WARNINGS: pairings of all three major sexual orientations. Violence, questionable behavior, and eternal damnation. Bizarre setting. Not your average mythology contained herein. Potentially offensive to very, very, very religious people, but not meant to be taken seriously. Humor and confusion and weirdness.
PAIRINGS: all sorts. Major pairings are Garu/Ernest and Zero/Erts. Other pairings vary wildly, but include Rio/Phil, one-sided Tune>Ernest, past Gareas/Leena, Azuma/Rill, Kuro/Teela, Tukasa/Yamagi, Yamagi/Roose, Roose/Wrecka, and Roose/Wrecka/Yamagi. (I know by now I'm certainly getting weird looks from everyone.) Potential pairings include Kizna/Ikhny, Zero/Ikhny, Leena/Tune, Clay/Saki, Hiead/Wrecka, one-sided Rome>Erts, if you must Yu/Kazuhi, pretty much EVERYBODY/Roose-and-or-Wrecka... probably a few I'm missing...
Good luck.
WALKS AMONG THEE
almost a fairy tale
by Kay Willow
THE TALE OF THE MISBEGOTTEN TWINS
Once upon a time, an archangel fell from Heaven.
But this archangel was not alone. Many angels and archangels and good holy people were lost in the Fall. And those who had fallen came to dwell in a place buried deep within the fabric of the universe, a place guarded by three ferocious dragons who patrolled the fire-laced shores of the great rivers and seas there, a place where the scorned could come and find (eventually) their revenge. Today, we call those who were lost "demons".
Right?
Perhaps not.
One such archangel lost created, from the fabric of the universe in her grief, twin children to call her own. These infants bore the scraggled beginnings of feathered white wings, slumbered in her arms in peace and gentleness, and brought joy and happiness to all who saw them, even in the hateful darkness of Hell.
Or so the story goes.
But one day the infants began to change. Their young feathers fell out, leaving thick membranous fleshy wings naked to the glaring light. Their serene sweetness was replaced with a malicious delight of suffering. And the rest of Hell began to change to suit them, because these two children would grow to become their princes, two overlords battling each other for dominion. The brothers hated each other with an undying passion, for as long as they both lived, neither of them could truly claim to be the next ruler of Hell.
And is this the truth?
It's certainly closer.
While they were still morphing into the creatures they would become, their mother came to the place where they rested. She had spent many long hours thinking, and finally had returned to the stuff of creation and made yet two more infants to accompany the first children.
In one hand was carried a tiny lion cub. She put the cub down next to one of the infants, and watched. Instead of turning on the newborn thing, the demon-child examined her closely, inspecting the newcomer with deeply ingrained suspicion. The cub, instead of attacking or growling or fleeing before him, did nothing more exciting than yawn and curl up to sleep. This lack of frantic reaction won over the young demon, and he curled up beside her and promptly drifted off as well. And the archangel, seeing this, knew that they would be together forever as brother and sister, the changeling demon and the werelioness, playing and growing and learning and eventually ruling together with a firm hand.
Her other offering was a wolf pup. She laid the infant down next to the second child, and watched. The demon-child reacted violently to the new presence, immediately attacking and savaging her before the defenseless canine had even the chance to signify her submission. And the young demon howled his triumph over the weak, tearing apart the corpse with unwarranted viciousness. And the archangel, seeing this, knew that he would live to be solitary, never wanting or needing support from others, and would keep to himself until his power was such that he could establish himself as a dictator over all of Hell.
And who could say which child would make the better king? Mayhap Hell could be guided only by a ruthless hand; or perchance the rule it begged was a sage and fair one. The archangel knew this, and allowed both children to grow as they must.
Until the day when the judgement was made --
-- and only one of them would survive.
CHAPTER 2
"But if you win over the Ferro camp," Roose pointed out reasonably, "you'll lose the Eshlid and the Besradi."
Zero hummed and nodded his agreement before presenting the counter-argument. "But there are three times as many Ferro as there are Besradi and Eshlid put together."
"But it takes six Ferro to get the brainpower of a single Besradi," Wrecka noted with a grin. Someone at a nearby table hooted his support. She whipped around and snapped, "How many times do I have to tell you to shut up?! You're lucky you're even allowed in His Highness' presence, now shut your mouth and don't speak out of turn again!"
"Why don't you just kill him?" Clay asked her, rolling his eyes.
Wrecka rolled her eyes back at him. "Because he's Gethle. We need the support of the Gethle."
