not sayin'
not charmed at all
not sayin'
that you weren't worth
the fall
and i was alone when
i knew it was real
down the canyon
when i knew i had come
***********************
He watched from the corner, almost kneeling, prayer-like.
She had control over her body, moving back and forth, like an
evil reptile, snake-like. Sex-like, something he'd never seen
in her before.
She kept dancing for him, eyes closed so tight, all he could see
from the corner was eyelashes. Long, black wet eyelashes.
Pratt leaned back, licking his lips. She was nothing but a body,
hips for him to dig his nails into, breasts to attach his mouth
to. A thing.
She kept dancing. Slow, careful sounds over the radio.Cooing, he
noted. Sounded like dense cooing, and watching her again, his stomach
turning, she wasn't dancing, she was rocking herself, hands at her
side, eyes closed so she couldn't see his face.
But she returned his touches, bucked and moaned under his body.
He buried his face in his hands, remebering how touching Abby
was the same. Abby was just a body, something to rub against, to
let go of all that friction.
Pratt touched her cheek, and bile rose in his throat. She didn't
respond, didn't rest her cheek against the palm of her hand. She didn't
open her eyes.
***********************
to the line
through the dawn
to the light
to the turn
when you said
************************
He watched Pratt get up. Got up, strecthed in front of the mirror,
eyeing himself. Bile rose in his throat again, and he swallowed hard.
Salty chemcial taste on the top of his mouth.
She rested against the pillow, hugging it to her chest. Still hadn't
opened her eyes. Maybe that was how whenever she came into work, her
eyes were wide, wet, dark brown. And sad.
His hand touched his own thigh, running his hand along absentmindly,
imaging it was his touch comforting her, not the poly-blend sheets
against her body.
"I'm going" Pratt called. She grunted an answer, lying perfectly still
till his footsteps had left the room, down the hall. Jing Mei stood up,
and cried.
Cried hard, tears racing down her cheeks, shoulders shaking. He'd never
seen her cry that hard, he remebered. Not even when she left the hospital
for him. Going away, to God know's where, then coming back, this new person.
Someone he didn't know.
*****************************
so i let crazy
take a spin
then i let crazy
settle in
kicked off my shoes
shut reason out
he said "first let's just
unzip your religion
down"
*******************************
His hand didn't contrast against her skin like Pratt's. It almost blended in
with her. He couldn't tell them apart, except for the littering of brown freckles
on the back of his hand.
He touched her shoulder, felt her hold her breath.
"It's just me" he said quietly.
She let the tears flow again, sighing loudly.Letting everything go now that she
knew someone. Now that she had an allie, with his hand on her bare back. His eyes
burning into her lower back, searching and memorizing each strecth mark, each
dimple.
She was crying too hard to cover up.Crying too hard to be obessed with covering
up her bareness. He was Carter. He wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't touch her. Wouldn't
take advantage of her.
But now he saw her as the dancer. The evil snake, sex. He moved his hand on her stomach
and Jing Mei fell back into him, muttering something about trust,and friendship, and how
she had loved him.
Didn't he know she had loved him.
****************************
found that i
i craved at all
saw me melt
into your
native shelter
where you carved my
name
paper tigers scare
and came
****************************
Her lips were bright pink next to the skin on his hip. Her fingernails, pink, barely stood
out against the pale pale flesh with freckles. But she drew in little pockets of him, sucked
hard then, ran her tongue down the inside of his leg.
This is what you did for those you loved. She couldn't touch him, she told Carter. He touched her,
she went through the motions blindly. She'd memorized when to scream, when to grab for him tightly.
But when she grabbed for him, he slipped through her fingers like a dying fish.
Carter shuddered.
He slipped away like a dying fish. Carter's mouth dropped open, searching for air while she
kissed him, touched only the places he touched at night while Abby slept beside him, curled
tight. So no one would hurt her, she said.
She didn't want Carter to touch her in the middle of the night.
He ran his fingers through her hair. Her hair had always looked cold. It was cold to his
touch on the roof. Now her raven hair almost felt on fire. He shuddered again, bringing his
palm up to his eyes,to look for long strands of red on his palm. She had to have burned him.
She let his fingers pull him up to her. Her skin against his shirt.Her skin against his bare
legs.
She loved him, didn't he know?
