Mission #6

Make a R/H Romance Fanfiction

"This one will be easy!" declared the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "All we have to do is type!  There's no way we could POSSIBLY fail this mission!  Okay, Aragog, since you have the most arms, you type."

"But I don't have any fingers." Aragog pointed out.

"Fine, I'll type." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect as he sat down at one of the many computers that are in the Ravenclaw common room.  Yes.  There are computers in the Ravenclaw Common Room.  What?!  You have an ARGUEMENT?  I'd like to hear it.  You have PROOF that there are no computers in the Ravenclaw common room?  Just because they're NOT in the Slytherin Common Room and the Gryffindor Common Room doesn't mean that they're not in the Ravenclaw Common Room.  And guess what?!  There are MICROWAVES too!

"So anyway…" said Aragog.  "So R is obviously Ron Weasley since he's the only person I can think of off the top of my head whose name begins with R.  Well, besides YOU, Ravenclaw Prefect."

"I'm not going to be in the story." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect.

"Well…the H has to be Hermione Granger." Said Aragog.

"Obviously." Agreed the Ravenclaw Prefect.

"So let's get this started." Said Aragog.

Ron had previously gotten in a fight with Malfoy again because Malfoy had insulted Hermione's family.  So now he was in the hospital wing and Hermione was sitting by his bed…

"This is HORRIBLE." Said Aragog.

"Don't insult my writing!!" bellowed the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "I'm trying to compose!!"

"Fine…" said Aragog with a sigh.

"Why did you do that Ron?" asked Hermione.

"Because, Hermione, I love you." Said Ron.  Suddenly, a lightning bolt scar appeared on Hermione's forehead and her hair got shorter and then she put on her glasses.  But she wasn't really a she anymore.  She was a he.  He was Harry Potter.

"Harry!" said Ron.  "I knew it was you!"

"Of course Ron." Said Harry.  "I love you."

"I love you too Harry." Said Ron.

"Wait…wait what?" said Aragog.  "Did Hermione just turn into Harry?"

"Yeah…" said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "I started having second thoughts on who the H in the title was.  I thought that maybe Harry would be better."

"Oh I guess so." Said Aragog.  "Both of their names DO start with H."

So later when all of Ron's wounds were healed, he and Harry decided to go and frolic around in the middle of the night in the Restricted Section of the Library with the Invisibility Cloak.  They tried to take outa oe

"WHAT?!" demanded the Ravenclaw Prefect because Aragog had suddenly yelled for him to stop.

"What if the H is HAGRID?" demanded Aragog.

"Oh yeah!" said the Ravenclaw Prefect.

"So…are we supposed to write a love story between Ron and Hagrid?" said Aragog slowly.

"I guess so." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect.

"That's crazy!" declared Aragog.

After their night frolic, they decided to go to Hagrid's house.  When they got there, Hagrid made some tea.

"Are you thirsty Ron my love?" asked Hagrid.

"Yes my dearest Hagrid." Said Ron.

"Wait, what happened to Harry?" asked Aragog.

Harry left.

"I'm glad that Harry is gone so we can be alone." Said Hagrid.

"Doesn't Harry's owl's name start with an H?" asked Aragog.

"Perhaps, Aragog." Sighed the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "But I doubt that Ron would fall in love with an owl."

"It could happen you know." Said Aragog.

"No, I really don't think it could." The Ravenclaw Prefect said as he went back to the computer.

"What if the H stands for Hogwarts?" asked Aragog.

"How can Hogwarts return Ron's love?" asked the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "And why would Ron be in love with a building?"

"It's a magic building."

"Yeah but it's still a building."

"Well he's always talking about how he likes it here."

"Maybe it's not Ron." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "Because there's no way that Ron is in love with this building in that kind of way."

"No one else's name starts with R." Aragog reminded him.

"Hm…how about that Professor Lupin guy?" suggested the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "You know, that THIRD Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher that turns into a werewolf?"

"What about him?  His name starts with an L."

"But his first name starts with an R."

"Yeah but…would he REALLY be in love with a building?"

"I guess not…"

"Who WOULD be in love with building whose name starts with R?"

"What if it's not an R?  What if it's a smudged P?" said the Ravenclaw Prefect as he looked at the paper.  The two of them stared at the paper for a minute or two.

