Note for my "Usual Readers": If you don't know Cal or Bay, don't worry, they are the nicknames for a few of my guy friends I hang out with a school. Strange nicknames, huh? I hang out with strange people! The mention of Tidus is not from FFX, but that is the nickname I gave my boyfriend that is soon maybe I don't know if he will be or not, but I just put him in to make fun of him!!!! Hehehehehe...
anyway, disclaimers like I don't own Christmas, Santa, Rudolph, or trees, (despite what the story says) I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Or SSBM, tragically.... poor Marth! Anyway, don't own any hot springs... T_T I wish I owned some hot bishonen... and a hot spring! HELLO GUY SIDE OF PLANET TENREI! ^________________________________^
A Christmas Story, Shinko Style
by Shinko, of course
Not everyone was happy, but it was sure to change when Shinko came over. Everyone knew that she had planned an extravaganza, which included a lot of anime people! ^_^!
Cal (putting his shield in a nearby corner): So you're saying that everyone under the Japanese sun will be here?
Bay (chomping on all the cookies): No, just the anime sun. There are so many people in Japan, and you know that they all won't fit inside this room.
(The door opens)
Guy: Hello? Is this the place?
Cal (picking up his shield incase that guy's an invader): It depends on what you are looking for.
Guy: Well, I know the sound of that voice anywhere. As much as Shinko talks about you, I bet you're Cal.
Cal: Yes, that fact is true.
Guy: Do you still not know who I am?
Bay (now eating the cake): That's Seto Kaiba.
Seto: 'bout damn time. Someone knows the biggest face in Duel Monsters history!
(door opens again)
Girl: This has got to be it.
Cal: That voice.....
Girl: Seto, don't tell me you're planning to run away.
Seto: Millennia!
Millennia: What? I mean when Shinko gets here you might want to run, but it might not go over that well.
Gene Starwind: And she barely has a crush on me!
Seto: Hmmm..... anyone want to duel?
Millennia: I'll be glad to!
(dueling arena pops up out of no where)
Gene: Are you sure that you want to, Seto? I heard she has some rare cards that no one ever heard of before!
Cal: I still don't know how to play.
Gene: Shinko taught me! ^_^!
Millennia: All right, Seto! Prepare for the ultimate encounter!
Bay: Oh, well..... (looks around to find more food.) Go Seto!
(Seto and Millennia draw their five card hand)
Seto: All right. Millennia, I'll give you first move.
Millennia: Oh shoot. Well, I summon the WINGS OF VALMAR! With attack points at 3500 and defense points at 3000, it'll cream all your monsters, including your stupid Ultimate Dragon!
Seto (draws a card): Hmm..... you are right, but can it compete with Regaiki, which destroys all opposing monsters? I play Regaiki!! Then, I'll put a card face down in defense mode.
Millennia: CRAP! All right then, check this out! I call upon the EYE OF VALMAR! And it's a force not to be messed with! 2000/2500 It has an effect too!
Seto: The Eye of Valmar? Since when were these Duel Monsters? I don't get it! Did you do something for Pegasus?
(Pegasus pops up at the door)
Pegasus: Actually, Kaiba-kun, Millennia knew that it was time to get into something else, and when I saw her, I couldn't resist. Taking all the parts of Valmar from her and making them cards using my Millennium Eye was quite easy!
Seto: Pegasus! I bet you did it to see her.... PRODUCTS!
Shinko: What does this have to do with Christmas? (walks in and looks at Pegasus.) You ruined my story!
Pegasus: Shinko-Chan! I didn't expect to see you here!
Shinko: This is my party. Not a dueling contest! (looks around and sees Seto) SETO!!!!! YOU CAME!!!!
Seto: I had to. I like free food!
Shinko: Who doesn't?
Bay: Hey, Shinko.
Shinko: Sup? I can't believe you people! This is for Christmas, not to make yourself look greater than those around you! Besides, I got gifts.
Gene: Did you get me a Melphina doll?
Shinko: (mocking him) a Melphina doll? HA!
Sephiroth: I shall kill you!
(Sephy falls from the ceiling and lands on his face)
Shinko: Sephy? You okay?
Gene: I think he's fine.
Shinko: Well, I know that you lazy bums don't do anything around here, but here goes. I need you to decorate, clean, cook, and then party, after that you take all the decorations down, clean and put all the dishes away. Seto, you come with me!
Seto: What?! OH NO!!! (runs away in fear)
Shinko (changes into her Yami): YO!!! Where is Bakura?
Pegasus: I see you have used your Millennium item to transform! Shinko-Chan, I was wondering if you have seen that push over boyfriend of yours?
Shinko: You mean Tidus-Baka?
Pegasus: Yes, him. Have you chatted with his Yami?
Yami Shinko: I haven't talked with that dumb ass in so long. Stupid Christmas break. Anyway, where is Bakura?
(Bakura walks in the room)
Bakura: I'm here, sorry I'm late.
Sephiroth: Someone to kill YAY
Yami Shinko: He is NOT someone to kill!
Sephiroth: Why do you not want me to kill him?
Yami Shinko: 'Cause I love my Bakura.
Pegasus: Humph. stupid Yami Bakura gets all the girls.
Bakura: No, I'm the sweetie pie. I get them. My Yami is a dog! He hovers over girls like he's gonna die tomorrow!
Yami Shinko: Like that's bad?!
Seto: Yami Shinko, you're like.... a... slu....
(Bakura changes into Yami Bakura)
Yami Bakura: You wanna say that again?
Seto: GRRR! I'll use the Millennium Bowtie and get my Yami!
