Everything up to 'As You Were' S6. Lyrics for "Crashing Down" belong to Sugarcult, no infringement intended. Tell me if this sucks so I can never attempt it again, it's my first song-fiction and I'm trying it out after an idea from a friend.
~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy was alone in her room again. She was lying on her bed, staring out the open window at the sunlight outside. It shone as strong as it normally did, promising warmth and growth, but Buffy was not warm. She felt cold all over. Numb to the rays coming through the window pane. She wondered how long she could keep up the charade with Spike. He was like a drug. A temporary relief from the harsh reality of her world. And, just as a drug, she needed more of him to stay in her safe world.
In the room down the hall Buffy could hear Dawn listening to music in her room. She listened, the music coming easily to her ears through the half open door.
*~*~*
I've got something up my sleeve that I don't wanna show you
'Cause every time I bleed I make a fool of me
I've got shaky little fingers, that hold on to your grip
You've got wrapped around my world
So tight that I can't breathe
I'm suffocating
*~*~*
She turned over and stared at the ceiling, tears pricking her eyes. The words were metaphorical to her. Every time she let herself fall into Spike's embrace and bed, she did feel the fool, inside her heart. Spike had a grip around her world, perhaps not the one he hoped for, love, but one all the same. She felt she needed him, he was the only one that kept her grounded, kept her feeling. She was a coward for hanging onto Spike for support. She didn't have the courage to break away. Could she even do it if she tried? She was suffocating.
*~*~*
We come crashing down
Every time we go this far again
We come tumbling down
Every time we go this far again
Everytime we go
*~*~*
Yeah, they came crashing down alright. Spike thought he loved her. Every time he was with her he crashed into this world of pure happiness, or to Buffy, so he thought. For her it was different, every time they "went that far" her soul broke a little. She could hold Spike into oblivion, but holding and not feeling were taking their toll.
*~*~*
I got nothing that I hide except for what's inside
I keep it all locked up, this prison we call love
I'm suffocating
*~*~*
The tears were falling freely from Buffy's eyes now. Every feeling she got from Spike, every single one she thought she needed, hurt more than the one before it. Was it fair to Spike? She doubted if he minded, but then, perhaps in a way deep down it did sting that he was giving her everything and she gave nothing in return. No it wasn't fair. She was keeping Spike in prison without meaning to. If she let go, then perhaps he could too. She was suffocating.
*~*~*
We come crashing down
Every time we go this far again
We come tumbling down
Every time we go this far again
Everytime we go...
*~*~*
~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy was alone in her room again. She was lying on her bed, staring out the open window at the sunlight outside. It shone as strong as it normally did, promising warmth and growth, but Buffy was not warm. She felt cold all over. Numb to the rays coming through the window pane. She wondered how long she could keep up the charade with Spike. He was like a drug. A temporary relief from the harsh reality of her world. And, just as a drug, she needed more of him to stay in her safe world.
In the room down the hall Buffy could hear Dawn listening to music in her room. She listened, the music coming easily to her ears through the half open door.
*~*~*
I've got something up my sleeve that I don't wanna show you
'Cause every time I bleed I make a fool of me
I've got shaky little fingers, that hold on to your grip
You've got wrapped around my world
So tight that I can't breathe
I'm suffocating
*~*~*
She turned over and stared at the ceiling, tears pricking her eyes. The words were metaphorical to her. Every time she let herself fall into Spike's embrace and bed, she did feel the fool, inside her heart. Spike had a grip around her world, perhaps not the one he hoped for, love, but one all the same. She felt she needed him, he was the only one that kept her grounded, kept her feeling. She was a coward for hanging onto Spike for support. She didn't have the courage to break away. Could she even do it if she tried? She was suffocating.
*~*~*
We come crashing down
Every time we go this far again
We come tumbling down
Every time we go this far again
Everytime we go
*~*~*
Yeah, they came crashing down alright. Spike thought he loved her. Every time he was with her he crashed into this world of pure happiness, or to Buffy, so he thought. For her it was different, every time they "went that far" her soul broke a little. She could hold Spike into oblivion, but holding and not feeling were taking their toll.
*~*~*
I got nothing that I hide except for what's inside
I keep it all locked up, this prison we call love
I'm suffocating
*~*~*
The tears were falling freely from Buffy's eyes now. Every feeling she got from Spike, every single one she thought she needed, hurt more than the one before it. Was it fair to Spike? She doubted if he minded, but then, perhaps in a way deep down it did sting that he was giving her everything and she gave nothing in return. No it wasn't fair. She was keeping Spike in prison without meaning to. If she let go, then perhaps he could too. She was suffocating.
*~*~*
We come crashing down
Every time we go this far again
We come tumbling down
Every time we go this far again
Everytime we go...
*~*~*