Disclaimer: The characters and the Star Trek world belong to Paramount.
The story is mine. Enjoy it!
Thanks again to my friend CatC for the help & editing.
Kathryn was mad. She did not like to be deceived, especially from someone she trusted. Her heart was pounding and she was confused. She had just spent some very intimate time on the holodeck with Chakotay, and thought it was her holocharacter Chakotay. She stormed out of the holodeck back to her quarters. She even ran ahead of him and closed the turbolift doors so she wouldn't have to ride with him.
Chakotay followed Kathryn from the Holodeck back to her quarters. He kept trying to get her attention, but she ignored him. He was hoping to catch her on the turbolift and talk to her then - or even halt it, but she ran ahead of him.
When he finally got off the turbolift, his heart was beating quickly. 'What can I say to her to make her understand?' he thought. 'I'll just have to make it up as I go along. I hope I can convince her that I was not trying to lie to her, but that I just couldn't stand not being near her. I was deceived as well!'
Kathryn had walked quickly from the holodeck to her quarters. "Computer, lock door" she commanded. She then raced to her replicator to get some coffee, sat down and sipped on it. 'I can't believe that Chakotay was in the holodeck the whole time and didn't tell me. That was just so cunning, I can't believe he would do a thing like that! I never even saw it on his face on the bridge. Then again, I was fairly preoccupied thinking about him, and tried not to show it. I also was avoiding him, now that I think of it, for fear of showing emotion that was not becoming of an officer.' She ignored the knock on the door.
Chakotay got to her door and knocked. He didn't want to be loud enough to disturb anyone from another shift that was sleeping, but he had to talk to her. He ordered the computer to override the lock on the door and entered her room. "Kathryn, we need to talk!" he called out as he walked around looking for her. He knew she was here, why else would the door have been locked? He finally found her sitting, sipping on coffee, lost in thought.
He walked over to her and sat next to her, breaking her out of her daze. "Please, let me explain." he said.
"There is nothing to explain, you tricked me so I would fall back in love with you. It won't work, I can make myself forget it all." She said with a rock-hard expression on her face. She tried to stand up and walk away from him, but he stood in her way. She was pinned in the corner.
"Kathryn, I didn't know that you had a hologram of me in there. I thought your affection was finally meant for me!" He said, with a hurt look on his face. "I only found out yesterday that there was another me there, and just then put it together. I didn't want to mention anything, knowing you'd react just this way, and I wanted to avoid this!"
"Well, you got what you deserved. You should have said something your first time in the holodeck!"
His face softened, "Kathryn, when I walked onto the holodeck and saw you sitting on the rock reading like you had always done on New Earth, I was overwhelmed. Then you told me that you missed me, and you hugged me. What was I to think? I never even thought about you possibly thinking that I was your holocharacter." He looked at her, with eyes full of love and confusion. "What was I supposed to do?"
She listened to what he had to say, and softened a little. "You should have asked me what I was doing. Pulled away or something. And why were you dressed in your New Earth outfit? That is what had me confused. If you had been in your uniform, I would have known it was you."
"I see, when I go to the holodeck on my off time, I'm supposed to wear my uniform. I was off duty. I chose comfortable clothes knowing I was going to the holodeck. I didn't know that you were running this program. I guess I chose that outfit because you wore the dress the night before. But that doesn't explain why you created a character of me, when I would have willingly come, at any time of day and night to be with you." He looked confused and hurt. "What would have you done in my situation? If you had just walked on to the holodeck, saw that we were on New Earth, and I was hugging you, saying I missed you, and kissed you. Would you have stopped me and said 'What is going on here?' or would you have just kissed me back? I think you would have kissed me." And he thought 'or I hope so anyway.'
She thought about it for a while, "I really don't know. I suppose it depends on the situation. But you."
Chakotay raised one eyebrow, "You really think it depends? I'd kiss you back in a heartbeat, as I demonstrated. I love you Kathryn, and I have since the moment I first saw you. You know that as well as I do. All the time we spent on New Earth was heaven to me. I wish we had never been 'rescued'. I would rather have stayed there the rest of our lives, just the two of us. I honestly thought you were finally opening back up to me. I would have accepted keeping our relationship secret - just in the holodeck if you wanted me to. I'd do anything to be able to love you again, Kathryn." While talking, his eyes misted up a bit, which showed his sincerity.
"You know, Chakotay, as well as I do that we just can't do that. You know the Starfleet regulations. And as much as I dislike the particular rule that states that Captains are not to have relationships, I am Starfleet through and through for the rest of the voyage. I can't disobey that rule anymore than I can the prime directive. If we started picking and choosing which directives we are to follow, then we'd be no better than the Equinox crew." She said, determined.