(Changes to *my* version of his Yami)
Y. Seto: Oh.... yeah.... I like KILLING!!
Sephy: Me too!
Yami Bakura: Dear Shinko, let us depart.
Yami Shinko: But, it's a party! Free food!
Cal: True.
Y. Bakura: Well, then, let's have a party. Then me and you will have to chat, Shinko.
Tidus walks in.
Tidus: I'm LATE!! SUMIMASEN!
Yami Shinko: No one cares.
Tidus: YAMI SHINKO!! YOU CAME!!
Yami Shinko: Yes, Tidus Baka.
Y. Bakura: Heh heh heh. Now you're a stupid Baka, baka.
Cal: So, is this the party?
Y. Shinko (turns back into herself)
Shinko: That was quick... and Y. Bakura what were you doing with your arm around my waist? That's enough! My Yami has the worst in taste.
Y. Bakura: Have yourself a stupid party cause afterwards your Yami and I have an appointment!
Shinko: GRRRRR!! Who wants to decorate the tree?
Tidus: We don't have a tree.
Shinko (looks at the surrounding area): Come to think of it, you're right. Oh well.
Seto: Go out and get one.
Shinko: You been outside lately? damn it's cold.
Pegasus: Why don't we go get one and you work on getting this place ready, hmm?
Cal: Yeah, me and Bay, Pegsy, Seto, Gene, and Y. Bakura can go and get you a tree!
Shinko: Sounds great. I'll get the axe.
(goes and gets the axe and hands it to Y. Bakura)
Y. Bakura: This axe gives me power.
Seto: That's bad.
Millennia: Go on boys and get us a tree.
Shinko: Get a good one. Last year Sephy got me a twig that had no branches and tried to call it a tree.
Sephy: I had too much Egg nog.
Shinko: Who spiked it last year?
Sephy: It had to have been Cloud. He needed a reason to get both Tifa and Aeris in his bed at the same time.
Shinko: O.O!! That's enough of that!
Cal: Want us to drag Tidus with us?
Tidus: I'll melt all the snow. (--it's an inside joke if you don't get it. Sorry, it's a me and him thing)
Shinko: Let him stay, that way I can torture him with the wreath!
Tidus: It gives me a bad rash!! No!! I'll go with them!!
(--another inside joke)
Shinko: Why don't you all go and pick out a tree. I don't need danglers.
Seto: Oh no, Shinko you need someone!
Shinko: Are you volunteering?
Seto: (Gulp) No....
Shinko: THEN GO AND GET US A DAMNED TREE!
Everyone but Shinko goes to get the tree.
Yami Bakura: Hmmm... this axe makes me feel so superior to the rest of the world....
Seto: Not good not good!
Pegsy: REALLY! Oh well...
Millennia: I beat you in a duel.
Seto: You did not.
Gene: I'll get the outlaw star to help carry the thing.
Sephy: Can I kill you now?
Gene: No.
Yami Bakura: Hey, Sephy! Let's go on a killing spree!
Sephy: Last time I did Shinko tried to kill me for not taking her on the adventure.
Y. Bakura: Shinko, eh? I'll invite her after the party!
Sephy: YAY!
Seto: Is that a good tree?
Tidus: A good tree to stick up Cow's ass!
Cal: I'm not a COW (--that's Cal's new trademark)
Marth (dressed as tree salesman) Can I get you a tree?
Y. Bakura: CAN I KILL HIM?
Marth: AHH! NO WAY MAN!
Sephy: Shinko gets the first kill of the season, you know that.
Marth: What kind of people are you?
Sephy: We're normal people and we want a big tree!
(a guy walks onto the scene wearing a lumber jack outfit and cursing something about Pegasus and his wine)
Guy: Hello. I want to cut down a tree.
Y. Bakura: Who made him the cutter-person?
Guy: I'm the cutter guy!
Marth: This is Ralph.
Ralph: Hi!
Guy: I'm Ralph!
(Ralph, the first one is a dog)
Ralph dog: hello ruff
Ralph: Sorry about the confusion, but do you want a tree?
Seto: ...umm.... YEAH! ( sarcastic tone)
Ralph dog: Ruff I'll pee on one for you.
Y. Bakura: I'M KILLIN' THE DOG!
Ralph dog: Ruff? No way ruff!
(a cat walks onto the scene with a bullet hole where it's head should be.)
Cat: Meow.
Ralph dog: Yum! ( chases after the headless cat) RUFF!! RUFF!
Cat: Ah shit! First I walk onto this property and this guy shoots me with his 22 then this dog named the same name as the tree cutter has to come and chase me, Meow. What is the world coming to?
Seto: Like wise, there cat.
Ralph dog: I like cats Ruff
Ralph: I'll get you a tree. Hiccup!
Pegasus: YOU!!! THAT'S WHERE MY WINE WENT YOU THIEF!
Marth: You stole his wine?
Ralph: Hic! No.... I ate it.....
Y. Bakura: This stupid basta....
Seto: BAKURA!
Y. Bakura: He is!
Marth: How do you eat wine?
Pegasus: Wait! There is something wrong with the wine thief tree cutter guy!
Ralph (glowing madly) Hic! I am Yami Ralph and I have come to take Pegsy's wine!
Pegasus: NOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE COME TO LIFE!!!!!!!
Seto: huh? You mean that YOU have a worst nightmare? DAMN I THOUGHT I WAS A WIMP!
Y. Bakura: I will be all of your worst nightmares if you keep up this stupidity! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Y. Ralph: Anyway, you don't know my real name. I am THE ULTIMATE WINE THIEF TREE CUTTER GUY: YAMI YOSHI!!!
