Disclaimer: The characters, items, etc. of Beyblade are not mine. These things were used without permission, but…I'm just borrowing them for a little while for my own twisted and demented purposes. So don't you dare sue me, just sue my evil twin. oO' I made this fic for entertainment only, and not for making money.
Drowning
By Shinzui
Where... where am I?
The White Tiger opened his eyes, and he found himself staring at a white ceiling. Immediately, he knew where he was - the hospital. He didn't like the hospital - he never liked it. He needed to get out of here. Fast. But how? His thoughts were disrupted when the door creaked open, and it made him jump. Then images of two men crashed down on him quickly, making him cringe in fear. He averted his gaze from the door and he gasped slightly when a cheerful voice was heard.
"Ah! Konbawa, Rei! You're finally awake!" A nurse stated, much to Rei's relief. She took out her pen and wrote something on the papers she brought with her.
"How long had I been out cold?" Rei asked. The fear he felt a while ago was still in him. It made him feel so vulnerable, so weak...
"Three days."
The White Tiger choked, "Nani?! Three days?!"
The nurse blinked once then twice, before she nodded. "Yeah... four days if you count this day." She paused for a moment, suddenly remembering something. "Oh, right! Your friends visited you every day. Especially the one named Kai, he was very concerned..."
Concerned? Him? But why me...?
"...I don't know why, but maybe it's because he's the team leader of your team," The nurse continued.
"I see," Rei replied sadly, trying his best to hide his disappointed tone.
He was such an idiot. His weak heart fooled him once again. He knew that Kai would never like him, let alone love him. He knew that Kai despises weaklings. The Red Phoenix craved perfection and power, both of which are out of the White Tiger's reach.
He suddenly realized something else. "Wait...! Did you tell them about...?" Rei trailed off, not wanting to say the words.
The nurse's smile faded away, "No, we didn't. Don't worry about it. Anyways, I'll be off then. I'm pretty sure that Kai would be here soon - he usually comes at this time of the night, anyway," With that, the nurse bid farewell and left.
Alone... didn't want to... don't... nothing can... can...
"Rei?"
The White Tiger felt a suddenh chil go up and down his spine as soon as he heard that firm and deep voice - Kai. Amber-colored orbs met the gaze of fiery scarlet ones.
"I'm so glad..." The Red Phoenix sad down beside the White Tiger's bed, staring deep into those tiger-like eyes. "We were so worried..."
"Worried? You? Yeah, right..." Rei sneered, making Kai look at him, confused.
"You mean you don't believe me...?"
"In a word, yes."
"What? Is it because you still think of me as an emotionless bastard? Is that it? Huh?!" Kai could feel the anger deep inside of him, waiting to be released.
"Uh-huh..."
"What happened to you? You've changed... in a few days, to top it all off!"
"Why does it matter to you?" The White Tiger asked, closing his eyes to calm himself down.
The Red Phoenix stood up and growled silently. "What is up with you?" All I try to do here is find out what's wrong and then you're blowing up on me like that. God! Why did I even bother caring in the first place?!" He shook his head and was about to walk out the door when he suddenly turned around. "Oh yeah, don't expect me to come back here again. Have fun spending the rest of your two weeks here alone!" With one last glare, he left... left the White Tiger alone, all alone.
Kai stormed down the hallway and out the doors of the hospital, feeling his blood boil with anger and hatred. That was the first time he actually felt worried and then Rei's attitude just had to appear! He glared at anyone who dared look at him, his piercing crimson eyes was burning with fury. He snapped his gaze back to what's ahead of him, growling angrily to himself. "Kutabacchimae, Rei!!!" He cried out, not caring that people around him were staring. He suddenly felt a droplet of water fall down on his face, making him curse yet again.
Rain. It was raining.
Not again! Damn it! This is really NOT my day!
Shaking his head to clear out his thoughts, he began to pick up speed until he was running. He tried to hide himself from the rain, but it was useless. "Darn it all."
I could've been inside the hotel, minding my own business. But noooo, I just had to visit Rei again and now I'm out here again! Grrr...
He ran both hands through his soaked hair as he dashed for the entrance to the hotel. He didn't care that he was wet, he just sauntered over to the elevator and nearly punched the wall. He clenched his fists until his knuckles were tight. He let out a frustrated growl, before the elevator doors opened. He walked towards his hotel room, the one he shared with you-know-who, and he slammed the door shut.
I tried to be nice... I tried to be a friend...
Chikushou!!!
