne Robinson are the property of…um…themselves
James Bond is the property of Ian Flemming, MGM/UA
The Weakest Link is the property of either ABC, NBC, or CBS O_o
(Whose Line theme plays)
Drew: Hello everybody and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway!
(Camera focusses on contestants)
My name is Strife, Cloud Strife!
(Cloud waves)
This isn't mission difficult Mr. Hunt, it's Selphie Tillmit!
(Selphie gives the peace sign)
If ya wanna spy, you better spy Cid Highwind!
(Cid gives thumbs up)
Bang! You're dead! It's Rikku!
And I'm your host Drew Carey, come on let's have som fun!
(Drew sits down)
Drew: Heey, and welcome to a special Final Fantasy edition of Whose Line. What's gonna happen here is these performers are gonna come out here and play games, then after I give them these fakey points, what don't mean a thing. That's right, they're useless…just like wondering what gender Zidane is.
(Laughter)
Anyways, after the show we choose a winner, and the winner gets to do a little something special with me!
("Woot"ing from the crowd)
And the loser gets to watch out for the cops.
(Laughter, Cid lights up a cig)
Alright, we're gonna start off with Weird Newscasters! This game is for all four of you. Rikku, you're gonna be the anchor of a news type show, and Cloud's gonna be your co-anchor. Cloud, your multiple personalities are fighting over who gets to run the show. Oh, and it says here-
Cloud: Yeah yeah…
Drew: Selphie, you're doing sports. You're Anne Robinson on her period.
And Cid, you're doing the weather. You're de-evolving each time you use the letter E.
(Cid spits out his cigarette)
(Theme plays)
Rikku: Hello and welcome to the 12:57am news! I've been without any for 47 days, god help me. Our top story tonight – A man who sent a birthday card with the joke return adress "456 Powder Drive, Intoxicated City California", is being charged with terrorism. The US Postal Service discovered this when they opened up the card to take the money inside.
(Laughter)
And now, I believe my co-anchor Jack Hoff has a report for us! Jack?
Cloud: (Title: "Multiple personalities fight each other" is displayed) (Granny voice) Well thank you young child. Something about your last story interrests me (Crazed killer voice) Because it involves DEATH! Lots of DEATH! And (Imitating Jeff Goldblum) If-if-if er um Ih-ih-ih-it's quite alright with you, I'd just like to (Brittish accent) No! Anthrax! (Falls off chair, lies on back, pretends something is coming out of his stomach) Oh no….not again….(Passes out)
Rikku: (Sweatdrops) Er..okay! Now let's go on over to our sports correspondant! Anne? What have you got for us?
Selphie: (Title: "Anne Robinson on her period" is displayed) If there's anything I can't stand, it's people like you asking me questions! I'm the bloody host, I ASK THE QUESTIONS! Now you! (Indicates Drew) What is the estimated IQ of the common male?
Drew: Er…um…150?
Selphie: WRONG! Negitive five! You! (Indicates Cloud) How many tennis lesbians can you fit into an elevator?
Cloud: (As James Bond) Agent Double-O-Seven…
Selphie: Incorrect! You are the weakest link, get lost!
Rikku: Alright, that's quite enough! And now we've got one heck of a weird weekend weather coming up! Evo Lution, tell us about it!
Cid: (Title: "De-Evolves whenever he uses the Letter E) Okay Rikku. Tonight, our (Bleeped out) weather (He slouches slightly) Is gonna, you know, go all funny and weird (He gets on his knees). Rain bad. Rain all weekend. (He flops around on the floor) Bloop! Bloop! Bloopey! (He gets back up) Just like finding out what gender Zidane is, the points don't matter!
(Drew keeps pressing the buzzer, indicating the end of game)
Drew: Alright, that was great. 5000 points go to the censor. Buddy, you're doing a great job of ruining people's viewing experience, keep it up!
Alright, our next game, is Whose Line. We actually have a game called Whose Line on Whose Line. This game's for Cloud and Cid. Now what these guys are gonna do is act out a scene, but they have to use these random lines that the audicence came up with at some point during the skit (He hands them their lines, they stuff them away). Now, here's your scene. Cloud is James Bond, strapped to a table, while Cid, is the evil villain that reveals his evil plot for world domination. Whenever you're ready, you can start.
