[Drew] Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to a new season of Final Fantasy Whose Line is it Anyway! On tonight's show:
Shaken, not Stirred: Quistis Trepe!
(Quistis waves)
Brandy, no ice: Reno!
(Spit take with his glass of water)
Gimmie something hard: FFX-2 Yuna!
(Yuna poses with Rikku and Paine all Charlie's Angels like)
And, I'll have whatever she did: Jecht!
(Jet tries to drink four bottles of Molson)
[Drew] And I'm your host Drew Carey, come on down, let's have some fun!
-Drew walks down to his desk, sits-
[Drew] And welcome to the long-awaited Second Season of Final Fantasy Whose Line! What's gonna happen here as usual, is these guys are gonna come out and perform for you guys making everything up off the top of their heads, and at the end of the game I give them these fakey points that don't mean a thing. Yep, they're like a thighmaster to Rosie O'Donnel.
-Laughter-
[Drew] And at the end of the game, I pick a winner, and the winner gets to do something special with me. Yep...That's right. I'm good to the Last Drop, Baby.
[Quistis] Ugh, please don't ever say that again O.o;;
[Drew] Anyway, onto the first game of this new season, we're gonna play Weird Newscasters! This game's for all four of you. Quistis, you're gonna be the anchor of a news-type show. Reno, you're her co-anchor. You're Chris Tucker.
[Reno] -High pitched- Do you understand the words that are comin' out of my mouth?
[Drew] That's the one. Yuna, you're doing sports. You're J-Lo reading off a bitchy list of demands.
[Yuna] -Puts hands on hips, peers around for an audience member to use.-
[Drew] And Jecht, you're doing the Weather. You're Fernando Martinez of Emotion 98.3!
-"Eye on Springfield" plays-
[Quistis] Good Evening, and welcome to 59 Minutes. I'm your anchor, Rosanne Rosanadanna. Our top story: Analysts have come up with the final conclusion regarging Osama bin Laden's origin. This photograph as you can planely see, proves that Hitler had sex with a Camel.
{MEANWHILE}
[Osama] ??????????! ( Oh Great, here we go again. )
{BACK AT FF STUDIOS}
[Quistis] And now it's time for me to introduce my new co-anchor, Heywood J'Blow me.
[Reno] -SUBTITLE: CHRIS TUCKER- Do you understand the words comin' out of my mouth? I say, I hear that President Bush wants to make Peurto Rico a steak! You can't do that! Because next they'll want a potato! And a salad bar! And before you know it, they'll want popcorn! It's outrageous! It's-
[Quistis] Heywood, President Bush wants to make Peurto Rico a STATE. Not a STEAK, STATE.
[Reno] Oh. Nevermind.
[Quistis] Please Yevon, take me now. Next up is the sports commentary with Jeniffer Blopez! Jeniffer?
[Yuna] -Subtitle: Jeniffer Lopez issues demands- Now listen up! In today's world of sports, you've gotta be tough! You gotta be mean! And to make sure you are, I'm gonna sue you for ten million dollars if you have to fix a wedge in baseball! Twenty million if you fumble a football! Thirty million if you get a penalty in Hockey! And I'm gonna sue you for a hundred billion kajillion zillion dollars if you ask me to wear that green dress one more time! Back to you! -Hmphs, crosses arms and blows hair out of face-
[Quistis] Try de-caf, Blopez. And moving on to the weekend weather, it's our weather expert, Fernando Martinez! Fernando?
[Jecht] -SUBTITLE: Fernando Martinez- *In fake Latin Lisp* For this weekend, it's going to start out rainy, which makes it perfect for a romantic walk in the rain, instead of having to say to your pretty lady, 'You may have to get out and push'. Drew, if you can explain why I would cut your throat if you made a foxy lady do that, I will give you a big, big, kiss, like I give a woman. But I am not going to give you a big kiss, like a kiss like I give a woman, or even a donkey, because, because you do not know.
[Drew] Well...I uh, I wasn't really up for kissing on air.
[Jecht] Why not, Drew? Am I not attractive? Am I not irrestistible?
[Quistis] -Really fast- ThatsAllWeHaveForFifteyNineMinutesJoinUsNextDayForAllTheTopStoriesGoodnight!
[Drew] -Rings buzzer, ends game- That was interresting. Jecht can have a thousand points for wanting to kiss me. Let's move on to Scenes from a Hat! This is also for all four of you. What we have is scenes suggested by random people that Beretta ran into, he wrote them down, and put them into this hat. -Pulls out army helmet- and I get these guys to act them out one at a time, starting with:
"Rejected Final Fantasy Fanfic ideas." ( Go ahead and steal them if you're that bored o_o )
-Jecht walks up-
[Jecht] You've hit Puberty, Tidus Brown!
