Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate them.
A Memory Found
by: Mystical Dragon
Waking on Saturday morning was a mixed blessing for Severus. For the first time since Tuesday his mind was completely clear (which he was extremely thankful for) but his body ached so much that Severus quickly realized that he wouldn't be able to get out of bed.
A voice floated to him and Severus realized that it was Madam Pomfrey's.
"I don't know what I was thinking!" she said, sounding upset.
What had Potter done now?
"Relax, Poppy," Dumbledore's voice soothed. "Working with victims of the Cruciatus Curse is a tricky business. Everyone responds to it differently. You did your best. We'll just have to experiment to see what is the best treatment for him."
Potter had the Cruciatus Curse put on him? No, that wasn't right. Severus was the one that had the Curse put on him, by Karkaroff, in that book shop. Strange, the thought didn't bring Severus any feelings of horror, but then again, physical pain had never been something that had ever bothered Severus much.
Wondering where he was, Severus slipped back into the embrace of sleep, dreaming about a young woman dancing around a large ball room.
"Your son," said a gruff voice as Severus found himself picked up under the arms and gently shoved into the dancing young woman's face.
She merrily laughed, not taking him. "Our son, Cezar. You're just annoyed because he said he loved me best."
The man behind him, Cezar, sniffed and Severus laughed, wondering why he was laughing. Well, his adult mind wondered, his child mind seemed to know exactly why he was laughing but Severus couldn't figure it out.
"Take him up to the nursery," the woman said. "He has made a magnificent fortress from those pieces of wood you gave him."
Severus felt himself being held by the man now and glanced up at him. The man was large, not nearly as big as Hagrid, but about as big as a human could get. He had a strangely shaped square beard and his hair was quite long, past his shoulders. His nose was Severus's nose, but because of how large his face was, it looked to be normal sized.
"Daddy," Severus informed him. "I'm three and I can walk."
The man glanced down at Severus as he walked up a flight of stairs. His black eyes sparkling in amusement. "I thought you were two."
Severus felt himself screw up his face in annoyance. "Three!" he shrieked.
"Temper, temper," the man laughed. "Where did you get that temper from?" and he continued to laugh, making Severus wonder if he hadn't inherited his father's temper. Surely his father would be annoyed if he had gotten his mother's temper, or would he?
Severus new precious little about family life, only hearing about it second hand, from people annoyed with it, or reading about it.
A door was opened and Severus wiggled his way down from his father, running over to his creation and proudly looking at his father from behind it.
His father smiled, a genuine smile, and began inspecting it while Severus explained the layout to him. There were stables, storehouses, wells, and kitchens.
"And," Severus said importantly, as he pointed to a large round piece of wood, "that is where me, mom, and you live."
The man smiled at it and Severus flushed. His child self didn't flush, though, he was used to this kind of thing, but Severus wasn't. No one looked at anything he did with that kind of expression, like they really liked what they saw.
Severus, then, kicked his creation down. "And a big whirlwind came and knocked it all down!" he said.
His father groaned as a piece of wood hit his leg. "I hope you grow out of his stage soon, Jacenty."
Severus jerked awake, regretting the movement as pain lanced through him. Jacenty? The memory from the day he was tortured came back, leaving Severus gasping slightly. Jacek? Jacenty? Two different memories? But the woman was the same in each. Maybe Jacek and Jacenty were the same name, but one was a pet form of the other.
"Are you all right?" asked a voice from somewhere near him.
Severus struggled to open his eyes and respond but his eyes would only open half way and his mouth wouldn't open at all.
A hand touched his shoulder. "If you can understand me, blink twice."
Severus closed his eyes to do just that but they wouldn't open again. The hand on his shoulder squeezed a little.
"He's still out of it," Madam Pomfrey said. "I shouldn't have given him that pain killer potion so soon. He's been walking around since Tuesday, not giving his body a chance to recuperate like it needed to, and his mind is still hazy from the side-effects."
Who was she talking to? And where was he? In his room? In the hospital wing? Severus had never spent the night in the hospital wing, not even as a student, and preferred to keep in that way. He didn't like being spied on while he slept.
"Poppy, you didn't know," Dumbledore said softly.
Pomfrey sighed. "I know, Dumbledore. I've just never had a patient that was pure guess work before. I don't like it. If he doesn't recover it's going to be my fault."
"No, it won't," Dumbledore said, his voice soft but steely. "Karkaroff is the only one that deserves to be blamed."
"Are you going to have the Dementor's Kiss performed on him?" Pomfrey asked.
