These are just stories in honor of one of the best shows ever and none of it is mine, dammit!
This one takes place at some point during a typical Max and Logan emotional, viral, relationshippy crisis. You know the type. Read the title and you'll know the episode as well…
No ratings anymore unless necessary.
It's a dark rainy night. Angst is running amok and emotions are high. There's a fire and some rain and a truth is finally realized.
From My Brother
'I learned that from my brother.' The thought drifted from Max and traveled out over the city. Logan felt it. How could he not? Logan was as much on her mind as Zach was. She chose Logan when she could have as easily chosen Zach. Logan turned and looked out through the night over the darkened city toward the space needle. He knew she was sitting there staring down on the city, maybe praying for his safety, certainly praying for Zach's.
Logan had taken care of everything. He had made all the arrangements. He sent Zach off to a friend and informant that could use a strong and healthy young man to do some heavy work. Someone to help protect his new family in these dark times.
"I did the right thing." Logan said out loud. "Didn't I?" He asked the sky as he looked upwards taking in the dark clouds of the coming storm. "Didn't I?" He whispered.
Max wandered through the rain on her way to nowhere in particular and when she realized she was standing outside of Fogle Towers, she looked up into the rain splashing down on her face. There was light coming from the penthouse, but that didn't necessarily mean he was home. Where else would he be if not home.
"My own brother tried to kill you." She said out loud. "Why would you even want me around?" She asked the penthouse. The answer came from somewhere behind her.
"My life would have no meaning without you in it…" Logan said. Max spun to see him standing there in the rain holding a bag. He was completely soaked. She could tell he was drinking. It was just wine, but Logan was this kind of a drinker. He resembled a responsible man most of the time. She stared at him. He stared at her. She had chosen him and in that process guaranteed Zach a far better life than he ever would have had.
"Why do you care about me? My very existence is a danger to you. My touch means your death and who knows how many Manticore soldiers have the contract on your life? You should hate me." Max said.
"I don't. I can't. I could never hate you." Logan said. "I admit I don't like Zach much, but I wish him no harm. I tried to give him a good life. He should be very happy where he is. Buddy told me there's even a girl they can introduce him to. He'll have a better life, a good life." Logan said.
"And what of your life?" Max demanded. "What about White? What about the Reds? Who knows how many others out there are trying to hunt me down for genetic experiments and breeding?" Max was just getting started, but Logan interrupted.
"What about Eyes Only?" Logan asked. "What about my life? Max, I was doing dangerous things long before I met you. My parents were assassinated and I lost my sister. Not even two years old and she died a horrible death in an explosion on board a plane. I have fought every day of my life that I might live in a world that is safe. At least Zach is alive and will have a good life. I never dreamed my life could be as good as the life he will have now. I never believed it could be possible for me to be happy again. Then I met you."
"Me?" Max asked. She pretended to not understand what Logan was talking about, but she knew. She had chosen him over her own brother and here he stood telling her how much he wants what Zach and Tinga and the others want. "I am your downfall, Logan. I touch you and you die. It has almost happened twice now. I've almost killed you and there is nothing that can make this virus go away. I should never have come back that time. I should have left Seattle then and there and never looked back. I can see it happening, Logan." I can see it. Max thought. 'I'm your downfall.'
"No you're not." Logan said. "You're the reason I live and breathe. To make this world safe for you means I can make this world safe for everyone."
"How do you figure?" Max demanded.
"If I can protect a genetically engineered super heroine then I can protect anyone. I'd have to say that I've held my own so far." He continued. "You are all that matters to me." He said taking a step forward. "Today you proved that I matter to you but if you want to leave then go. I can't stop you, but I will not stand here and let you beat yourself up about something that is beyond our control. At least for now."
"You don't understand." Max said.
"I don't understand?" He laughed. "What exactly do I not understand?" He demanded stepping dangerously close to Max forcing her into the wall behind her. "Tell me what I don't understand, Max. Tell me about Manticore. Explain to me how you can still let that place rule over your emotions and dictate your life. Tell me about being obsessed with something because I've never let that happen to me. We both know I've never been obsessed with anything." The sarcasm was not lost at that moment.
Max looked down and turned her head to the side. She knew Logan was right. Since day one, he has understood. His life is just as dangerous as hers. He was always looking over his shoulder, not knowing who was onto him or gunning for him or just hunting him. He had been fighting criminals since Max was living in LA and running with that street gang. Major bad guys with seemingly infinite resources in this broken world stalking Eyes Only and Max had been running from Manticore and Lydecker exclusively. The man standing before her understood. He made the choice to take those risks himself. She had been forced to deal with those risks.
There was nothing new to Logan's world that hadn't been there in some guise before. The assassins had always been hunting him only now there were new assassins after him as well as the old ones. He had his own enemies and he had taken on Max's enemies as well. This time, though, some of those enemies were genetically engineered or at least bred to be that way.