"Are you really winning anybody's support by shrieking like a harpy?" Kizna wanted to know, smirking.
"Please. He's not worthy of licking my feet, much less actually speaking to Zero, and everybody knows it." Wrecka leveled a coy smile at him for good measure, but it was wasted; his head was bent deeply over the paperwork and he pretended not to see it. "Besides," she settled for retorting, "at least I'm being useful. You're just sitting there and mooching off your kinship with our revered leader."
"I am actually performing a very important function," the werelion said haughtily, and then proceeded to sit there and do nothing. Wrecka and Roose scowled at her in unison.
Tukasa, from the end of the great table, hummed.
Kizna cocked an ear to listen and announced, "Tukasa thinks that we should stop fighting and get on with business. Saki?"
Saki stood up and shuffled the papers in front of her, then cleared her throat. "First of all, the Vyusher Forest is complaining about that rogue demon masquerading as a lumberjack again, and to be fair it really has nothing to do with their punishment--"
Roose murmured, "Turning someone into a tree is a stupid punishment anyway."
Wrecka shook her head, wide-eyed. "I think being a tree would be a horrible punishment! I mean, how would you--"
Saki grimaced. "Being a tree isn't the punishment, you know, you two..."
"Leave it," Zero said abruptly.
"Leave it?" she echoed, startled.
"Yeah, leave it. Vyusher is Hiead's responsibility. Let him do his job for once, instead of running around killing everyone on his side at random," he clarified, smirking. "Does our Forest have any problems?"
Saki flipped a page on her record and shook her head. "Nope. Pretera Forest is golden." She rubbed the tip of one of her ears as she read. "Literally. Some of the trees are starting to blossom with gold-glowing flowers -- signs of being ready to graduate."
"Graduation," Zero said cheerfully. "How is that going?"
Clay straightened as if somebody had called his name. "Graduation is currently at twenty-three-point-sixteen percent," he recited.
"Is that an accurate statistic?" Roose asked innocently, and then laughed when Clay dissolved into a furious rant about how his numbers were never wrong.
"Okay, okay. I think the Ero need to stop antagonizing people," Zero commented, perfectly amiably so as to let them know that no offense was intended. Roose and Wrecka pouted, again in unison, but settled themselves more comfortably.
"Where are the new souls being distributed?" Kizna asked.
Clay shrugged, as if this were unimportant, and hauled out the Book which Lucifer had entrusted into his care. He flipped through the pages and then stated, "Patterns remain pretty much the same as they ever have with the exception of the final rings, which have been getting a lot of new people courtesy of the nuclear winter proliferation of cults and self-interest. So there's been plenty of betrayal -- Judecca and Ptolomea in particular are bordering on overflowing -- and plenty of opportunity for a seemingly earnest believer to fall prey to simony."
Zero nodded. "Do we still have records from before the nukes?"
"Are you kidding?" Clay gave him a level stare. "Do you have any idea how much we lost in the Collapse?"
He didn't, really, because his memories of the time before the nuclear winter were rather spotty and uncertain. He had the distinct feeling that Hell had run itself back then, and he had spent most of his time goofing off and playing with mortals. Clay, who had been very young then himself, probably didn't remember either. Zero was quite glad for that.
Saki said hurriedly, "Well, never mind what we can't bring back." She hadn't been born when the nukes were launched, or even at the Collapse that followed in the wake of the winter. It made her feel inadequate. "Ancient history isn't going to help us now."
"I wouldn't call it ancient," Kizna pitched in. Saki glared at her. They hadn't been getting along lately -- Zero wondered if they'd had a fight or something. "It's only a few millennia, I mean; since when has four thousands years, give or take a few centuries, been 'ancient' history around here--"
She was interrupted by a storming noise out in the corridor. The high table turned as one to stare at the great double doors at the far end of the hall. Tukasa hummed her disapproval. Roose and Wrecka groaned in unison.
The doors flew open, and Yamagi burst in excitedly.
"Did you guys see it? Did you hear? Wasn't it cool? And I did it right, too, no mistakes this time!" He looked around, eager to see their reactions to his lack of news.
"How could we have known what you've done, Yamagi?" Wrecka pointed out.
"We've been kind of busy here," Roose seconded.
Zero suggested pointedly, "Maybe you can tell us when we're not busy."
Yamagi scowled, a fleeting expression that was gone as quickly as it had appeared. "I got out my car, and I brought it to Basik--"
"Basik?" Clay repeated, startled. "You brought a car to Basik?"