The Red Phoenix angrily pummeled his fist on his bed, taking in deep breathes. After a few minutes, he calmed down and then he sat down. "Must keep my emotions in check... they might lead to my own destruction..." He got up and went to get some dry clothes. He mumbled something under his breath, and he disappeared inside the bathroom.
The White Tiger at the ceiling for no apparent reason, and his eyes were dark and gloomy. He had been dead silent the moment the Red Phoenix left. He didn't know how long he stayed like that in his room. It could have been hours. It could have been minutes. He didn't know. Kai was gone - was it minutes or hours ago?
He gazed blankly at the clock on the wall and noticed that an hour and a half had passed since Kai left him. His gaze wandered over to his window, eyes widening as he saw dark clouds... tiny drops of water... Rain. He tried desperately to make himself believe that yesterday didn't exist.
His world felt gray and cold, so... lonely. He sighed softly, closing his eyes slowly. His problems momentarily forgotten... only peace and solace remained. His face looked tranquil as he fell into a deep slumber. But suddenly, he stirred around his sleep for a little while, and then he suddenly stopped. His face looked horrified as if he was having a nightmare - and he was.
"No... Leave me alone!" The White Tiger pleaded, backing up slightly towards an alley wall. He glanced behind his shoulder, noticing that it was a dead end and then he stared at the duo in front of him. Both of them had this lustful looks in their eyes, and it struck fear in the White Tiger's heart.
His heart was pounding wildly because he knew what would happen next. He already knew what those strangers want from him... and there was no way out.
No... please don't...
Rei shut his eyes closed, flincing slightly as he heard them approach slowly. He backed up even further to the wall, gasping for air. He was cornered like a beast, and he knew that sooner or later it would happen...
The taller of the two men grabbed his shoulder, shoving him hard on the ground. The other one merely watched in amusement as the White Tiger tried to struggle free out of the man's grasp. The man on top of him smiled wickedly, and then he pulled Rei into a deep kiss, his tongue forcing it's way down the boy's mouth.
When the man pulled away for air, the White Tiger was about to shout when the other man placed his hand on top of Rei's mouth. "Nobody can hear you scream."
Nobody can hear me scream...
The White Tiger suddenly bolted upright in his bed, his eyes wide with fear and terror. He was breathing hard, and sweat was trickling down his forehead. He started to shiver violently, making the boy wrap his arms around himself protectively, silently trying to calm himself down. His efforts were in vain, and little did he know - tears started to make their way down his face. He curled within himself, his body shaking with undying sobs. Every moment invited pain, but he blinded himself to it.
He wished that somebody was there to comfort him... that somebody was there beside him, telling him that things would be alright. But no... there wasn't anybody who would do that for him. He was so stupid to push away the Red Phoenix, but maybe that was for the best. Yes, it was better if his friends didn't know, it was better if they weren't fussing all over him. He didn't want that, he wanted them to continue on normally with their lives while he picks up the pieces of his broken life.
Nobody deserves to know the pain I had gone through... nobody... except me...
He raised his head, staring off into space. His eyes were blank and open in his head; he already stopped crying. Any signs of life vanished into thin air, and it looks like it would be impossible for him to get back up again. "This is pathetic. I'm the one who's supposed to have the strongest spirit and determination in my team... yet, it looks like I'm the one who gave up so easily," He mumbled to himself.
"Ooi! Kai! Shouldn't we go visit Rei today? Y'know? Because today is the day he gets out of the hospital!" The Blue Dragon pointed out, nibbling on a piece of waffle. He blinked rapidly, gaze locked on his team leader. "Well?"
"I gotta agree with Tyson, Kai. Besides, it might cheer Rei up a little if you're with us," The Tortoise added, waving his fork absentmindedly.
"And why would he need cheering up? Isn't he always happy?" The Red Phoenix snorted, still angry about what happened between him and the White Tiger.
"Well... he wasn't happy for the past few days. Ever since you stopped visiting him, that is. And I just thought that--"
"I'm not going and that's final," Kai stood up and walked out of the cafeteria.
The rest of the BladeBreakers sighed in defeat, and all of them suddenly lost their appetite. Even Tyson, miraculously. They sighed again all at once, before Tyson mumbled about going now. Kenny and Max shrugged their shoulders and followed the dark blue-haired boy out of the hotel.
He was having yet another nightmare...
"NO! Leave me alone...!" The White Tiger snapped his eyes open, bolting upright in the process. He shivered at a brief memory that crossed his mind, and tears started to well up in his eyes - again. He hated it, hated the fact that he cried most of time - especially after waking up from the same old nightmare. He felt so weak, so... pitifully pathetic. He whimpered as he pressed his eyes closed, but that didn't stop the painful memories from coming back.