-Quistis walks up-
[Quistis] Hotpants and Guns - The Yuna Story.
-Yuna glares at Quistis, then walks up-
[Yuna] Quistis and the Whip Fettish!
-Yuna sticks tongue out at Quistis. Reno walks up-
[Reno] How To Be a Lazy-Assed Turk Like Me and Get Paid For It.
"Little-Known facts about Zidane"
-Jecht walks up-
[Jecht] -Pretending to be Zidane - IQ drops about a kazillion points- As Garnet stood in her silk evening gown, I realized at that moment, that the three dollars I had spent on wine would not go to waste!
-Quistis walks up-
[Quistis] -Also pretends to be Zidane- It's not that I minded all the bashing Drew gave me early on in the season. I mean, sometimes it is hard to tell myself if I'm a guy or not. And then I thought to myself, 'What if I was a homosexual? What if?'
"Unlikely Race Horse names"
-Reno walks up-
[Reno] -Shouting- COME ON "NO LEGS"! COME ON!
-Yuna walks up-
[Yuna] Go "Gonna be Glue!" Go "Gonna be Glue!"
-Jecht walks up-
[Jecht] Coming up on the outside it's "Coming up on the Outside" and nose by a nose it's "Nose by a Nose" and coming up on the outside it's "Nose by a nose" and nose by a nose it's "Coming up on the Outside"...
"Bad times to say 'I don't care' to her-
-Yuna and Reno walk up-
[Yuna] I'm gonna name him Reno, and he'll have your eyes, and your hair...
[Reno] Whatever! -Walks off-
-Jecht walks up-
[Jecht] -Turns on imaginary TV set- Yeah, I love you too.
[Drew] Scenes from Jecht's real life...
-Jecht glares-
"People you Wish Would Just Shut Up"
-Jecht walks up again-
[Jecht] People you Wish Would Just shut up
-Laughter, Quistis and Reno walks up-
[Reno] -Imitating Wakka- You like Yuna, eh?
[Quistis] -Imitating Tidus's voice- Well, uh...
[Reno] -Still as Wakka- Don't gimmie' that shit, I know that look you gave her ass.
[Drew] -Buzzes- Hey, we'll come back with more FF: Whose Line is it Anyway, right after this! -Tosses army hat, accidently knocks over camera- Oh S&!#!
[Yuna] What was that?
[Reno] A camera fell over.
[Drew] Oh S^@$!
Shaken, not Stirred: Quistis Trepe!
(Quistis waves)
Brandy, no ice: Reno!
(Spit take with his glass of water)
Gimmie something hard: FFX-2 Yuna!
(Yuna poses with Rikku and Paine all Charlie's Angels like)
And, I'll have whatever she did: Jecht!
(Jet tries to drink four bottles of Molson)
[Drew] And I'm your host Drew Carey, come on down, let's have some fun!
-Drew walks down to his desk, sits-
[Drew] And welcome to the long-awaited Second Season of Final Fantasy Whose Line! What's gonna happen here as usual, is these guys are gonna come out and perform for you guys making everything up off the top of their heads, and at the end of the game I give them these fakey points that don't mean a thing. Yep, they're like a thighmaster to Rosie O'Donnel.
-Laughter-
[Drew] And at the end of the game, I pick a winner, and the winner gets to do something special with me. Yep...That's right. I'm good to the Last Drop, Baby.
[Quistis] Ugh, please don't ever say that again O.o;;
[Drew] Anyway, onto the first game of this new season, we're gonna play Weird Newscasters! This game's for all four of you. Quistis, you're gonna be the anchor of a news-type show. Reno, you're her co-anchor. You're Chris Tucker.
[Reno] -High pitched- Do you understand the words that are comin' out of my mouth?
[Drew] That's the one. Yuna, you're doing sports. You're J-Lo reading off a bitchy list of demands.
[Yuna] -Puts hands on hips, peers around for an audience member to use.-
[Drew] And Jecht, you're doing the Weather. You're Fernando Martinez of Emotion 98.3!
-"Eye on Springfield" plays-
[Quistis] Good Evening, and welcome to 59 Minutes. I'm your anchor, Rosanne Rosanadanna. Our top story: Analysts have come up with the final conclusion regarging Osama bin Laden's origin. This photograph as you can planely see, proves that Hitler had sex with a Camel.
{MEANWHILE}
[Osama] ??????????! ( Oh Great, here we go again. )
{BACK AT FF STUDIOS}
[Quistis] And now it's time for me to introduce my new co-anchor, Heywood J'Blow me.
