Title: Star
Author: Shinigami195
Rating: PG
Warnings: Deaths, angst,
Pairings: 1+2 3+4 5+6 3+1 R+1
Notes: Ficlet and I hope it's a little bit sad. Please review
Star
They don't know him, they don't know me. Yet together we stand here looking like we belong with them. What could be so wrong with life? I don't feel like I belong anywhere. Even though I have a beautiful girlfriend who doesn't even think about questioning what she feels for me. It's a good thing she doesn't, if she ever did, she would see and she would understand, and she would try to help me and she would fail. I do not return her feelings and I feel so dirty whenever I touch her. We don't make love, no, we can't make love, to make love the feelings must be the same for both people, she may believe she loves me and that I love her back but we don't. Yet I have nowhere to go. Even though it would be better for both of us if I left, I can't because I have nowhere to go. I don't feel like I belong even when I'm with my friends, but that's because he isn't here. Long time ago, I felt like I belonged, back all them years to when we were fighting side by side in a war that looked like we were going to lose. Back during them long dark stormy nights when we held each other close, never do anything more than comforting and every now and then kissing tenderly. There are only two of us left. Both of us feel out of place, neither of us having anywhere to go since we lost our bright stars. But that was years ago, surely by now we should have moved on. He is standing across the room and he raised his eyes until he meets mine. Dark green and he nods his head in the direction of the royal gardens, I follow him slowly. Neither of us can move on because the bond between our stars and us is far too strong and is still alive today even if they aren't. We walk side by side, not saying a word as we walk deep into the night. Unconsciously we have chosen our path already. Neither of us went here alone, the pain was too great even though we hide it well. The steps up the hill are long and steep, but the temple at the top of the hill is worth every last drop of sweat. Together we reached for the door handles and pull open the two wooden doors. Our bodies are still in tune with each other's, even though it has been over 5 years since we last sow each other. I find myself giving a deep sigh as my eyes adjust to the darkness of the temple, his hand touches my shoulder for a second before he heads towards the four coffins that lay before us. I don't need to see the headstones, I know who lays where. There are actually six tables in the temple; only four are in use, a coffin on each one, it goes in order, the 1st table and the 3rd table are free, the others filled. "They are still waiting." His voice says across the stillness of the room from where he stands by the head of the coffin in which lays his star. "They will always wait." I reply, my voice horse and my footsteps sound so loud as I walk towards the coffin resting on a table with an empty table on either side. "They promised." We once blamed ourselves for what happened, but we both know that we could of done nothing even if we had been there to help them, we too would of died that day, if our stars hadn't woken us up and chucked us out the door for us to leave on that week long mission. Who would of imagined that the gundam pilots that had saved the world twice, would of died because of some stupid kid thought it would be funny to chuck a few burning bits of wood into an apartment window. I still say it was done on purpose. No one let us see the apartment but I know that it wasn't an accident, 3 gundam pilots and an ex oz solider asleep, back in the war a small bell would of woken them all up. I know glass smashing would of woken up my star and he could pick any lock in under 5 seconds and he wouldn't of let the others die. Someone must of jammed the door shut. "Don't think about it." He knows me too well; my heart is reflected back at me whenever I look into his eyes. We are the same. We don't belong anywhere, except maybe here. But unless someone kills us neither of us will be here soon. "We promised too." I said softly, my hand touched the gold plate of my star's coffin. The name is too familiar; the pattern is too common, it is all the same, it's the same every year, every month, every week, every day, and every hour. It will never change, though I pray it would. I pray that it was me that laid in his place but nothing changes. Since that fateful day our lives have never been the same. We were both forced to quit the Preventers, we weren't what we were. I played false with Relena and she often me a home. I do nothing day in, day out. I still have another promise to keep, it's nearly done and when that's finished maybe I can find an inner peace that will end my torment. "I see him." He speaks, his hand fell from the coffin. I look over at him. "Every day, I see him." I close my eyes. I can see him and the others too. "I dream about them. I dream what could have been." He tells me. "I don't dream." I simple replied. It was true, I don't even sleep now. "I want it to end." "Ditto." "Why wont it?" "Because we made a promise and neither of us is going to break it." A promise to live a life until God decides when we die. It was something the two stars forced us to do. "It's time to go." I said as I heard a clock chime midnight far away. He nods in the darkness and we met at the door and close it. We turn to face the steps downwards and glance up at the midnight blue sky at the same time. 4 stars shine brightly above us. "Heero?" "Trowa." I look at him and he looks back, his green eyes search mine and I know what he wants to hear. "Some day, we'll join them. They will wait. See," I nodded towards the sky. "They are waiting and they are watching." "They probably think we are such fools." Trowa chuckled. "Fools in love." Trowa leaned in, his mouth pressed against mine before he pulled back and walked down the steps and into the night. I wouldn't be seeing him for another five years. I raised my eyes to the stars again but I could only see one this time. "I won't be seeing Trowa for 5 years, but I'll see you tomorrow." I told the star and I began to walk down the steps, the gold words still flashing in my mind.