"Yes!" He was practically preening. Zero caught Tukasa's eye and cocked a head at the newcomer. She pretended not to see it. "And I found a theurgist there and I ran him over, isn't that great?!"
Roose put his head in his hands.
After a brief moment, Zero said delicately, "You hit a demon summoner with your car."
"Yes!" But some of the elation had gone out of him at their disappointing response. He gave Roose a dubious look and asked Wrecka, "I did good, right?"
She smiled at him, a smile that no one could've mistaken for real, and assured him, "Yes. Yes, it was a good job."
"A very good job," Roose muttered, with an odd tone that could've been fighting tears or laughter.
Tukasa hummed, high and distant. Yamagi shot her a hurt expression and bounded up to Zero. "You think I did a good job, don't you, boss?" he asked again hopefully.
Zero waved at him absently and addressed the others. "Well, I suppose we'll have to take care of this first. Who wants to draft a formal apology to the Theurgists' Guild?"
"I'll do it!" Wrecka volunteered immediately.
Roose revived quickly in the face of this challenge, and barely a second later had insisted, "No, I want to!" Within three seconds they had dissolved into meaningless bickering, and within ten they had wandered off on a tangent and appeared to be quarreling about fair treatment for the Neutrals.
Zero rolled his eyes at Kizna. "How about neither of you take care of it?" he interrupted when one of them paused for air. Together, they turned to stare at him blankly. He elaborated, "Yamagi ran over one of their mages. This isn't one of those things we can let you guys handle."
"Why not?" Roose demanded, indignant.
"Because it's not going to be solved by playing innocent like he had nothing to do with us, and then seducing the spokesman. If you do that, they'll just take him off duty and send up another one. We can't sex our way out of this one."
"We can sex our way out of anything," Wrecka reminded him, smirking. "That's what being a succubus is all about."
"Incubus," Roose purred. The two of them gave each other sultry looks.
Tonight is so going to be another contest to see which of them can seduce more people,> Zero realized with amusement. He couldn't tell if they were "on" or "off" this week, but whether they were sleeping together or not, they were at "odds" instead of "evens". Zero found their odd weeks to be much more interesting than their even weeks: they always agreed in the latter mood, but for the former they consistently challenged each other at a thousand different things, even if they were on.
He slammed a fist down on the table to recapture their attention. "I said you can't. Are you going to fuck every theurgist in the Guild? That's what it'll come down to before they give up!"
Wrecka shrugged. "Why not?"
Stupid to pose sex like a question. The motto of their type is "Why not?" in regard to anything involving sex.> Zero said reasonably, "Not even you could, Wrecka. That many so quickly would wear you to a thread."
"Then Roose will help out. Right?"
"Oh, Wrecka-chan -- you're willing to share with me?" Heated exchange of glances.
If this wasn't one of their on weeks, they were definitely moving into one of their on weeks. "I said no, you two."
Roose pouted and rested his chin in one hand. "You could come with us," he suggested innocently. "It's been a while since we all played together."
The demons around the table without Ero blood were all giving Zero flat looks by now. He could practically hear them thinking Sure, he lets them get away with this sort of thing, because he's half-Ero himself. If he could explain to them and make them understand that there was no way to make an incubus or succubus stop thinking about sex, then he would, but those who weren't Ero never really understood.
"I don't want to 'play'," he told them. "I want to get this work done."
Wrecka frowned at him. "You know, it's been weeks since you slept with either of us," she pointed out. "It can't be healthy to not have sex in so long."
The concept of "abstinence", to their kind, was rather akin to the concept of "death". It happened sometimes, and it was a horrible, very bad thing when it happened to you, and nobody ever volunteered for it. "Love" was something wonderful, and in that sense it was to be shared. With everyone. Repeatedly.
Truth told, Zero was kind of tired of living like that.
"Is there any more official business that needs to be handled before I take off for the day?" Zero asked instead. If there was any such thing as luck, the pair would take that as the change of topic it was and not try to bring up anything further on that subject.
They didn't, of course. Wrecka looked scandalized at the very insinuation that there was something other than sex that mattered in this discussion, and Roose demanded, "Why do you brush it off? What's that supposed to mean?" Then, suspiciously, Wrecka added, "Does this have something to do with your mysterious dis--"
"You can't just take off," Saki said, apparently outraged. She tugged on her ear again. Zero wondered in a fit of irrelevancy why she tugged on just that one ear when she had six to choose from. "Even if you've taken care of everything else, Lucifer wants to see you."
