With sluggish steps Judas drags himself onto stage, where he can`t keep
himself upright anylonger and collapses onto the ground. He can`t remember
having ever felt this lonely and helpless before, not even when he... he
doesn`t even dare to think of the betrayal he did twice. But he had no idea
what tragedy he would produce. With a heavy sigh he hides his head in his
hands, an image of pure resignation.
MY MIND IS IN DARKNESS NOW
He did everything wrong, even when he thought he was right. He was nothing but a puppet on a string, reacting exactly the way he was supposed to, perfectly filling the role others had in store for him, first Jesus, then Asrael, or has it been an even higher instance? Like in slowmotion he lifts his head and his dark eyes burn into God`s light. How could it be that HE hadn`t noticed, HE, the Almighty, the one who sees and hears everything? A wave of liquid fire shoots through his veins, colouring his unshaven cheeks and making his eyes blaze darkly.
MY GOD I AM SICK
IVE BEEN USED
Jumping up he points accusingly at the figure hidden in darkness.
AND YOU KNEW ALL THE TIME
His muscles tense, as he tries to master the flame of rage and despair that`s consuming him from inside.
GOD I`LL NEVER EVER KNOW WHY YOU CHOSE ME FOR YOUR CRIME YOUR FOUL BLOODY CRIME
His eyes flare up with dark insanity, as he laughs hysterically.
YOU HAVE MURDERED ME; MURDERED ME; MURDERED ME
Mumbling and screaming he climbs onto the bridge, getting hold of a snare. He didn`t have a chance, he never had. He has been damned from the beginning, and whatever he did, whatever choice he made, it had to turn out exactly this way. There`s nothing he can do. This is his fate, being set from the start. God, how silly he has been, thinking his actions would matter at all! In the end free will, own decisions are just an illusion. It is HIS plan that he Judas Iscariot, should be damned, the greatest villain of the world.
His lips curl into a sarcastic smile. But not even HE would have imagined the real extent of his failure, his betrayal. His crime wouldn`t only damn Jesus to die, it would doom the whole world. And so it ends, alone on a dusty bridge bathed in darkness. So it`ll end for them all, even for God himself. As the betrayer plunges into blackness, as the messiah will be nailed onto the cross, the Almighty himself will be turned over to oblivion.
A bitter laugh escapes his narrowed lips. If he only could pretend, his suicide would change a thing, that it was a heroic death; a jump into the depth, lights and electric bolts flaring up around him, wrapping him up in light-blue cosmic harmony. A flight right down into eternal bliss knowing he`s the saviour of the world. But the truth is that the moment he dies, he will be gone, forgotten and forgetting. He will never have existed and he definitely won`t save anyone. It just doesn`t matter if he commits suicide or stays alive. But he can`t face Olivia again. How could he tell her that he`s responsible for Jesus` death, that he`s the one who tore her world apart, who destroyed her life in the name of love? No, he couldn`t stand seeing the disgust, the contempt, the disappointment in her beautiful green eyes. Swallowing hard Judas puts the snare round his neck and closes his eyes.
"No!" A cracking voice yells and a ray of fire shoots through the darkness cutting the snare into. Being hit completely offguard Judas tumbles forwards, struggles to keep the balance, loses it, but gets hold of the edge of the bridge, hesitates for a moment and jumps down, landing not too soft on the ground.
"What a silly thing to do!"
Judas gets up and stares into the direction the voice came from. "You" He doesn`t look particularly enthusiastic at the slender figure that`s approaching him quickly.
"What did you think you were doing there? Are you crazy?" Luzi grips his shoulders and shakes him wildly, her eyes spraying black sparks. "Committing suicide? Is that all you can do? It`s no solution, it never has been, I thought you`d learned that."
Judas steps backwards avoiding to look at her. "It doesn`t matter at all."
"It does matter to me." Luzi throws herself into his arms, and Judas can`t help but embrace her so they don`t lose balance. "Judas, no matter what you`ve done, no matter what has happened, I`d never let anyone hurt you, noone must ever harm you, not even you." Blinking away a tear she looks up at him and runs her finger through his hair, while her lips come very close to his own. Carefully Judas detaches and steps backwards. "No, Luzi, no."
Immediately an angry spark flares up in her dark eyes. "What? Do you still cling to this bitch?" She snorts contemptuously.