He looked at her with disbelief; "You honestly believe that if we had a relationship, that it would put us even with them? I don't think so. Do you realize, Kathryn, we aren't on a normal Starfleet ship? We may not get home anytime soon. We need to be thinking of the future. It could take us decades to get home from here. I think that rule needs to be relaxed. Look at Tom and B'elanna. You approve of their relationship."
"Yes, but." She started to say.
He cut her off. "We need more relationships here, on the ship, to boost morale. We need to set examples for our crew, Kathryn. There is always a chance that we may need a next generation on our ship to run it. Tom and B'Elanna have already started it. We may come against obstacles, or never find a wormhole." He reached for her hand across the table.
She pulled her hand away from his. This time, she made sure he could not cut off her thought. "Chakotay, I - I can't. You know that. We've talked about this many times before." She said, stuttering. She knew she sounded hollow, even to herself. "We just can't." She turned away from him, cutting off what she wanted to say after that. 'As much as I want to.'
Chakotay took her by the hand again, and this time she didn't pull away. He pulled her hand slightly to coax her to stand up, and when she did, he wrapped his arms around her. "We can, and we will" he grinned down at her.
"Kathryn, after the last few days in the holodeck, my love for you is stronger than before. I don't think I could stand not being near you anymore. I love you, and will always love you. We proved our love for each other on New Earth, as well as in the holodeck the last few days."
"I love you too, but we can't." she started.
He cut her off again "I'm glad you realize that, but I don't understand. If you love me, and I love you, and you are already allowing senior staff to be married on the ship, why can't we be together? There is no reason for it. We are far away from home, some of the Starfleet rules do not apply to our situation. Deep Space missions have many families on board." he got down on one knee in front of her. "I've been planning for years how to say this, but the time has never been right. I love you, Kathryn, love of my life, will you marry me?" he asked. "We can truly be a Command team if we are married." He added the last bit trying to appeal to her Command side as well.
She looked down at him, into his brown eyes and dissolved. All of the feelings that she had for him, which had been bottled up for so long, had recently been released. Although she thought they were for the holocharacter Chakotay, they were still very strong. She could not refuse her feelings for him, even if she had wanted to. "Yes, Chakotay." she whispered.
He didn't allow her to continue with her thought. He knew better! If he let her speak, she'd talk herself out of it again. He stood up, took her in his arms to hug her tight, leaned down and kissed her. "I love you, Kathryn".
"I love you too, Chakotay." She managed to say between kisses.
The End
Thanks again to my friend CatC for the help & editing.
Kathryn was mad. She did not like to be deceived, especially from someone she trusted. Her heart was pounding and she was confused. She had just spent some very intimate time on the holodeck with Chakotay, and thought it was her holocharacter Chakotay. She stormed out of the holodeck back to her quarters. She even ran ahead of him and closed the turbolift doors so she wouldn't have to ride with him.
Chakotay followed Kathryn from the Holodeck back to her quarters. He kept trying to get her attention, but she ignored him. He was hoping to catch her on the turbolift and talk to her then - or even halt it, but she ran ahead of him.
When he finally got off the turbolift, his heart was beating quickly. 'What can I say to her to make her understand?' he thought. 'I'll just have to make it up as I go along. I hope I can convince her that I was not trying to lie to her, but that I just couldn't stand not being near her. I was deceived as well!'
Kathryn had walked quickly from the holodeck to her quarters. "Computer, lock door" she commanded. She then raced to her replicator to get some coffee, sat down and sipped on it. 'I can't believe that Chakotay was in the holodeck the whole time and didn't tell me. That was just so cunning, I can't believe he would do a thing like that! I never even saw it on his face on the bridge. Then again, I was fairly preoccupied thinking about him, and tried not to show it. I also was avoiding him, now that I think of it, for fear of showing emotion that was not becoming of an officer.' She ignored the knock on the door.
Chakotay got to her door and knocked. He didn't want to be loud enough to disturb anyone from another shift that was sleeping, but he had to talk to her. He ordered the computer to override the lock on the door and entered her room. "Kathryn, we need to talk!" he called out as he walked around looking for her. He knew she was here, why else would the door have been locked? He finally found her sitting, sipping on coffee, lost in thought.
He walked over to her and sat next to her, breaking her out of her daze. "Please, let me explain." he said.
"There is nothing to explain, you tricked me so I would fall back in love with you. It won't work, I can make myself forget it all." She said with a rock-hard expression on her face. She tried to stand up and walk away from him, but he stood in her way. She was pinned in the corner.
"Kathryn, I didn't know that you had a hologram of me in there. I thought your affection was finally meant for me!" He said, with a hurt look on his face. "I only found out yesterday that there was another me there, and just then put it together. I didn't want to mention anything, knowing you'd react just this way, and I wanted to avoid this!"
