Archiving? Sure. Just tell me first.

Rating: PG13 for blood 'n sexual innuendo later on.

Part 1/4?

Author: pyne

pyneki@yahoo.co.jp

fraud.digital-sundown.com

White Noise

Chapter One

In the early hours of a pleasant morning in the tail end of summer Naruto awoke. He lay for a moment or two spread-eagle under his thin sheets, savouring the chilled freshness of the air and staring up at the water-stained roof of his apartment. Though it was custom for the boy at this time to mutter darkly concerning what a hole his living-place was, instead he inhaled slowly through his nose, held it for a moment deep in his abdomen, and gently released. All the while he tried not to let the grin bubbling up from his chest slather itself across his face.

But, you see, despite the unabashed crappiness of his apartment or the fact that he had neglected to go shopping once in the past two weeks and was subsequently fresh out of any kind of edible food save instant potatoes, Naruto was pleased. More than pleased one might be able to venture. Naruto may actually have been happy.

After all, today was the day he was going out with Hinata.

Under his sheets Naruto indulged in a delicious wiggling of his toes energetically, unaware that the grin had defiantly leaped the cement barricade of his will and was cavorting joyfully unsubdued about his features.

Again he took a moment to appreciate the stillness of the street with eyes wide open. It felt as if this stillness that permeated the entire village was a sign. It whispered just to him: The day is yours.

Carpe diem, baby. Carpe diem.

Naruto finally slid from his bed and padded to the kitchen, then shoving a pile of dirty dishes to one side and seating himself himself heavily on his one completely intact dining room chair. It creaked and swayed to one side.

"Junk," he grimaced lightly. Like everything here. I need to buy some real stuff.

But unpicky as always, the blonde haired boy decided that the bowl under his favourite fighting manga was clean 'enough' and so was the spoon stuck to the lid of the yogurt jar. Nothing openly rotted, and a little dirt only strengthens one's immune system he rationalized quietly to himself, and glanced up to the clock ticking away on the wall.

Three hours, forty-five minutes and eighteen seconds until The Moment, the defining portion of this week.

Hinata.

Naruto was so consumed in the notion he didn't even notice that he was shoveling dehydrated potatoes flakes and milk to his mouth instead of his normal cereal. More than half the bowl was down the hatch when all of a sudden a knock sounded against the door.

Knock, knock, knock.

He looked up from his breakfast. Who could it be? His teammates? He quickly discarded that idea. Sasuke and Sakura had never, not once, dropped by the visit him. A teacher? More likely, but he hadn't done anything illegal in the past week or so. Nothing that he was aware of, at least.

His breath caught in his throat at the last possibility. Hinata? Three hours early, but that wasn't impossible.

Naruto experienced a brief wash of panic at the thought of how her blank, pupilless eyes would widen if he answered the door wearing nothing but his black boxer shorts and a chin dribbled with instant potato flakes.

He needed something to wear. Now.

"C-Coming!" He called a bit desperately, eyes frantically combing the room for something, anything, he could throw on. "Be right there!" He replied as the knock sounded again at his front door more urgently this time. He tore through his house at the speed of sound and burst open the doors of his closet, grabbing the first recognizable article of clothing that he saw and dashing towards the door just as the mysterious visitor banged one, two, three--

Naruto ripped the door open, eyes wide and panting slightly. "I'm right here."

A teenaged delivery boy sneered down at him over a pimple-ridden nose. "Delivery for Mr. Uzumaki--" And then the older boy's eyes flicked down to what Naruto was wearing. A pink hearts and rainbows girls' t-shirt with glittered collar and a unicorn done in electric blue on the front. They flicked up from the shirt to Naruto's red face, then back down to the shirt, then back up, then back down in some ocular tango.

Naruto leaned as casually as could be managed against the doorframe, surreptitiously folding an arm across his belly to conceal the slogan written along the lower hem: bows and boys fill my lonely days.

Were he a full ninja, hari kiri would have been his only salvation and comfort in this dark hour. As it was, he would have to let the flaked potatoes finish the job.