*****************************
so i let crazy
pull me in
then i let crazy
take his spin
kicked off my shoes
shut reason out
he said "first let's just unzip
your religion down"
heard that you were once
"temptation's girl"
not charmed at all
not sayin'
that you weren't worth
the fall
and i was alone when
i knew it was real
down the canyon
when i knew i had come
***********************
He watched from the corner, almost kneeling, prayer-like.
She had control over her body, moving back and forth, like an
evil reptile, snake-like. Sex-like, something he'd never seen
in her before.
She kept dancing for him, eyes closed so tight, all he could see
from the corner was eyelashes. Long, black wet eyelashes.
Pratt leaned back, licking his lips. She was nothing but a body,
hips for him to dig his nails into, breasts to attach his mouth
to. A thing.
She kept dancing. Slow, careful sounds over the radio.Cooing, he
noted. Sounded like dense cooing, and watching her again, his stomach
turning, she wasn't dancing, she was rocking herself, hands at her
side, eyes closed so she couldn't see his face.
But she returned his touches, bucked and moaned under his body.
He buried his face in his hands, remebering how touching Abby
was the same. Abby was just a body, something to rub against, to
let go of all that friction.
Pratt touched her cheek, and bile rose in his throat. She didn't
respond, didn't rest her cheek against the palm of her hand. She didn't
open her eyes.
***********************
to the line
through the dawn
to the light
to the turn
when you said
************************
He watched Pratt get up. Got up, strecthed in front of the mirror,
eyeing himself. Bile rose in his throat again, and he swallowed hard.
Salty chemcial taste on the top of his mouth.
She rested against the pillow, hugging it to her chest. Still hadn't
opened her eyes. Maybe that was how whenever she came into work, her
eyes were wide, wet, dark brown. And sad.
His hand touched his own thigh, running his hand along absentmindly,
imaging it was his touch comforting her, not the poly-blend sheets
against her body.
"I'm going" Pratt called. She grunted an answer, lying perfectly still
till his footsteps had left the room, down the hall. Jing Mei stood up,
and cried.
Cried hard, tears racing down her cheeks, shoulders shaking. He'd never
seen her cry that hard, he remebered. Not even when she left the hospital
for him. Going away, to God know's where, then coming back, this new person.
Someone he didn't know.
*****************************
so i let crazy
take a spin
then i let crazy
settle in
kicked off my shoes
shut reason out
he said "first let's just
unzip your religion
down"
*******************************
His hand didn't contrast against her skin like Pratt's. It almost blended in
with her. He couldn't tell them apart, except for the littering of brown freckles
on the back of his hand.
He touched her shoulder, felt her hold her breath.
"It's just me" he said quietly.
She let the tears flow again, sighing loudly.Letting everything go now that she
knew someone. Now that she had an allie, with his hand on her bare back. His eyes
burning into her lower back, searching and memorizing each strecth mark, each
dimple.
She was crying too hard to cover up.Crying too hard to be obessed with covering
up her bareness. He was Carter. He wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't touch her. Wouldn't
take advantage of her.
But now he saw her as the dancer. The evil snake, sex. He moved his hand on her stomach
and Jing Mei fell back into him, muttering something about trust,and friendship, and how
she had loved him.
Didn't he know she had loved him.
****************************
found that i
i craved at all
saw me melt
into your
native shelter
where you carved my
name
paper tigers scare
and came
****************************
Her lips were bright pink next to the skin on his hip. Her fingernails, pink, barely stood
out against the pale pale flesh with freckles. But she drew in little pockets of him, sucked
hard then, ran her tongue down the inside of his leg.
This is what you did for those you loved. She couldn't touch him, she told Carter. He touched her,
she went through the motions blindly. She'd memorized when to scream, when to grab for him tightly.
But when she grabbed for him, he slipped through her fingers like a dying fish.
Carter shuddered.
He slipped away like a dying fish. Carter's mouth dropped open, searching for air while she
kissed him, touched only the places he touched at night while Abby slept beside him, curled
tight. So no one would hurt her, she said.
She didn't want Carter to touch her in the middle of the night.
He ran his fingers through her hair. Her hair had always looked cold. It was cold to his
touch on the roof. Now her raven hair almost felt on fire. He shuddered again, bringing his
palm up to his eyes,to look for long strands of red on his palm. She had to have burned him.
She let his fingers pull him up to her. Her skin against his shirt.Her skin against his bare
legs.
She loved him, didn't he know?
*****************************
so i let crazy
pull me in
then i let crazy
take his spin
kicked off my shoes
shut reason out
he said "first let's just unzip
your religion down"
heard that you were once
"temptation's girl"