Several of the listening representatives shied away visibly. One even sketched the sign of the cross in the air before herself. Zero frowned. "Why?" he asked practically.
"I wasn't told why. Nor any particular time." Saki looked nervous at the suggestion that she should have spoken with the Devil any longer than she absolutely had to.
Clay volunteered, "Probably something to do with the Succession. Hiead was also called. So my sources tell me." His eyes, behind distortive lenses, glinted.
Zero didn't ask about these sources, although he'd been longing to find out about them for decades. Clay never let a single detail slip about them, but through them he seemed to know everything that happened anywhere in Hell. He was the only person not in the Highest Circle who knew the reasons behind Zero's mystery absences.
"Just what I need; more politics." Zero folded his arms behind his head, threading claws through his hair, bored. "So what's left to discuss before I take off... to see our ever-so-brilliant Morning Star?"
"You mustn't talk about Lord Lucifer that way," Wrecka murmured fearfully. Ero-blooded demons were always afraid of anyone who refused to be bedded. Satan was among their ranks.
Kizna, speaking suddenly, reminded them, "We still have no solution for Yamagi's situation."
Yamagi, who had settled obediently next to Tukasa at her crooked finger and allowed her to groom him while she hummed discordantly, bristled at the comment. "It doesn't need to be fixed!" he insisted.
Roose patiently began explaining to him that yes, it does need to be fixed, you can't just run over a student at Astutia Academy and not have to pay reparations, there are contracts involved, but Zero's attention was on his sister. Kizna's eyes were glassy and distant, and on closer inspection, her breathing was staggered and laboring. She was working much too hard on the task he had covertly assigned her...
"Well," Yamagi muttered dubiously, "I guess..."
Startled out of his train of thought, Zero very nearly snarled in response before catching himself. Yamagi was an imp, not a true-born demon, and imps were notorious for how impressionable they were. Didn't want to scare Tukasa's pet away... She might feel it necessary to speak or something then.
"...if it's going to be such a big deal," Yamagi continued, "why don't I issue a formal apology? Shouldn't that be good enough?"
"That would be so helpful!" Wrecka gushed, casting Yamagi an adoring glance that Roose immediately added the weight of his own to. Yamagi melted. Another characteristic of imps was that they imprinted in their first months as demons. Yamagi had imprinted four times: first to Tukasa, who was his sponsor, and then to Zero, who was his superior, and then to Roose and Wrecka, who had been the first to (albeit deliberately with this intent) treat him with affection. Imps were at the very bottom of the great food chain of Hell -- above only the damned souls themselves.
"That'll be good," Zero said abruptly, forcing himself to smile when Yamagi looked at him hopefully. "Write your apology down on parchment. I'll deliver it to the theurgists."
"Oh, you will, will you?" Wrecka murmured.
"Quite an inauspicious task for the Prince of Hell," Roose seconded. They smirked at each other.
If Clay enjoys anything more than he enjoys hinting at his knowledge, then I don't know what it is. But whatever it is, it has GOT to be safer for his continued good health,> Zero thought direly, giving the demon in question a fierce glare. Clay gave him a pleasant, friendly smile in return, and reached up. As he drew down his glasses, Zero blinked -- very slowly -- and by the time he opened his eyes again, Clay was settling the lenses back into place. Clay had acquired a nasty habit somewhere of tipping his glasses down to peer pointedly over the rims, but what he often forgot was that this maneuver tended to be highly fatal, seeing as how direct eye contact with Clay would turn any lesser demon to stone. Of course, Zero couldn't be seriously hurt by such a thing, but it did tend to cause painful arthritis-like stiffness in his joints that he just wasn't fond of.
"Ever thought about investing in contact lenses, Clay?" Zero proposed innocently. "Even if their time is generations gone, I'm sure we could find someone to make them for you."
"I bet we could ask the demonologists," Clay returned with similar tone.
Zero twitched. What the hell were demonologists? Was that another of those incorrect terms for theurgists? Refusing to dignify that comment with an answer -- the other option was guessing, and Clay would never let him live an incorrect guess down -- he began to stand. Instantly, so did every other demon in the room.
"Wait, wait, there's still something we need to talk about," Saki pressed. Zero slid back into his seat, enjoying the fact that the others hurried to sit as well. It was a crime punishable by death to disobey a signal made by a Demon Prince during a formal meeting. Life in Hell was harsh, and Zero had fun making it that way.
"Go on," he encouraged her.