[Reno] -SUBTITLE: CHRIS TUCKER- Do you understand the words comin' out of my mouth? I say, I hear that President Bush wants to make Peurto Rico a steak! You can't do that! Because next they'll want a potato! And a salad bar! And before you know it, they'll want popcorn! It's outrageous! It's-
[Quistis] Heywood, President Bush wants to make Peurto Rico a STATE. Not a STEAK, STATE.
[Reno] Oh. Nevermind.
[Quistis] Please Yevon, take me now. Next up is the sports commentary with Jeniffer Blopez! Jeniffer?
[Yuna] -Subtitle: Jeniffer Lopez issues demands- Now listen up! In today's world of sports, you've gotta be tough! You gotta be mean! And to make sure you are, I'm gonna sue you for ten million dollars if you have to fix a wedge in baseball! Twenty million if you fumble a football! Thirty million if you get a penalty in Hockey! And I'm gonna sue you for a hundred billion kajillion zillion dollars if you ask me to wear that green dress one more time! Back to you! -Hmphs, crosses arms and blows hair out of face-
[Quistis] Try de-caf, Blopez. And moving on to the weekend weather, it's our weather expert, Fernando Martinez! Fernando?
[Jecht] -SUBTITLE: Fernando Martinez- *In fake Latin Lisp* For this weekend, it's going to start out rainy, which makes it perfect for a romantic walk in the rain, instead of having to say to your pretty lady, 'You may have to get out and push'. Drew, if you can explain why I would cut your throat if you made a foxy lady do that, I will give you a big, big, kiss, like I give a woman. But I am not going to give you a big kiss, like a kiss like I give a woman, or even a donkey, because, because you do not know.
[Drew] Well...I uh, I wasn't really up for kissing on air.
[Jecht] Why not, Drew? Am I not attractive? Am I not irrestistible?
[Quistis] -Really fast- ThatsAllWeHaveForFifteyNineMinutesJoinUsNextDayForAllTheTopStoriesGoodnight!
[Drew] -Rings buzzer, ends game- That was interresting. Jecht can have a thousand points for wanting to kiss me. Let's move on to Scenes from a Hat! This is also for all four of you. What we have is scenes suggested by random people that Beretta ran into, he wrote them down, and put them into this hat. -Pulls out army helmet- and I get these guys to act them out one at a time, starting with:
"Rejected Final Fantasy Fanfic ideas." ( Go ahead and steal them if you're that bored o_o )
-Jecht walks up-
[Jecht] You've hit Puberty, Tidus Brown!
-Quistis walks up-
[Quistis] Hotpants and Guns - The Yuna Story.
-Yuna glares at Quistis, then walks up-
[Yuna] Quistis and the Whip Fettish!
-Yuna sticks tongue out at Quistis. Reno walks up-
[Reno] How To Be a Lazy-Assed Turk Like Me and Get Paid For It.
"Little-Known facts about Zidane"
-Jecht walks up-
[Jecht] -Pretending to be Zidane - IQ drops about a kazillion points- As Garnet stood in her silk evening gown, I realized at that moment, that the three dollars I had spent on wine would not go to waste!
-Quistis walks up-
[Quistis] -Also pretends to be Zidane- It's not that I minded all the bashing Drew gave me early on in the season. I mean, sometimes it is hard to tell myself if I'm a guy or not. And then I thought to myself, 'What if I was a homosexual? What if?'
"Unlikely Race Horse names"
-Reno walks up-
[Reno] -Shouting- COME ON "NO LEGS"! COME ON!
-Yuna walks up-
[Yuna] Go "Gonna be Glue!" Go "Gonna be Glue!"
-Jecht walks up-
[Jecht] Coming up on the outside it's "Coming up on the Outside" and nose by a nose it's "Nose by a Nose" and coming up on the outside it's "Nose by a nose" and nose by a nose it's "Coming up on the Outside"...
"Bad times to say 'I don't care' to her-
-Yuna and Reno walk up-
[Yuna] I'm gonna name him Reno, and he'll have your eyes, and your hair...
[Reno] Whatever! -Walks off-
-Jecht walks up-
[Jecht] -Turns on imaginary TV set- Yeah, I love you too.
[Drew] Scenes from Jecht's real life...
-Jecht glares-
"People you Wish Would Just Shut Up"
-Jecht walks up again-
[Jecht] People you Wish Would Just shut up
-Laughter, Quistis and Reno walks up-
[Reno] -Imitating Wakka- You like Yuna, eh?
[Quistis] -Imitating Tidus's voice- Well, uh...
[Reno] -Still as Wakka- Don't gimmie' that shit, I know that look you gave her ass.
[Drew] -Buzzes- Hey, we'll come back with more FF: Whose Line is it Anyway, right after this! -Tosses army hat, accidently knocks over camera- Oh S&!#!
[Yuna] What was that?
[Reno] A camera fell over.
[Drew] Oh S^@$!