"Luzi".Judas sais in warning voice.
"She sais she loves you, but where`s she now? Why isn`t she here with you? Has she changed her mind again?"
"Luzi" Judas repeats more sharply.
"What did she ever do for you? Nothing. She isn`t here to help you. But I am. I saved you."
"I didn`t ask you to." Judas murmurs.
"Nunsense. You don`t even know what could happen. You could die."
"I know." Judas sais flatly.
"I mean it, you could really die."
"Yes I know."
Luzi gasps. "You know?" Her eyes widen in surprise.
"Your son told me everything."
"Everything? What everything?" Luzi gives him a puzzled look.
Judas scrutinizes her, then he relaxes and sighs. "So you really don`t know."
"What do you mean? I don`t know? What don`t I know?"
Judas runs his fingers through his dark hair and walks up and down the stage, obviously pondering if he should tell her the truth.
"Come on, Judas, talk to me. What don`t I know?" Luzi touches his shoulder making him stop, looking almost pleadingly at him.
"Asrael wants to take over the world."
"So, he wants to?" Luzi bites her lower lip, fighting hard against the fit of laughter that`s rising up inside her throat. "He`s a good boy, but has got a head full of illusions and dreams, that can`t come true."
"I wouldn`t be so sure about this." Judas replies dryly.
"Come on, Judas, you don`t believe his nunsense, do you? He`s just a dreamer, that`s all. How should he be able to take over the world?"
Judas directs his burning gaze directly on her face. "He`ll kill Jesus."
Luzi looks aghast at him. "no." She waves dismissively and laughs almost manically. "No, he can`t." She recognizes Jduas`s sinister gaze, and frowns. "No, he won`t." The smile slowly disappears from her features, and an expression of shocked understanding appears in her eyes. "Oh my God, he really..." her voice dies away.
"Yes." Judas nodds slowly and smiles bitterly. "Aren`t you proud of your son? Life as we`ve known will be destroyed, all humans will be damned. You must be satisfied."
Luzi glares at him, hurt reflecting from her black eyes. "How can you say that? I never had anything against humans. I always tried to give even the baddest of them a home, and you know very well hell isn`t that hostile place!" She shakes her long pitchblack hair. "You`re simply unfair."
Judas stares back at her. "Maybe." He breaks the eye contact and waves dismissively. "But it doesn`t matter at all. Your son will kill Jesus, will erase the memoriy of him, of God, will change the face of life, and not for the better. And there`s nothing we can do about it." He looks closer at Luzi, when he notices that she suddenly evades his look and begins shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "We can`t do anything, can we?"
When Luzi doesn`t react, he steps forwards, grips her chin forcing her to look at him. "Can we do something, Luzi?" His burning eyes betray the soft patience in his voice.
Luzi detaches and steps backwards, uncertainty shining in her eyes. "There might be a way, but..."
"What way? Tell me, please!" Jduas begs urgently.
Luzi retreats even more, until she feels a column in her back. "Judas, I don`t, I can`t... I don`t even know if it`ll work." Luzi replies evasively.
Judas slowly steps closer towards her, until his face is just a few inches away from hers and braces his arms next to her head. "Tell me!"
Tears well up in Luzi`s black eyes pleading for sympathy. "Judas, he`s my son."
Judas takes a few steps back, but keeps brown burning eyes on her. "And he`ll kill us all. Do you want this to happen?"
Luzi lowers her head. "No." She sais nearly inaudibly.
"Then help us. Only you can do it." Judas pleads.
"If I help you," Luzi starts hesitating. "will you love me again?"
Judas stays silent for a moment, then he lets out a deep sigh. "No, Luzi. I wished, I could." He smiles sadly. "But I can`t. And you know that."
"Olivia." Luzi looks crestfallen at Judas, who nodds without a word. "But he`s my son." She repeats in desperate tone.
"He`s dangerous." Judas answers quietly.
Luzi runs her fingers through her long flowing hair. "You`ll have to end the play properly."
"But I don`t have the power to finish it. I can`t do it."
Luzi looks sadly at Jduas. "Only you can do it. Don`t forget you`re the hero of the play." Her eyes are swimming with tears. "The hero will save the world by killing the villain." She gets out with flat voice, then turns his back on Judas and starts going towards the seat next to God again.
"But Asrael`s the angel of death, he`s immortal."