"I refuse to let anything happen to you. I will die before I allow harm to come to you or your screwed up family." The words bit deep into Max. He noticed it in her eyes. "At least you have one to speak of. I work very hard to protect you, Max and I will never stop, but if you want to, then go ahead and leave. I can't stop you. Understand this, though. I don't want you to go. I need you." Logan said.
"Your personal foot soldier. Your legs…" Max started.
"The only woman I have ever loved." Logan said. "The only woman I would ever offer myself to. You are the only thing in my world worth living or dying for. Everything I am is yours. If that's not good enough then I don't know what is and I doubt I will ever learn. Not unless you tell me." Logan said. He didn't give Max a chance to say anything. He just turned, took a drink from his bag and headed off into the rainy darkness of a post curfew night. She watched him walk away.
"I'm sorry." She muttered quietly. "I'm so sorry."
"I don't care." Logan shouted over his shoulder. "I don't care about anything anymore." He muttered.
He turned the corner heading for the sector checkpoint and Max could hear the empty bottle crash against a building as it shattered, discarded and empty. Broken like the man that had just been carrying it, just like the woman standing in the rain.
* * * * * * * * *
Logan walked into his apartment about eleven a.m. the next morning. Max was pacing the office floor talking to Sebastian.
"I don't know where he is." His disembodied mechanical voice said. "I haven't spoken to him for a couple of weeks."
"He just walked in. Thanks for speaking with me Sebastian. Thanks for listening." Max said. She turned and almost ran over to Logan.
"Where did you go?" Max asked. She stopped short when she noticed Logan was walking slowly and there was dried blood on his arm. His face and neck was smudged with dirt and grime as if he had been in a fire or rubbing soot over himself. She noticed burns marking his skin in various places although they didn't look too serious. "Logan! What happened?" She yelled.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled. "I was drunk and I shouldn't have yelled at you, but you can be so frustrating sometimes that I don't know what I can do to make you understand what you mean to me." Logan was babbling. "And then there is the matter of secret agencies and criminal organizations and who knows who else is hunting us or hunting me at the very least. I have enemies. I have so many enemies. So did Sonrisa. I'll bet Mayor Steckler tried to hire someone to find me. Bronck had people. He had an entire supply line set up for those girls and who's to say they aren't going to come looking for me. How many have figured out who you are and will hunt you to get to me. I'm endangering you just by associating with..."
"Logan!" Max shouted. He looked up at her as if noticing her for the first time. "What happened to your arm?" She demanded as she followed Logan into his bedroom where he pulled off his grimy coat and shirt and tossed them on a heap onto the floor. He headed for the bathroom.
"I tried to save her. God, I tried, but... I couldn't. The firemen pulled me out of the building just as it collapsed. One of them was killed inside. So was the girl. I could have gotten to her, but they wouldn't let me. I knew where she was. The fireman didn't. I told her to wait. I told her I wouldn't let her die and I did. I yelled at them… I fought them, but they had me outnumbered and they stopped me and now two of them are dead, when no one should have been killed."
"What are you talking about?" Max asked. Logan turned the water on in the shower and started to take off his pants. The water was cool. Max couldn't see any steam. "What fire?"
"There was a fire in sector seven. I was wandering along when I heard someone scream. I tried to get to her, but I ran into several other people on my way up to her floor. I couldn't get to her. When I came out with the baby, the firemen wouldn't let me go back in and she died with the one that was trying to save her when the building finally collapsed." Logan said as he dropped the exo-skeleton and lifted his legs one at a time into the shower and onto the seat rigged for his handicapped self. Max watched him. He reached for the elastic waist of his boxers and started to pull them off of his seemingly useless legs as if Max wasn't standing there. She left the room.
Out front, Max was standing in front of the television when the news report came on about an early morning fire that killed two. The anchor was talking about an unknown man that had miraculously pulled twenty-three people out of the burning building and then just as mysteriously disappeared into the early morning without expecting recognition for his heroic acts. They asked for information to his identity, but Max knew she could never say anything simply because of Eyes Only and White and everything else they had done since the Sonrisa incident.
She was so proud in that moment that she was ashamed at how quickly the emotions ripped through her because she didn't follow him last night. Had she been there, she would have helped him and together, they would have saved everyone in that building before it had become remotely dangerous, but she had been selfish in her loathing.
The thought hit her then, hard. That was the thing. They could accomplish so much when they were alone, but when they were together, so much more good seemed to come of their actions and last night was a prime example. Logan was alone and he couldn't save everyone, but had she been standing beside him, they would have saved everyone. She cursed herself for not believing. She cursed herself for not believing in him.
She cursed herself for not believing in her self.
Well…
That was a little dark wasn't it.
It's what I was feeling after watching the episode.
Let me know what you think.
Just so you understand. These season two tweaks (and all the season one vignettes and short stories that I have stored on a disc somewhere) are all connected in spirit if not storyline.
Hope you enjoy the story. Let me know what you think.