"Yeah, so then I went up to the witch and was about to stab her. But then-" said a high pitched nasal voice, from a close by cage.
Prue suppressed a scream and dolefully leant backwards. "I swear to god, if you don't shut your goddamn mouth I'll kill you." She shuffled on the hard stone floor and then looked towards the direction of the voice.
"Hey! Don't get pissy with me because you're trapped in The Underworld." Retorted a greasy looking warlock. His thin face was tapered at the end and sported a whispy black beard. "And you can't kill me. See?" He reached out and tapped the iron bars, and then pressed against the force shield like barrier that had sprung up.
"I'm not pissy because I'm trapped in The Underworld. I'm pissy because you won't shut up with the stories. Everyday it's another pathetic anecdote from the suckiest warlock that ever lived. Have you even killed... anything... ever?"
There was a long pause and Prue slowly smiled. A quick barrage of insults usually shut him up for a while. A few minutes later her silence was broken by the familiar nasal twang.
"Actually yes. I did kill something." He paused and looked expectantly across at Prue.
Prue bit her lip and tried not to swear as she pointedly shook her head.
"Awww come on. Ask me what it was. Ask me what I killed. Please? I won't shut up if you don't ask me." He wheedled, and gave Prue a hopeful look.
"You won't shut up even if I do ask you. So I don't see why I should do you any favours." She said curtly, and then turned away from him and began to press against the bars with the soles of her feet.
He was quiet again for a few minutes, and then suddenly spoke up. "Ok, so I'll tell you. I can see you are dying of suspense."
"Oh what gave it away?" Muttered Prue sarcastically as she gave the bars an extra hard kick.
"What was that? Never mind, anyways. Hey, where was I?" He looked puzzled stared at Prue.
"Oh for the love of-" She started and then turned to face her neighbour, a stony look on her face. "You were about to dazzle me with a tale of your one and only vanquish. And for your sake this better be good..."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He saw the murderous look in her eye and gulped twice. "Oh. Well, oh yeah. Back to my kill. I was tracking a witch or somebody, I can't remember, it was some kind of innocent. Ok... yeah. And then I had her all alone and then I threw an athame at her. But then suddenly another demon shimmered in... right into the path of the athame. He got vanquished and the witch or whatever got away..." He trailed off and began to twiddle his thumbs, not know what to say.
Prue was silently laughing, her shoulders rocking and chest heaving. She wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath... before dissolving into giggles again.
"Hey! What's so funny? You gotta problem with my story?" Said the warlock indignantly, as he glared at Prue.
"I- well-" Prue wiped the last of her tears away and took another deep breath. "Its just funny that you are a demon, and you've only done one kill... which was another demon. And you only killed him by accident." She stopped and gave him a slightly apologetic look. "Its kinda sad really, if you think about it..."
There was an awkward silence as the warlock contemplated her words. "You know, I think you just say these things to hurt me. You aren't nice." He began to pout and frown.
"Oh stop frowning, you'll get wrinkles. And that pouting only makes you seem even more pathetic than you already are... which is *really* something." Prue replied, a scornful look on her face. "That kill was nothing. I've taken down so many demons-" She began to boast, but then stopped and gave him a chilling glance, "and warlocks..."
"Yeah, but only with the help of your sisters. Without them you're nothing. Ooo, look at me; I'm a Charmed One! But don't kill any of the power of three or else I'll be a powerless little witch with no powers. Boo hoo hoo." He said mockingly to Prue.
"Why I oughta... You scrawny little pisher. When I get out of here I'll show you just how 'powerless' I am without my sisters." She held her hand towards the bars and strained to bend them... but to no avail. The shield had sprung up and was reverberating against the barrage of telekinesis.
Suddenly there was the sound of hooves tapping on stone from the other side of the cave and a short, goat legged demon walked up. He had two stumpy horns on either side of his forehead and was wearing a leather vest that was stretched tight across his potbelly. Mottled brown hair covered his legs, and a large bunch of keys hung on around his neck.
He clopped up to Prue's cage and kicked it. "What's with all the fuss, lady? You know that making the shield work is against the rules. You wanna get killed? Huh? You wanna get killed, lady?" He shouted in a slight Mexican accent and jangled the keys.
"Oh look. It's the Incredible Goat-man. Don't you ever get tired of that? Clip-clopping up to my cage and threatening me with death? Its gotta get boring after say... the *first two hundred times*?" Prue looked up and glared at her jailer.
"Ha, you talk big, lady. You all threats while safe in cage. Bet you not so cocky if you face me out here." Boasted the goat demon, as he sucked in his gut and puffed out his chest.
"Oh, is that an offer? Because I would *so* take you up on that, you runty little farmyard reject." Prue said to him, smiling to herself at the furious look her reply had provoked on his face.
