A Memory Found
by: Mystical Dragon
Laying on his couch, Severus watched Alphabet chew on her bone, completely content and oblivious to what was happening in the world around her. A dog's life was so simple. Food, water, bones, and affection was all they required. And the daily walk, of course. Too bad he couldn't trade places with her.
Feeling his stomach seizing up again, Severus flipped onto his stomach and closed his eyes, wishing for some wand happy Obliviator to destroy his memory. Little feet settled down on his back and a small Dark Elf began to walked up and down his back. Severus slightly smiled. Ivan could always tell when he was about to lose himself in a depression and would take the necessary steps to pull him out.
"Thanks," Severus said softly. "I'm nervous."
"I know," Ivan said soothingly.
Severus felt him slipping back into the depression as he remembered it was Christmas Eve. He had loved Christmas with Draco and the Lestranges but most of his memories were of standing in some dark alley in Knockturn Alley trying to get warm and thinking of lies to tell his friends about how his holidays went and listing presents to brag about so the Marauders would be jealous. How many children were celebrating Christmas Eve in Knockturn Alley tonight, with no one to care for them?
"Ivan," Severus said, sitting up and rubbing his forehead. "Are you sure that Dark Elf knows what she is doing?"
"Yes, Isadora knows what she is doing," Ivan said, patiently, having gone over this several days already. "Don't worry, you'll get that orphanage in Knockturn Alley soon. Be patient. It's going to take awhile. I'll check on it, if you wish," Ivan said a rather mischievous voice.
Before Severus could tell him not to, Ivan was gone. Severus cursed himself. As a child he had visions of running an orphanage, to make sure those children didn't have to go through what he had, and now, as an adult, Severus couldn't handle doing it. Wasn't he a waste of skin? He had dumped his entire dream on the shoulders of a Dark Elf because he was completely worthless.
A knock on his door and Severus curled back on the sofa, not bothering to ask who it was. That was one thing he hated about staying at Hogwarts, his rooms were easy to get to and he occasionally had the unwelcomed visitor. Hopefully whoever it was would go away. Alphabet, however, jumped up and started to bark. Severus ignored her. But the knocking came again, encouraging Alphabet to bark even louder. Alphabet? What kind of stupid name for a dog was that? Severus had been a complete idiot as a child. It was a wonder the Lestranges and Draco had put up with him.
"I know you're in there!" Draco's voice called. "Ivan told me to stay with you so you didn't get depressed."
Severus didn't move. So that was why Ivan had left. The little sneaky blue git.
"Hello, Alphabet," Draco's voice said, not muffled by wood, as the door closed. "Sorry," not sounding like it, "but I used a spell to unlock your door."
"I don't care," Severus growled. "Just leave."
Draco must not have heard him because Severus heard his chair creak as a body sat in it. Alphabet went back to chewing on her bone, more vigorous now than before. She liked having people around, unlike Severus.
"Want to play chess?" Draco asked.
"No," Severus spat.
"Ivan told me I could stay," Draco went on.
"So my wishes count for nothing?" Severus hissed.
Draco cleared his throat, seemingly ignoring him. "Ivan told me about the orphanage Dark Elf Isadora is working on. That's really cool."
Severus closed his eyes. "Yeah, right. I had to have a Dark Elf do it," he bit out, "because I'm falling apart and couldn't handle it myself. Pathetic," Severus snapped, wishing Draco would go away. He didn't want to see the young man right now, especially not now.
The chair creaked and Severus soon felt Draco sitting at the end of his sofa. Draco picked Severus's feet and started to rub them. It was what Nathan had often done when Severus got upset for no apparent reason.
"Pathetic? Severus, my father has enough money to buy Knockturn Alley. He could have helped those children, many of the rich wizard and witches, could have, but none of them did. Why? Because they don't care. You may not have been able to personally start that orphanage like you wanted to but you provided the money to get it done. That's something. Ivan told me you didn't even ask how much your fortune was when he told you about it. You really think my father would have done something like that? Or me?"
"You would," Severus protest. "And..."