She smoothed out a sheaf of papers on the table. "These are the relevant contracts, if you want to check them, but the final word is that the angel guardians will be coming again to inspect the Safeways in a few weeks."
Discontented rumbling filled the halls from the younger demons, but Zero understood. "Which angels?" he asked, scanning them.
"The usual," she said offhandedly. Saki was young, but the contract with Heaven mandated Safeway inspections once every hundred years, and no full-blooded demon who was considered adult could be that young. "It shouldn't be a big deal, but I thought you might want to browse through them, make sure maintenance is doing its job, that sort of thing."
"I'll take the Safeways to the council room," Zero promised. "Is that all?"
"It is," she confirmed.
"I have no further questions." Clay nodded, as if his word were the deciding factor.
Zero got to his feet again -- a gesture again echoed by every demon in the room -- and waved Kizna to follow him as he treaded out into the hallway swiftly.
When the doors slammed closed, he snarled at her, "Cut that out. Why do you take me so seriously?"
"I had to. There were some six different instances during the council when your channel was tapped. I had to siphon off all the power going there. It's not easy to absorb that much magic, you know; there's only so much anybody can hold," she retorted.
"Not me."
"You don't count. You are a freak."
Zero grinned at her, displaying a mouth full of pointy teeth. Kizna flattened her ears against her skull and bristled the fur on her tail in retaliation. Just like old times. If they weren't adults now, one of them would tackle the other and go tumbling head over tail in a playful scuffle that Zero inevitably won.
Even when they were runts, though, his "scuffles" with Hiead had always been closer to deadly than playful.
Correctly identifying his scowl, Kizna said thoughtfully, "You know, if we walk really slowly, and go through all the Safeways, then Lord Lucifer won't be able to blame us for the delay, and your brother will have to stand around and wait for you."
The prospect of pissing off Hiead immediately made him feel better. "A brilliant idea, my dear girl," he said brightly. "Do you suppose we'll waste more time by walking to the entrance of the Safeways and then just poring over every single corner on our way to the exit, or should we just make our own entrance and wander them at random until we've covered the whole ground?"
The Safeways were a system of dimensional bridges that Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory had collaborated to build across all their realms and the Earth as well. They had originally been intended merely as highways, to help immortal travelers get from one place to another without needing to cross the dangerous ground in between, but that vision had evolved as they were created. What if unauthorized individuals wound up entering the Safeways? What if humans stumbled upon the Earth-bound gates? What if someone tried to destroy them?
The final version of the Safeways was a giant tangling maze. Every path led somewhere, but probably not the place you thought it would lead. While entrances could be erected at any point by a person of sufficient power, the only exits were at specific points, heavily guarded on the outside and well-hidden on the inside, and the entry gateways were only one-way.
In short, the Safeways weren't really very safe at all, nor were they convenient, unless you knew exactly what you were doing.
And they were very, very easy to waste time in.
"Let's do the latter," she answered, grinning mischievously. "After all, we wouldn't want to miss anything, so if we have to backtrack a few times to get to unreached places, that's only for the greater good!"
"How many times do you imagine we'll have to backtrack over each road for maximum efficiency?" he asked solemnly, sketching a gate in the air with one clawed forefinger. A thin, transparent line of power remained hovering where he traced it, and began crackling as it began fusing with the Safeways even before he had finished the proper runes.
"Three," Kizna pronounced judgement, as the stony wall swirled into a magnificent arch, the other side of which revealed a bright, sunny hillside on a spring day. The world beyond the arch was really perfectly normal, if one ignored the blood-stained patches of grass and occasional flora-embraced skull decorating the edge of the barely-visible path. "No less than three. After all, we wouldn't want to miss anything." She stepped through the arch, into the Safeway, and picked up the misplaced skull. With a casual gesture, she tossed it into the pond nearby. A scaled green hand reached out and snatched it before it even hit the water, and then was gone again.
"No," Zero agreed. "Lucifer is really lucky to have such diligent followers as us."
The Safeways had darkened with "nightfall" by the time Zero and Kizna finally entered Lucifer's chamber.
Hiead knelt at the bottom of the stairs that led up to the throne, unmoving and silent. According to protocol, once one had arrived in the presence of the Lord of Hell, one must remain in the position of obeisance until everything was as desired and Lucifer allowed them all to rise. Protocol was very important in Hell; it would be Hiead's future -- or, even, his life -- if he disobeyed the few rules that were imposed upon the Higher Circles.
