A half-emptied bottle in his hand Judas drags himself back onto stage.
Gliding down to the ground he lets his tear-swollen eyes, burning signs of
a mind trapped in dark thoughts, wander into the nowhere, and so he doesn`t
notice Peter and Jacobus lay the table for their last supper; doesn`t
notice Simon come back on stage, eying him warily. He doesn`t even look up
when Jesus steps onto stage, his golden locks flowing down upon a long
white dress. An air of unearthy peace surrounds him, as he smiles warmly at
the two truthfully devoted disciples, and only the unstable flicker in his
sky-coloured eyes reveals a faint sign of restlessness, as Judas would see,
if he raised his head. But he just sits on the ground holding the bottle in
his hand and looks at the floor. And so he doesn`t even notice the slim
figure of a woman approaching him carefully. Stopping in a distance she
extends her hand pleadingly. "Judas." Her voice is weary with pain and
grief.
Judas raises his head and when his look falls upon long black hair, his
eyes darken. "Leave me be." He sais quietly not having the strength to
raise his voice.
"Judas, darling, can`t we go home? I don`t like this play anymore. It
frightens me."
When Judas looks at her more closely, he sees mild insanity gleam in her
black eyes, born by an unbearable anguish. A few hours ago he would have
felt compassion for her, a few hours ago he would have felt rage about her
betrayal, a few hours ago he would have felt something, a few hours ago he
still had a heart. Now it had turned to stone lying heavily in his breast
and his tears had frozen to ice, pricking in the sore sockets of his eyes.
"Luzi, I know all. Jesus told me."
Luzi startles back as if she had hit an invisible wall. The soft madness
disappears completely from her eyes. "Didn`t we have a good time?"
Judas bores his brown eyes into her black. "You tricked me."
"You really love her." Tears glisten in her eyes, and when Judas nodds,
suddenly a familiar glimmer of aggressivity flares up in her eyes. "I hate
her."
"I know." Judas sais quietly, and his look wanders into the distance again.
Knowing she won`t get through to him anymore, Luzi turns round and returns
to her seat.
"Where is she?" Jesus asks curtly. "Olivia?" Judas snorts briefly. "So your two lackeys didn`t find her? She won`t come to late to your last supper, will she?" he smirks stiffly. "But maybe she isn`t thirsty or hungry, maybe she doesn`t value neither your blood nor your body." "You`re drunk." Jesus looks disapprovingly down on him. "Not half as much as I want to be." Judas lifts the bottle. "Cheers." He takes a big gulp, smirking at Jesus, who turns his head away in disgust. "A toast to true friends."
LOOK AT ALL MY TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS SINKING IN A GENTLE POOL OF WINE DON`T DISTURB ME NOW I CAN SEE THE ANSWER TILL THIS EVENING IS THIS MORNING LIFE IS FINE ALWAYS HOPED THAT I`D BE AN APOSTTLE KNEW THAT I WOULD MAKE IT IF I TRIED THEN WHEN WE RETIRE WE CAN WRITE THE GOSPELS SO THEY`LL STILL TALK ABOUT US WHEN WE`VE DIED Neither of them notice Simon coming closer. He steps towards Jesus his dazzling blue eyes beaming brightly. "Jesus, do you come?" Jesus takes his eyes off Judas and turn around. "Of course." He taughtens his shoulders and strides rather rigidly towards the table. "Do you come, too?" Simon turns to Judas watching him get up and lays his hands around his shoulders. "And be careful what you say to Jesus. Luzi isn`t the worst that could happen to Olivia." He whispers. Judas shakes his hand off and without looking at Simon he walks towards the table sitting down and drowning in brooding again. Jesus, fully aware of the role he has to play, stands in front of the table and pours red sparkling wine into a precious goblet. THE END IS JUST A LITTLE HARDER WHEN BROUGHT ABOUT BY FRIENDS. As if muffled by a veil of thick mist the words come through to Judas and resound hollowly inside his mind. A huge frown grows on his forehead as he lifts his hand to his mouth as if he wanted to repress the words his tongue yearns to speak. Jesus, if you only knew, what you have done. I never wanted to betray you and still don`t want to, but I have no choice. Shall I let Olivia die? Shall I make her suffer to save a man who called himself my friend and betrayed me, condemned me to eternal damnation without second thought? I cannot save you both and there`s far too much on stake for her. He thinks of all the time Jesus had stolen him, of the feelings of guilt he had felt when he thought of his betrayal, of the sadness he felt when he thought of Mary. How much he had missed her, everyday in the last 2000 years. How much he had wished it had been her eyes looking to the bottom of his soul, her arms wrapping around his neck, her lips touching his so passionately, her voice whispering tender words of love. How much he had wished to see her again, to hold her close just once, knowing this could never happen, for she was in heaven, and he in hell. And Jesus had known, he had known all the time, and he had taken care that they would be seperated forever
FOR ALL YOU CARE THIS WINE COULD BE MY BLOOD FOR ALL YOU CARE THIS BREAD COULD BE MY BODY THE END THIS IS MY BLOOD YOU DRINK THIS IS MY BODY YOU EAT IF YOU WOULD REMEMBER ME The words echoe in Judas` mind, scoffing him. She wouldn`t remember. She would return to earth and when she would die, when Olivia would die, Mary would return to heaven, and she would never know, she would never know how descipably Jesus had betrayed them both and he couldn´t tell her, he would never see her again. His features hardens and a cold expression appears in is eyes. Jesus deserves it. He stares with tear-swollen eyes into the nowwhere, noticing nothing but the dark path that`s lying before him, the path he has to walk down again, this time knowing where it will lead them to. But there`s nothing he can do, he has do do it. And Jesus deserves it. He repeats in his mind, clinging to this thought desperately, but still it doesn`t feel right, still he feels the heavy burden of guilt he`s gonna load upon his shoulders, still he feels the desperation of a deed he knows is wrong and yet he can´t ommit it; throwing Jesus towards his fate he`ll plunge into darkness again.