"No..."
'Don't worry, little boy... you'll enjoy this... we know you want it.'
"I never wanted this, I never did!" He held his head in his hands, pushing the images away. Although they still came back to haunt him even more.
"REI! How are ya buddy?" The door swung open as the Blue Dragon went inside, slightly making Rei jump. "The others are downstairs - waiting for both of us to go down!" He said cheerfully, grinning as usual.
The White Tiger managed to form a weak - yet strained - smile. He attempted to stand up, but he fell back down on his bed when the pain moved throughout his body. He groaned, unintentionally, and winced.
"Whoa! Easy there, Rei! Are you okay?" Tyson asked, he had his midnight blue eyes fixed on Rei.
"Yeah, just a little sore from sleeping on my back for the whole time I was here," Rei lied as he grinned sheepishly to hide his pain. He had been thinking for the past few days, he would hide his pain from the others - he would never let them know, not now ever. That was easy enough... right?
"Ah, I see. Well? Shall we go then? The doctor told me that you can leave whenever you want, besides - we still hafta get on with our plans!" The Blue Dragon stated, extending out a hand.
"Hai, hai!" The White Tiger faked a laugh, reaching out to grasp Tyson's offered hand. He pulled himself up and winced slightly at the pain, but he had to do this. He grabbed his bandana and tied it around his forehead, straightening out any wrinkles on his clothes. When that was done, he slowly placed his black fingerless gloves back on his hands, and then he sighed. "Well, I'm done."
"Okie dokie!" Tyson moved over the place Rei's right hand around his shoulders, making the raven-haired teenager look at him in confusion. "What? I just don't want my friend to get injured again!"
"Seriously, Tyson... I can take care of myself!"
"Not a chance, dude. I'm gonna carry ya all the way down! Just try and stop me!" The dark blue-haired boy chuckled as he began to half-drag Rei out of his hospital room. He personally thought that someone else should be here instead of him - and that someone was a certain stoic blader who cared at first, but suddenly lost his emotions again.
"Hey Rei..." The Blue Dragon started as both of them walked inside the elevator. "What happened between you and Kai?"
The White Tiger turned his head away, avoiding looking at those worried dark blue pools. He wasn't really comfortable talking about this. "I don't want to talk about it." He said, not bothering a more substantial answer.
"Whatever you say, buddy. But you have to tell someone soon," said Tyson, going out of the elevator to meet up with the Chief and Max.
"There's nothing to talk about!" Rei snapped irritably.
The Blue Dragon blinked at Rei's snappy attitude, before muttering a small "Fine." He waved his hand to get Max and Kenny's attention, and soon enough - both bladers were heading straight for them.
"Heya Rei! How are ya feeling?" The Tortoise asked, wearing his trademark 'puppy' smile.
"I'm fine, Max... just fine."
"That's good then! Well, let's head out, shall we? Kai's probably annoyed by now," Kenny pointed out, receiving nods from everybody - everybody, except the White Tiger. "Rei?"
The raven-haired teenager snapped out of his thoughts, "Ah... yeah, sure." He suddenly felt three pairs of eyes staring at him, and it made him feel uncomfortable. "W-what?"
"Something's wrong, something's bothering you - now talk. Kai always had this feeling that the doctors weren't telling him - us - the truth about what happened to you."
The White Tiger blinked. How could he tell them, how would they react if they knew what he had done, what had been done to him? He couldn't tell, wouldn't tell. No one would ever know, and he could continue with his life, not having to worry about how the others saw him. "It's nothing."
"Really now, Rei? You think we're that stupid, huh?" The Blue Dragon asked, but the White Tiger remained silent. "Well, if you really don't wanna spill - then fine, be that way. Your problem will be bottled up inside your heart, and when you couldn't take it anymore - you'll do something drastic just so you could let it all out."
"You have friends, Rei, friends who have feelings - and I for one, would be very, very traumatized if you never opened your eyes again. Always remember that," Tyson added, keeping a stern look on his face the whole time.
Rei stared at his friends, dumbfounded. His mind was racing at hyper speed - should he? Should he tell them? He didn't know. He looked away and shut his eyes closed. "I don't need your help! I don't need anybody's help!!" With that, he ran. He ran away from his team mates despite their cries for him to come back.
He couldn't help it. He didn't want them to care, he doesn't want them to worry about him. It was his fault that he was hurting, and he wouldn't let anybody carry his own burden. He needed to - he had to solve this problem by himself.
