After hearing about Mary Sue alot and thinking about my first fic, I
figured I messed up in how I portrayed Kousei. I did give Kousei flaws, but
I wanted everyone to be jealous so I hid her flaws for a scene... so, I
decided to rewrite it! And in this version, everyone is jealous but
Kousei's flaws shine through! Please remember that this is a rough draft
and the last part concerning the steak was all from the original.
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"I heard that Kousei is one of the most beautiful women in the world..." Rowen said dreamily.
Ryo sighed, "I can't believe Kento has a girlfriend..."
Sai exclaimed, "And he never told us about her! He's been dating the most beautiful and the most elegant woman in the world for years!"
Rowen exclaimed, "And Kousei is really rich and she is attending the absolute best school in the world. An elite education..."
When the afternoon turned into the evening, they were jittery with excitement. Ryo in his nervousness brushed White Blaze so hard and so much until the poor tiger was shedding everywhere. Rowen could not concentrate on his homework; he eventually failed that assignment. Sai checked on the food constantly while Kento paced incessantly. Finally, a car pulled up near their driveway. Kento zoomed over to the window, looked out, and exclaimed, "Kousei's here!" Then, the Ronin Warrior of Justice mumbled to himself, "And she's so perfect..." and then he ran out the door.
Sai instantly peeked through the window. His jaw dropped instantly in shock.
Rowen grinned, believing that Kousei was more beautiful and more intelligent than imagined. Then, he also looked out the window, but to his dismay... "She's fat! Hideous!"
Ryo ran over to his friends, hoping Rowen said only lies. "Well, her hair is kinda pretty... Doesn't match her eyes though."
Rowen breathed deeply to regain his composure. "She has too much blue."
Sai and Ryo eyed him curiously.
Then, Sai tried to comfort his friends somewhat. "Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder..."
Rowen shuddered, "I can't believe the entire world has such a perverted sense of beauty!"
In spite of their disappointment, the three Ronins tried to be polite when Kousei entered with Kento as her escort. Kousei's voice was high-pitched, but not unbearable. However, the Ronins did not want to be near her whenever she had to raise her voice. After Kento introduced everyone, they sat down for dinner.
"So, what do you do? Do you have a job or anything?" Ryo asked, feeling like that was a stupid question.
"I study Creochi energy." Kousei shrugged. "My 'influential and all- powerful' great-grandmother thought I should learn about it, so she made a deal with some scientists and left me there at the capital." Then, she unceremoniously shoved a spoonful of food in her mouth. "Really," Kousei mumbled with a mouthful of food, "Great-grandmother doesn't understand how boring and useless that class is! I certainly don't learn anything there."
"Are you, um, skipping class?" Rowen whispered a fear.
"Yes," Kousei replied modestly. There was really nothing they could do about it.
Rowen's face whitened as he glanced from Kousei to Kento nervously. Kousei was a disrespectful student who disregarded one of the best educations in the world!
Kousei kept eyeing Ryo. She thought Kento said he had long hair. Instead of having long glorious black strands, Ryo had relatively short and fuzzy hair. "I really love your hair," she said to him, trying to strike up a conversation. "Did you cut it recently?" Ryo replied with a somber, dumbfounded, and embarrassed expression. Kousei decided to let the hair topic drop.
Kento, sitting next to Kousei, promptly began slicing and dicing his first steak and shoving it into his mouth. Kousei deftly snatched his second steak and put it onto her plate. He saw her fork coming closer to his plate, but his reflexes were too slow and he ended up stabbing the table with his own fork. Everybody for some strange reason watched the two. This was the first time that they witnessed the game which has been going on between the two for well over a decade.
Then, it became a battle of stares over a steak. First, Kento tried to give her an icy cold no-nonsense glare. Kousei was used to seeing that expression of course. She flashed him one of her coyest, most coquettish expressions. Kento continued with his evil glares until her expression became too cute to resist.
"Fine," he sighed, leaning back in his chair. "You win."
Kousei patted him on his shoulder, "I knew you'd understand."
Then, Kento did something that surprised them all. He refused to eat. The Ronin Warrior of Justice held an expression of sorrow. His eyes got big and wide as he looked up at the ceiling. He seemed as though he was about to cry.
Kousei eyed him warily. "Tristan, there's food on your plate. You love food. You should eat." His lower lip quivered as his eyes got even wider, swelling up with tears. "Tristan, this is very unbecoming of you. Now, eat." His face truly looked pathetic. "Feh. Fine," Kousei grumbled.
"Thank you!" Kento said cheerfully as he took back his own steak.