Cid: A-ha! Welcome Mr. Bond to my underground lair, where I well tell you my evil plan for world domination and then put you in a death machine that does not work! Bwahahaha!
Cloud: (Shrugs) Alright then
(Cloud lies down on the ground)
Cid: You've come to your end Mr. Bond! No one can save you now!
Cloud: No, wait! Tell me your evil plot for world domination!
Cid: You really want to know? Alright Mr. Bond, I'll tell you my plan. My plan is to unleash upon the world, my weapon so foul, so cruel…I named it (He pulls out a line) "No I did not have sexual relations with that toaster!"
Cloud: Dear god that's evil!
Cid: Indeed it is. Bwahahaha!
Cloud: But…you know you'll never get away with it.
Cid: Huh? Why not?
Cloud: Because we british have a saying…and that saying is (Pulls out a line) "Why don't you and the frickin laser get a room for god's sake!" ….I think QE2 was talking to Camilla and Charles at the time.
Cid: Oh I'll give you a laser alright. Look up, what do you see?
Cloud: ….A laser?
Cid: Exactly! Do you know what was the last words of the person who I tested it on?
Cloud: Not really
Cid: His exact words were (Pulls out a line) "All my other boyfriends called me Rex!"….He was my ex-boyfriend, and I just had to kill him
Cloud: You choose men? You're eviler than I thought!
Cid: How dare you insult me! You should be begging for mercy!
Cloud: You think so? Well when I utter the secret phrase, secret troops will rush in and save me!
Cid: Hahahaha! There is no escape for you!
Cloud: (Pulls out a line, starts yelling it) "I WANT MY BABY BACK BABY BACK BABY BACK RIBS!"
(Drew buzzes)
Whose Line is it Anyway is the property of ABC
Final Fantasy and its characters are the property of Square and Co
Various 8-Bit Theatre Stereotypes are the property of Brian Clevenger - http://www.nuklearpower.com/comic
Drew Carey and Anne Robinson are the property of…um…themselves
James Bond is the property of Ian Flemming, MGM/UA
The Weakest Link is the property of either ABC, NBC, or CBS O_o
(Whose Line theme plays)
Drew: Hello everybody and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway!
(Camera focusses on contestants)
My name is Strife, Cloud Strife!
(Cloud waves)
This isn't mission difficult Mr. Hunt, it's Selphie Tillmit!
(Selphie gives the peace sign)
If ya wanna spy, you better spy Cid Highwind!
(Cid gives thumbs up)
Bang! You're dead! It's Rikku!
And I'm your host Drew Carey, come on let's have som fun!
(Drew sits down)
Drew: Heey, and welcome to a special Final Fantasy edition of Whose Line. What's gonna happen here is these performers are gonna come out here and play games, then after I give them these fakey points, what don't mean a thing. That's right, they're useless…just like wondering what gender Zidane is.
(Laughter)
Anyways, after the show we choose a winner, and the winner gets to do a little something special with me!
("Woot"ing from the crowd)
And the loser gets to watch out for the cops.
(Laughter, Cid lights up a cig)
Alright, we're gonna start off with Weird Newscasters! This game is for all four of you. Rikku, you're gonna be the anchor of a news type show, and Cloud's gonna be your co-anchor. Cloud, your multiple personalities are fighting over who gets to run the show. Oh, and it says here-
Cloud: Yeah yeah…
Drew: Selphie, you're doing sports. You're Anne Robinson on her period.
And Cid, you're doing the weather. You're de-evolving each time you use the letter E.
(Cid spits out his cigarette)
(Theme plays)
Rikku: Hello and welcome to the 12:57am news! I've been without any for 47 days, god help me. Our top story tonight – A man who sent a birthday card with the joke return adress "456 Powder Drive, Intoxicated City California", is being charged with terrorism. The US Postal Service discovered this when they opened up the card to take the money inside.