Seto: Isn't that Shinko's brother?
Pegasus: There's a new Millennium item and it's coming this way!!!!!
Y. Bakura: OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE MY EYES IT'S A MILLENNIUM GOBLET!
Everyone else: Hahahaha how funny.
Marth: We sell trees.
Sephy: I see that but are you allowed to sell them off of someone else's property?
Marth: Does that matter? I sell trees.
Seto: But this is Kaiba corp. land!
Tidus: I'm a baka!
Sephy: We know that. Stop interrupting Seto and Marth's fight I wanna see some bloodshed.
Seto: On Christmas eve?
Sephy: Yeah.
Marth: You want a tree?
Everyone including Yami Yoshi: YES!
Marth: It'll be one gazillion dollars. Go pick one out.
Sephy: I don't want a tree. How much is it for a twig?
Marth: Five gazillion dollars.
Y. Bakura: I bet Shinko is pissed off cause this is taking so long. Wonder what she's doing?
(Back at Shinko's house)
Shinko is sitting in a hot spring not wearing anything, but nothing bad is showing.
Shinko: Those twerps don't know what they're missing. WOOHOO! I love hot springs....
(Back to the Tree Discovery team)
Y. Bakura: Yup.... I bet she's working so hard getting the house ready.
Sephy: I doubt it.
Seto: MARTH DAMMIT WE WANT A TREE!
Marth: I know but you have to pay first.
Seto: This property belongs to Shinko!!
Marth: Hey, talk to my boss about it. She's up in the big house over there.
Seto: Shinko's your boss?
Marth: No kidding. Millions of people buy trees this time of year from her because here in Japan not many pine trees grow, dumb asses!
Sephy: Hmm... we are in Japan?
Marth: Yeah.
Seto: No we aren't. We are friends of Shinko. Give us a damn tree or else.
Marth: BUT!!!!
Y. Yoshi: Listen, I have a problem with hic your service it sucks! We'll never by a tree from you!!
Y. Bakura: We'll go find a twig somewhere else!
Sephy: HAHAHA we're getting a twig.
Marth: But you can't because in Japan this is the only place to by a pine tree.
Gene: No it isn't.
(Gene pulls out a cell phone and dials a number)
Gene: Hello. Are you Shinko's mom?
Voice: Yup. What is she in trouble?
Gene: No, but there is this guy that is pissing her off because he's charging one gazillion dollars for a pine tree just so we can have Christmas.
Voice: So why doesn't she go buy one at Wal-Mart?
Gene: Hey, thanks! click
Sephy: What she say?
Gene: We're going to Wal-Mart!
Seto: How 'bout I get Kaiba corp. to make one?
Marth: Kaiba corp. can't make trees!
Seto: Oh yeah?
Marth: YEAH! SO BUY A TREE FROM ME!
Y. Yoshi: I'm driving.
Gene: We don't have a car.... but I have the outlaw star.
Y. Yoshi: But I have a compact convertible that doesn't need some naked person in a tube of toothpaste to drive it!
Gene: Well it doesn't need Melphina anymore. We have to go to sub-ether mode fifty million times to get there!
Y. Yoshi: My PIZZA ETHER mode will only take thirty minutes to get to Tokyo Wal-Mart!
Seto: Why don't I call the Blue eyes and he can take us?
Marth: Because the Pokefloats are faster!
Gene: No! The Outlaw Star is the fastest!
Pegasus: I'll use Yoshi's car since it has the stolen wine that belongs to me!
Sephy: I wanna fly there!
Gene: On what?
Sephy: Not my sword but on my chocobo!
Y. Bakura: I ate it for breakfast with Yoshi the other day.
Everyone else: GROSS!
Gene: You knew him?
Y. Bakura: I have to know the Yami of the brother of my bride to be!
Sephy: YOU'RE MARRING SHINKO?! ...and YOU ATE MY CHOCOBO?!
Y. Bakura: Well don't look at me look at Yoshi!
Gene: We weren't looking at you. There's a Lamebrains over there and it's the fastest car ever!
Y. Yoshi: That's MINE!
Everyone else: you liar.
Pegasus: I have a copy cat card so let's use it to copy the wine that Yoshi stole!
Y. Yoshi: No, it's mine!
Sephy: What isn't yours?
Y. Bakura: YOU MADE ME EAT THE CHOCOBO! AND YOU STOLE PEGSY'S WINE AND YOU STEAL CARS!
Y. Yoshi: That I don't do! I don't steal cars! It was mine!
Everyone looks behind them to see a giant sign that reads in big bold not hard to miss letters
MINE, JAPAN
Yami Bakura: actually, it's still Mine.
Everyone else: HAHAHAHA that's the town name!
Marth: Don't you guys need a tree?
Y. Yoshi: No we want twigs and hic hand picked dog poo.
Marth: EWWW! I wanna hit on what ever you were smoking!
Sephy: You smoke?
Y. Bakura: You guys! WE are supposed to be getting a tree for Shinko.
Marth: I thought you wanted twigs!
Gene: We do?
Sephy: Yeah!
Y. Yoshi: Hey, Pegsy. Let's go get some wine.
Pegsy: I'll pay.
Gene: I'M COMING WITH YOU!
Marth: You are a tree hunter and I'm a seller!
Y. Bakura: Hmm.... all right. Pegsy, call Shinko's mom. Ask her where the nearest Wal-mart is.
Marth: There is a Wal-Mart in the forest if you pay me ten gazillion dollars.