"I'm he." Wishing desperately he weren't at this particular moment.

The aproned clerk thrust a brown paper sack at him. "Groceries."

Naruto blinked, but accepted the delivery and peered into the bag. Bok choy, instant ramen, milk, cereal, eggs, rice and some cupcakes. It looked a lot like his regular shopping list, and he opened his mouth to mention just that. "This--"

The delivery boy looked surly. "Mrs. Kisei, the owner, made this up for you. Said you hadn't been around in a while and wondered if you were sick." He leaned over and spit neatly onto the wood hallway floor from between his large front teeth. "I don't know why. I woulda let you starve."

Naruto's hands crinkled into the paper bag self-consciously as the fluid flow of his morning was abruptly broken into harsh shreds by the arrival of stark reality. What, just because he'd found a measure of acceptance with his team mates and teachers in school he thought the entire village would do a one-eighty? Stupid.

Stupid.

The delivery boy cracked his neck casually and turned to amble down the hall carelessly. He had already forgotten his cruel words.

But... Naruto didn't have to take this crap anymore. He'd passed his exams, had been on missions. He worked for the village and helped it prosper.

"You asshole!" Naruto called after his retreating back. "I risk my life to protect Leaf Village. You. You and your family. I would die protecting Leaf Village if I was ordered to, and...and... you can't even give me some goddamned groceries?" The paper bag rattled as the blonde's arms shook, unsettling shirt now forgotten.

The delivery boy stopped at the end of the hall, one hand on the dusty banister to descend to the lobby and glanced back at the small, lightly coloured teenager. "You..." he said. "You would die? For me? Then do me a favour and don't make me wait too long. Looking at you makes me want to puke."

His footsteps clattered as they dove down to the main floor, and Naruto stared at the gaping maw of the staircase doorway that had swallowed him.

He swallowed, softly set his groceries on the inside of his apartment, and closed the door.

"That could have gone better." Grimaced the Lord Hokage.

Chin and Nose stared self-consciously at the ceiling in the large chamber. No one blinked.

The old man puffed thoughtfully on his pipe and stared at the door Lady Manobi had so recently huffed herself through in a royal tizzy. A few feathers still straggled down to the floor from her wretchedly bright purple hat she had thrown, and his face smarted from the hearty slap the woman had delivered. A small trail of blood trickled down his weathered face from her talon-like nails, but the Lord Hokage didn't move to wipe it away.

Finally, he spoke. "I hate pacifists. They get up too early. Early to bed, early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy...and dead."

Chin scuffed his foot hesitatingly on the polished floor as Nose coughed politely into a fist. Chin spoke, "She is Leaf Village's primary source of trading income, my Lord Hokage. If we did not have her country to trade with, our revenue would be--"

"Cut by half, yes, yes. I am well aware of the delicate nature of this meeting. We must acquiesce to her demands." The man's swift, hawk-like gaze swept to other side of his chair to the silent Nose. "Find me a babysitter. Do your utmost."

The ninja bowed his head silently, gaze dark and the faintest glimmering of canine showing from between his thin lips. He was a wolf being released from his leash. Guard duty didn't suit him, the Hokage realized, it didn't suit him at all. "Yes, my Lord Hokage." There was a pause as the younger man's hands flew in a complicated jutsu.

Foomph!

Nose disappeared in a cloud of swirling leaves.

The ruler of Leaf Village leaned back into his chair. He wanted a few minutes of relaxation before the negotiations. "If Lady Manobi's precious little puff of a child is hurt in any way, our deal is off. "

Behind and to the right of him, Chin nodded gravely in agreement.

It was left unsaid that Leaf Village would suffer terrible repercussions from such a blow.

A few minutes later Nose re-appeared, shortly followed by a still sleepy-eyed and half-dressed Kakashi. "M-My lord summoned me--" Kakashi's voice was interrupted as he yawned loudly, jaw cracking. Thus refreshed he slid into his normal cocky stance. "Summoned me?" He blinked his clear eye up to the lord.