"His human form isn`t." Having sat down she gazes into the nowwhere while icy tears burn her cheek and doesn`t even notice the man beside her pressing her right hand encouragingly.
MY MIND IS IN DARKNESS NOW
He did everything wrong, even when he thought he was right. He was nothing but a puppet on a string, reacting exactly the way he was supposed to, perfectly filling the role others had in store for him, first Jesus, then Asrael, or has it been an even higher instance? Like in slowmotion he lifts his head and his dark eyes burn into God`s light. How could it be that HE hadn`t noticed, HE, the Almighty, the one who sees and hears everything? A wave of liquid fire shoots through his veins, colouring his unshaven cheeks and making his eyes blaze darkly.
MY GOD I AM SICK
IVE BEEN USED
Jumping up he points accusingly at the figure hidden in darkness.
AND YOU KNEW ALL THE TIME
His muscles tense, as he tries to master the flame of rage and despair that`s consuming him from inside.
GOD I`LL NEVER EVER KNOW WHY YOU CHOSE ME FOR YOUR CRIME YOUR FOUL BLOODY CRIME
His eyes flare up with dark insanity, as he laughs hysterically.
YOU HAVE MURDERED ME; MURDERED ME; MURDERED ME
Mumbling and screaming he climbs onto the bridge, getting hold of a snare. He didn`t have a chance, he never had. He has been damned from the beginning, and whatever he did, whatever choice he made, it had to turn out exactly this way. There`s nothing he can do. This is his fate, being set from the start. God, how silly he has been, thinking his actions would matter at all! In the end free will, own decisions are just an illusion. It is HIS plan that he Judas Iscariot, should be damned, the greatest villain of the world.
His lips curl into a sarcastic smile. But not even HE would have imagined the real extent of his failure, his betrayal. His crime wouldn`t only damn Jesus to die, it would doom the whole world. And so it ends, alone on a dusty bridge bathed in darkness. So it`ll end for them all, even for God himself. As the betrayer plunges into blackness, as the messiah will be nailed onto the cross, the Almighty himself will be turned over to oblivion.
A bitter laugh escapes his narrowed lips. If he only could pretend, his suicide would change a thing, that it was a heroic death; a jump into the depth, lights and electric bolts flaring up around him, wrapping him up in light-blue cosmic harmony. A flight right down into eternal bliss knowing he`s the saviour of the world. But the truth is that the moment he dies, he will be gone, forgotten and forgetting. He will never have existed and he definitely won`t save anyone. It just doesn`t matter if he commits suicide or stays alive. But he can`t face Olivia again. How could he tell her that he`s responsible for Jesus` death, that he`s the one who tore her world apart, who destroyed her life in the name of love? No, he couldn`t stand seeing the disgust, the contempt, the disappointment in her beautiful green eyes. Swallowing hard Judas puts the snare round his neck and closes his eyes.
"No!" A cracking voice yells and a ray of fire shoots through the darkness cutting the snare into. Being hit completely offguard Judas tumbles forwards, struggles to keep the balance, loses it, but gets hold of the edge of the bridge, hesitates for a moment and jumps down, landing not too soft on the ground.
"What a silly thing to do!"
Judas gets up and stares into the direction the voice came from. "You" He doesn`t look particularly enthusiastic at the slender figure that`s approaching him quickly.
"What did you think you were doing there? Are you crazy?" Luzi grips his shoulders and shakes him wildly, her eyes spraying black sparks. "Committing suicide? Is that all you can do? It`s no solution, it never has been, I thought you`d learned that."
Judas steps backwards avoiding to look at her. "It doesn`t matter at all."
"It does matter to me." Luzi throws herself into his arms, and Judas can`t help but embrace her so they don`t lose balance. "Judas, no matter what you`ve done, no matter what has happened, I`d never let anyone hurt you, noone must ever harm you, not even you." Blinking away a tear she looks up at him and runs her finger through his hair, while her lips come very close to his own. Carefully Judas detaches and steps backwards. "No, Luzi, no."
Immediately an angry spark flares up in her dark eyes. "What? Do you still cling to this bitch?" She snorts contemptuously.
"Luzi".Judas sais in warning voice.
"She sais she loves you, but where`s she now? Why isn`t she here with you? Has she changed her mind again?"
"Luzi" Judas repeats more sharply.