Gene: YOU MONEY GRUBBING BITCH!
Marth: No, I am not a dog.
(in the meantime, Pegsy and Y. Yoshi managed to get away to go and get more wine, which Pegsy is paying for.)
(Back at Shinko's house)
Shinko: Wonder where those guys are? I should call Marth and tell him that they are coming and to jack up all the prices.
Ring ring
Marth: Hello?
Shinko: Marthy!
Marth: Don't call me that! Whatjacha need?
Shinko: I was calling to warn you about my friends coming to get a Christmas tree and Pegsy should pay the gazillions of dollars.
Marth: Pegsy left. He went to get wine with your brother.
Shinko: THAT SLEAZY WINE GRUBBING MONSTER! YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO SHOOT HIM WITH ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN!
Marth: Pegsy?
Shinko: NO MY BROTHER! HE STILL OWES MONEY ON THE LAST FIFTY MILLION TREES HE'S BORROWED!
CLICK
Shinko: sleez ball.
(back with the Tree finders)
Sephy: So who was that, Marth?
Marth: Shinko. She's pissed.
Gene: When is she not?
Y. Bakura: Oh!! That woman!!
Seto: I thought that you liked her Yami.
Y. Bakura: Her Yami is the only one that would consider getting with me.
Seto: So you like her Yami?
Y. Bakura: Hell yeah.
Seto: SHE LIKES ME!
Gene: That's enough! Here. I saved up one gazillion dollars in pennies for a tree.
Marth: We don't take Pennies. we take nickels!
Gene: I'm calling Shinko's mom.
Ring ring
Voice: Is that you Gene? Damn what happened you didn't get a tree from Wal-Mart?
Gene: We are in JAPAN, lady. They don't take dollars.
Voice: That's when you go to the airport and get dollars converted into yen.
Gene: We can't get there it's almost midnight.
Voice: How long have you waited to call me?
Gene: Twelve hours.
Voice: I'm going to Fed Ex you a tree.
Gene: COOL! When will it get here?
Voice: three million years.
Gene: What kind of Fed Ex do you use, demon lady?
Voice: I was teasing you.
Gene: HAHAHA you're not funny.
Voice: Okay.
Click
(a truck appears out of Shinko's garage. It's a Fed Ex kind and in it is a giant tree.)
Fed Ex guy in the truck: Hey, Gene Starwind we have a package for you. It's twenty gazillion dollars.
Gene: Hold on a minute. Sephy, where are we going to get twenty gazillion dollars?
Marth: Ask Shinko! Ask Pegasus. He's at the nearest Sake bar.
Fed Ex guy: DAMN YOU! PAY ME! NOW!
Y. Bakura reaches into his pocket and pulls out twenty gazillion dollars.
Fed Ex guy: BOUT DAMN TIME!
(drives away)
Y. Bakura: I can't believe he fell for it. That was really Chinese money!
Gene: We got a tree.
Ralph dog comes back.
Ralph dog: TERRITORY!!
Y. Bakura: HELL NO YOU DOG!
(uses the axe intended to cut down trees to destroy the dog)
Y. Bakura: YAY I GOT TO KILL IT!
Marth: hahahaha you people funny.
Gene picks up his cell phone to call Pegasus, but Pegasus is not answering his phone.
Everyone picks up a part of the tree to go back to Shinko's house.
Seto: We got a tree!
Sephy: Let's decorate it!
So they start decorating the tree.
Shinko: Why don't we sing a song since I sold all of my Christmas CDs!
Marth: Cool!
---a Shinko Christmas song--
Shinko: I was waitin'
Y. Bakura: For this moment
Marth: By all the trees
Sephy: with my sword
Seto: IN it's sheath
Cal: Watching it snow
Bay: as it glows
Tidus: greeeeeeeeeen.
Tree: I noticed it was Christmas when I saw you smile like that!
Pegsy: Cause only do I ever get so much
Y. Yoshi: SAKE!!!! (he yelled that cause he's drunk)
Fed Ex guy: at Christmas!
Voice from the phone: I love my Christmas songs
Millennia: Only as much as I do you!
Decorations on the tree: Everyone knows that only the snow glows green on Christmas.
Shinko (whispering) does it really?
Seto: I never thought I would see the day I greeted it with a smile!
Sephy: Or a sword!
Tree: Never forget how much I love it when it snows
Tidus: greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen! Cookies!
Trees in the Tree lot: YEAH COOKIES!
Bartender at the bar: YEAH DRUNKEN COOKIES!
Loan Shark: yeah drunken rich cookies!
Shinko: WE NEVER NEED YOU GO AWAY!
Loan Shark: Oh well. (leaves)
----end the Song---
the bell on the clock says it's Christmas.
Shinko: Let's go watch outlaw star!
Gene: I wanna meet Santa!
Sephy: I killed him six years ago.
Y. Bakura: There goes my plan to take over the world.
Everyone else: WHAT?
Y. Bakura: his sleigh can go around the world in one night. Think of all the bombing, nightmares, and everything else bad too! YAY!
Shinko: (turns into her Yami) YAY DESTRUCTION!
Marth: No one will see Santa the same way again.
Soon there was footsteps on the roof and Y. Bakura, Y. Shinko, and Sephy were waiting to kill him in hopes of taking over the world. But since the writer of this story has to go and wait for Santa herself, the story doesn't have a true ending. SORRY BUT YOUR BAD NOT MINE!
Note to the ones to who actually read this story: No matter what decorations on your tree will never sing no matter how much you drink.
Y. Yoshi: OH YEAH I HEARD 'UM SING!
Shinko: SHOVE IT YOU DIDN'T!