"Yes," answered the Hokage, leaning forward towards his ninja with a ferocious grin that cracked his leathery face. Kakashi felt a chill deep in his bones. This could not be good for Kakashi, whatever it was. "Listen closely. I have a mission for you."

As Sasuke opened his door that morning and squinting grouchily up towards the sky, he could have sworn he'd heard a scream, however faintly. In any case, it was gone in an instant, and he had more pressing matters to attend to.

Yes, today was Coupon Day.

He plopped the paper down onto his kitchen table plucked his lucky shuriken from the pile. If the flyer had had eyes, it would have trembled for the dangerous gleam in Sasuke's.

A dozen eggs. Thirty cents off.

The sounds of shredding filled the crisp morning air. Paper carnage.

Sakura rolled over once as the alarm clock toned, then twice, and a third time deposited her on the floor with a painful crack.

"Owwwww," she groaned sitting up and rubbing the back of her skull. That hurt. She disentangled her legs from her red bedsheets and stumbled towards the bathroom. Training in one hour.

Argh.

The village was beginning to come alive, like a flower opening its petals one by delicate one. Shop doors and stall flaps popped open and produce were laid out. Children scrubbed their eyes and trudged off to public school or ninja training while mothers and fathers saw them off at the door. Newspaper carriers finished rounds and returned home as vehicles began trundling the streets with thick, heavy grumbling motors. The feet of thousands raised hot dust to stick in the throat and eyes. Voices chattered back and forth, creating a thick soup of noise as city birds fluttered from rooftop to rooftop overhead in the shimmering blueness of the sky and the occasional stray cat crouched, slit-eyed, on the occasional front stoop.

The Village awoke from the small death of night's rest. Leaf Village lived vibrantly all over again like a phoenix arising in a loop repeating as endlessly as the sun's own cycle.

Naruto resisted the urge to flip them all the bird.

"C'mon, Naruto-kun," urged Sakura to her sullen teammate as she had for the past twenty minutes. "What's wrong? What's bothering you?"

Naruto hunched his shoulders in response.

The girl sidled closer. "Are you going out with Hinata today?" She cajoled. "You were both going to, uhm, pick flowers or something." Yeah, right. Naruto picking flowers? As if. It was probably code for... something else. Inner Sakura cackled.

I am, aren't I? Though Naruto. Flower picking, when he was with Hinata, wasn't as deadly boring as he thought it would be. It made Hinata-chan happy and Naruto found he liked making the shy girl laugh. It was an incredibly peaceful pause in his otherwise insane life. But he did wonder why Sakura would get that strange look on her face, as if she suspected something. Ah, well. Who understood girls?

Naruto exhaled heavily, and opened his mouth to speak. "I just had a real bad start to my day--Oh, hi, Uchiwa."

Sasuke sported a razor thin slice along his cheekbone under one eye. It had scabbed over, but no mistake could have been made. Sakura gasped.

"Sasuke-kun! You're hurt! What happened?" She reached out one finger to touch it softly.

Sasuke batted her hand away irritably and averted his gaze down and away. "Training accident with my shuriken." He muttered, embarrassed by her unabashed concern.

Naruto rolled his eyes from atop his perch to one side. "Perfect ninja. Training at six fucking a.m. No rest for The Uchi-nator."

"Shut it, Uzumaki." Snapped back Sasuke, wishing to end the discussion as soon as possible. It was humiliating, anyway, for a trained ninja to get a paper cut. He ducked his head to avoid being bonked by an acorn thrown by Naruto then stooped down to grab one to return the favour.

Naruto beamed and lobbed two more, one at each team mate. They easily avoided the tiny missiles and had cocked back their hands to throw one each when their wrists were roughly grabbed from behind, ending the battle prematurely.

Sakura gasped and began to attempt to twist from the assailant's grasp as Sasuke turned to face the threat.

The boy found himself staring directly into the single eye of their instructor. "Kakashi-sensei!" he exclaimed, immediately dropping the weapon he'd grabbed. It tumbled from his fingers and clanged mutely on the dusty earth. "Iruka-sensei!" Sakura exclaimed as she saw the other familiar face almost at the same moment and let her own short knife slide as well.