"Well, you got what you deserved. You should have said something your first time in the holodeck!"
His face softened, "Kathryn, when I walked onto the holodeck and saw you sitting on the rock reading like you had always done on New Earth, I was overwhelmed. Then you told me that you missed me, and you hugged me. What was I to think? I never even thought about you possibly thinking that I was your holocharacter." He looked at her, with eyes full of love and confusion. "What was I supposed to do?"
She listened to what he had to say, and softened a little. "You should have asked me what I was doing. Pulled away or something. And why were you dressed in your New Earth outfit? That is what had me confused. If you had been in your uniform, I would have known it was you."
"I see, when I go to the holodeck on my off time, I'm supposed to wear my uniform. I was off duty. I chose comfortable clothes knowing I was going to the holodeck. I didn't know that you were running this program. I guess I chose that outfit because you wore the dress the night before. But that doesn't explain why you created a character of me, when I would have willingly come, at any time of day and night to be with you." He looked confused and hurt. "What would have you done in my situation? If you had just walked on to the holodeck, saw that we were on New Earth, and I was hugging you, saying I missed you, and kissed you. Would you have stopped me and said 'What is going on here?' or would you have just kissed me back? I think you would have kissed me." And he thought 'or I hope so anyway.'
She thought about it for a while, "I really don't know. I suppose it depends on the situation. But you."
Chakotay raised one eyebrow, "You really think it depends? I'd kiss you back in a heartbeat, as I demonstrated. I love you Kathryn, and I have since the moment I first saw you. You know that as well as I do. All the time we spent on New Earth was heaven to me. I wish we had never been 'rescued'. I would rather have stayed there the rest of our lives, just the two of us. I honestly thought you were finally opening back up to me. I would have accepted keeping our relationship secret - just in the holodeck if you wanted me to. I'd do anything to be able to love you again, Kathryn." While talking, his eyes misted up a bit, which showed his sincerity.
"You know, Chakotay, as well as I do that we just can't do that. You know the Starfleet regulations. And as much as I dislike the particular rule that states that Captains are not to have relationships, I am Starfleet through and through for the rest of the voyage. I can't disobey that rule anymore than I can the prime directive. If we started picking and choosing which directives we are to follow, then we'd be no better than the Equinox crew." She said, determined.
He looked at her with disbelief; "You honestly believe that if we had a relationship, that it would put us even with them? I don't think so. Do you realize, Kathryn, we aren't on a normal Starfleet ship? We may not get home anytime soon. We need to be thinking of the future. It could take us decades to get home from here. I think that rule needs to be relaxed. Look at Tom and B'elanna. You approve of their relationship."
"Yes, but." She started to say.
He cut her off. "We need more relationships here, on the ship, to boost morale. We need to set examples for our crew, Kathryn. There is always a chance that we may need a next generation on our ship to run it. Tom and B'Elanna have already started it. We may come against obstacles, or never find a wormhole." He reached for her hand across the table.
She pulled her hand away from his. This time, she made sure he could not cut off her thought. "Chakotay, I - I can't. You know that. We've talked about this many times before." She said, stuttering. She knew she sounded hollow, even to herself. "We just can't." She turned away from him, cutting off what she wanted to say after that. 'As much as I want to.'
Chakotay took her by the hand again, and this time she didn't pull away. He pulled her hand slightly to coax her to stand up, and when she did, he wrapped his arms around her. "We can, and we will" he grinned down at her.
"Kathryn, after the last few days in the holodeck, my love for you is stronger than before. I don't think I could stand not being near you anymore. I love you, and will always love you. We proved our love for each other on New Earth, as well as in the holodeck the last few days."
"I love you too, but we can't." she started.
He cut her off again "I'm glad you realize that, but I don't understand. If you love me, and I love you, and you are already allowing senior staff to be married on the ship, why can't we be together? There is no reason for it. We are far away from home, some of the Starfleet rules do not apply to our situation. Deep Space missions have many families on board." he got down on one knee in front of her. "I've been planning for years how to say this, but the time has never been right. I love you, Kathryn, love of my life, will you marry me?" he asked. "We can truly be a Command team if we are married." He added the last bit trying to appeal to her Command side as well.
She looked down at him, into his brown eyes and dissolved. All of the feelings that she had for him, which had been bottled up for so long, had recently been released. Although she thought they were for the holocharacter Chakotay, they were still very strong. She could not refuse her feelings for him, even if she had wanted to. "Yes, Chakotay." she whispered.
He didn't allow her to continue with her thought. He knew better! If he let her speak, she'd talk herself out of it again. He stood up, took her in his arms to hug her tight, leaned down and kissed her. "I love you, Kathryn".
"I love you too, Chakotay." She managed to say between kisses.
The End