Another note: Do you people get the joke about the Pizza either mode? Well there's a sandwich called a sub sandwich, so I used Pizza because I was hungry!
anyway, disclaimers like I don't own Christmas, Santa, Rudolph, or trees, (despite what the story says) I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Or SSBM, tragically.... poor Marth! Anyway, don't own any hot springs... T_T I wish I owned some hot bishonen... and a hot spring! HELLO GUY SIDE OF PLANET TENREI! ^________________________________^
A Christmas Story, Shinko Style
by Shinko, of course
Not everyone was happy, but it was sure to change when Shinko came over. Everyone knew that she had planned an extravaganza, which included a lot of anime people! ^_^!
Cal (putting his shield in a nearby corner): So you're saying that everyone under the Japanese sun will be here?
Bay (chomping on all the cookies): No, just the anime sun. There are so many people in Japan, and you know that they all won't fit inside this room.
(The door opens)
Guy: Hello? Is this the place?
Cal (picking up his shield incase that guy's an invader): It depends on what you are looking for.
Guy: Well, I know the sound of that voice anywhere. As much as Shinko talks about you, I bet you're Cal.
Cal: Yes, that fact is true.
Guy: Do you still not know who I am?
Bay (now eating the cake): That's Seto Kaiba.
Seto: 'bout damn time. Someone knows the biggest face in Duel Monsters history!
(door opens again)
Girl: This has got to be it.
Cal: That voice.....
Girl: Seto, don't tell me you're planning to run away.
Seto: Millennia!
Millennia: What? I mean when Shinko gets here you might want to run, but it might not go over that well.
Gene Starwind: And she barely has a crush on me!
Seto: Hmmm..... anyone want to duel?
Millennia: I'll be glad to!
(dueling arena pops up out of no where)
Gene: Are you sure that you want to, Seto? I heard she has some rare cards that no one ever heard of before!
Cal: I still don't know how to play.
Gene: Shinko taught me! ^_^!
Millennia: All right, Seto! Prepare for the ultimate encounter!
Bay: Oh, well..... (looks around to find more food.) Go Seto!
(Seto and Millennia draw their five card hand)
Seto: All right. Millennia, I'll give you first move.
Millennia: Oh shoot. Well, I summon the WINGS OF VALMAR! With attack points at 3500 and defense points at 3000, it'll cream all your monsters, including your stupid Ultimate Dragon!
Seto (draws a card): Hmm..... you are right, but can it compete with Regaiki, which destroys all opposing monsters? I play Regaiki!! Then, I'll put a card face down in defense mode.
Millennia: CRAP! All right then, check this out! I call upon the EYE OF VALMAR! And it's a force not to be messed with! 2000/2500 It has an effect too!
Seto: The Eye of Valmar? Since when were these Duel Monsters? I don't get it! Did you do something for Pegasus?
(Pegasus pops up at the door)
Pegasus: Actually, Kaiba-kun, Millennia knew that it was time to get into something else, and when I saw her, I couldn't resist. Taking all the parts of Valmar from her and making them cards using my Millennium Eye was quite easy!
Seto: Pegasus! I bet you did it to see her.... PRODUCTS!
Shinko: What does this have to do with Christmas? (walks in and looks at Pegasus.) You ruined my story!
Pegasus: Shinko-Chan! I didn't expect to see you here!
Shinko: This is my party. Not a dueling contest! (looks around and sees Seto) SETO!!!!! YOU CAME!!!!
Seto: I had to. I like free food!
Shinko: Who doesn't?
Bay: Hey, Shinko.
Shinko: Sup? I can't believe you people! This is for Christmas, not to make yourself look greater than those around you! Besides, I got gifts.
Gene: Did you get me a Melphina doll?
Shinko: (mocking him) a Melphina doll? HA!
Sephiroth: I shall kill you!
(Sephy falls from the ceiling and lands on his face)
Shinko: Sephy? You okay?
Gene: I think he's fine.
Shinko: Well, I know that you lazy bums don't do anything around here, but here goes. I need you to decorate, clean, cook, and then party, after that you take all the decorations down, clean and put all the dishes away. Seto, you come with me!
Seto: What?! OH NO!!! (runs away in fear)
Shinko (changes into her Yami): YO!!! Where is Bakura?
Pegasus: I see you have used your Millennium item to transform! Shinko-Chan, I was wondering if you have seen that push over boyfriend of yours?
Shinko: You mean Tidus-Baka?
Pegasus: Yes, him. Have you chatted with his Yami?
Yami Shinko: I haven't talked with that dumb ass in so long. Stupid Christmas break. Anyway, where is Bakura?
(Bakura walks in the room)
Bakura: I'm here, sorry I'm late.
Sephiroth: Someone to kill YAY
Yami Shinko: He is NOT someone to kill!
Sephiroth: Why do you not want me to kill him?
Yami Shinko: 'Cause I love my Bakura.
Pegasus: Humph. stupid Yami Bakura gets all the girls.
Bakura: No, I'm the sweetie pie. I get them. My Yami is a dog! He hovers over girls like he's gonna die tomorrow!
Yami Shinko: Like that's bad?!
Seto: Yami Shinko, you're like.... a... slu....
(Bakura changes into Yami Bakura)
Yami Bakura: You wanna say that again?
Seto: GRRR! I'll use the Millennium Bowtie and get my Yami!
(Changes to *my* version of his Yami)
Y. Seto: Oh.... yeah.... I like KILLING!!
Sephy: Me too!
Yami Bakura: Dear Shinko, let us depart.