"Ha!" Draco interrupted. "Severus I have changed, thanks to you, but there are still some basic flaws that I have and one of them is that I'm greedy. I like money. I would have given Ivan some of the money for the orphanage but I would have rolled naked in the rest of it."
Severus lifted his head, unsure if Draco was joking or not. "You're not serious, are you?"
Draco looked at him and Severus realized he was. With the Lestranges, Draco had a notebook full of things he wanted to buy. Apparently he still had that list.
"Looks to me like you did plenty," Draco said. "Don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing great. I've very proud of the way you turned out."
Severus put his head back down, not believing him, but Draco's words did sink in. When he came to Hogwarts it had angered him to see so many rich kids wasting their money while he, and the others in Knockturn Alley, had to steal to survive. Severus had vowed that if he ever got rich he would help the kids that got left behind. And.... he had. Severus had kept that vow to himself. He hadn't been able to do it himself but he had provided the money to get it done, like Draco had told him. Maybe he wasn't such a waste of skin after all.
"Thanks, Draco," Severus murmured.
Draco patted his leg. "That's what big brothers are for."
Severus snorted. "You're not my big brother."
"I know," Draco said, sadly. "I wish I was. I know you're embarrassed about how you acted as a child but I loved it. For the first time in my life I felt wanted by someone. Did you know that you are the only person to ever actually listen to me?" Draco admitted, his voice a bit thick.
Forcing himself to sit up, Severus looked at Draco, concerned. "What? What about your parents?"
Draco rolled his eyes. "They only had me because that is what people do. They get married and have a child. It's expected. Neither of my parents wanted a child, they wanted a yes-man. I'm not saying my parents were mean or anything but I never felt wanted. I was just there. Mother and Father never sat and listened to me, unless they felt like being a parent for a few hours. But they were never there when I needed them," Draco smiled at Severus. "With you it was the opposite. You always wanted me around. You listened to me, talked with me, and made me feel like I was somebody important. The first person to ever do that," Draco said, his eyes awfully wet.
Severus felt strange and looked away, embarrassed, unsure of what to say. Having people get teary eyed around him still left Severus feeling uneasy. He had grown up to believe that people that cried, even in private, were wimps. But Draco wasn't a wimp. Still, to show any emotion but anger left Severus feeling vulnerable and he didn't like it.
Draco slid down on the floor and started to rub Severus's feet again.
"My parents pretend to pay attention but they never remember anything I say," Draco sighed.
"Was that why you were so shocked when I could remember that story you made up?" Severus asked.
Draco turned his head around to look at Severus, his eyes still misty. "Yes. I made that story up a long time ago and told my parents about it during dinner once. I mentioned Rocky the Toad Warrior the next day and neither of them had a clue what I was talking about. That was the day I realized my parents didn't care enough about me to pay attention to anything I said. Rather depressing realization. I do think they love me, as much as they can, but I always longed for someone who would want me," Draco smiled. "Like you did."
Feeling his face flush, Severus glanced away to stare at the display cabinet he kept his mother's knife and sword collection in. One was missing, he had sent it, via Ivan, to Mrs. Lestrange as a Christmas gift.
"You're cute when you blush," Draco said.
Severus turned to glare at him. "I'm your teacher! And I'm not cute!"
Draco grinned, an impish one. "Of course, Professor Snape. Where's your glasses?"
"I don't need them," Severus tried.
Rolling his eyes, Draco quickly located them on the mantle where Ivan had put them.
"Wear them, Severus," Draco said. "I don't want you hurting."
Severus wanted to argue but didn't. Slipping the wretched things on, Severus glared at Draco as the young man hid a smile.
"You are quite cute," Draco said, almost pensively.
Severus stared at him. "Sure," he muttered.
"I'm not kidding," Draco said. "Your not gorgeous or anything and I don't think you would want to be, not with how shy you are, but you aren't bad looking."
It was funny, Severus had made Ivan take him out the other day, to a very public place to see if anyone would look at him funny and no one had. Everyone had been too busy doing their own thing to notice him but Severus had felt extremely ugly while standing there. He had been positive every whisper he had heard was a comment about his looks and every giggle was because of how disgusting he looked. Severus had made Ivan take him home immediately and looked in a mirror. What he saw wasn't ugly but Severus couldn't help thinking he was.