"Where is she?" Jesus asks curtly. "Olivia?" Judas snorts briefly. "So your two lackeys didn`t find her? She won`t come to late to your last supper, will she?" he smirks stiffly. "But maybe she isn`t thirsty or hungry, maybe she doesn`t value neither your blood nor your body." "You`re drunk." Jesus looks disapprovingly down on him. "Not half as much as I want to be." Judas lifts the bottle. "Cheers." He takes a big gulp, smirking at Jesus, who turns his head away in disgust. "A toast to true friends."
LOOK AT ALL MY TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS SINKING IN A GENTLE POOL OF WINE DON`T DISTURB ME NOW I CAN SEE THE ANSWER TILL THIS EVENING IS THIS MORNING LIFE IS FINE ALWAYS HOPED THAT I`D BE AN APOSTTLE KNEW THAT I WOULD MAKE IT IF I TRIED THEN WHEN WE RETIRE WE CAN WRITE THE GOSPELS SO THEY`LL STILL TALK ABOUT US WHEN WE`VE DIED Neither of them notice Simon coming closer. He steps towards Jesus his dazzling blue eyes beaming brightly. "Jesus, do you come?" Jesus takes his eyes off Judas and turn around. "Of course." He taughtens his shoulders and strides rather rigidly towards the table. "Do you come, too?" Simon turns to Judas watching him get up and lays his hands around his shoulders. "And be careful what you say to Jesus. Luzi isn`t the worst that could happen to Olivia." He whispers. Judas shakes his hand off and without looking at Simon he walks towards the table sitting down and drowning in brooding again. Jesus, fully aware of the role he has to play, stands in front of the table and pours red sparkling wine into a precious goblet. THE END IS JUST A LITTLE HARDER WHEN BROUGHT ABOUT BY FRIENDS. As if muffled by a veil of thick mist the words come through to Judas and resound hollowly inside his mind. A huge frown grows on his forehead as he lifts his hand to his mouth as if he wanted to repress the words his tongue yearns to speak. Jesus, if you only knew, what you have done. I never wanted to betray you and still don`t want to, but I have no choice. Shall I let Olivia die? Shall I make her suffer to save a man who called himself my friend and betrayed me, condemned me to eternal damnation without second thought? I cannot save you both and there`s far too much on stake for her. He thinks of all the time Jesus had stolen him, of the feelings of guilt he had felt when he thought of his betrayal, of the sadness he felt when he thought of Mary. How much he had missed her, everyday in the last 2000 years. How much he had wished it had been her eyes looking to the bottom of his soul, her arms wrapping around his neck, her lips touching his so passionately, her voice whispering tender words of love. How much he had wished to see her again, to hold her close just once, knowing this could never happen, for she was in heaven, and he in hell. And Jesus had known, he had known all the time, and he had taken care that they would be seperated forever
FOR ALL YOU CARE THIS WINE COULD BE MY BLOOD FOR ALL YOU CARE THIS BREAD COULD BE MY BODY THE END THIS IS MY BLOOD YOU DRINK THIS IS MY BODY YOU EAT IF YOU WOULD REMEMBER ME The words echoe in Judas` mind, scoffing him. She wouldn`t remember. She would return to earth and when she would die, when Olivia would die, Mary would return to heaven, and she would never know, she would never know how descipably Jesus had betrayed them both and he couldn´t tell her, he would never see her again. His features hardens and a cold expression appears in is eyes. Jesus deserves it. He stares with tear-swollen eyes into the nowwhere, noticing nothing but the dark path that`s lying before him, the path he has to walk down again, this time knowing where it will lead them to. But there`s nothing he can do, he has do do it. And Jesus deserves it. He repeats in his mind, clinging to this thought desperately, but still it doesn`t feel right, still he feels the heavy burden of guilt he`s gonna load upon his shoulders, still he feels the desperation of a deed he knows is wrong and yet he can´t ommit it; throwing Jesus towards his fate he`ll plunge into darkness again.