Drew: Okaaaay, not bad. Thousand points goes out to all the men named Rex!
Alright, now, next game, all time favorite – Scenes from a hat! You guys
know the drill. Starting out with…
"Things you'll never hear an FF character say"
(Cid walks up)
Cid: (As himself) Cigarettes will kill you, you stupid !$#!@!!
(Buzzer, Rikku walks up)
Rikku: (Puts on Auron's sunglasses) Tidus, you're a whiney brainless little fag!
(Buzzer, Cloud walks up)
Cloud: (Puts on Irvine's hat) Would you like to have hot sweaty sex with me? Naah, let's play parcheesi
(Buzzer, Selphie glares at Cloud. She walks up)
Selphie: (Imitating Tifa) Um…Cloud? Maybe if we water it, it'll grow?
(Buzzer, whooting from crowd. Selphie gives Cloud the peace sign)
Drew: Okaay…"Bad songs to serenade your date with"
(Rikku walks up)
"Tiiiidus! You better pleasure me for this food!"
(Buzzer, Cid walks up)
"Why, god why, did you bless me with impotence?"
(Buzzer, Selphie walks up)
"Gueeess what Irvy? I'm pregnant!"
(Buzzer, Cloud walks up)
Cloud: Daaamn, those are big!
(More hooting, Cloud walks off)
Drew: Alright…"Other things Scarlet could have named the Mako Cannon"
(Cloud walks back up)
Cloud: Daaamn, those are big!
(Buzzer, Selphie walks up)
Selphie: The Super Duper Pleasure Tron 5000!
(Whooting and cheering, Drew falls off his chair laughing)
Drew: Heh heh…alright. "What the surgeons really talk about while you're gassed"
(Rikku walks up)
Rikku: Have you seen my wedding ring? Garry? Jim?….Uh-oh…
(Buzzer, Cid walks up)
Cid: His kidney's the big red pumpy thing, right?
(Buzzer, Cloud walks up)
Cloud: I wield a big ass sword! Of COURSE I'm skilled enough to remove his apendix! And here we go! Hup! Hup! Oh SHIT!
Drew: Hmm…"Children's books that didn't make it."
(Selphie walks up)
Selphie: The Magical Land inside the Abandoned Refrigerator!
(Buzzer, Cid walks up)
Cid: The Golden Book of Attaining Respect Through Fear!
(Buzzer, Cloud walks up)
Cloud: You've got Hepatitis B Charlie Brown!
(Buzzer, Rikku walks up)
Rikku: Four Letter Words of Fun!
(Buzzer, Cid walks back up)
Cid: You're Different – And That's BAD!
(Buzzer, end of game)
Drew: Okay! That was great. Ten thousand Canadian points for Cloud and his big ass sword! Know what that means?
Cloud: …?
Drew: It's worthless, just like regular points. HA HA!
Alright, moving right along…okay, we're gonna play Party Quirks! This is also for all four of you. Selphie, you're gonna be the host of a party, and the other three are gonna be the guests, and we'll ring them in one by one. But they've all got a strange quirk or identity, and you have to guess what they are.
(The trio look at their envelopes, and offer mixed feelings. Cid seems ready to tear his paper apart)
Whenever you're ready, start the party!
Selphie: (Runs around, setting up various things)
(Doorbell rings)
Selphie: Meep! (Pulls up some invisible clothes, then answers the door)
Rikku: Hi! (Subtitle – "Thinks peoples chests are jukeboxes" appears) Wow, you sure haven't got any good stuff! Let me see what you've got… (Starts poking varoius parts of Selphie's…er…um…funbags)
Selphie: (Sweatdrops) Er…I'm not your mother?
(Doorbell)
Rikku: Maybe your cat has something I like! (Scurries to one end of the stage)
Selphie: Right! Hiii!
Cloud: I offer you a +5/+5 greeting of friendship! (Subtitle – "The entire cast of 8-Bit Theatre" appears – Cloud walks in, then goes back to the door)
Selphie: (Nods somewhat) Uh, yeah, nice to see you too!
Cloud: Ding dong!
Selphie: (Answers it)
Cloud: Whoa, nice pad babe! Care to show me your love shack tootz?
Selphie: Er…maybe later
(Cloud walks in further, Rikku approaches him)
Rikku: Come on, sing the song I want! (Pokes at Cloud's chest)
Cloud: (Blinks some) Whoa, I think I like you already!
Selphie: His chest isn't a jukebox!
Drew: (Rings buzzer) Yes!
Cloud: (Appears at the doorway again, doesn't knock, simply knocks down the invisible door with his fist) Muahaha…I am the Evil one! The Evil…er…um…bad guy adversary person, yeah…(Walks in)
(Doorbell goes)
Selphie: Hiii there!
Cid: (Subtitle – "Gets Horny when he hears Selphie's voice" appears) Well hey hey hey! Nice to see you too! Where's the grub?
Selphie: Right over there!
Cid: Thank you, you sweet little thing! (Munches invisible food)
Cloud: (Walks up to Selphie) Your spiked punch has delt a –3/-3 blow to my defense statistics!
Selphie: Get your 8-Bit pixiled asses out of my house!
Drew: (Rings buzzer) One more to go!
Cid: (Puts his arms all over Selphie) Oh Selphie, my god, (He moans)
Selphie: Aah! No! Go away!