"You shut your mouth, lady. I ain't gonna tell you that no more. And bee-sides; I can't let you out. The Source don't want me to. So your loss." He laughed and shook his keys again, before clopping off down the corridor.
"My loss? MY LOSS? You just be glad that there's a cage to keep me in or I would have vanquished your sorry ass by now." She glared and swung her hand at the bars again, smirking as her jailor span around and shook his horns at her.
"Hey. I've been meaning to ask you something." Said the warlock, his voice unsure.
Prue yawned and flexed her biceps. "What? You wanna know what its like to actually kick some ass?"
"Ha, but no. I wanted to know why you always say "sorry ass". Its always; "So then I vanquished his sorry ass", or "and then me and Piper kicked his sorry ass", or even "For the love of god, shut up or I will kill your sorry ass". I personally don't see how an ass can be sorry." He stopped for a minute, as if he was thinking something through. "I mean, it's an ass. That's it. Not a brain or a mind. Just an ass. A big chunk of muscle and fat."
There was an awkward silence as the warlock waited for Prue to respond. He gave a half-hearted cough and drummed his fingers on the floor.
"Its a figure of speech, you ASS. I mean, of all the stupid things to ask me." Prue suddenly shouted. "I mean- pfft." She exhaled incredulously and shot him a scornful look.
He flushed a deep shade of red and stared moodily at her. "Gawd, I was only *asking*. No need to bite my freakin head off."
"Just be glad that I can't do more than that..." Muttered Prue, as she scraped some straw into a rough pillow and lay down. She ignored the hard stone and began to drift off... until that familiar voice pierced through the air and woke her up again.
"Yeah, so anyway-" He began.
"Shut-up-shut-up-shut-up!" Screamed Prue, as she sat bolt upright in her cell.
"Geez! Calm down. Whoa, PMS or something?" He spluttered and held his hands up in mock surrender.
"No! Jebus christ, I just want to sleep." She replied wearily and rubbed her eyes.
"Looks like *someone's* in a mood. All I was gonna ask was how you actually ended up here. Sorry for taking an interest in your life." He began to pout again and turned away, expecting Prue to ignore him again.
"Well... That's- that's strange you should mention my 'life', because I'm not even sure if I'm still living it..." She said uncertainly, all anger absent from her voice.
The warlock turned back to look at her, confusion on his face. "Well... this is gonna be an... interesting… story"
Prue suppressed a scream and dolefully leant backwards. "I swear to god, if you don't shut your goddamn mouth I'll kill you." She shuffled on the hard stone floor and then looked towards the direction of the voice.
"Hey! Don't get pissy with me because you're trapped in The Underworld." Retorted a greasy looking warlock. His thin face was tapered at the end and sported a whispy black beard. "And you can't kill me. See?" He reached out and tapped the iron bars, and then pressed against the force shield like barrier that had sprung up.
"I'm not pissy because I'm trapped in The Underworld. I'm pissy because you won't shut up with the stories. Everyday it's another pathetic anecdote from the suckiest warlock that ever lived. Have you even killed... anything... ever?"
There was a long pause and Prue slowly smiled. A quick barrage of insults usually shut him up for a while. A few minutes later her silence was broken by the familiar nasal twang.
"Actually yes. I did kill something." He paused and looked expectantly across at Prue.
Prue bit her lip and tried not to swear as she pointedly shook her head.
"Awww come on. Ask me what it was. Ask me what I killed. Please? I won't shut up if you don't ask me." He wheedled, and gave Prue a hopeful look.
"You won't shut up even if I do ask you. So I don't see why I should do you any favours." She said curtly, and then turned away from him and began to press against the bars with the soles of her feet.
He was quiet again for a few minutes, and then suddenly spoke up. "Ok, so I'll tell you. I can see you are dying of suspense."
"Oh what gave it away?" Muttered Prue sarcastically as she gave the bars an extra hard kick.
"What was that? Never mind, anyways. Hey, where was I?" He looked puzzled stared at Prue.
"Oh for the love of-" She started and then turned to face her neighbour, a stony look on her face. "You were about to dazzle me with a tale of your one and only vanquish. And for your sake this better be good..."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He saw the murderous look in her eye and gulped twice. "Oh. Well, oh yeah. Back to my kill. I was tracking a witch or somebody, I can't remember, it was some kind of innocent. Ok... yeah. And then I had her all alone and then I threw an athame at her. But then suddenly another demon shimmered in... right into the path of the athame. He got vanquished and the witch or whatever got away..." He trailed off and began to twiddle his thumbs, not know what to say.
Prue was silently laughing, her shoulders rocking and chest heaving. She wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath... before dissolving into giggles again.
