Author's Note: Draft 3. Or four? Eh, lost count. 'The Way You Look Tonight' lyrics copyrighted by Frank Sinatra (?). Poetry at the beginning is mine though.

Consider this an AU fic. I wrote it before Order of the Phoenix came out. Basically, all you need to pretend is Harry and Cho stayed together. And I seriously need to reread the entire series...

Disclaimer: HP characters don't belong to me. I'm not making money off this. And I'm innocent and lovable and I'm a really good student...

The Pounding Rain
Chapter One
Rain

Can you feel the pounding rain?
It's beating on your back
Can you feel the relentless wind?
It's tearing you apart

Cool, refreshing rain – a gentle drizzle as revitalizing as a warm shower. I breathed in the moist, fall air and sighed. "I love humidity," I declared to the emptiness around me. I didn't care if I'd catch a cold – this was where I belonged.

Sure, the invariable gray stones and shadows around me created somewhat of a dismal setting – cold gray castle walls on three sides, and in front of me, nothing but the glassy reflection of gray clouds on the surface of the lake. My own alcove – a small inlet down at the corner of the castle. I'd never met anyone here, though I'd been coming since I discovered it two years ago.

I leaned back against the wall, very close to the small, wooden door. It was a pathetic part of the castle, really. No artistic dream had inspired the construction of my little haven.

Fifth year at Hogwarts. I'm only fifteen, and now You-Know-Who is back, and he wasn't just a diary character now. Three years ago, I hadn't even been able to face him. I'm sincerely doomed if I ever come face-to-face with him now. Supposedly, that shouldn't happen. Supposedly, Hogwarts' tightest security and staff will keep everyone safe and cozy.

Yeah, right.

Not that we'd be safer at home, anyway. Given all thought – Hogwarts probably was the safest place for all of us.

Until this year, I'd never been much for studying. But given the dangers of You-Know-Who's return, it couldn't hurt a bit to study a little more extra. A lot of students had gone to their books. Maybe it helped distract them, too. And no one could party much these days, anyway. Too much fear and hurt caged their hope for happiness. Worry – panic – dread. Prayers that that letter will never come… 'please, not my family, don't let them get my family…'

If Hogwarts was safer for us physically, it was Hell for our sanity.

I'd been going back to the Gryffindor Dormitory after dinner, but my feet had gotten sidetracked, and I'd ended up here again. Well, whatever. A good break is always welcomed.

I don't let anyone know anymore, because it's ridiculous for them to know, and ridiculous for me to continue, but I really do love Harry. They used to write it off as a silly school girl crush – okay, so at the beginning, it was. But I know him better now. I see the way his eyes light up when he's thinking about Quidditch – the way the corner of his mouth tilts slightly, even if he's been having a bad day. Sometimes, when he thinks no one is watching, he twirls his hair in his fingers. It's not like it could get any messier, anyway. And when he's with Ron and Hermione, just lounging around, laughing, there's a slow way he smiles – a genuine smile. Almost like the sunrise… warm, rising gently. Beautiful.

I could get carried away.

But no one would ever know, because as far as they're concerned, Ginny Weasley is over Harry Potter and always will be. Sometimes, I wished it were true. Usually, though, I loved the feeling, and was too scared to ever let it go. My security blanket.

Being in love – even if it's unrequited – shouldn't drag a person down. Yes, when I see Harry with Cho – he's seeing her now – it pangs a little. But my heart's too busy leaping into my throat to notice.

"And that laugh that wrinkles your nose," A Muggle song – Frank Sinatra – but so fitting. "It touches my foolish heart." I stood and stretched. "Cause I love you… just the way you look tonight."

I reached for the door and – voices.

Students. I pressed my ear to the door, curious, feeling like a spy, but not caring.

"I… I can't… I mean – I just… I'm so sorry…"

Cho Chang. And her escort?

"Cho," gentle, compelling. "What are you getting at?"

Harry. But the quiver in his voice betrayed him – he knew what was come. At least, he had an idea.

Cho sounded very close to tears. "I wish I didn't have to do this. I just… I wish this were easier. I… I'm babbling, aren't I?" A sniff, a sharp, shaky intake of breath. "I know I was never the best… girlfriend, and I really did like you. "But I feel like I'm just a distraction sometimes… and you seem distracted from me, at other times, too… and… and I know, given… who you are… that you're… well, you don't need a distraction right now. It's – dangerous."

Harry cleared his voice. Twice. "This is my fault, then." He was looking at the floor – I couldn't see it, but in my mind, I knew he would be. He does that when he's nervous. Avoids eye contact. "If that's the way you feel…"

Desperate. Pity-me routine. His heart was breaking but he'd never admit it. He loved her, or liked her a lot, and I knew so well – his long glances at her were unmistakably familiar.

"…so this is it, then?"

He sounded so weak. What did he look like? Did his eyes give away his pain? Was he crying? No, of course not.

"I'm sorry," Cho whispered – her voice was dry. As if she hadn't spoken in ages. "Harry… I don't want to hurt you, but there are certain ways a person feels that they can't help. I don't love you, Harry."

Brutal. Necessary.

"I won't lie to you."

She was gaining strength. But Harry was losing it… no attempt to interrupt. What would I see if I opened the door?

"Love isn't something you choose, it's something you feel in your heart. You can't help it, you can't stop it, and you can't start it or make believe. When it is real – you just… know it. Do you know it Harry?"

Harry didn't speak.

"I didn't think so."

Regret. Gray regret tinted her fragile-as-china voice.

A long pause before, "I'm sure there's someone else out there for you. I believe there's someone for everyone."

"Tcha." Doubt.

Part of me wanted to fling open the door and brilliantly announce, "It's me, Harry! I'm the one she's talking about! Sure, you've been blind, but I forgive you. I'm here for you."

But the stronger part of me kept me still.

A very long pause, and then Cho's voice seemed faraway. "You're a good person, Harry. You know that. You don't deserve any more pain. Don't waste your heartbreak on me. You'll find her soon. She may be just around the next corner… you know."

She was gone – so I assumed – and I flung open the door too dramatically. Harry stood still, as if moving would shake the two broken pieces of his heart apart. He didn't even hear me as I approached.

"Harry…"

Not even a glance. "Not now, Ginny."

Dismissed. Dismissed, and he was so sad that for once I was not glad to see him. For a moment I stood still in time, and then turned back towards the door. Towards my haven of dreary gray walls. It was all I had known, all I knew, and all I ever would.

PS A/N: The next chapter is not consistent with this draft. I made a cut for dramatic purposes. Basically what I cut was Ginny poking very angrily at her eggs (eggs are very offensive you know and deserve proper retribution) and Ginny decides to set up Harry and Cho again because (aww) he's ever-so-sad. I do intend to move all this to the next chapter though... so stay ... tuned?