(Laughter)
And now, I believe my co-anchor Jack Hoff has a report for us! Jack?
Cloud: (Title: "Multiple personalities fight each other" is displayed) (Granny voice) Well thank you young child. Something about your last story interrests me (Crazed killer voice) Because it involves DEATH! Lots of DEATH! And (Imitating Jeff Goldblum) If-if-if er um Ih-ih-ih-it's quite alright with you, I'd just like to (Brittish accent) No! Anthrax! (Falls off chair, lies on back, pretends something is coming out of his stomach) Oh no….not again….(Passes out)
Rikku: (Sweatdrops) Er..okay! Now let's go on over to our sports correspondant! Anne? What have you got for us?
Selphie: (Title: "Anne Robinson on her period" is displayed) If there's anything I can't stand, it's people like you asking me questions! I'm the bloody host, I ASK THE QUESTIONS! Now you! (Indicates Drew) What is the estimated IQ of the common male?
Drew: Er…um…150?
Selphie: WRONG! Negitive five! You! (Indicates Cloud) How many tennis lesbians can you fit into an elevator?
Cloud: (As James Bond) Agent Double-O-Seven…
Selphie: Incorrect! You are the weakest link, get lost!
Rikku: Alright, that's quite enough! And now we've got one heck of a weird weekend weather coming up! Evo Lution, tell us about it!
Cid: (Title: "De-Evolves whenever he uses the Letter E) Okay Rikku. Tonight, our (Bleeped out) weather (He slouches slightly) Is gonna, you know, go all funny and weird (He gets on his knees). Rain bad. Rain all weekend. (He flops around on the floor) Bloop! Bloop! Bloopey! (He gets back up) Just like finding out what gender Zidane is, the points don't matter!
(Drew keeps pressing the buzzer, indicating the end of game)
Drew: Alright, that was great. 5000 points go to the censor. Buddy, you're doing a great job of ruining people's viewing experience, keep it up!
Alright, our next game, is Whose Line. We actually have a game called Whose Line on Whose Line. This game's for Cloud and Cid. Now what these guys are gonna do is act out a scene, but they have to use these random lines that the audicence came up with at some point during the skit (He hands them their lines, they stuff them away). Now, here's your scene. Cloud is James Bond, strapped to a table, while Cid, is the evil villain that reveals his evil plot for world domination. Whenever you're ready, you can start.
Cid: A-ha! Welcome Mr. Bond to my underground lair, where I well tell you my evil plan for world domination and then put you in a death machine that does not work! Bwahahaha!
Cloud: (Shrugs) Alright then
(Cloud lies down on the ground)
Cid: You've come to your end Mr. Bond! No one can save you now!
Cloud: No, wait! Tell me your evil plot for world domination!
Cid: You really want to know? Alright Mr. Bond, I'll tell you my plan. My plan is to unleash upon the world, my weapon so foul, so cruel…I named it (He pulls out a line) "No I did not have sexual relations with that toaster!"
Cloud: Dear god that's evil!
Cid: Indeed it is. Bwahahaha!
Cloud: But…you know you'll never get away with it.
Cid: Huh? Why not?
Cloud: Because we british have a saying…and that saying is (Pulls out a line) "Why don't you and the frickin laser get a room for god's sake!" ….I think QE2 was talking to Camilla and Charles at the time.
Cid: Oh I'll give you a laser alright. Look up, what do you see?
Cloud: ….A laser?
Cid: Exactly! Do you know what was the last words of the person who I tested it on?
Cloud: Not really
Cid: His exact words were (Pulls out a line) "All my other boyfriends called me Rex!"….He was my ex-boyfriend, and I just had to kill him
Cloud: You choose men? You're eviler than I thought!
Cid: How dare you insult me! You should be begging for mercy!
Cloud: You think so? Well when I utter the secret phrase, secret troops will rush in and save me!
Cid: Hahahaha! There is no escape for you!
Cloud: (Pulls out a line, starts yelling it) "I WANT MY BABY BACK BABY BACK BABY BACK RIBS!"
(Drew buzzes)