"I feel ugly," Severus admitted.
Draco sat down next to him, shoulder to shoulder. "Mr. Lestrange told me it took him quite a while to make you think you weren't ugly and that it would take you even longer to believe that as an adult. It's understandable that you feel that way considering how teased you were about it before."
Severus leaned back against the couch, rubbing his forehead. "I'm sure all the students still think I'm ugly. I guess I better get used to being called names again."
Frowning, Draco looked at him. "I'll beat anyone up who insults you."
Snorting, Severus shook his head. "You'll be fighting all day long."
"So," Draco challenged. "I don't mind. It'll be good practice for me."
Draco had liked doing his martial arts and probably would like to try it on people but Draco wouldn't do it. He was too disciplined.
"Thanks for the offer," Severus smiled. "But I'm used to it. I'll be fine."
"I don't think you're ugly," Draco said. "And my opinion is the only one that counts," Draco said in a rather imperious voice.
Shaking his head, Severus grinned. "I'm glad Ivan told you to come. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you earlier but..."
Draco put a hand on his shoulder, the pressure felt nice. "Don't worry about it. I understand."
Neither of them talked for awhile and Severus felt his body relaxing, though he hadn't realized he had been tense. Draco was one person that Severus didn't have to feel nervous around; Draco already knew everything about him and accepted him. That was a nice feeling. Quite a bit like being around Ivan. Severus liked being around Dumbledore too but he was always nervous in the Headmaster's presence. Not that Severus thought Dumbledore would be mean to him, he just didn't want Dumbledore to think anything bad about him. Though, considering how Severus had treated Dumbledore before, it was amazing the Headmaster had put up with him for this long.
"Want to open presents?" Draco asked.
Severus opened his mouth to say no when he realized there was no one to stop them. It was rather difficult, at times, to remember that he was an adult and not a child anymore. Particularly since he often felt like a child and wanted nothing more to hide under his bed covers.
"Okay," Severus agreed.
Draco grinned, vaulted over the couch, and picked up a box of presents he had left by the door.
"Get yours," Draco said, nodding to the small number of presents under Severus's tree. Ivan had put the tree there, Severus hadn't wanted one.
Gathering the presents, Severus noticed Draco had started a warm blazing fire, as he walked over to him.
Their presents were put in stacks next to each other, Draco had about four times as many.
"Relatives," Draco said with a sigh. "Help me open them," Draco muttered, handing Severus one of them.
"You don't like these presents?" Severus asked, surprised.
Draco shook his head. "Presents from relatives are nothing more than gifts that the relative has decreed you have to have and enjoy having it. I got a picture book meant for three year olds when I was nine and had to pretend to read the thing whenever my Great Aunt came to visit. And then there was the bathing suit that was too small for me. I couldn't tell anyone it was too small for me because Malfoy's don't make mistakes. And there was the toy broomstick I got when I was twelve. If it had been a wooden model I would have liked it but it was a child's toy."
Severus was beginning to see why Draco would be slightly annoyed. These presents were no more than 'duty' presents, given without thought or even knowing anything about Draco.
Helping Draco, Severus ripped open the presents. A book on proper manners while courting (a very out of date book but Severus guess it was given by an older relative), a dress robe that was two sizes too small, a fancy wristwatch (Draco already had four, given by the same relative), several more books on subjects that Severus knew Draco wasn't interested in, and more clothing or accessories. Most of the clothing fit Draco's body but none of it was stuff he would wear. His relatives really didn't know him. Severus wondered what was worse. Not having relatives or having them but knowing they didn't care.
"Now let's open the real ones," Draco said as he tore into two presents at the same time. A box of Every-Flavor Beans, and box of assorted candies. "Vincent and Gregory," Draco grinned. "They always give me candy."
Severus nervously fiddled with one of his presents, even tearing the wrapping paper, as Draco opened the present Severus had given him.
Draco stared the book and then at Severus. There was no mistaking that he liked it.