Kousei stole one of Sai's steaks instead and dinner went by quietly without further incidents.
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Please remember that this is a rough draft and the last part concerning the steak was all from the original. Review please!
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"I heard that Kousei is one of the most beautiful women in the world..." Rowen said dreamily.
Ryo sighed, "I can't believe Kento has a girlfriend..."
Sai exclaimed, "And he never told us about her! He's been dating the most beautiful and the most elegant woman in the world for years!"
Rowen exclaimed, "And Kousei is really rich and she is attending the absolute best school in the world. An elite education..."
When the afternoon turned into the evening, they were jittery with excitement. Ryo in his nervousness brushed White Blaze so hard and so much until the poor tiger was shedding everywhere. Rowen could not concentrate on his homework; he eventually failed that assignment. Sai checked on the food constantly while Kento paced incessantly. Finally, a car pulled up near their driveway. Kento zoomed over to the window, looked out, and exclaimed, "Kousei's here!" Then, the Ronin Warrior of Justice mumbled to himself, "And she's so perfect..." and then he ran out the door.
Sai instantly peeked through the window. His jaw dropped instantly in shock.
Rowen grinned, believing that Kousei was more beautiful and more intelligent than imagined. Then, he also looked out the window, but to his dismay... "She's fat! Hideous!"
Ryo ran over to his friends, hoping Rowen said only lies. "Well, her hair is kinda pretty... Doesn't match her eyes though."
Rowen breathed deeply to regain his composure. "She has too much blue."
Sai and Ryo eyed him curiously.
Then, Sai tried to comfort his friends somewhat. "Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder..."
Rowen shuddered, "I can't believe the entire world has such a perverted sense of beauty!"
In spite of their disappointment, the three Ronins tried to be polite when Kousei entered with Kento as her escort. Kousei's voice was high-pitched, but not unbearable. However, the Ronins did not want to be near her whenever she had to raise her voice. After Kento introduced everyone, they sat down for dinner.
"So, what do you do? Do you have a job or anything?" Ryo asked, feeling like that was a stupid question.
"I study Creochi energy." Kousei shrugged. "My 'influential and all- powerful' great-grandmother thought I should learn about it, so she made a deal with some scientists and left me there at the capital." Then, she unceremoniously shoved a spoonful of food in her mouth. "Really," Kousei mumbled with a mouthful of food, "Great-grandmother doesn't understand how boring and useless that class is! I certainly don't learn anything there."
"Are you, um, skipping class?" Rowen whispered a fear.
"Yes," Kousei replied modestly. There was really nothing they could do about it.
Rowen's face whitened as he glanced from Kousei to Kento nervously. Kousei was a disrespectful student who disregarded one of the best educations in the world!
Kousei kept eyeing Ryo. She thought Kento said he had long hair. Instead of having long glorious black strands, Ryo had relatively short and fuzzy hair. "I really love your hair," she said to him, trying to strike up a conversation. "Did you cut it recently?" Ryo replied with a somber, dumbfounded, and embarrassed expression. Kousei decided to let the hair topic drop.
Kento, sitting next to Kousei, promptly began slicing and dicing his first steak and shoving it into his mouth. Kousei deftly snatched his second steak and put it onto her plate. He saw her fork coming closer to his plate, but his reflexes were too slow and he ended up stabbing the table with his own fork. Everybody for some strange reason watched the two. This was the first time that they witnessed the game which has been going on between the two for well over a decade.
Then, it became a battle of stares over a steak. First, Kento tried to give her an icy cold no-nonsense glare. Kousei was used to seeing that expression of course. She flashed him one of her coyest, most coquettish expressions. Kento continued with his evil glares until her expression became too cute to resist.
"Fine," he sighed, leaning back in his chair. "You win."
Kousei patted him on his shoulder, "I knew you'd understand."
Then, Kento did something that surprised them all. He refused to eat. The Ronin Warrior of Justice held an expression of sorrow. His eyes got big and wide as he looked up at the ceiling. He seemed as though he was about to cry.
Kousei eyed him warily. "Tristan, there's food on your plate. You love food. You should eat." His lower lip quivered as his eyes got even wider, swelling up with tears. "Tristan, this is very unbecoming of you. Now, eat." His face truly looked pathetic. "Feh. Fine," Kousei grumbled.
"Thank you!" Kento said cheerfully as he took back his own steak.
Kousei stole one of Sai's steaks instead and dinner went by quietly without further incidents.
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Please remember that this is a rough draft and the last part concerning the steak was all from the original. Review please!