Sasuke and Sakura backed up hastily, both alarmed by the stilted, irritated set to their instructors' form.

"Is something the matter, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura ventured, and was taken off guard as the older ninja slammed his right fist into his left palm with a small sound of annoyance.

"I've been 'granted'," grated Kakashi. "A very important mission to Leaf Village. So, no lesson today. Go home."

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke plinked in unison.

"What?" Erupted Naruto, launching himself in a blonde haired rocket-propelled leap of indignation at his instructor.

"You can't--" Protested Sakura almost at the same time.

"Hn." joined Sasuke, arms folded tightly across his chest.

"Hey!" Kakashi said, raising his hands in front of his chest. He used one to heft the flying Naruto away from his attacking flight path to Kakashi's chest, up and over his shoulder and crashing into the bushes behind all four.

"Hey, hey!" The grey haired ninja continued. "I can't control what missions the Lord Hokage gives me any more than you can." He paused, scritching at his masked nose with one finger in silence. Naruto scrambled out of the bushes and loped up to where his other two team mates stood. The boy dropped down into a crouch facing Kakashi and with a slight grin for Iruka.

"And I had plans today, too." The shinobu sighed. "Iruka-sensei and I were going to be quite...'occupied' all this afternoon. Weren't we, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka coughed, suddenly developing an irrational fascination with his sandals.

Sakura stared.

Sasuke stood stony faced and silent.

Wind whooshed.

Naruto blinked. "What?"

"Anyway," resumed Kakashi, clapping his hands in front of his chest. "I had mentioned to the Lord Hokage that you three might want to do this vital and dangerous assignment, but he doubted you could complete it. It would take great self-restraint to endure the hardships it... entails."

Sasuke, just as Iruka and Kakashi had predicted, bristled. "I can do it,"

Like flicking a switch, thought Kakashi. He has a long way to go. "Oh?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

Sakura's back stiffened. "I think you could trust us to do anything needed, sensei."

"Let me at it!" Naruto licked blood from the back of his hand in a feral way. The bushes had scraped him up, only adding to his foul mood. "I'll kick their ass." Now with this mission in the afternoon instead of training in the morning, his plans with Hinata were shot. Just perfect.

"Oh, no," said Iruka sweatdropping at the sudden blood-lust that radiated from the blonde boy. "No, you don't understand at all. But let me explain."

As all order must inevitably fall victim to the decay of chaos, day must follow night. The morning had burned away like a soft mist under the harsh glare of the solitary eye embedded within the sky and turned the lush, verdant Leaf Village into a mirage of shimmering heat waves and phantom puddles quivering on the dry, dusty road ahead. The light from the sun seeped into every crevice. Warmth was inescapable in the cupped palm of the earth. It reflected from every surface. Radiated from every pore. Plants grew limp and tempers short.

Naruto thought that his brain would be baked.

"I still don't get it," he murmured to no one on particular, then reaching up to wipe his brow. Sasuke blew a breath out, presumably annoyed by Naruto's questioning. Sakura tossed her head to one side and thumped it back against the rock wall she sat with back against. Her two male team mates stood above her.

"For the millionth time, he's a pacifist. That means he does--won't fight. He's the son of Leaf Village's most important trading partners and we're to keep him safe and entertained." She squinted pale blue eyes up at her team mate. He stood directly in front of the unbearably bright dot of the sun and was thus cast in shadow. She squinted again, wondering if he comprehended the sheer gravity of the scenario. "So if we screw up..."

"We're toast." Finished the dark haired boy, seemingly unaffected by heat except to grow more grouchy. Actually, it was just nerves. Sakura reacted to tension by becoming rules-obsessed, Naruto by adopting a fuck-it-all attitude, and Sasuke by seizing up. Right now his knuckles were white under his arms and the cords on his neck could have cut diamonds.

To the casual observer, though, he appeared bored.