Yami Shinko: But, it's a party! Free food!
Cal: True.
Y. Bakura: Well, then, let's have a party. Then me and you will have to chat, Shinko.
Tidus walks in.
Tidus: I'm LATE!! SUMIMASEN!
Yami Shinko: No one cares.
Tidus: YAMI SHINKO!! YOU CAME!!
Yami Shinko: Yes, Tidus Baka.
Y. Bakura: Heh heh heh. Now you're a stupid Baka, baka.
Cal: So, is this the party?
Y. Shinko (turns back into herself)
Shinko: That was quick... and Y. Bakura what were you doing with your arm around my waist? That's enough! My Yami has the worst in taste.
Y. Bakura: Have yourself a stupid party cause afterwards your Yami and I have an appointment!
Shinko: GRRRRR!! Who wants to decorate the tree?
Tidus: We don't have a tree.
Shinko (looks at the surrounding area): Come to think of it, you're right. Oh well.
Seto: Go out and get one.
Shinko: You been outside lately? damn it's cold.
Pegasus: Why don't we go get one and you work on getting this place ready, hmm?
Cal: Yeah, me and Bay, Pegsy, Seto, Gene, and Y. Bakura can go and get you a tree!
Shinko: Sounds great. I'll get the axe.
(goes and gets the axe and hands it to Y. Bakura)
Y. Bakura: This axe gives me power.
Seto: That's bad.
Millennia: Go on boys and get us a tree.
Shinko: Get a good one. Last year Sephy got me a twig that had no branches and tried to call it a tree.
Sephy: I had too much Egg nog.
Shinko: Who spiked it last year?
Sephy: It had to have been Cloud. He needed a reason to get both Tifa and Aeris in his bed at the same time.
Shinko: O.O!! That's enough of that!
Cal: Want us to drag Tidus with us?
Tidus: I'll melt all the snow. (--it's an inside joke if you don't get it. Sorry, it's a me and him thing)
Shinko: Let him stay, that way I can torture him with the wreath!
Tidus: It gives me a bad rash!! No!! I'll go with them!!
(--another inside joke)
Shinko: Why don't you all go and pick out a tree. I don't need danglers.
Seto: Oh no, Shinko you need someone!
Shinko: Are you volunteering?
Seto: (Gulp) No....
Shinko: THEN GO AND GET US A DAMNED TREE!
Everyone but Shinko goes to get the tree.
Yami Bakura: Hmmm... this axe makes me feel so superior to the rest of the world....
Seto: Not good not good!
Pegsy: REALLY! Oh well...
Millennia: I beat you in a duel.
Seto: You did not.
Gene: I'll get the outlaw star to help carry the thing.
Sephy: Can I kill you now?
Gene: No.
Yami Bakura: Hey, Sephy! Let's go on a killing spree!
Sephy: Last time I did Shinko tried to kill me for not taking her on the adventure.
Y. Bakura: Shinko, eh? I'll invite her after the party!
Sephy: YAY!
Seto: Is that a good tree?
Tidus: A good tree to stick up Cow's ass!
Cal: I'm not a COW (--that's Cal's new trademark)
Marth (dressed as tree salesman) Can I get you a tree?
Y. Bakura: CAN I KILL HIM?
Marth: AHH! NO WAY MAN!
Sephy: Shinko gets the first kill of the season, you know that.
Marth: What kind of people are you?
Sephy: We're normal people and we want a big tree!
(a guy walks onto the scene wearing a lumber jack outfit and cursing something about Pegasus and his wine)
Guy: Hello. I want to cut down a tree.
Y. Bakura: Who made him the cutter-person?
Guy: I'm the cutter guy!
Marth: This is Ralph.
Ralph: Hi!
Guy: I'm Ralph!
(Ralph, the first one is a dog)
Ralph dog: hello ruff
Ralph: Sorry about the confusion, but do you want a tree?
Seto: ...umm.... YEAH! ( sarcastic tone)
Ralph dog: Ruff I'll pee on one for you.
Y. Bakura: I'M KILLIN' THE DOG!
Ralph dog: Ruff? No way ruff!
(a cat walks onto the scene with a bullet hole where it's head should be.)
Cat: Meow.
Ralph dog: Yum! ( chases after the headless cat) RUFF!! RUFF!
Cat: Ah shit! First I walk onto this property and this guy shoots me with his 22 then this dog named the same name as the tree cutter has to come and chase me, Meow. What is the world coming to?
Seto: Like wise, there cat.
Ralph dog: I like cats Ruff
Ralph: I'll get you a tree. Hiccup!
Pegasus: YOU!!! THAT'S WHERE MY WINE WENT YOU THIEF!
Marth: You stole his wine?
Ralph: Hic! No.... I ate it.....
Y. Bakura: This stupid basta....
Seto: BAKURA!
Y. Bakura: He is!
Marth: How do you eat wine?
Pegasus: Wait! There is something wrong with the wine thief tree cutter guy!
Ralph (glowing madly) Hic! I am Yami Ralph and I have come to take Pegsy's wine!
Pegasus: NOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE COME TO LIFE!!!!!!!
Seto: huh? You mean that YOU have a worst nightmare? DAMN I THOUGHT I WAS A WIMP!
Y. Bakura: I will be all of your worst nightmares if you keep up this stupidity! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Y. Ralph: Anyway, you don't know my real name. I am THE ULTIMATE WINE THIEF TREE CUTTER GUY: YAMI YOSHI!!!
Seto: Isn't that Shinko's brother?
Pegasus: There's a new Millennium item and it's coming this way!!!!!