Duo Maxwell, AC180 - AC198, Hero of a war, Keeper of a heart, Star to the World
Owari
~Shinigami195~
28/12/02
Star
They don't know him, they don't know me. Yet together we stand here looking like we belong with them. What could be so wrong with life? I don't feel like I belong anywhere. Even though I have a beautiful girlfriend who doesn't even think about questioning what she feels for me. It's a good thing she doesn't, if she ever did, she would see and she would understand, and she would try to help me and she would fail. I do not return her feelings and I feel so dirty whenever I touch her. We don't make love, no, we can't make love, to make love the feelings must be the same for both people, she may believe she loves me and that I love her back but we don't. Yet I have nowhere to go. Even though it would be better for both of us if I left, I can't because I have nowhere to go. I don't feel like I belong even when I'm with my friends, but that's because he isn't here. Long time ago, I felt like I belonged, back all them years to when we were fighting side by side in a war that looked like we were going to lose. Back during them long dark stormy nights when we held each other close, never do anything more than comforting and every now and then kissing tenderly. There are only two of us left. Both of us feel out of place, neither of us having anywhere to go since we lost our bright stars. But that was years ago, surely by now we should have moved on. He is standing across the room and he raised his eyes until he meets mine. Dark green and he nods his head in the direction of the royal gardens, I follow him slowly. Neither of us can move on because the bond between our stars and us is far too strong and is still alive today even if they aren't. We walk side by side, not saying a word as we walk deep into the night. Unconsciously we have chosen our path already. Neither of us went here alone, the pain was too great even though we hide it well. The steps up the hill are long and steep, but the temple at the top of the hill is worth every last drop of sweat. Together we reached for the door handles and pull open the two wooden doors. Our bodies are still in tune with each other's, even though it has been over 5 years since we last sow each other. I find myself giving a deep sigh as my eyes adjust to the darkness of the temple, his hand touches my shoulder for a second before he heads towards the four coffins that lay before us. I don't need to see the headstones, I know who lays where. There are actually six tables in the temple; only four are in use, a coffin on each one, it goes in order, the 1st table and the 3rd table are free, the others filled. "They are still waiting." His voice says across the stillness of the room from where he stands by the head of the coffin in which lays his star. "They will always wait." I reply, my voice horse and my footsteps sound so loud as I walk towards the coffin resting on a table with an empty table on either side. "They promised." We once blamed ourselves for what happened, but we both know that we could of done nothing even if we had been there to help them, we too would of died that day, if our stars hadn't woken us up and chucked us out the door for us to leave on that week long mission. Who would of imagined that the gundam pilots that had saved the world twice, would of died because of some stupid kid thought it would be funny to chuck a few burning bits of wood into an apartment window. I still say it was done on purpose. No one let us see the apartment but I know that it wasn't an accident, 3 gundam pilots and an ex oz solider asleep, back in the war a small bell would of woken them all up. I know glass smashing would of woken up my star and he could pick any lock in under 5 seconds and he wouldn't of let the others die. Someone must of jammed the door shut. "Don't think about it." He knows me too well; my heart is reflected back at me whenever I look into his eyes. We are the same. We don't belong anywhere, except maybe here. But unless someone kills us neither of us will be here soon. "We promised too." I said softly, my hand touched the gold plate of my star's coffin. The name is too familiar; the pattern is too common, it is all the same, it's the same every year, every month, every week, every day, and every hour. It will never change, though I pray it would. I pray that it was me that laid in his place but nothing changes. Since that fateful day our lives have never been the same. We were both forced to quit the Preventers, we weren't what we were. I played false with Relena and she often me a home. I do nothing day in, day out. I still have another promise to keep, it's nearly done and when that's finished maybe I can find an inner peace that will end my torment. "I see him." He speaks, his hand fell from the coffin. I look over at him. "Every day, I see him." I close my eyes. I can see him and the others too. "I dream about them. I dream what could have been." He tells me. "I don't dream." I simple replied. It was true, I don't even sleep now. "I want it to end." "Ditto." "Why wont it?" "Because we made a promise and neither of us is going to break it." A promise to live a life until God decides when we die. It was something the two stars forced us to do. "It's time to go." I said as I heard a clock chime midnight far away. He nods in the darkness and we met at the door and close it. We turn to face the steps downwards and glance up at the midnight blue sky at the same time. 4 stars shine brightly above us. "Heero?" "Trowa." I look at him and he looks back, his green eyes search mine and I know what he wants to hear. "Some day, we'll join them. They will wait. See," I nodded towards the sky. "They are waiting and they are watching." "They probably think we are such fools." Trowa chuckled. "Fools in love." Trowa leaned in, his mouth pressed against mine before he pulled back and walked down the steps and into the night. I wouldn't be seeing him for another five years. I raised my eyes to the stars again but I could only see one this time. "I won't be seeing Trowa for 5 years, but I'll see you tomorrow." I told the star and I began to walk down the steps, the gold words still flashing in my mind.
Duo Maxwell, AC180 - AC198, Hero of a war, Keeper of a heart, Star to the World
Owari
~Shinigami195~
28/12/02