Strangling self-control like this was a difficult talent for anyone and especially for someone of Sasuke's age. After all, in this crucial part of his life his adolescent brain was literally re-wiring itself. Emotional centres arrive to their adult counterparts first, thus enabling feelings to be almost overwhelming sensations as the neurons overcompensate for a lack of Myelin sheaths by hammering away at the receivers with a brutality never again seen. It is only much later that the reasonable, forefront of the brain arrives at the station to marry up and realign the brain into an adult form, performing at nearly twice the speed of a child's.

Thus, in someone Sasuke's age the brain is in the most emotional, least-reasonable and unstable stage of his entire existence. Most teenagers find it difficult to stop themselves from slamming back the Ben and Jerry's, let alone restrain stampeding male teen emotions like Sasuke.

In fact, beneath his calm and serene exterior, it was a tumult.

The boy twitched slightly, and grunted. "They're coming."

And indeed, from the main street came three wavering figures. Two massive forms flanking a small, slender body. Sakura scrambled to her feet and hastily dusted her hands on her red tunic. "Now remember what Kakashi and Iruka-sensei said!" The girl hissed shifting her weight anxiously from side to side.

"We know," said Sasuke, squinting ahead to catch a glimpse of their charge. "He can do what he wants. He can shit in our sandals if that amuses him, and if we screw up, Kakashi'll break our legs."

"No pressure or anything," Naruto muttered and straightened up to greet the boy as he approached. "Hi, there!" He grinned broadly.

The boy, encapsulated on either side as he was by two hulking bodyguards in neckties and suits, seemed dwarfed by comparison as they blotted out the sun. Naruto was forced to look up and up and up to finally catch a glimpse of the towering, scowling, deep-set faces. The men had arms twice the circumference of Naruto's legs and the fabric of the suits stretched at the seams. They did not look happy to see him. He blinked in the sudden shadow they cast, eyes dilating to adjust.

Naruto shrugged flippantly and pointedly turned his attention back to the small boy between them. He had no reason to even be polite to the monkey-suits. "Hi. I'm Naruto. That's Sakura-chan and that creepy lookin' kid is Sasuke-kun. He only eats bad babies, so he's okay."

"What?" Sasuke squawked, unnatural calm ruffled.

Naruto grinned again at the boy. He was skinny with knobby knees and limp brown hair that was cut in a ridiculous bowl cut. He wore dirt-brown shorts a full two sizes too big for him and his feet were strapped by means of thick straps to his sandals. He had a baleful, defensive look in his spiteful eyes and teeth with large spaces between each and every one. He did not smile.

"My mother," he said, voice nasal and glasslike. "Says ninja's are dirty, dirty, violent killers and all ought to be locked up. My mother says that the world doesn't need any more blood and you're just too stupid and primitive to realise that."

Naruto forced a smile down to his charge, facial muscles straining. Hadn't he been a rude little brat when he'd been younger? Wasn't he still a rude little brat? He could understand this kid. They could reach common ground. He could do it.

"My name's Rusty. You're all ugly looking. Why do you have cat whiskers on your face? Why doesn't he smile? Shouldn't girls be inside sewing or something? I'm tired. This is boring. I want something to drink. God, this village sucks."

Naruto twitched. Sakura twitched. Sasuke looked more bored than ever. Today was going to be a lo-ong day.

Where is Iruka and Kakashi-sensei anyway?

What had he gotten himself into?

"Are you 'ready'?"

"Just give me a few minutes. I won't go easy on you, Iruka-sensei. Here, I'll take it out."

"Oh, wow....It's so...so..."

"Big? Yes, I like to think so. Its a family thing."

"But how do you fit it into such a small place? Even for an anbu, to keep it put away... May I touch it? Yours is beautiful..."

"Touch it? You're going to be playing with it all afternoon, Iruka-sensei."

"I suppose you're right....wait, all afternoon? You can go that long? I should have expected that from someone like you."

"Even longer, if I have the right...inspiration."

"I believe that."

"Shall we begin?"

"I thought you'd never ask, Kakashi-sensei."

"Be careful what you wish for..."