This fictional fantasy is defiantly at no figment of your imagination, nor
of ours. But perhaps the characters in this parody will think better of the
idea of truth behind it.
Let me introduce myself as Picket Fence. I've written other parodies and fictional stories. Romance, adventure, you name it. Now I'm co-writing this little parody with HalOratIOn. I hope you enjoy this little ficcy. I know I'm so over joyed to be writing it myself!
Oh, and do note. As always, we are not J RR Tolkien, therefore we couldn't possibly own his characters anyway. We only own ours of course.
So, it begins on a day of much joy an happiness. Like all my other fics, I shall place to wildly craving Lord of the Rings girls in the need to get laid upon the seen, which much likeness of both HalOratIOn and myself. Then, when they are so nigh to the fall upon Middle-earth, I shall let them fall! And lo! They do fall. Down down down.and further and further.Until, what luck! What fortune, they find the Fellowship traveling near Caradhras and land straight on Sam. Nobody likes Sam anyway. He was picking his little hobbit nose at the time and some how his finger got lodged up his nose upon one of the girls landing on his ugly and vulnerable little head. This girl, we shall name her Samantha, was speechless from both the sight of the fellowship and also the small fact that she'd just fallen a good 150 feet onto her back and had now thoroughly knocked the wind out of her. The other girl, we shall call her Derwin, was in her subconscious and began to mutter many incoherent words under her breath and then began to do some vulgar movements with a tree nearby which we will not embellish till later chapters.
"Major Ewwyness!" cried Samantha in distress, for she now realized not only was she sitting on Sam which was too gross for her, but an unsightly liquid was pouring forth from his nose. She got up from sitting on him and ran around a few times, much like a dog would, and screaming loudly, so loudly in fact that all the birds and beasts upon the fellowship's track could and would hear them at this instant. "Oh my good gracious God! Eww, I'm diseased, I shall never be rid of this awful loss of immunity! Quick, Legolas, look!" She pulled down her knickers to her knees and then pulled down the back half of her panties in order to reveal her bottom side.
"Do I have leprosy?"
The fellowship swayed and stared at her cheeks for a time.
"Wow, her butt is hairy," thought Legolas. "Gosh, her butt looks like our feet!" muttered the hobbits simultaneously. "Holy great balls of fire!" thought Boromir, "her bottom half must be twice as big as mine!" "Good god," thought Gimli, "her ass really turns me on!" Sam had now awoken and was frantically trying to dislodge his finger from his nose. Later on that same day, the fellowship was sitting around the fire listening to the girls chit chat about this or that, or that or Orlando Bloom. Sometimes, they would actually talk about "that" or "this" precisely. No one understood them anyway so it made no difference what "that" or "this" was. All the fellowship was sitting around the circle except for Sam, who was cooking. Legolas had purposefully tried to sit as far away from the hairy- ass girl as possible. She seemed to be stalking him, and every word from her mouth addressed to him, ended up spraying all over his clean and motley colored tunic. It's funny how nice an elf can look, even when he's been traveling for weeks on end and hasn't had a shower. "Sam!" cried Pippin, "stop picking your butt! Your cooking food!" Derwin and Samantha had finally gotten up in order to as they say "fetch wood for the fire". "Come now Legolas, escort us to the nearest stream or creek so we won't be abducted by anything unnatural." Legolas grumbled something under his breath.
"I'll come!" cried Gimli.
"But your unnatural, come now Legolas."
Legolas got up and they were off to the creek.
When they had reached the little bubbling creek, Derwin turned to Samantha and signaled. Both grabbed Legolas and threw him against a tree. Derwin grabbed her bondage straps out of her back pocket and immediately started to tie Legolas up, making extra sure that she pinched Legolas hard so as to hear him moan. She was quite content in this.
"So, Legolas, have you ever been laid?" asked Samantha.
"Laid?" asked Legolas, not sure how to answer this question.
"Yes, have you ever had a bang."
"Bang?"
"Ok, have you ever done the hanky panky?"
"Hanky panky?"
"Let's see," Samantha turned to Derwin, "what other words are there for a sexual encounter, intercourse, or sex??"
"Have you ever had a sexual intercourse?" asked Derwin.
"No, I have not," Legolas said firmly.
"Would you like one?"
"No, I would not."
The girls looked befuddled.
They took two steps away from Legolas, who was still bondaged up, and began to whisper.
"What shall we do!" whispered Samantha.
"Just rape him anyway," said Derwin.
"I don't think it's physically possible to rape a man," Samantha replied.
"That's too bad, what a pity," both looked at their feet in shock and sadness.
"Well, let's just get the water and get out of here, it's really creepy in these woods."
They left and Legolas remained still bondaged up.
"Ahhh! You can't leave me here!" he cried in dismay, but the two girls did not listen to him as they walked away.