"Maybe it is…" agreed Aragog.

"So you know who this is." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect with a nod.  "It's Percy."

"Yeah.  Percy is DEFINITELY in love with Hogwarts."

"All right.  So we have to write a story about Percy and Hogwarts?"

"I guess so.  Let's just start over all together."

"I love you Hogwarts." Said Percy.

"I love you too Percy." Said Hogwarts.

"This can't be right." Said Aragog.

"Yeah…you're right." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "What if the P stands for Professor?"

"Professor Snape?" suggested Aragog with a devious grin.

"Yeah!!" said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "Professor Snape and Percy!  They are so perfect for each other."

"All right!  Let's write it!!" said Aragog.

"I love you Percy." Said Professor Snape.

"I love you too Professor Snape." Said Percy.

"Why don't we meet in my room, Percy?" said Professor Snape.

"My rooms a lot more comfortable…Severus." Said Percy with a wink.

"Severus?!" laughed Aragog.  "That's his first name?!"

"I know!!" said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "Isn't that funny?!"

"I don't see what's so funny." Came Snape's chipmunky voice from above them.  They looked up to see that Professor Snape was, in fact standing right there not looking very amused.

"Holy crap Professor Snape!" said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "What are you doing in here?!"

"This is the Slytherin Common Room!" bellowed Snape.

"But the Slytherin Common Room doesn't have any computers!!" yelled the Ravenclaw Prefect as he looked around to see Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle standing there being Slytherins.  There were other Slytherins too, but they're not important enough to be mentioned.

"Yes…I know…" said Snape, observing the computers.  "Which makes it even more curious as to why you're here."

"Yeah…I'm kind of wondering that too." Said the Aragog as he looked around.

"Well, let's just leave it at the fact that I had to get into this chapter and take away points from you SOMEHOW and if you were to just sit all day in the Ravenclaw Common Room, how would I have possibly done that?" Snape asked.

The Ravenclaw Prefect and Aragog looked at each other, shrugged and then nodded at Snape.  He had a point.

"Now tell me what you're doing!" Snape HOLL-ered as he pushed the Ravenclaw Prefect out of the way and sat down at the computer.  He started reading from the beginning until he finally reached the part with he and Percy and then stopped.

"Well…we were writing an R/H romance so…" started the Ravenclaw Prefect but then he stopped.  He looked at Aragog.  "Well…it WAS an R/H story but it somehow evolved into you and Percy."

"I will not tolerate this!" yelled Snape.  "Now, if I calculated everything properly, that would be 343 ½ points from Ravenclaw!  I will also deduct ten points from anyone who was in this story as well!  So that means that Gryffindor loses forty points!  But then again…Hagrid is PRACTICALLY in Grffindor since he favors them oh so much so that's FIFTY points from Gryffindor!"

And then he started swooping away.

"Um…not to be rude or anything but…" started Aragog as Snape turned around and eyed him evilly.  "You and Malfoy were in the story so shouldn't that be twenty points from Slytherin?"

"Twenty points AWARDED to Slytherin for being victimized by your horrible fiction!!" bellowed Professor Snape as he ran away as fast as he could so they couldn't question him.

"Okay…that wasn't really fair." Sighed the Ravenclaw Prefect as he and Aragog left the Slytherin Common Room and made their way to the Ravenclaw Common Room.  But since Gryffindor was ON THE WAY to Ravenclaw, they bumped into Percy who was raging about.

"A bunch of third years woke me up from my slumber and informed me that WE SUDDENLY ARE SHORT FIFTY POINTS!!!" bellowed Percy.  "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?!?!"

"Um…no?" said Aragog.

Percy eyed him but no one could take him seriously with his sleepy hair.

"Look, we're not even IN Gryffindor." Said the Ravenclaw Prefect.  "How could we have POSSIBLY taken away points from YOUR house?"

"Hm…I suppose." Said Percy as he walked away, continuing to eye them suspiciously.

"But Ravenclaw Prefect, we DID make them lose those points." Said Aragog as they walked into the Ravenclaw Common Room.

"Yeah but Percy doesn't have to know that." The Ravenclaw Prefect said with a devious grin.