Chapter Five: The (Cough) Showdown
Erik and his new chum tumble out of their carriage, swapping sob stories about their horrible, mean authority figures.
"…And one time, she wanted me to be home by ten, and I told her no way, and she made me sit in the corner for an hour!"
"Wow, man, that's way harsh…"
Erik tugs at his companion's sleeve. "This way, Wally, my boy." He points to a trapdoor. "If we take my shortcut, we can get to Christine without all the screaming and fainting ballet girls."
The Phantom and his…er, rival…finally pop up behind the mirror. Raoul looks impressed. "Wow, a hall of mirrors! Is this Six Flags?"
"No, it's my house."
"Cool!"
Erik is cheered by the praise. "Really? Nadir always says it would look better in pastels." He pushes the mirror open, revealing Christine in the middle of changing for a performance.
Christine screams and runs behind a screen. "God, Erik, don't you ever knock?"
"No." He rubs his battered head, still bearing the marks of his earlier clash with the doorman. "I've learned my lesson about entering doors the traditional way."
Christine notices Raoul and screams again. "What are you doing here?" She runs over, shielding him protectively. "Run, my beloved! Quickly, before the Phantom sees you and goes mad with jealousy!"
Raoul pulls free. "Oh, really, Christine, don't be hysterical."
"Yes, Christine, don't try and distract us. We know you've been cheating on us!"
"Huh?"
Raoul marches over to stand beside Erik. "Don't play stupid! Just choose-him or me?"
Erik nods. "Yeah. We want commitment!"
Christine grasps her head in bewilderment. "You two aren't supposed to be ganging up on me!" She moves over to Erik. "Honey, you're the mysterious seducer, remember?" She pats Raoul on the arm. "And you're the knight in shining armor, remember pumpkin?" She pulls a set of pistols out of a drawer. "Now, go on. Duel for me like good romantic rivals."
Raoul reluctantly takes a pistol. "Well…I guess, if you insist..."
"Really, Christine! Wally and I are friends now. There's no need to resort to violence."
Christine stares at him. "No need for violence? What kind of seducer are you?!" She stamps her foot. "Go on, duel!"
Erik turns to leave, unwilling to listen to this madness any longer. "I must be going. Wally, why don't you see if you can calm her down?" He ducks back through the mirror, wondering if perhaps he should take her down to visit Doc.
Yes, okay, sorry, this just seems to be getting weirder and no matter what I do I can't seem to normalize it. (*evil laugh* I no longer control the fic, the fic controls ME! MWAHAHAHAHA…ahem…) Anyway, continued once again…