Y. Bakura: OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE MY EYES IT'S A MILLENNIUM GOBLET!
Everyone else: Hahahaha how funny.
Marth: We sell trees.
Sephy: I see that but are you allowed to sell them off of someone else's property?
Marth: Does that matter? I sell trees.
Seto: But this is Kaiba corp. land!
Tidus: I'm a baka!
Sephy: We know that. Stop interrupting Seto and Marth's fight I wanna see some bloodshed.
Seto: On Christmas eve?
Sephy: Yeah.
Marth: You want a tree?
Everyone including Yami Yoshi: YES!
Marth: It'll be one gazillion dollars. Go pick one out.
Sephy: I don't want a tree. How much is it for a twig?
Marth: Five gazillion dollars.
Y. Bakura: I bet Shinko is pissed off cause this is taking so long. Wonder what she's doing?
(Back at Shinko's house)
Shinko is sitting in a hot spring not wearing anything, but nothing bad is showing.
Shinko: Those twerps don't know what they're missing. WOOHOO! I love hot springs....
(Back to the Tree Discovery team)
Y. Bakura: Yup.... I bet she's working so hard getting the house ready.
Sephy: I doubt it.
Seto: MARTH DAMMIT WE WANT A TREE!
Marth: I know but you have to pay first.
Seto: This property belongs to Shinko!!
Marth: Hey, talk to my boss about it. She's up in the big house over there.
Seto: Shinko's your boss?
Marth: No kidding. Millions of people buy trees this time of year from her because here in Japan not many pine trees grow, dumb asses!
Sephy: Hmm... we are in Japan?
Marth: Yeah.
Seto: No we aren't. We are friends of Shinko. Give us a damn tree or else.
Marth: BUT!!!!
Y. Yoshi: Listen, I have a problem with hic your service it sucks! We'll never by a tree from you!!
Y. Bakura: We'll go find a twig somewhere else!
Sephy: HAHAHA we're getting a twig.
Marth: But you can't because in Japan this is the only place to by a pine tree.
Gene: No it isn't.
(Gene pulls out a cell phone and dials a number)
Gene: Hello. Are you Shinko's mom?
Voice: Yup. What is she in trouble?
Gene: No, but there is this guy that is pissing her off because he's charging one gazillion dollars for a pine tree just so we can have Christmas.
Voice: So why doesn't she go buy one at Wal-Mart?
Gene: Hey, thanks! click
Sephy: What she say?
Gene: We're going to Wal-Mart!
Seto: How 'bout I get Kaiba corp. to make one?
Marth: Kaiba corp. can't make trees!
Seto: Oh yeah?
Marth: YEAH! SO BUY A TREE FROM ME!
Y. Yoshi: I'm driving.
Gene: We don't have a car.... but I have the outlaw star.
Y. Yoshi: But I have a compact convertible that doesn't need some naked person in a tube of toothpaste to drive it!
Gene: Well it doesn't need Melphina anymore. We have to go to sub-ether mode fifty million times to get there!
Y. Yoshi: My PIZZA ETHER mode will only take thirty minutes to get to Tokyo Wal-Mart!
Seto: Why don't I call the Blue eyes and he can take us?
Marth: Because the Pokefloats are faster!
Gene: No! The Outlaw Star is the fastest!
Pegasus: I'll use Yoshi's car since it has the stolen wine that belongs to me!
Sephy: I wanna fly there!
Gene: On what?
Sephy: Not my sword but on my chocobo!
Y. Bakura: I ate it for breakfast with Yoshi the other day.
Everyone else: GROSS!
Gene: You knew him?
Y. Bakura: I have to know the Yami of the brother of my bride to be!
Sephy: YOU'RE MARRING SHINKO?! ...and YOU ATE MY CHOCOBO?!
Y. Bakura: Well don't look at me look at Yoshi!
Gene: We weren't looking at you. There's a Lamebrains over there and it's the fastest car ever!
Y. Yoshi: That's MINE!
Everyone else: you liar.
Pegasus: I have a copy cat card so let's use it to copy the wine that Yoshi stole!
Y. Yoshi: No, it's mine!
Sephy: What isn't yours?
Y. Bakura: YOU MADE ME EAT THE CHOCOBO! AND YOU STOLE PEGSY'S WINE AND YOU STEAL CARS!
Y. Yoshi: That I don't do! I don't steal cars! It was mine!
Everyone looks behind them to see a giant sign that reads in big bold not hard to miss letters
MINE, JAPAN
Yami Bakura: actually, it's still Mine.
Everyone else: HAHAHAHA that's the town name!
Marth: Don't you guys need a tree?
Y. Yoshi: No we want twigs and hic hand picked dog poo.
Marth: EWWW! I wanna hit on what ever you were smoking!
Sephy: You smoke?
Y. Bakura: You guys! WE are supposed to be getting a tree for Shinko.
Marth: I thought you wanted twigs!
Gene: We do?
Sephy: Yeah!
Y. Yoshi: Hey, Pegsy. Let's go get some wine.
Pegsy: I'll pay.
Gene: I'M COMING WITH YOU!
Marth: You are a tree hunter and I'm a seller!
Y. Bakura: Hmm.... all right. Pegsy, call Shinko's mom. Ask her where the nearest Wal-mart is.
Marth: There is a Wal-Mart in the forest if you pay me ten gazillion dollars.
Gene: YOU MONEY GRUBBING BITCH!
Marth: No, I am not a dog.
(in the meantime, Pegsy and Y. Yoshi managed to get away to go and get more wine, which Pegsy is paying for.)
