I Really Do Believe That I Don't Belong Here
Chapter Six – If I Could Just See You, Hold You, Tonight.
By Lindsey Ann
Author Notes: Alright. I could die and be happy, you all continue to review. And it's just cool to know that I have readers. This chapter is more or less going to be more on developing the characters. Also, if any of guys like anime or videogames I hang out a community called An Eternal Shine. We even have a Harry Potter role-play that takes place during Tom Riddle's era! Just please behave yourselves. I'm a close friend of the owner.
Summary: Ginny Weasley has always been unsure about herself, especially when it comes to the fact that she belongs in Gryffindor. In a long talk with Draco Malfoy, she starts to think he actually does act like a person, and that maybe she belongs in Slytherin.
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Ginny hugged her coat close to her body as she left the warm building that she was in. It was her class time for Care of Magical Creatures - her favorite class. A girl from Hufflepuff walked by her side. "You're Ginny Weasley, right?" The girl asked trying to spark up conversation.
Ginny nodded as she looked out onto the snow filled Quidditch field. She wasn't in a mood to really talk – even though she had considerably gone off from her depression.
"I'm sorry about you and Malfoy." The girl said.
It made Ginny stop walking. How did that girl know about those two? But they were never an item – just good friends. "Me and Draco?" Ginny asked. She could never call Draco 'Malfoy' again. If she called him 'Malfoy' it was saying that they never were friends – which was a lie.
"A couple of first years saw you two break up. I know it was nosy of them," She said. "I scolded them. Don't worry about that." Ginny nodded, relived that the Hufflepuff girl was talking to her – not a lot of people did, especially after they had heard about her and Draco. Ginny was even more of a freak – the only two people who were talking to her were Fred and George – not even her closest brother Ron and the dream team would talk to her. But she didn't seem to mind. She had a lot of free time. Most of the time was used to research about Draco's mother. But she still couldn't answer if she was alive or not.
The Hufflepuff girl who walked next to her felt compelled to introduce herself. "I'm Allie." She said.
"Hi." Ginny said. One question bugged her. Was this girl here to befriend her so she could learn even more freakish things about her? But it wouldn't ruin Ginny – it would only ruin Ginny if they had reached Draco.
Draco was still on her mind. She would win him back. His devilish grin she longed to see. She hadn't seen him since their last conversation. She had avoided any person involved in that. She supposed that she deserved it. It was her fault that they got caught. Guilt always filled her heart.
The silence was broken by Allie. "Ginny?" She asked getting her attention. "A lot of us Hufflepuffs have been worried about you." She said. Hufflepuffs always cared about how people were – they were naturally kind and good-hearted.
"Worried about what?" Ginny asked. Was it her fault that everyone was staying away from her because she had – no matter how hard she tried – given them the cold shoulder? She never used to be like that before. She sighed.
"Well, you've seemed different since the 2nd year. It's as if you had something horrible happen." She said with concern obviously in her voice. "And now about the Malfoy thing..." She said, her voice wandering off.
"Don't worry. I'm okay." Ginny said to Allie pretending to smile. "See I'm my old light-hearted self," she said with despair in her voice.
"You sure?" Allie asked. She wasn't fooled by how Ginny was acting. Ginny nodded. "Okay then, but if you need someone to talk to, my ears are always open to hear." Allie said as she began to walk away.
It stunned Ginny that people could be nice since for the past few weeks she had pretty much seen people hate her and be mean. Why was she of all people getting cursed like this? Was this destiny's way of a cruel joke? If it was, it wasn't funny, not even the least bit funny.
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After Care of Magical Creatures, Ginny was free for the day. And without even thinking she went to the same place she did everyday after school was over – the library. She didn't study; she didn't need it. She had a natural knack for all of her classes – except divination, but who had a natural ability for that? Divination was full of guesses. You never could be sure about anything concerning the inner eye.
Going down the hall near Moaning Myrtle's bathroom ("She's crying again," Ginny commented. She had felt a lot like Moaning Myrtle was lately.), Ginny kept her eyes focused on the ground.
The next thing she remembered was a big thud and everything blurry and then collapsing to the ground.
Everything was dark; she couldn't remember the events that had happened.
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She woke up some time later in the hospital wing. How did I get here? Ginny asked as she scanned the room.
Next to her beside, sleeping soundly in a chair was the very boy she thought hated her. Why would he save her? "Draco..," she said softly as she pulled her body closer to his, taking a good look at him.
He was so angelic. He was making her nervous. The expression on his face was one full of worry. Was he worried about her? Or was he worried about something else?
She slipped her body back in a sleeping position, closing her eyes. She could have made a good actress, it actually looked like she was sleeping when Draco Malfoy eyes opened to see her.