"What did she ever do for you? Nothing. She isn`t here to help you. But I am. I saved you."
"I didn`t ask you to." Judas murmurs.
"Nunsense. You don`t even know what could happen. You could die."
"I know." Judas sais flatly.
"I mean it, you could really die."
"Yes I know."
Luzi gasps. "You know?" Her eyes widen in surprise.
"Your son told me everything."
"Everything? What everything?" Luzi gives him a puzzled look.
Judas scrutinizes her, then he relaxes and sighs. "So you really don`t know."
"What do you mean? I don`t know? What don`t I know?"
Judas runs his fingers through his dark hair and walks up and down the stage, obviously pondering if he should tell her the truth.
"Come on, Judas, talk to me. What don`t I know?" Luzi touches his shoulder making him stop, looking almost pleadingly at him.
"Asrael wants to take over the world."
"So, he wants to?" Luzi bites her lower lip, fighting hard against the fit of laughter that`s rising up inside her throat. "He`s a good boy, but has got a head full of illusions and dreams, that can`t come true."
"I wouldn`t be so sure about this." Judas replies dryly.
"Come on, Judas, you don`t believe his nunsense, do you? He`s just a dreamer, that`s all. How should he be able to take over the world?"
Judas directs his burning gaze directly on her face. "He`ll kill Jesus."
Luzi looks aghast at him. "no." She waves dismissively and laughs almost manically. "No, he can`t." She recognizes Jduas`s sinister gaze, and frowns. "No, he won`t." The smile slowly disappears from her features, and an expression of shocked understanding appears in her eyes. "Oh my God, he really..." her voice dies away.
"Yes." Judas nodds slowly and smiles bitterly. "Aren`t you proud of your son? Life as we`ve known will be destroyed, all humans will be damned. You must be satisfied."
Luzi glares at him, hurt reflecting from her black eyes. "How can you say that? I never had anything against humans. I always tried to give even the baddest of them a home, and you know very well hell isn`t that hostile place!" She shakes her long pitchblack hair. "You`re simply unfair."
Judas stares back at her. "Maybe." He breaks the eye contact and waves dismissively. "But it doesn`t matter at all. Your son will kill Jesus, will erase the memoriy of him, of God, will change the face of life, and not for the better. And there`s nothing we can do about it." He looks closer at Luzi, when he notices that she suddenly evades his look and begins shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "We can`t do anything, can we?"
When Luzi doesn`t react, he steps forwards, grips her chin forcing her to look at him. "Can we do something, Luzi?" His burning eyes betray the soft patience in his voice.
Luzi detaches and steps backwards, uncertainty shining in her eyes. "There might be a way, but..."
"What way? Tell me, please!" Jduas begs urgently.
Luzi retreats even more, until she feels a column in her back. "Judas, I don`t, I can`t... I don`t even know if it`ll work." Luzi replies evasively.
Judas slowly steps closer towards her, until his face is just a few inches away from hers and braces his arms next to her head. "Tell me!"
Tears well up in Luzi`s black eyes pleading for sympathy. "Judas, he`s my son."
Judas takes a few steps back, but keeps brown burning eyes on her. "And he`ll kill us all. Do you want this to happen?"
Luzi lowers her head. "No." She sais nearly inaudibly.
"Then help us. Only you can do it." Judas pleads.
"If I help you," Luzi starts hesitating. "will you love me again?"
Judas stays silent for a moment, then he lets out a deep sigh. "No, Luzi. I wished, I could." He smiles sadly. "But I can`t. And you know that."
"Olivia." Luzi looks crestfallen at Judas, who nodds without a word. "But he`s my son." She repeats in desperate tone.
"He`s dangerous." Judas answers quietly.
Luzi runs her fingers through her long flowing hair. "You`ll have to end the play properly."
"But I don`t have the power to finish it. I can`t do it."
Luzi looks sadly at Jduas. "Only you can do it. Don`t forget you`re the hero of the play." Her eyes are swimming with tears. "The hero will save the world by killing the villain." She gets out with flat voice, then turns his back on Judas and starts going towards the seat next to God again.
"But Asrael`s the angel of death, he`s immortal."
"His human form isn`t." Having sat down she gazes into the nowwhere while icy tears burn her cheek and doesn`t even notice the man beside her pressing her right hand encouragingly.