"You think about what you've done first Legolas Greenleaf," they replied.
Let me introduce myself as Picket Fence. I've written other parodies and fictional stories. Romance, adventure, you name it. Now I'm co-writing this little parody with HalOratIOn. I hope you enjoy this little ficcy. I know I'm so over joyed to be writing it myself!
Oh, and do note. As always, we are not J RR Tolkien, therefore we couldn't possibly own his characters anyway. We only own ours of course.
So, it begins on a day of much joy an happiness. Like all my other fics, I shall place to wildly craving Lord of the Rings girls in the need to get laid upon the seen, which much likeness of both HalOratIOn and myself. Then, when they are so nigh to the fall upon Middle-earth, I shall let them fall! And lo! They do fall. Down down down.and further and further.Until, what luck! What fortune, they find the Fellowship traveling near Caradhras and land straight on Sam. Nobody likes Sam anyway. He was picking his little hobbit nose at the time and some how his finger got lodged up his nose upon one of the girls landing on his ugly and vulnerable little head. This girl, we shall name her Samantha, was speechless from both the sight of the fellowship and also the small fact that she'd just fallen a good 150 feet onto her back and had now thoroughly knocked the wind out of her. The other girl, we shall call her Derwin, was in her subconscious and began to mutter many incoherent words under her breath and then began to do some vulgar movements with a tree nearby which we will not embellish till later chapters.
"Major Ewwyness!" cried Samantha in distress, for she now realized not only was she sitting on Sam which was too gross for her, but an unsightly liquid was pouring forth from his nose. She got up from sitting on him and ran around a few times, much like a dog would, and screaming loudly, so loudly in fact that all the birds and beasts upon the fellowship's track could and would hear them at this instant. "Oh my good gracious God! Eww, I'm diseased, I shall never be rid of this awful loss of immunity! Quick, Legolas, look!" She pulled down her knickers to her knees and then pulled down the back half of her panties in order to reveal her bottom side.
"Do I have leprosy?"
The fellowship swayed and stared at her cheeks for a time.
"Wow, her butt is hairy," thought Legolas. "Gosh, her butt looks like our feet!" muttered the hobbits simultaneously. "Holy great balls of fire!" thought Boromir, "her bottom half must be twice as big as mine!" "Good god," thought Gimli, "her ass really turns me on!" Sam had now awoken and was frantically trying to dislodge his finger from his nose. Later on that same day, the fellowship was sitting around the fire listening to the girls chit chat about this or that, or that or Orlando Bloom. Sometimes, they would actually talk about "that" or "this" precisely. No one understood them anyway so it made no difference what "that" or "this" was. All the fellowship was sitting around the circle except for Sam, who was cooking. Legolas had purposefully tried to sit as far away from the hairy- ass girl as possible. She seemed to be stalking him, and every word from her mouth addressed to him, ended up spraying all over his clean and motley colored tunic. It's funny how nice an elf can look, even when he's been traveling for weeks on end and hasn't had a shower. "Sam!" cried Pippin, "stop picking your butt! Your cooking food!" Derwin and Samantha had finally gotten up in order to as they say "fetch wood for the fire". "Come now Legolas, escort us to the nearest stream or creek so we won't be abducted by anything unnatural." Legolas grumbled something under his breath.
"I'll come!" cried Gimli.
"But your unnatural, come now Legolas."
Legolas got up and they were off to the creek.
When they had reached the little bubbling creek, Derwin turned to Samantha and signaled. Both grabbed Legolas and threw him against a tree. Derwin grabbed her bondage straps out of her back pocket and immediately started to tie Legolas up, making extra sure that she pinched Legolas hard so as to hear him moan. She was quite content in this.
"So, Legolas, have you ever been laid?" asked Samantha.
"Laid?" asked Legolas, not sure how to answer this question.
"Yes, have you ever had a bang."
"Bang?"
"Ok, have you ever done the hanky panky?"
"Hanky panky?"
"Let's see," Samantha turned to Derwin, "what other words are there for a sexual encounter, intercourse, or sex??"
"Have you ever had a sexual intercourse?" asked Derwin.
"No, I have not," Legolas said firmly.
"Would you like one?"
"No, I would not."
The girls looked befuddled.
They took two steps away from Legolas, who was still bondaged up, and began to whisper.
"What shall we do!" whispered Samantha.
"Just rape him anyway," said Derwin.
"I don't think it's physically possible to rape a man," Samantha replied.
"That's too bad, what a pity," both looked at their feet in shock and sadness.
"Well, let's just get the water and get out of here, it's really creepy in these woods."
They left and Legolas remained still bondaged up.
"Ahhh! You can't leave me here!" he cried in dismay, but the two girls did not listen to him as they walked away.
"You think about what you've done first Legolas Greenleaf," they replied.