"Very possibly," Dumbledore said, his voice hard and angry.
Severus would have jerked his head around to stare at Dumbledore if he could have. Dumbledore hated Dementors and he believed no one, not even Barty Crouch Junior, deserved the Kiss. What was wrong with him? Karkaroff must have done something unspeakable to induce this kind of hatred in Dumbledore. Tortured Potter?
Severus unwillingly slipped off into sleep as Pomfrey began to ask the Headmaster questions.
This time he was in a pool of water as his father held him. He was enjoying being dunked repeatedly and laughing as the water streamed down his face.
"We're going to have to go bathe soon," his mother said. "Mine and Severus's hair takes forever to make it look ungreasy."
"I know," the man said, holding Severus and turning so Severus could see his mother. She was sitting at the edge of the pool, not in the water at all, and smiling at the two of them.
Her hair was flat and greasy, though it was light brown and not black. Severus lifted a hand up and touched his hair. Though it was wet, he could still feel the grease.
"Why is our hair greasy?" he asked.
The woman shrugged. "Inherited problem, Jacek. My father had the same problem. Come on," she said, holding out her hands and Severus was handed to her, "let's make the potion."
"I'll be up after my laps, Vasya," his father called. "Bye, Jacenty."
"See you then, Cezar," she said.
"Bye, Daddy," Severus called, watching his father start swimming the length of the pool as his mother carried him away.
Cezar and Vasya? Severus woke, his mind turning over this information. He knew his parents first names. Maybe, just maybe, if these memories were real, there would be some way to trace those names down and find out something about his parents. And he had been right about Jacek and Jacenty being the same name.
Severus could feel a slight chill run up his back. If these memories were true than he had been wanted by someone once upon a time. That was a strange feeling. Severus had never been wanted by anyone before. Even the people that had been nice to him, and were nice to him, were only acting because they needed something from him.
His friends at school had only been nice to him because he had been intelligent and knew plenty about the Dark Arts and potions and was quite useful to them. The Dark Lord had been the same, though the Dark Lord had never bothered to pretend to like anyone.
Dumbledore only pretended to tolerate him because he had needed Severus to be a spy during the Dark Lord's reign and now that he was back, Dumbledore needed Severus to be a spy again. Severus mentally cringed at the thought that Karkaroff had just blown his cover. Or had he? Well, when Dumbledore sent him back to the Dark Lord to find out, Severus would either get to live or be killed on the spot for being a spy and then he'd know.
And Lupin was only nice because he needed that Wolfsbane Potion made every month. It was rather hard to forget that Lupin had never had any qualms teasing Severus, along with the rest of Lupin's gang, when they were students, and then, suddenly, when Lupin came back as an adult he was quite nice to Severus. Severus, despite Lupin's and Lupin's groups thinking, was not an idiot. Lupin was only being nice to Severus because he was afraid that Severus might mess the Potion up if Lupin got him angry. As if Severus would risk Azkaban for a grudge. He wasn't like Black.
Silent fury rose up in Severus at the thought of Black. No one cared that Black had tried to kill him. His life was worthless to everyone so why should they bother to care? Severus sighed and let the anger dissipate. What was the point of being angry anyway? Sure he didn't want to die, but he was the only one that wanted that.
His mother shouldn't have saved his life, she should have let him die with her and his father. Die with the people that had wanted him. If he died now, no one would miss him.
"Professor," came a voice near his ear, it was Draco. "I don't know if you can hear me or anything but I... well... just... you'll be okay. Vincent wanted to bring up some candy for you but Pomfrey didn't think you'd be up to eating anything."
Vincent Crabbe usually only thought about his stomach, though, to be fair, he was quite willing to share with others. Severus was rather worried about him and Gregory Goyle. Their parents were Death Eaters and neither Gregory or Vincent, honestly, had enough brain power to realize that the Dark Lord was evil and they shouldn't join up. Draco had enough sense to realize it was wrong but he wanted to please his father and wasn't at the age when a person questioned their parents too deeply yet. Severus was hoping that once Draco hit sixteen he would become a hellion and do things, like not joining the Dark Lord, just to spite his father, and then realize that not joining the Dark Lord was the right choice and stay on the good side.
"Professor," Draco said, touching his shoulder, and Severus listened as Draco related what was going on in the castle that day.
Apparently it was already in the afternoon and Draco hadn't been allowed to see Severus until a few minutes ago, despite his staying outside of the hospital wing for nearly the whole morning. Lupin had been talking to Dumbledore about something in the hospital wing but Draco hadn't been able to overhear what they were talking about.
