Hey hey,

Thanks for all the reviews everyone.  I just wanted to let everyone know the reason I don't use New York accents is not because im lazy, but rather because I believe it would butcher the text if I did it.   Love to all

Disclaimer: I do not own the Newsies or the Muppets (although the giggling nuns idea is totally mine lol)

            "So where have you been all my life," said Ms. Piggy as she and Jack began to make their way downtown.

            "Around," said Jack.

            "Okay I'm going to cut right to the chase.  I know I'm unbearably attractive, but you are just going to have to control those teen age hormones until……………..NOW.  Let's make our way back to my apartment and forget about those silly papers for today."

            "Uhhh lady not only do teen age boys have raging hormones we also have raging appetites.  So unless your apartment is the freakin gingerbread house I sure do hope you're coming with me to my sellin' spot for the day."

            "Hrumphhhhh"

            Jack and Ms. Piggy continued down the street towards Medda's where Jack positioned himself by the door as the customers flowed in.  Ms. Piggy would occasionally get stares, she responded in three ways.

Staring them down Sticking her porky hand in their face and shout "Talk to the hoof/hand!" Licking her lips (if they were even remotely good-looking).

After Ms. Piggy performed one of these actions Jack would just give the man an all-knowing look.

Kid Blink walked up the street and shouted from up the block, "Hey Jack.  Oh and umm hello…………?"

            "Ms. Piggy" she said

            "Pleasure"

            "Most certainly," she said as she pinched his ample bottom.

            "Ow, why did you do that!!??," Kid Blink said as he ran off crying, he had been……SCANDALIZED.

            "You really gotta watch what you did to that kid, he's real sensitive," chastised Jack

            "He needs to not be such a wussy!" Ms. Piggy shrieked as she vigorously banged her head.

            The one thing positive about this newbie was the fact that she was selling a ton of papers.  Jack was of course unaware that the reason for this was she head-banged anyone how wouldn't buy a paper.  He realized he would have to get used to this constantly flirty (if that's what you call it) Ms. Piggy, he knew he was going to miss having his personal bubble not invaded.  They were walking back to the lodging house when Ms. Piggy started complaining of a stomach ache.

            "Perhaps it's because you're hungry," suggested Jack

            "O yes that must be it."

            "We can go to a great place I know called Tibby's."

            They walked over to Tibby's.  When asked what she was going to order Ms. Piggy promptly said, "Six roast beef sandwiches."  All Jack could do was hope that eventually this crazy lady would pay him back.  They left Tibby's and walked back to the lodging house.  Before they went inside Ms. Piggy seemed intent on staying outside(*I know that sounds silly but whatever*).  She was putting pressure on Jack to give him a goodnight kiss.  Jack was continuously adamant to this proposal.

            "NO," said Jack firmly.

            "Fine, you don't want Ms. Piggy lovin then your gonna get some Ms.  Piggy THUGGIN'!" she cackled as she head-banged(*I don't know if that is the word for it but whatever*) Jack al a Jack.  As she walked into the moonlight Jack finally realized he found his soul-mate.

Tee hee.  It is so much fun writing comedy.  Much less depressing then the serious stuff.  I hope your enjoying this as much as I am

Love

Yoli