"You idiot," Draco said as he looked at her. "You've been skipping meals because of me haven't you?" He asked as he pulled back her hair, straightening it, smoothing out her flame colored frocks.
Ginny could almost feel Draco's breath on her face. It made her heart race. "You know there's a reason why I have to treat you like dirt." He said as his warm finger tips traced her face. "Its official I can't stop it. I have to be a death eater," he said hoping that she was hearing his explanation in some way. "For you mom, and dad."
He scribbled something down. Opening her wrist, he softly placed in her hand, clasping it shut.
And he left.
Ginny drifted in a deep sleep after he left, wondering what it was that he put in her hand. She dreamt. But it wasn't a good dream; it was a nightmare. Of her growing old and never getting married (her biggest fear – some girls were afraid of spiders, she was afraid of never loving someone) still waiting for Draco to come back to her. She had heard his explanation, but what if Voldemort never gets killed? Was she supposed to wait for someone – possibly Harry Potter – to come and kill Voldemort? Would she be alone forever? She didn't want to have that happen – if Harry Potter wasn't going to get rid of Voldemort – she would. Couldn't love conquer all? How was she sure that she was in love?
"Well, you're finally up," Madam Pomfrey said as she noticed the Ginny was reading the note over and over again. "Poor Mr. Malfoy he was very worried about you," she said.
"He was?"
"Yeah, he was the one who brought you and stayed with you until he knew you were okay." Ginny had a look shock. She did know that Draco had come to visit her, but he was worried for Madam Pomfrey to notice? And he of all people had brought her to the hospital wing? If she hadn't heard his confession – she wouldn't have believed it because according to their last conversation he had hated her.
"He did?"
"Of course and when I told him you were weak possibly because of skipping meals," she said noticing Ginny's guilty look. Unlike most girls who wallowed away their pain in food, Ginny would skip meals instead. She had skipped a lot of meals recently to learn more about Draco's mother, or just because she didn't have the courage to look at Draco again, knowing they could never be a couple – well, not until they had a couple of things shoved out of the way. Madam Pomfrey continued, "He went pretty upset. He was just saying, 'Skipping meals?', and then asked for him to stay here until I knew for sure you will alright."
"He was concerned," Ginny said quietly. But Madam Pomfrey heard anyways.
"It was like when Miss Granger was a victim back in her second year, remember?" She asked. Ginny nodded. She continued on as she crossed her arms, "Your brother and Mr. Potter visited her often. It was just like that, except it was only Mr. Malfoy and he was very concerned." Madam Pomfrey arched an eyebrow. "Are you two an item?"
Ginny was shocked. Could adults notice if people were going out – even ones that knew very little about you? "No, we're not. Just good friends."
"Then you have a marvelous friend. Now off you go, you can catch dinner at the Great Hall if you hurry." Madam Pomfrey said as she motioned Ginny to get up and go. "I don't want you skipping any meals – if you're in here again for that I'll mention it to Minerva." She said as she watched Ginny walk out the door.
Ginny's eyes were intent on the message as she continue reading it over again.
Virginia, meet me at Moaning Myrtle's bathroom after dinner. We have to talk about some things.
-Draco
What did Draco want to say? Did he want to apologize to her face? What if he wanted to break her heart even more? No, if there was one thing that Ginny knew about Draco it was his real character – he'd never do that. So, when he had denied her feelings, there must've been a reason, Ginny thought as she headed toward the Great Hall.
She sat herself next to George and Fred who had been plotting a terrible plot against Ron. ("He deserves it. He broke you and your prince charming up," Fred said – of course they didn't know who it was.) Ginny was glad that she had brother like this. She grinned, "You guys get him good." She said encouragingly.
Before she had thought her brothers were immature, but they weren't - they were looking out for her.
After dinner she rushed for Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Waiting just outside was Draco. Her heart began to race again. She wanted to scream, 'I love you', at him and then hug him and give him a kiss. But she stopped herself and only managed to say, "Draco."
He motioned for her to walk into the bathroom, making sure no one was around. When they got in there they heard Moaning Myrtle yell at Draco, "Lucius Malfoy! You dumped Grace? How could you!" She said as she floated near the two. "She's not even as pretty as Grace."
It then occurred to the ghost that some time had passed since Lucius Malfoy had gone to school at Hogwarts. "S-s-sorry." She said. She looked at both faces. "You look a lot like Lucius," Myrtle said to Draco as she pushed her glasses.
"I'm his kid." Draco replied back to her.
Moaning Myrtle grinned. "So he and Grace hitched!" Draco didn't bother to explain to her that they did marry but Grace wasn't around for some reason. "Just like your dad. When he and Grace had to talk they'd sneak in here." She said. "I'll leave you two lovebirds alone." She said as she winked. It was the first time that probably any Hogwarts didn't see her wailing.