"Longbottom's been by to check up on you," Draco said. "I mentioned to my father that Longbottom has been escorting you everywhere," Severus was startled, he didn't remember that, "and father said that Longbottom's parents were in Saint Mungo's and insane from prolonged use of the Cruciatus Curse. They were under it for..." Draco's voice faltered, "he was under for twenty and she was under it for twelve. They think the insanity started around ten minutes into the torture for him and after five minutes for her and that is why they are both so far gone."
The hand on Severus's shoulder started to squeeze him enough that it actually hurt. "You're stronger than the Longbottom's," Draco said, "come on, you can make it through. Please don't go insane."
It was odd, Severus had always imagined that Draco only pretended to like him (though Severus liked him) since Severus was his Head of House and determined how much punishment he did or didn't get. But Draco had never done anything to deserve much punishment. He disobeyed the rules occasionally but what kid didn't? Severus had gotten into more trouble as a student than Draco did. Actually, for a rich spoiled child that was used to having everything handed to him and bought for him, Draco was rather well-behaved. James Potter and Sirius Black had acted much worse than Draco had ever thought of acting. But, because Potter and Black had been Gryffindor's their behavior had been tolerated and smiled upon while Draco's antics were considered sure signs of his inherent evilness.
Even Draco's hexing Potter behind Potter's back had caused Moody (or Crouch Junior) to turn him into a ferret and bounce him around the halls to everyone's great amusement. Severus wondered how Harry Potter would take the news that saintly Black had been rather famous for hexing people behind their backs and he had never got turned into a ferret for it, oh no, just congratulated on a job well done.
Forcing his eyes open, Severus saw a black blur that gave way to a white blur.
"Professor?" came Draco's voice.
Severus forced his aching mouth to form a smile. "Draco," he rasped. "Thanks for visiting."
Draco grinned, the hand on his shoulder still tight. "Can you understand me?" he asked softly.
Severus slid a hand up near his face and lifted one of his fingers in a nod.
"Move your finger up and down twice if you can understand me," Draco said.
Severus did so, feeling his eyes slide shut.
"Tired?"
Severus moved his finger twice before sleep overtook him.
"I hate having greasy hair," his mother said as she dragged out a cauldron and began to fill it with various ingredients, telling him the name of each and the amount of each too.
The potion was rather simple but it used ingredients that Severus would never had thought of using in a potion for hair before.
He sat, perched on a stool, and watched the potion simmer and then bubble while his mother sang a strange song in another language while she danced around the cauldron and him, occasionally stopping by his stool and kissing him on the cheek.
"When can I have a little brother or sister?" Severus asked.
His mother stopped twirling, looked at him, and blushed. "Well, um.. you see..."
Severus folded his arms. "Where do I get one from?"
She laughed. "Jacenty, that's not how it works. You'll get one soon enough, though. And," she smiled, "once its here you will want to send it back!"
"Will not!" Severus said, shaking his head.
His mother smiled at him. "When I had a little sister I wanted her sent back! I even put her on my mother's plate and told her to eat Ilyana so she would go back into her stomach!"
Severus woke to hear two people shouting at each other.
"He understood me!" Draco yelled, angrily.
"Draco," Pomfrey's voice said, soft but angry itself, "Severus is not in any condition to be able to understand anyone right now."
"He..." Draco started.
"Maybe you should leave until you're calm," Lupin's voice suggested.
Draco made a noise. "Fine. I'm fine," he hissed. "I'm not leaving yet."
Severus opened his eyes, finding it much easier to do this time, and saw Draco standing next to his bed, looking hot and angry.
"Draco," Severus said, startling the boy, "can you write something down for me?" he managed to say, though it was tearing his throat up to talk so much.
"Sure," Draco said, without hesitation, conjuring ink, quill, and parchment.
Severus slowly related the potion his mother had made, indicating when each ingredient was supposed to be added and how long it was to simmer for. He also told him all the names he had been hearing so he wouldn't forget one. He collapsed after Ilyana's name was added to the list.
"You see," Draco said, folding up the paper, "he's coherent."
Lupin didn't believe it. "Draco, it's too early to tell."
Draco glared up at him, his face full of hate, and stuffed the parchment into his robe. "I better go. This room is too full of wild animals to suit my taste."
Lupin watched him go, aware that Draco didn't want to go but felt he was being forced to.
"Is he coherent?" Lupin asked, turning to a silent Dumbledore.
Dumbledore glanced at the man on the bed and shrugged, his old face troubled. "I don't know."