It was nice to be able to confide in Willow, Buffy realized, thinking back on the discussion she and Willow had just had, as she walked down the street and toward city hall.  For the past while, Buffy had been hiding the fact that Spike and she were dating.  She and Willow hadn't had much to talk about, as Buffy had to be careful to avoid topics that reminded her of Spike.  Which was just about everything.  Now, however, Buffy and Willow easily found the farmiliar rhythym of gossip.  Giggling and chatting for hours, Buffy had hated to leave.  However, she had a delivery to make.

            City hall gleamed against the setting afternoon sun.  Buffy entered the glass doors, a slight bounce in her step.

"May I speak to William Crawford?"  The slayer asked a middle aged security guard who sat behind a tall, mahogany desk, in City Hall lobby.  The man turned toward a computer and typed for a few seconds.

"No one named William Crawford works here."  The man said, looking at her in confusion.

"Are you sure."  Buffy asked, biting down on her lower lip in confusion.

"I checked twice."  The security guard said, clearly exasperated.  Buffy ignored the man's blatant lie.  Her confusion and worry overpowering it.  The slayer turned without a goodbye, leaving the guard mumbling something about "kids today"

            Outside Buffy looked around her at the busy streets, as if expecting to see Spike coming towards her.  It had only been a day since she had last seen him, since they had come home from the beach.  Still, Buffy worried about him.  The slayer glanced down at the parcel clutched in her hand.  Wrapped in silver paper with a silver bow tied on top, the package, when ripped away, would reveal a poetry book entitled Great Poems of the 1800s.  Buffy knew that Spike would love the book, he loved poetry of the 1800s, and his old book was ratty.  This one, was hardback, with thick pages and even a hand written message from her to him in the front cover.  It read:

Dear William,

            For so long my life has been defined by what I do.  I've been a daughter, a student, a cheerleader, a girlfriend, a slayer.  My whole purpose in life changed according to what others needed.  When I was called as slayer I felt like my entire life was over.  Like my entire purpose for living was gone.  However, I adapted and began defining myself by what I did.  I killed.  I sought out demons and ended their existence.  I was a warrior, a killer.  Some called me a hero, but I knew I wasn't.

            But I'm not a slayer.  You've shown me that.  I'm not anything.  I'm me.  Just me.  I'm not a girlfriend, a daughter, a student, cheerleader or girlfriend.  The more I change to become what people want me to become, the more of myself I lose.  And you've shown me that.  Through poetry readings and nights on the beach you've exposed my tender side.  Through sparring and patrolling you've exposed my warrior, and through your glances and kisses, every touch and look you send my way, you've exposed my heart.  You opened up all parts of me, allowing me to become Buffy Anne Summers, a women who doesn't change for anyone except herself.

            Thank you for everything.  My dreams of the future are filled with you.  All my love.

Truly Yours,

Buffy Anne Summers

            Buffy continued walking away from city hall as she thought about what the note had said.  Filled with renewed hope she realized where her footsteps were taking her.  To the mansion.  Smiling Buffy began to quicken her pace to a slow jog.

            The sun was sinking low into the sky as she approached the mansion, yet Buffy's mind was as far as could be from her demons, vampire's, or the mother whom Buffy knew would be worried.  Instead, her mind was filled with only thoughts of Spike.

"Miss me?"  A familiar British voice asked.  Buffy turned to face Spike as his arms encircled her waist.

"I came to find you at city hall."  Buffy said, disappointed that she couldn't walk home from work with Spike, also finding it odd.  Though she shared much about her life, Spike would usually wait for her to ask a question before answering it.  However, he always did so completely, so she never questioned his honestly.

"Why would I be at city hall?"  Spike asked, realizing, not for the first time, what trouble leading a double life could be.  He sifted through memories, trying to figure out why the slayer would look for him at the town headquarters.

"You work there."  Buffy said, raising an eyebrow at Spike.  The vampire smiled, a lie forming in his mind.

"I thought I told you that they switched me to the mayor's other office.  A more private office just outside of town.  I start work tomorrow."  Spike lied.  Buffy studied him for a second, cocking her head to the side.  Spike's mind was racing, wondering if she believed him, praying that she did.  The vampire didn't think he could survive losing her.

"I wish you'd told me."  Buffy said.  "I have a gift I wanted to give you."  The petite slayer continued, this time a playful tone in her voice.  Spike smiled inwardly.  Mission accomplished.

"For me?"  Spike asked, glancing down at the package in the slayer's hands.  Buffy nodded.  However, as Spike grabbed for it she pulled it just out of his reach.  "Magic words."  Buffy commanded.

"Please."  Spike said, looking longingly at the gift.

"Nope."  Buffy replied with a shake of her head.

"Abra Cadabra."  Spike tried.  The slayer shook her head once more.  Spike paused for a second.  Then smirked.  "How about either give me that present or I'll take it from you."  Spike said, a come hither look in his eyes.

"You wanna' get your ass kicked?"  Buffy asked, dropping the present to the ground behind her.

"I'd love to see you try slayer."  Spike said.  The fight was on.

            The pair fought evenly.  Neither holding back.  Buffy was happy to spar with Spike.  She enjoyed fighting with someone whom she didn't need to hold back with, knowing that even though Spike insisted she was stronger than him, he was just being modest, as every time they had sparred before they had been evenly matched.

            Buffy blocked a series of punches before aiming a kick at Spike's midsection.  It connected, sending him to the ground.  However, the vampire quickly rolled out of it, grabbing the slayer behind her knee and sending her falling onto him.  Buffy erupted into a fit of giggles as Spike struggled to get up to no avail.

"What?"  The vampire asked angrily.

"Your duster….is caught…."  Buffy began between laughs.  Spike looked behind him to find that his duster had snagged on a tree branch.  Quickly unhooking it he raced toward where the slayer had thrown the gift.  Buffy stopped laughing and got up, walking over as Spike undid the ribbon hastily.  Paper was thrown to the ground and Spike paused, the title staring back at him.

"It's beautiful."  He whispered.  Buffy smiled shyly.  "No one's ever given me a gift this beautiful before."  Buffy was surprised, and for a moment she contemplated asking him why he was so entranced by the book.  However, she decided not to ruin the mood by prying.  Instead, she opened the cover and pointed to the inscription.

"I wrote a note."  Buffy explained as Spike began reading.  His lips moving slightly as he read each word.  When he got to the end he looked up at the slayer, who was kicking a stone, obviously embarrassed.  Spike wasted no time in grabbing her and kissing her softly but deeply.  Buffy leaned into the kiss, all worries about where Spike was this afternoon fading away…for now….

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?

Love is everything it's cracked up to be.
That's why people are so cynical about it.
It really is worth fighting for,
Being brave for,
Risking everything for.

And the trouble is,
If you don't risk anything,
You risk even more.