Okay, I just want to say that when I wrote this Connor had only just appeared on Angel and I really didn't think about him so he isn't in this fic.





4. The lady doth protest too much?







"Momma, you dropped." I saw the grocery bag on the pavement by the car and realised that that was the one with the eggs in it. "Shit!" I muttered to myself, hoping Aya didn't hear me. "You said shit Momma!" She told me in her sweet voice.

"No I didn't, I said.sugar, that's what I said." She crossed her arms on her chest, something she had picked up from Andy and looked at me with an expression that was far beyond her years that told me I wasn't fooling her even a little bit. I abandoned the grocery bags by the car and picked her up, swinging her around the lawn that fronted our apartment building. After a few minutes we collapsed onto the grass, giggling. As I went to get up a voice that I knew better than my own interrupted my thoughts.

"Can I help you up?" He offered his hand, which I took reluctantly, and he pulled me up.

"Angel, what are you doing here?" I asked, aware that my daughter was very interested in what was going on. I'd only seen him yesterday and as much as I had tried I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. He didn't say anything so I did. "How did you know I lived here?" This time his face betrayed his emotion, of guilt and I realised. "You followed me?"

"Sorry, old habit. I had to see you again." And I suddenly saw that he was here, in daylight.

"I thought that you destroyed the ring of Amara." He smiled though he looked a little uncomfortable.

"I did." He said after a short pause. I stared at him. He couldn't be.there was no way, was there? Something made my hand move to rest on his chest. ~Thump Thump~ I almost jumped back in astonishment. He was human!

"You're."

"Human, Yes I am." He confirmed, he put his hand on top of mine, but I pulled mine back, cursing myself for being so stupid. He was human, so what? He was probably with Cordelia and they were probably very happy together.

"How?"

"It was my reward Buffy, I stopped the End of Days so." I nodded, still shocked but not enough to compel me to ask him anymore than that.

"So why are you here?"

"I told you I needed to see you. I couldn't just leave things the way they were. Buffy, I hadn't seen you in four years."

"Why couldn't you leave it, I'm fine here." He looked at me.

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Aya started pulling at my skirt so I picked her up. She was looking at Angel. "Aya, this is my old friend Angel, Angel this is my daughter Aya." She held out her hand to shake his. It was so adorable, though my worry about Angel's presence meant that I was too distracted to really appreciate it.

"Hi, I'm Ayanna Dawn Summers." Sometimes she likes to introduce herself to people like that, it's very sweet. I suspect it's a very early rebellion, something to do with how everyone calls her Aya for short. She doesn't mind it really but still. Angel smiled at her,

"Hey Ayanna." He said, and she beamed at him. I went to retrieve the grocery shopping from the ground and the car.

"Can I help you?" Why did he have to be a gentleman when I was trying so hard to find reasons to dislike him? At that moment, Richard came out of the building where I saw him wave at Aya and pick her up, walking over towards us. Strangely I felt Angel tense beside me. I didn't know why, he had no right to be jealous, besides he was with her.

"Hey Beth." He greeted me, "Hello." He directed at Angel who grudgingly shook his hand.

"Hey Richard, this is Angel. Angel this is Richard." Richard sensed the tension and said he'd take some bags inside for me. Aya went with him. It didn't do much for the atmosphere though.

"Is he.your husband?" Angel asked, his voice sounded weird, strained. And I turned to look at him. Why was he being so odd?

"No, Angel, he isn't my husband, just a good neighbour and friend." I shut the trunk and locked the car. I must be hearing things because I could have sworn that he sighed, relieved.

"So, you aren't.married?" What business was it of his? If he still love.no he didn't so it wasn't worth even wondering.

"No, I'm not married Angel, but while we're on the subject of marriage, what about you? How's Cordy?" I said trying to disguise the bitterness in my voice.

"Cordy? What?" He tried to look confused.

"I know about you two, so don't try to deny it." He seemed to get what I meant this time.

"You knew about us, that we were together?"

"Yes? What do you mean were?" This time I failed to keep the interest out of my voice.

"We were only together for a short time. We ended it when it was clear I couldn't get past.you."

"Oh." I said, to no one in particular. He stood right in front of me, blocking my way to the building.

"I'm not married Buffy, You were the only one I ever wanted...please talk to me, this isn't you."

"How would you know?"

"Okay, Beth, is this really you?"

"Beth is more normal than Buffy, I left her behind."

"No, I don't think you did Buffy, I knew you, I still know you and this isn't you, not really, this charade is not you. You need to talk to me, please." I looked into his pleading brown eyes and felt myself beginning to melt under his gaze before I pulled myself back. I nearly gave in, but I couldn't do what he was asking.

"I can't talk about it Angel, I'm not ready. Please leave me alone."

"Buffy, you can't hide who you are, I know you."

"Angel, I'm not ready to talk and I'm not ready to go back, I may never be. I'm sorry." I pushed past him and headed up the path.

"What about Willow, what do I tell her?" I turned slightly,

"You told her?"

"I told her I thought it was you."

"Tell her what I told you. I'm happy here, I can't go back and that I love her."













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