"Thanks!" Draco said. The book was heavy but Draco hefted without trouble and flipped through it, grinning even wider as he looked at what the book had to offer. The Best of All The Martial Arts was a book written by a man that had taken different styles since he was six, getting a black belt in each one and then moving on. The book was quite useful for people, like Draco, who wanted to learn all different styles and not be confined to just one way of thinking.
"Open yours," Draco said, forcing himself to put his book down. "The green envelope is mine."
Severus picked it up and opened it, taking a small sheet of paper out of it. A handwritten note telling Severus that Draco had paid for an entire years worth of art classes to be held twice a week.
"You'll be studying various media," Draco informed him. "I didn't know if you would like it but I thought it couldn't hurt."
"Thank you," Severus said softly, rather excited. He had always wanted to take an art class but he had never had enough money.
Severus picked up the other card he had been given, one in a red envelope. McGonagall. It was a rather nice card, wishing him a speedy recovery with a gift certificate for the potions shop in Hogsmeade.
"She usually sends me one for the book shop," Severus remarked, carefully putting it back. He liked the potions shop just as much as the book shop so it didn't matter to him.
Dumbledore's came next for both of them. Draco had been given a book on carpentry and Severus got one on Potions. The potions book was extremely old and Severus found, to his delight, that none of the potions had what they were for on the page.
"That's useless," Draco remarked.
"No, it's not," Severus grinned. "I did this for Voldemort once. He had a book he was positive contained Dark Art potions and had me brew them to find out what they did. It was rather neat not knowing what the potion was for and trying to figure it out. Some were easy but some had combinations that were just weird. Which is understandable since the book was written before a person could walk into a potion supply shop and get what they needed; they had to work with what was readily available."
"What was the book for ?" Draco wondered. "Did you ever figure it out?"
Severus grinned. "Yes. I'm pretty sure it was a country family's potion book, a family one, for making their daily chores easier. There was a potion to keep bugs out, very effective, and there was one for curing headaches, I still use that one in fact and potions like. A very useful little book, actually. Voldemort gave it to me when I told him what it was for. He was quite disgusted that he had kept it. I'm not sure why the family, or the person, didn't write what the potion was for on the page. They may have known it so well that they just didn't bother, though," Severus said quietly.
Draco thumped the book. "Can I help you?"
"Sure," Severus said. "It can get pretty interesting trying to figure it out."
The next presents were from the Lestranges. Draco got a book on surviving in the wilderness with just a knife and Severus received a set of pottery brush holders. Each one had a different type of dragon painted onto it.
Dimitrius had also given Severus a present. Two sets of bears. The first set had four bears, two large, one small, one small blue one, and the second set had five bears, two large, two small, one small blue one. His two families. Severus carefully put them on his mantle in their proper groups.
"This one is for both of us," Draco said, lifting it up. "It's signed..." Draco snorted. "The Gryffindors. Must be Lupin's idea. I like Lupin. He's nice."
Severus was surprised. Draco had always hated Lupin. But that had been before all this had happened and things had changed drastically since then.
Draco opened the present, handing Severus a note tucked inside.
We told Ivan to take back the money he put into Harry's account when Dumbledore told us about the orphanage you're funding. Don't worry about paying us back, we don't need the money. Well, Ivan did give Sirius some money, so he and Remus can have enough to live off of until Sirius's name gets cleared and he can access his Gringott's vault again. But don't worry about giving us anymore. It was money well spent. Signed, Harry Potter and Sirius Black
"That's nice of them," Draco said.
Severus stared at the note. He hadn't realized Black and Potter had known he had stolen money from them. He had just figured he could, or rather Ivan, quietly replace the money and they would never know. "They must think I'm an idiot," Severus said.
Well, Black already thought that.
Draco nudged him. "Sev, they thought that before they found out about you being in Knockturn Alley. Now they feel sorry for you."
"Great, now they pity me," Severus ground out, angry.
Draco grinned, rather wickedly. "Pity can be used for one's advantage."
"Draco!" Severus said, shocked. "I would never do that!"
"I would," Draco said, shrugging.
Severus doubted that but then he remembered what Draco had done after that Hippogriff had slashed his arm. Even Severus had given into the sneaky boy.
"Okay, you might," Severus realized.
