Mission #5

Become Rappers

"Aragog, in this chapter, we get to become rappers!!" said the Ravenclaw Prefect excitedly.

"YAY!!" cheered Aragog.

"No, rappers do not say 'YAY!!' they say 'Word, mac daddy yo.'" Said the Ravenclaw Prefect all-knowingly.

"Oh.  Um…word mac daddy yo." Said Aragog.

"PERFECT!!!" said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "Wait…I mean…Dat's poppin'!"

"Do we HAVE to talk like rappers?" Aragog asked.

"Yes." Replied the Ravenclaw Prefect simply.

"All right…" said Aragog, rolling his eyes.  All eight of them.  (Because remember, he's a giant spider.)

"We need a name for ourselves." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "How about the Word Mac Daddy Yos?"

"No." said Aragog.

"Um…The Homies!"

"That will send ALL the wrong messages!!" yelled Aragog.

"Well I don't see YOU brainstorming!!" argued the Ravenclaw Prefect.

"I don't see how we can become rappers." Said Aragog.  "We're just not bad ass enough."

"AHA!!" said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "We'll call ourselves Bad Ass so no one can tell us that we're NOT bad ass!"

Just then, the head of the Ravenclaw house, whom I believe is Professor Flitwick, (and if he's not, don't smite us, Harry Potter fans) came over.  "Did I just hear a prefect uttering a swear word?" he said and then he left.

"Okay…we'll be Bad Rear End." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect nervously.

"That sounds SO stupid." Said Aragog.

"Fine…BRE.  And we'll leave everyone to figure out what it means and NEVER tell them!"

"RPAA." Said Aragog.

"What's that stand for?" asked the Ravenclaw Prefect.

"Ravenclaw Prefect and Aragog." Aragog replied.

"Oh." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "I guess…we could use that."  He then thought for a minute.  "Now let's hang up flyers all over school telling everyone to come to our concert!"

"What concert?!" demanded Aragog as the Ravenclaw Prefect began making signs.  "We don't even have any songs!!"

"That's nothing to worry about." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect with a laugh.  "We can just take previously famous songs and alter them so that no one will know the difference.  Aren't I clever?"

"Um…can't we get in trouble for that?" asked Aragog.

"No." said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "Now help me make some signs so that people will know when to come!!"

LATER

"I'll have you know that I don't stand for this!!" said Percy as he stormed into the Great Hall.  You could tell that he was awakened by the commotion since he still had his sleepy hair.  "I have already summoned Professor Snape to put a stop to all this."

"Why would you do something like that?!" demanded the Ravenclaw Prefect.

"Because you beat me up and stole my cookies." Said Percy.

"We didn't steal them!  We paid you for it!" said Aragog.

Percy thought for a minute.  "Oh.  So you did." He said with a nod.  "But you DID beat me up!"

"Percy, we'll argue with you later but the stage awaits." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect as he punted Percy through the roof of the school.  Aragog and the Ravenclaw Prefect chuckled warmly at Percy's expense but the school was chanting for them to come out and rap for them.  The Ravenclaw Prefect turned on the radio and they both walked out onto the stage.

 
The Ravenclaw Prefect
May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the real prefect please stand up?
I repeat, will the real prefect please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here
 
Aragog
Ya'll act like you never seen a giant spider before
Jaws all on the floor like the Basilisk just burst in the door
Starting killing students like never before
Just because I'm creepy, what you blaming me for?
It's the return of the
Aw wait no way you're kidding, 
He didn't blame Snape for ANOTHER mishap did he
And Harry said...
Nothing you idiot, Harry's whining over his scar (haha)
Femenist women loved Aragog
Chicka chicka chicka Harry Potter I'm sick of him
Look at him walking around in the middle of the night
Flipping through Restricted Section of the Library
Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in the school common rooms
Sometimes I wanna lie down and just let loose
But I can't, you know why?  Cause the Basilisk is loose!
I am on your list, I am on your list
And I'm not surprised if you think I killed the kids
Hagrid kept me away from all the kids
And you expect HIM to know where the Chamber is?
Hey, I don't even know where the Chamber is
And all those little first years
They know where it is, don't they?
 
Sorry, we're not mammals, in fact some of us cannibals
Who cut chase other people half way across the forest
But if we can live, all ten thousand of us
Then there's no reason that a few kids are making such a fuss
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
Listen to the song, sing the chorus and it goes
 
I'm Aragog
Yes I'm the real Aragog
All you other spiders are just imitating
So won't the real Aragog
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
Cuz I'm Aragog
Yes I'm the real Aragog
All you other spiders are just imitating
So won't the real Aragog
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
 
The Ravenclaw Prefect
Gryffindors don't gotta be important to have names
Well I do, so…um…
You think I care I got one line in the movie?
Half of the people didn't even get to say "Follow me!"
Aragog(But Prefect, you're in the second movie too)
Ravenclaw Prefect Yeah I still say the same, that's nothing to you
So you can sit me here next to Ron Weasley
Well, Hermione Granger better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter
And hear them argue over the snitch and who fairly caught her
Harry and his scar all over the TV
Aragog(Yeah but I've heard he had a little crush on Hermione)
Ravenclaw Prefect I should download my line on MP3
And show the whole world that I had a line in the movie
I'm here for you little first years all you do is ask me
Cause I been sent here to direct you
But there's a million of us just like me
Prefects  like me
Who have just one line like me
Who dress like me
Walk talk and act like me
It just might be
The next best thing
But not quite me
 
I'm a Prefect
Yes I'm the real prefects
All you other prefects…
 
"AHEM!!!!" Snape bellowed across the Great Hall.  All the students ran out of the room as fast as they could leaving the Ravenclaw Prefect and Aragog all alone.
"Something wrong Professor?" asked the Ravenclaw Prefect.
"I was listening and hoping that this song would get MILDLY clever but it just keeps getting worse and worse so I HAD to intervene." Said Snape.  "I will not have you making a mockery out of Hogwarts with you're HORRIBLY rapping!!!"
"But Professor…" whined Aragog.
"A HUNDRED POINTS FROM RAVENCLAW!!" bellowed Snape.
"Aww…" said Aragog and the Ravenclaw Prefect.
"EACH!!!" finished Snape.
Aragog and the Ravenclaw Prefect trudged back to the Ravenclaw common room.

"So…where do you think our points stand?" asked the Ravenclaw Prefect.