He didn't know where to go. He wanted to-
He froze.
For as he turned around the corner of a street, there they were - the originators of his pain, the attackers who had taken not only his body, but his soul as well. There, in front of him, were the same men he had met two weeks ago.
Fear and panic and absolute terror rushed through him. "Muhn..." He cried weakly, looking for an exit.
"Well, well. It's so nice to see you again," The tall one said, his eyes gleaming evilly.
"Yeah, bro. Looks like this cutey is up for round two," The smaller one said, grinning mischievously.
The White Tiger couldn't tell how terrified he was, that he was paralyzed with fear. He was a tiger, he should be fighting back, he should have found a way out of this. But he couldn't move a muscle, couldn't lift a finger. He suddenly perked up when he heard his friends' voices, calling out his name.
I could scream... then Tyson and the others would come here...
He found comfort in this thought until he had another one.
I can't scream... I can't find my voice... I don't know where my voice is...
The two strangers came close to Rei's frozen body, pushing him towards an alley. "We're gonna have lots of fun this time. Y'know? We missed you... missed you so much that we can't go easy on you this time."
Rei found himself frozen with terror to the floor, and his eyes widened when he saw his friends pass by the alley without even noticing him. Didn't they see him? Didn't they care that he was about to get broken yet again? Didn't they-
"L-leave m-m-me alone," He whispered, his heart racing in panic.
"I don't think so."
Before the White Tiger could do anything, something collided with his head. He fell to his knees. He fought against the darkness that seeped into his mind, knowing that if he lost consciousness those strangers would have him again. But try as he might, the darkness overtook him. He slipped away, the last of the light fading, as he fell to his side. Kai help me, he thought, as everything else disappeared.
Rei lay on the cold hard floor. His body shivered as the coldness seeped into every pore of his bare body. He pushed himself off the floor, pulling his knees to his chest in an attempt to keep warm. His ribs ached at the movement, his head throbbed in pain, but he was just so cold. It happened again, it really happened again.
But he didn't cry...
Looking around blankly, he found a pile of his discarded clothes beside him. He moved dully to get dressed again. He mobed mechanically, like he was dreaming - like in fact, this had all been some terrible nightmare. But it wasn't. It was real. The pain was real, the guys were real, everything was real.
It was nighttime already. The moon was settled in her court, surrounded by billions of sparkly diamonds of light. Rei didn't know how long he had been there, but he didn't care. Tying his bandana back on and fixing his hair in a low ponytail, he lowered his head. His bangs covered his eyes, hiding them from the rest of the world. He walked slowly, and not a mere grunt of sigh was heard from him. Just silence. Usually, something bad happens after this - something really bad. The calm before the storm...
He found his way back to the hotel, found out that his comrades were out somewhere - including him - and found his way to the bathroom. He cleaned himself thoroughly all over, but he couldn't rid of the feeling of dirtiness. "Body broken, soul tainted... I am nothing." He went out of the shower and put on his darkest shirt and pyjamas and went straight to bed.
Sometime later - he stood up and walked over to his room's balcony. His hands gripped the railings and he looked down casually. He was about to swing his right leg over the railings when a hand clamped down on his shoulder. This made him jump and almost fall down, but a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist, preventing him from falling off.
"Rei! What are you doing?! You could've died!!" There was fear and panic in the Red Phoenix's voice, something that he doesn't show off a lot. He had never been more scared in his life; he almost lost a team mate, a friend!
"Body broken, soul tainted... I am nothing. Don't bother, don't care... I want to die," The White Tiger mumbled in a monotone voice. He almost sounded like a robot!
"Nani? What are you talking about, Rei?" Kai asked, pulling his comrade back inside. He turned his friend around so that they were facing each other, his arms still around Rei's waist. He had no clue why he was acting like this; he was supposed to be a few ways away from Rei, not a few inches. Bah... whatever.
"..." The White Tiger opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out. With this, he shrugged his shoulders and what little flame he had in his amber eyes vanished.
"Rei?" The Red Phoenix sighed and he eventually shrugged, indicating that Rei should get back to bed. Rei did so, crawling under the covers. "You're really pale. Will you be all right?"
The White Tiger swallowed and nodded, knowing with a sinking feeling that he was drowning, and that he wouldn't be all right tonight or tomorrow or the day after...
Shinzui's Rolling Rant: And zeh second chappie is done! What do ya think of it? Please tell me - and it would be a great honour to hear your thoughts and comments! ^^ The next chappie would be fun to write - whee! Anyways, I'll get workin' on it right away. Ja!