"I wasn't put into Slytherin just because my father wanted me to be," Draco said, nodding at Severus with a smirk on his face. "I'm a dyed in the wool Slytherin."
Shaking his head, Severus nodded to the present. "Anything else?"
Draco took the rest of the wrapping paper off to reveal two books. One was on potions, Potions Most Difficult, and the other one caused Draco to start laughing as he showed the cover to Severus: How to Improve Your Quidditch Game When Your Parents Bought Your Way Onto the Team.
"Your parents didn't buy your way onto the team," Severus protested. "I let you on because you asked."
Draco grinned. "I know but I told my father I wanted to join and he bought the Quidditch team new brooms to help your decision. Because of that everyone has assumed my Father bought my way onto the team, including my Father."
Severus was annoyed. "The students actually thought I would let your father buy me off?"
Shrugging Draco picked up the book. "Most people are convinced you're favoring me because my father is either buying you off, threatening you, or you're sucking up to him."
Relieved, Severus grinned. "No one suspects it was because I had a crush on your mother?"
Shaking his head, Draco smiled. "No one. And I've never told anyone about that."
Flipping through his book, Draco started to laugh. "Look at this," he said, showing Severus the page. It showed a very rich boy sitting daintily on a broom while holding the beater club between his thumb and one finger, while sneering. "I did that!" Draco laughed. "Marcus Flint didn't want me to be the seeker right off so he had me try the other positions first. Seeker was the only one I wanted so I messed up the rest."
The book wasn't serious, wasn't meant to be, and Draco enjoyed it while Severus flipped through his book on difficult potions. His fingers started to itch to try them out. Between this one, the one Dumbledore had given him, and the art class Draco had signed him up for Severus was going to have an enjoyable year. Too bad he had to teach. He was not looking forward to teaching again. It was a shame Draco couldn't quit school and become his assistant.
Draco finally put his book down and got another present. "From the parents," Draco said ominously. Opening the present, Draco shook his head, his face torn between amusement and irritation.
"What is it?"
Draco lifted the book up. How to Ace the OWLS. "My father is determined that I get higher marks on it than Hermione Granger. He seems to think it is a personal insult that a mudblood is doing better in school than a pure-blood is. I must say, I'm tempted to fail them just to spite him."
"Don't," Severus said. "Don't ruin your life just for that."
Draco looked at him. "I won't. But I'm tempted. I can't help it if Hermione does better than me in school. I don't like sitting around and doing nothing but reading all day. It's boring. I'd rather climb mountains, ride a bicycle or broom, fix my truck, or something physical like that."
Scratching his head, Severus tried to think of an occupation in the Wizarding world that required physical movement and would appeal to Draco. He could think of none. "With your parents money, maybe you could start a martial arts school? I don't think anyone in the Wizarding World has done that so far."
Draco looked intrigued. "That's a great idea! Especially with Death Eaters like Mr. Lestrange who will just kick the wand out of your hand so you can't rely on magic anymore."
Severus laughed as Draco scowled, remembering Nathan doing exactly that to Draco. That had been the day Draco had realized how vulnerable wizards and witches were for relying totally on magic when they could only use magic effectively with a wand. Once that wand was gone, they were in trouble.
"My hand hurt from that kick for weeks!" Draco muttered.
"Weeks?" Severus questioned.
Draco shrugged. "An hour at least."
"What's your next one?" Draco asked, pointing to the last of Severus's presents while Draco opened his last one.
No name but Severus knew it was from Ivan. The Dark Elf never bothered to put his name on his presents.
Draco had gotten a necklace with a snake charm on it. "Cool," Draco said, slipping it on.
Severus also got the same one and a book on how to teach children potions so they could understand them while still passing the OWLS and NEWTS. Those stupid tests had been a sore point for Severus for some time. There was so much information that the students had to know and not enough time for them to learn it all in that most students just memorized facts without really understanding anything about potions. Severus often felt like he wasn't teaching potions but teaching them how to pass a test. But he has also been too shy to teach them in any other way.
"Put yours on," Draco said.
Severus did and stared at his stack of presents. Gathering them up he carefully put them in his cabinet, out of harms way, and watched as Draco did the same.
Turning around, both of them stepped back into the cabinet, their bodies frozen in shock.