"Hey! What's so funny? You gotta problem with my story?" Said the warlock indignantly, as he glared at Prue.
"I- well-" Prue wiped the last of her tears away and took another deep breath. "Its just funny that you are a demon, and you've only done one kill... which was another demon. And you only killed him by accident." She stopped and gave him a slightly apologetic look. "Its kinda sad really, if you think about it..."
There was an awkward silence as the warlock contemplated her words. "You know, I think you just say these things to hurt me. You aren't nice." He began to pout and frown.
"Oh stop frowning, you'll get wrinkles. And that pouting only makes you seem even more pathetic than you already are... which is *really* something." Prue replied, a scornful look on her face. "That kill was nothing. I've taken down so many demons-" She began to boast, but then stopped and gave him a chilling glance, "and warlocks..."
"Yeah, but only with the help of your sisters. Without them you're nothing. Ooo, look at me; I'm a Charmed One! But don't kill any of the power of three or else I'll be a powerless little witch with no powers. Boo hoo hoo." He said mockingly to Prue.
"Why I oughta... You scrawny little pisher. When I get out of here I'll show you just how 'powerless' I am without my sisters." She held her hand towards the bars and strained to bend them... but to no avail. The shield had sprung up and was reverberating against the barrage of telekinesis.
Suddenly there was the sound of hooves tapping on stone from the other side of the cave and a short, goat legged demon walked up. He had two stumpy horns on either side of his forehead and was wearing a leather vest that was stretched tight across his potbelly. Mottled brown hair covered his legs, and a large bunch of keys hung on around his neck.
He clopped up to Prue's cage and kicked it. "What's with all the fuss, lady? You know that making the shield work is against the rules. You wanna get killed? Huh? You wanna get killed, lady?" He shouted in a slight Mexican accent and jangled the keys.
"Oh look. It's the Incredible Goat-man. Don't you ever get tired of that? Clip-clopping up to my cage and threatening me with death? Its gotta get boring after say... the *first two hundred times*?" Prue looked up and glared at her jailer.
"Ha, you talk big, lady. You all threats while safe in cage. Bet you not so cocky if you face me out here." Boasted the goat demon, as he sucked in his gut and puffed out his chest.
"Oh, is that an offer? Because I would *so* take you up on that, you runty little farmyard reject." Prue said to him, smiling to herself at the furious look her reply had provoked on his face.
"You shut your mouth, lady. I ain't gonna tell you that no more. And bee-sides; I can't let you out. The Source don't want me to. So your loss." He laughed and shook his keys again, before clopping off down the corridor.
"My loss? MY LOSS? You just be glad that there's a cage to keep me in or I would have vanquished your sorry ass by now." She glared and swung her hand at the bars again, smirking as her jailor span around and shook his horns at her.
"Hey. I've been meaning to ask you something." Said the warlock, his voice unsure.
Prue yawned and flexed her biceps. "What? You wanna know what its like to actually kick some ass?"
"Ha, but no. I wanted to know why you always say "sorry ass". Its always; "So then I vanquished his sorry ass", or "and then me and Piper kicked his sorry ass", or even "For the love of god, shut up or I will kill your sorry ass". I personally don't see how an ass can be sorry." He stopped for a minute, as if he was thinking something through. "I mean, it's an ass. That's it. Not a brain or a mind. Just an ass. A big chunk of muscle and fat."
There was an awkward silence as the warlock waited for Prue to respond. He gave a half-hearted cough and drummed his fingers on the floor.
"Its a figure of speech, you ASS. I mean, of all the stupid things to ask me." Prue suddenly shouted. "I mean- pfft." She exhaled incredulously and shot him a scornful look.
He flushed a deep shade of red and stared moodily at her. "Gawd, I was only *asking*. No need to bite my freakin head off."
"Just be glad that I can't do more than that..." Muttered Prue, as she scraped some straw into a rough pillow and lay down. She ignored the hard stone and began to drift off... until that familiar voice pierced through the air and woke her up again.
"Yeah, so anyway-" He began.
"Shut-up-shut-up-shut-up!" Screamed Prue, as she sat bolt upright in her cell.
"Geez! Calm down. Whoa, PMS or something?" He spluttered and held his hands up in mock surrender.
"No! Jebus christ, I just want to sleep." She replied wearily and rubbed her eyes.
"Looks like *someone's* in a mood. All I was gonna ask was how you actually ended up here. Sorry for taking an interest in your life." He began to pout again and turned away, expecting Prue to ignore him again.
"Well... That's- that's strange you should mention my 'life', because I'm not even sure if I'm still living it..." She said uncertainly, all anger absent from her voice.
The warlock turned back to look at her, confusion on his face. "Well... this is gonna be an... interesting… story"