Ashes of Truth
By Anisky

Disclaimer: Lucy and anyone else who you recognize does not belong to me.

Chapter 4: A Simple Kiss




Journal, it occurs to me that I've never told you how I first met Cassie, and I decided that as long as I'm sorting everything else out, I may as well tell you.

Look at me, I'm acting as if my diary can actually understand.  Oh well.  As Cassie would say, "Hey, books have feelings too ya know!" So, well, anyway.

When I first saw Cassie, I didn't think about it much.  At first she seemed kind of odd, like she didn't belong there.  For one thing she seemed much too enthusiastic and informed to be in a community college.  For another she dressed oddly; nothing really out there, but she'd be known to have flow-y skirts and bright, bright colors. 

She says that there's not enough color anymore, and I think she's right.

I had English with her and she always had the most interesting ideas about the poetry we were reading, or stories, or about the writers themselves.  She seemed so alive, so happy when she talked about that sort of thing, and I decided to really try and understand what she was saying.  A whole new world opened up to me!  I researched and thought hard about what we read, and pretty soon we started having animated arguments… or discussions, I guess…  in class.  The teacher was thrilled, and everyone else was glad for a chance to just sit back and not be expected to do anything.

Then one day, she stopped me after class. 


***

Lucy looked up, shielding her eyes from the bright morning sun.  It was a Tuesday, and she had class in half an hour.  Lucy had chosen to sit on campus and write in her journal so that she wouldn't have to worry about shielding it from anyone who came into the room.  She was leaning against a tree, but some of the leaves had blown aside and now the sun was in her eyes.  She shifted to the side, smiling as she remembered that day.


***

She told me that she really enjoyed the debates with me, and she thought it might be fun to hang out after class sometime.  I told her that I was free right then, so she smiled and started walking with me.

I asked her what I'd been wondering, about why she was at Glen Oak Community College when obviously she was both smart and enthusiastic.  She told me that she watched people get eaten up by stress, first at high school then even worse at college.  Most of them went on to live stressful jobs and barely even got a reprieve from worry and overwork until they were retired. 

She looked me straight in the eye, and said, "I'm not going to go through that.  I can't."

Or something like that, anyway.

I was uncomfortable at the look in her eyes, and turned to keep walking. She followed me, and asked me the same question, why I was there. 

I told her about Jeremy and how he'd broken up with me, but she just stared at me looking confused.  "So?" she'd asked.  She just couldn't understand why I wouldn't go to college because my fiancé dumped me.  She says she thinks I got too dependent on my boyfriend… didn't say it then of course, she said it later after she knew me… anyway, she may be right.  I don't know. 


***

Lucy sighed, tapping her pen against the paper.  The page was nearly empty, as she'd just turned the page, and she had to admit that there was a certain fitting simplicity to the barely-filled page.  It was like her life, or at least, any meaning in it.  Only starting to be written in.  Inspired by a certain flame-haired girl.

"Hey, beautiful," Lucy heard a voice and started, pulled out of her thoughts.  She looked up and saw the exact same fiery girl that had been encompassing her thoughts smiling down at her. 

"Hey there," Lucy replied. She placed her pen into her diary, closing it and setting it down next to her.  "You're here early."

"Class starts in ten minutes, Luce," Cassie plopped down in front of Lucy, sitting Indian style and looking at her friend intently.

"Really?" The girl started and looked at her watch.  "Whoa, you're right. Time flies I guess."

"Writing in your journal again?" asked Cassie, picking it up from next to Lucy.  "That's good.  I'm glad.  It's good for you to get your thoughts down.  From what I read in the entry you gave me it's doing you good.  Though I wish you weren't so hard on yourself. " She brushed off the cover of the journal, looking at the floral print on the front, then turning it to the side to look at the pages, running her finger gently over the places where Lucy had ripped out the pages.

Lucy saw Cassie's motions.  "That's where I ripped out the pages when I talked about you.  Before I gave the entries to you, I burned them." 

Cassie just nodded, handing the journal back to Lucy.  "Class is starting soon.  Come on."  She shifted her weight to stand.

"Wait!" Lucy suddenly reached out and grabbed Cassie's wrist to prevent her from standing up.  "I… we haven't kissed again since that first day.  I wasn't sure about things, and was confused…"

Cassie misunderstood what her friend was saying.  "Lucy, it's alright, there is absolutely no pressure, you don't need to—"

"No, that's not what I mean."  Lucy got up onto her knees, leaning in towards Cassie.  "I think this explanation requires… a physical example."

With that, Lucy leaned over and, closing her eyes, pressed her lips against those of the girl she loved.