Two... people(?) were standing there, both with long white hair (to their ankles), white skin that had a bluish tint to it and while they both looked scary they were smiling in a way that set Severus at ease. One had purple eyes and the one had blue.
"Ivan?" Severus suddenly realized.
The purpled-eyed one nodded. "Yes. I didn't think you knew. Dark Elves have three forms; the small blue one, this one, and our regular one. In this form we are too disturbing looking for humans to be comfortable dealing with us so we rarely use it."
Severus could understand that. Severus preferred the small blue one.
"My name is Isadora," the blue eyed one said. "The one doing the orphanage for you. I just thought I would come and thank you for letting me run it."
"How's it going?" Severus wondered.
"It is going nicely," Isadora said. "Hopefully by this summer it will be running smoothly and you can come visit then. I did want to thank you before but Ivan wasn't sure how you would react to it if you were alone so he waited until you had a friend with you."
Severus was quite grateful for that. Being alone in the room with two human looking Dark Elves would not have been pleasant.
Isadora smiled again and popped away. Ivan immediately changed back into his blue form.
"Sorry about that but Isadora refuses to use any form but the human or her real one," Ivan said with a shrug as both Severus and Draco relaxed.
Severus stared at the blue elf for a few seconds more. Draco couldn't be his assistant but Ivan, in his human form, could be.
"When classes start again," Severus tried, "would you mind teaching with me? You have a human form so no one realize what you were."
Grinning, Ivan nodded. "I would love to, Jacenty. No Hogwarts student should know what I am. Humans used to know Dark Elves had a human form and they knew us on sight but that knowledge seems to have been lost," Ivan said, his voice contemplating. " I would love to help you out."
Severus, feeling quite relieved, looked at Ivan and Draco. "Want to play a game?"
"What about Dumbledore's permission?" Draco asked. "He's going to have to approve."
Severus didn't think Dumbledore would mind. At least he hoped not. "I'll ask him tomorrow."
*****************************************************************************
Dumbledore was worried. He hadn't seen Severus for awhile and wondered how he was doing.
Going into the kitchens, Dumbledore waved Dobby over to him.
"Dobby, I would like to check on Severus," Dumbledore said. "Can you make us both invisible and pop us in there?"
Dobby nodded his head, he's ears flapping. "Yes. Dobby has been going to Professor Snape's room quite a bit tonight."
"Why?" Dumbledore asked. Severus, to his knowledge, rarely called the House-elves.
Dobby grinned. "Candy, pizza, popcorn, ice cream, cookies, chocolate everything, cinnamon rolls, potato chips, cheese, sugared milk and whatever else they's will think up."
It didn't sound like Severus had sunken into a depression and it appeared he might have more company besides just Ivan. "I see," Dumbledore said, amused.
Shaking his head, Dobby popped them both in and Dumbledore had to snort. Food was everywhere, a TV was playing a movie (Ivan had asked him for permission to allow electronics and Dumbledore had given it), and Severus, Draco, Ivan were playing Monopoly.
And they were all cheating, badly. Every time one would watch the movie for more than a few seconds one of the others would take some money from the bank, or take a property card, or move their piece (or the other person's), or change the dice. Accusations kept flying but none of them would confess though Dumbledore imagined they all knew they were all cheating. It did make a game that could be slightly boring more interesting.
"I'm going to be sick," Severus remarked as he pulled away from the game and leaned his back against the sofa. "I can't finish the game."
Draco smirked. "You never can. Unlike you, I have a steel stomach," Draco said while eating a large piece of pizza to prove his point.
Severus made a face and shuddered. "Oh, if I even think about eating I'm going to throw up."
"Don't do it in here," Draco laughed. "I told you to watch the chocolate."
"It was worth it," Severus said, slipping to the floor and laying there, prone.
Ivan shook his head and floated an entire pizza over to him and started to eat it. Draco and him were soon engaged in an eating contest while Severus watched the movie, dozing.
"You can take me back," Dumbledore said, satisfied, as Draco started to turn green.
Dumbledore was anxious for classes to start again to see how Severus had changed in regards to the students and staff. It would be interesting to see.