As Beautiful As You Want To

By Fantasy Cat

Chapter Four: Ed the Empress?!

Throughout all of the massive chaos, Harrison decided to drive as far and as fast as he could. He turned the radio. 'Too late', he thought and damned himself. The Handicap General had already put out a nationwide alert. The bounty was increased to 200 million wulong and was expected to rise even higher.

All the while, he still had to deal with his hostage in the passenger seat.

"We're are Edward and crazy bounty person going to?!"

"I dunno, and I don't care, just as long as we get away from people, that's our main goal."

"GOALLLLLL!" Ed must've thought this was soccer. Or maybe she was just pretending.

After eight hours of endless and speedy driving, Harrison had just driven into the Arizona state borders when he realized the gas tank was at it's death end. He had to stop somewhere. Then he noticed the abandoned motel down the block. "Perfect", he said. "That damn Handicap General gots no brains to find me here.

Harrison abandoned the truck they got away in, and he dragged Ed for what seemed like a mile to the motel. It was empty, just as he hoped it would be. He kicked down one of the room doors and brought Ed inside.

"Let's these handicaps of off you," he told Ed as he went to work. Harrison fiddled with some wires stuck to Ed's back neck while attempting to remove her head-band. She had some strong metal handicaps braced to her legs, but Harrison seemed to have stripped them off with ease, seeing that he was muscular.

"OW! Bounty person hurting Ed!"

"Relax kid, you don't have to talk like that now, I took off your handicaps. Wait a minute? Who's Ed?"

"Ed is Ed."

"You're Ed."

"Yuppy-doo."

"Hmm. I don't even know why they bother putting handicaps on you. You're not at all what I was expecting from a girl my age." Harrison began to chuckle and wondered to himself. Who the hell does he have with him?

Harrison started to notice even more strange things about Ed when she began to pull out Tomato from her backpack and went to work on something. Harrison looked over her with curiosity.

"What's with all the smiley faces...wait. Are you a hacker?"

"Ed hack lot of things yup, yup."

"Hmm...Tell me, Ed. What if I pay you something to do some hacking for me."

"For bounty-person."

"Oh, Ed. That's what everyone is thinking. I'm really not the bad guy here. I'm trying to save the world. You see, not too long ago, there was a strange new government that was forming here in the States, and everyone was so impressed by them, that they decided that they had to have their Presidents, their Congressmen, their Court Justices, every single government official had to be from that one party. But do you know what they did to us? They added Amendments. They added the strangest most horrifying, most terrible Amendments to the Constitution. And they passed. You wanna know how? Through threats and bribery. It got so popular, that there are countries outside the U.S. doing it too. It's all part of this government's conspiracy. They're trying to take over the world by forcing everyone to believe that every single person must be exactly the same...in size, in intelligence, and in beauty! It has to be stopped, don't you see?"

"What bounty-person want Ed to do?"

"Simple enough. All you need to do is hack into the U.S. Constitution and erase those Amendments. They cant make us follow them if they're not written in there."

"Ed will do it for souvenir."

"Uh, sure kid. Why don't I go find one while you get to work, ok?"

"Okie Dokie."

Harrison was out of the room when Ed decided to begin her work. She decided to contact the Bebop crew because she knew that they would be worried about them. She ranged them up on her computer.

Faye's face appeared, "Hello? Ed?!"

"Hi Faye-Faye."

"Ed, where the hell are you?!" Spike butted in in front of the screen.

"Ed got bounty person. Ed hacking Constitution."

"Now Ed," said Faye. "You know it's wrong to be helping a bounty. Now just give us your coordinates and will fly over there to get the both of you, and then we'll all go home, we'll cash in the sweet 200 million, and I'll finally have these handicaps gone! Speaking of which, what happened to yours?!"

"Bounty person took off Ed's handicaps," Ed spoke with a grin. "Ed give coordinates to come and pick me up, okie do." She then hung up.

So Ed was already at work screwing up the U.S. Constitution which was now electronic seeing that there were now 216 Amendments and the original written copy was too screwed up.

Halfway through the job, some loud noises were being heard from outside the motel room. Harrison began to panic.

"Aw, shit. It's the Feds! Close it down, Ed. Close it down!" Harrison peeked outside the window to determine if it was safer to run or hide. Two small ships were parking along the dusty lot. He ran over to Ed. "We gotta hide." He grabbed her who was still grasping on tomato and they hid behind the bathroom door.

After what it seemed like a never ending nightmare the arrivals busted into the motel room.

"Ding-dong. Bounty hunters."

"You're hilarious, Spike," Faye said as they entered the room. When Ed noticed who was there she jumped out of her hiding place to greet her friends. "Faye-Faye. Spike-person. You found Edward!"

"Yeah, we did," said Spike with Ed grasping onto to his legs like always.

"Where's Ein and Jet-person?"

"They had to go deal with a Bebop that got mysteriously towed away," said Faye as she thought back on the bad thought of never getting off of this cursed planet.

While this distraction was occurring, Harrison took his chances and tried to make a getaway through the bathroom window.

"Hold it right there, Boyo," Spike had his gun pointing in Harrison's direction. But Harrison only bothered to freeze for one second and made his escape. But when Harrison got outside, his luck ran out on him. Some other ships had already arrived on the scene. He knew who they were. They had the signs on him. They were government ships. Harrison took his chances for a clean break into the desert. a loud voice yelled "Send some out! Follow him! Follow him!" At the command, three federal ships went out into the desert. Fortunately for Harrison, he was an excellent runner, perhaps a little too fast for the ships. Spike, Faye and Ed stepped outside to witness all of the commotion, but Harrison and the ships following him were already at the horizon.

One of the ships that stayed behind in the lot was a big massive ship. When the door opened a band of armed officers came down some steps. At the bottom they spitted up to show the bounty hunters the woman they were guarding.

"Thanks for the assistance, Lady. But I could've kept him from getting away myself." Spike began to contradict the woman. She was getting pissed.

"Sir, that is a governmental offense and I can have you arrested for it! Unless, you explain to me exactly who you are."

"I'm a bounty hunter!" said Spike. "She's a bounty hunter (pointing to Faye) and she's a bounty hunter! And who may I ask are you supposed to be?!"

"I am Diana Moon Glampers. I am the Handicap General."

TBC in Chap 5

I think I'll stop here. Man, I'm beat! Is it really 1:30am on my alarm clock? Oh well, review and nighty night. I have a big surprise planned for the next chapter, you will so freak!