(Back at Shinko's house)
Shinko: Wonder where those guys are? I should call Marth and tell him that they are coming and to jack up all the prices.
Ring ring
Marth: Hello?
Shinko: Marthy!
Marth: Don't call me that! Whatjacha need?
Shinko: I was calling to warn you about my friends coming to get a Christmas tree and Pegsy should pay the gazillions of dollars.
Marth: Pegsy left. He went to get wine with your brother.
Shinko: THAT SLEAZY WINE GRUBBING MONSTER! YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO SHOOT HIM WITH ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN!
Marth: Pegsy?
Shinko: NO MY BROTHER! HE STILL OWES MONEY ON THE LAST FIFTY MILLION TREES HE'S BORROWED!
CLICK
Shinko: sleez ball.
(back with the Tree finders)
Sephy: So who was that, Marth?
Marth: Shinko. She's pissed.
Gene: When is she not?
Y. Bakura: Oh!! That woman!!
Seto: I thought that you liked her Yami.
Y. Bakura: Her Yami is the only one that would consider getting with me.
Seto: So you like her Yami?
Y. Bakura: Hell yeah.
Seto: SHE LIKES ME!
Gene: That's enough! Here. I saved up one gazillion dollars in pennies for a tree.
Marth: We don't take Pennies. we take nickels!
Gene: I'm calling Shinko's mom.
Ring ring
Voice: Is that you Gene? Damn what happened you didn't get a tree from Wal-Mart?
Gene: We are in JAPAN, lady. They don't take dollars.
Voice: That's when you go to the airport and get dollars converted into yen.
Gene: We can't get there it's almost midnight.
Voice: How long have you waited to call me?
Gene: Twelve hours.
Voice: I'm going to Fed Ex you a tree.
Gene: COOL! When will it get here?
Voice: three million years.
Gene: What kind of Fed Ex do you use, demon lady?
Voice: I was teasing you.
Gene: HAHAHA you're not funny.
Voice: Okay.
Click
(a truck appears out of Shinko's garage. It's a Fed Ex kind and in it is a giant tree.)
Fed Ex guy in the truck: Hey, Gene Starwind we have a package for you. It's twenty gazillion dollars.
Gene: Hold on a minute. Sephy, where are we going to get twenty gazillion dollars?
Marth: Ask Shinko! Ask Pegasus. He's at the nearest Sake bar.
Fed Ex guy: DAMN YOU! PAY ME! NOW!
Y. Bakura reaches into his pocket and pulls out twenty gazillion dollars.
Fed Ex guy: BOUT DAMN TIME!
(drives away)
Y. Bakura: I can't believe he fell for it. That was really Chinese money!
Gene: We got a tree.
Ralph dog comes back.
Ralph dog: TERRITORY!!
Y. Bakura: HELL NO YOU DOG!
(uses the axe intended to cut down trees to destroy the dog)
Y. Bakura: YAY I GOT TO KILL IT!
Marth: hahahaha you people funny.
Gene picks up his cell phone to call Pegasus, but Pegasus is not answering his phone.
Everyone picks up a part of the tree to go back to Shinko's house.
Seto: We got a tree!
Sephy: Let's decorate it!
So they start decorating the tree.
Shinko: Why don't we sing a song since I sold all of my Christmas CDs!
Marth: Cool!
---a Shinko Christmas song--
Shinko: I was waitin'
Y. Bakura: For this moment
Marth: By all the trees
Sephy: with my sword
Seto: IN it's sheath
Cal: Watching it snow
Bay: as it glows
Tidus: greeeeeeeeeen.
Tree: I noticed it was Christmas when I saw you smile like that!
Pegsy: Cause only do I ever get so much
Y. Yoshi: SAKE!!!! (he yelled that cause he's drunk)
Fed Ex guy: at Christmas!
Voice from the phone: I love my Christmas songs
Millennia: Only as much as I do you!
Decorations on the tree: Everyone knows that only the snow glows green on Christmas.
Shinko (whispering) does it really?
Seto: I never thought I would see the day I greeted it with a smile!
Sephy: Or a sword!
Tree: Never forget how much I love it when it snows
Tidus: greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen! Cookies!
Trees in the Tree lot: YEAH COOKIES!
Bartender at the bar: YEAH DRUNKEN COOKIES!
Loan Shark: yeah drunken rich cookies!
Shinko: WE NEVER NEED YOU GO AWAY!
Loan Shark: Oh well. (leaves)
----end the Song---
the bell on the clock says it's Christmas.
Shinko: Let's go watch outlaw star!
Gene: I wanna meet Santa!
Sephy: I killed him six years ago.
Y. Bakura: There goes my plan to take over the world.
Everyone else: WHAT?
Y. Bakura: his sleigh can go around the world in one night. Think of all the bombing, nightmares, and everything else bad too! YAY!
Shinko: (turns into her Yami) YAY DESTRUCTION!
Marth: No one will see Santa the same way again.
Soon there was footsteps on the roof and Y. Bakura, Y. Shinko, and Sephy were waiting to kill him in hopes of taking over the world. But since the writer of this story has to go and wait for Santa herself, the story doesn't have a true ending. SORRY BUT YOUR BAD NOT MINE!
Note to the ones to who actually read this story: No matter what decorations on your tree will never sing no matter how much you drink.
Y. Yoshi: OH YEAH I HEARD 'UM SING!
Shinko: SHOVE IT YOU DIDN'T!
Another note: Do you people get the joke about the Pizza either mode? Well there's a sandwich called a sub sandwich, so I used Pizza because I was hungry!