Cid: (He moans louder) I need to change my pants soon…
Selphie: My voice isn't sexy you pervert! (Slaps Cid)
Drew: (Buzzer) Three for three!
"Things you'll never hear an FF character say"
(Cid walks up)
Cid: (As himself) Cigarettes will kill you, you stupid !$#!@!!
(Buzzer, Rikku walks up)
Rikku: (Puts on Auron's sunglasses) Tidus, you're a whiney brainless little fag!
(Buzzer, Cloud walks up)
Cloud: (Puts on Irvine's hat) Would you like to have hot sweaty sex with me? Naah, let's play parcheesi
(Buzzer, Selphie glares at Cloud. She walks up)
Selphie: (Imitating Tifa) Um…Cloud? Maybe if we water it, it'll grow?
(Buzzer, whooting from crowd. Selphie gives Cloud the peace sign)
Drew: Okaay…"Bad songs to serenade your date with"
(Rikku walks up)
"Tiiiidus! You better pleasure me for this food!"
(Buzzer, Cid walks up)
"Why, god why, did you bless me with impotence?"
(Buzzer, Selphie walks up)
"Gueeess what Irvy? I'm pregnant!"
(Buzzer, Cloud walks up)
Cloud: Daaamn, those are big!
(More hooting, Cloud walks off)
Drew: Alright…"Other things Scarlet could have named the Mako Cannon"
(Cloud walks back up)
Cloud: Daaamn, those are big!
(Buzzer, Selphie walks up)
Selphie: The Super Duper Pleasure Tron 5000!
(Whooting and cheering, Drew falls off his chair laughing)
Drew: Heh heh…alright. "What the surgeons really talk about while you're gassed"
(Rikku walks up)
Rikku: Have you seen my wedding ring? Garry? Jim?….Uh-oh…
(Buzzer, Cid walks up)
Cid: His kidney's the big red pumpy thing, right?
(Buzzer, Cloud walks up)
Cloud: I wield a big ass sword! Of COURSE I'm skilled enough to remove his apendix! And here we go! Hup! Hup! Oh SHIT!
Drew: Hmm…"Children's books that didn't make it."
(Selphie walks up)
Selphie: The Magical Land inside the Abandoned Refrigerator!
(Buzzer, Cid walks up)
Cid: The Golden Book of Attaining Respect Through Fear!
(Buzzer, Cloud walks up)
Cloud: You've got Hepatitis B Charlie Brown!
(Buzzer, Rikku walks up)
Rikku: Four Letter Words of Fun!
(Buzzer, Cid walks back up)
Cid: You're Different – And That's BAD!
(Buzzer, end of game)
Drew: Okay! That was great. Ten thousand Canadian points for Cloud and his big ass sword! Know what that means?
Cloud: …?
Drew: It's worthless, just like regular points. HA HA!
Alright, moving right along…okay, we're gonna play Party Quirks! This is also for all four of you. Selphie, you're gonna be the host of a party, and the other three are gonna be the guests, and we'll ring them in one by one. But they've all got a strange quirk or identity, and you have to guess what they are.
(The trio look at their envelopes, and offer mixed feelings. Cid seems ready to tear his paper apart)
Whenever you're ready, start the party!
Selphie: (Runs around, setting up various things)
(Doorbell rings)
Selphie: Meep! (Pulls up some invisible clothes, then answers the door)
Rikku: Hi! (Subtitle – "Thinks peoples chests are jukeboxes" appears) Wow, you sure haven't got any good stuff! Let me see what you've got… (Starts poking varoius parts of Selphie's…er…um…funbags)
Selphie: (Sweatdrops) Er…I'm not your mother?
(Doorbell)
Rikku: Maybe your cat has something I like! (Scurries to one end of the stage)
Selphie: Right! Hiii!
Cloud: I offer you a +5/+5 greeting of friendship! (Subtitle – "The entire cast of 8-Bit Theatre" appears – Cloud walks in, then goes back to the door)
Selphie: (Nods somewhat) Uh, yeah, nice to see you too!
Cloud: Ding dong!
Selphie: (Answers it)
Cloud: Whoa, nice pad babe! Care to show me your love shack tootz?
Selphie: Er…maybe later
(Cloud walks in further, Rikku approaches him)
Rikku: Come on, sing the song I want! (Pokes at Cloud's chest)
Cloud: (Blinks some) Whoa, I think I like you already!
Selphie: His chest isn't a jukebox!
Drew: (Rings buzzer) Yes!
Cloud: (Appears at the doorway again, doesn't knock, simply knocks down the invisible door with his fist) Muahaha…I am the Evil one! The Evil…er…um…bad guy adversary person, yeah…(Walks in)
(Doorbell goes)
Selphie: Hiii there!
Cid: (Subtitle – "Gets Horny when he hears Selphie's voice" appears) Well hey hey hey! Nice to see you too! Where's the grub?
Selphie: Right over there!
Cid: Thank you, you sweet little thing! (Munches invisible food)
Cloud: (Walks up to Selphie) Your spiked punch has delt a –3/-3 blow to my defense statistics!
Selphie: Get your 8-Bit pixiled asses out of my house!
Drew: (Rings buzzer) One more to go!
Cid: (Puts his arms all over Selphie) Oh Selphie, my god, (He moans)
Selphie: Aah! No! Go away!
Cid: (He moans louder) I need to change my pants soon…
Selphie: My voice isn't sexy you pervert! (Slaps Cid)
Drew: (Buzzer) Three for three!