Draco led Ginny, gently holding her hand, to the farthest place away from Moaning Myrtle; he didn't want her to hear their conversation.
"Virginia," Draco started but he was silenced by Ginny.
"Draco..." She said her eyes downcast. "I heard everything you said today… Madam Pomfrey told me what you did." Tears were starting to fill her eyes. She felt Draco's warm body pressed against hers. "Isn't there some way that you can prevent this? Maybe we should talk to Dumbledore." She said in between sobs; she hadn't cried this much since Christmas.
"I'm going to do whatever can to not let you get hurt," he told her. "And if I went into hiding the first person they track down would be Snape. They'd eventually find you," he said with a bit of sorrow in his voice. "This is the only choice I have if I want to make sure you and everyone I care about stays alive then I have to do this."
He seemed too determined for Ginny to try and even think about convincing him about not doing it. She knew that somehow that they'd figure out a way. After all, love conquered all. "So that's why you gave me the cold shoulder." She gave a sigh of relief. "I thought it was because of me... That I wasn't good enough."
He was shocked by the words that she had said, "Not good enough? Virginia, when did you get a little ego?"
"After my first year, you know after the whole Tom Riddle thing," she said sending up shivers down her spine again. She never wanted to touch an enchanted diary again. She had trouble picking up unenchanted ones, kept making sure that the diary wouldn't write back. She had gotten to know the real You-Know-Who he had fed off of her secrets – her worries – anything that was particularly negative.
Draco gave a guilty look. He knew for a fact that he had suggested Ginny to be the victim – of course he hadn't known her then. "Virginia," she interrupted him again.
"Why are you calling me that now?" She asked. Maybe he was like Percy's sweetheart in that respect – of course very different – that she was too grown up to have a childish name.
"You had to grow up because of how I treated you," he said as he ran his fingers through her hair. He wanted to kiss her, but he couldn't. Not yet. "I didn't once catch you trying to kill me, plot the dream team against me, you went on as yourself." He stopped for a moment in thought. "You grew up. I can't call you a name meant for a child."
"You're just like Percy's girlfriend," she said as she mumbled to herself. "Except a lot cuter. And the obvious you a boy."
He gave a devilish grin. "I know I'm cute. I know I'm irresistible."
She clasped her hand into his. "Want to go on a walk?" She asked. "If you we did it right – no one would catch us."
He was still smirking. "I've been a bad influence on you."
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Author Notes: Tad bit shorter this time than last. But I have a whole chapter planned out on their walk – and I wanted it to be its own chapter. Sorry this one took longer to post. While I'm at it, if any of you guys are AIM role-players (like through chat – like you and me and a story to role-play) please IM me (On AIM) at SailorTeddyBear. I also would like to know I'm already notifying some of you about when I post new chapters – anyone else want me to do that for them?
FireDemon, yeah Draco can be a jerk and then he can be a nice guy. It's such a dynamic character.
Txteva, Yeah it wasn't sweet but it's good to know that if I ever need to write un-sweet fic that I can.
Azalai, your comment made me go check out Dazma. Dazma writes really well. Sorry I made you cry – I made me cry too :(.
A Devilish Angel, cool I got Draco in a less OOC-ness…But this chapter probably made him OOC again… Whoops.
^*^mArIpOsA^*^, Hmm… Well *gives a smirk* guess you'll have to wait for later chapters to find out about those questions you have. Or contact one of the readers, they all do fantastically well in divination. ^^ I am so proud of my readers – they'd have a breeze in Professor Trelawny's class.
Chocolate Muse, You're making me crave chocolate again! Anyways... I know Ch5 was really depressing. I mean if I cried and other people cried – it must have been depressing to the extreme.
Golden Red Phoenix, thanks for suggesting all the four page length from now on I guarantee that all chapters will be four pages – or close to it.
Anonymous review, Aww you left no name. But *smirks* we'll have to see about the happy bit… I can't say. My suggestion is asking another one of those readers who are really good at Divination.
Starlight Nemesis, Yay! My sweetness is appreciated. Thanks for saying the plot is interesting.
Raven Black, I'm making people read fluff and like it – yes, my life is complete. *Plot to rule the world using fluff – I can check that off of my to-do list*
Fallendarkstar, I know you! We role-play together. I told you Draco and Ginny were a cool couple. :)
Cashelle, I'll better send you the e-mail soon that I uploaded this… Thanks for the review.
Gin, I should have gone trick-or-treating as little devil! Hah! Its no problem that I'm writing this story – I really love the Draco/Ginny pairing.