So until Zero had arrived and knelt his own dedication, Hiead was not allowed to move. He was forced to make his displeasure known in subtle, non-threatening ways: the way his wings were mantled, snarling silvery condemnations; the way his tail thrashed violently against the marble floor; the way his lips were drawn back from pointed teeth in a soundless roar. Even though he faced the other direction, his ears twitched every time Zero took another step into the room, and even Zero had a moment of doubt, wondering if he'd gone too far and Hiead had lost it totally and was going to attack him no matter Lucifer's vengeance.
Lucifer was waiting with significantly more grace.
Zero sank to one knee, resting one hand against the lowest stair and spreading his taloned fingers out peaceably. "My Lord," he said.
"Good evening, Zero. You have certainly made your Mother wait long enough." Her voice, as ever, revealed no emotion.
"Aren't you going to apologize for keeping Her Lordship waiting?" Hiead sneered.
"In truth, the reason I am so tardy is because of a favor I was doing in the service of Her Lordship," Zero snapped in return, then adding jestingly to Her, "I would never keep waiting the love of my life."
He raised his head slightly, to peek up at Her and see what he could discern from Her expression. She stood serenely on the highest platform of the dais, a marble pillar cloaked in silken curves: cascading falls of iridescent seafoam hair, slender arch of neck and bend of elbow and roundness of hip and breast. Draping Her form was a clingy gown of white satin -- for She loved satin -- that slithered against the floor in all directions, curling and twisting with a life of its own. Her eyes, a gentle color reminiscent of a Home he'd never known, seemed to bore right through him, their soft shade marred with detached deliberation.
"A favor?" was all She said.
"Aye, and a legitimate one, Teela," he drawled, enjoying the way Hiead's entire body bristled at the casual use of Her personal name. "I was performing a preliminary check of the Safeways in anticipation of the upcoming angelic survey, at the request of my chancellor."
There was a very long moment of silence while She considered this answer, and then Her head nodded, once, in answer. "This is acceptable. You may rise."
Both Hiead and Zero shot upright, each unwilling to be in an inferior position longer than he had to be. Kizna remained huddled on the ground some way behind Zero, permitted as his second-in-command to attend the meeting but forbidden from looking upon Lucifer without reason. Zero noticed that Hiead had no ogre making a boulder-sized lump behind him.
"I note that your pet is absent, Hiead," began Lucifer, clearly thinking along the same lines as Her son. "Where might Jagredg be?"
"At the bottom of the River Phlegethon," Hiead answered stonily. His tail thumped against the floor once, a dull and meaty sound.
Lucifer shook Her head. "I've warned you before that you're nearing the end of My patience, Dragonchild," She told him thinly. "You must have a second. If you do not, I will be forced to take reign of Vyusher from you."
His mouth curled with displeasure, but he said nothing in argument. Zero struggled to hide his own glee at the ultimatum. Lucifer mostly let them rule over their respective territories as they wished, but Her one provision was that they always keep a second-in-command so that more than one opinion was represented in each important decision. She had approved of Zero's "council" rule, but Hiead was a constant source of trouble to Her -- he kept killing his seconds. Even Lucifer Herself was said to have a second, although no one had ever seen him or her.
"It started with the Fenris," She continued, "who was a gift to you! She would never have displeased you, but you killed her blindly. Fine, I say. She was only a simulacrum. And since then I have allowed you to choose your own seconds, in the hopes that you didn't approve of My choices and would thrive if left to your own devices, but instead you have merely chosen a series of lambs to be slaughtered. What was wrong with Jagredg?"
Hiead's eyes were thin gray slits in a gray mask of ice. "He was too stupid," he pronounced after a long moment.
"Didn't you kill Sethira because she was too intelligent?" Lucifer challenged. "And Brand for not being intelligent enough, and Ys because he was not stupid enough. It's funny how many of these flaws begin to sound like mere excuses in My ears after comparing them."
There was no response.
She shook Her head, and turned slowly to pace back to Her throne. "I am displeased."
A staggering criticism. The hardest blow She could strike. The only thing worse than Her displeasure was Her disgust, and -- Zero's hands curled into fists -- any demon who earned Her disgust was fair prey. It would be a death sentence: all of Hell would be upon Hiead in moments if She made public Her opinion. Zero would be the first.
"I shall appoint him a new second," Lucifer mused aloud, "as I did in the first days. And this shall be the last. If I find him seeking to govern alone again, it be worth his life."
Hiead's shoulders hunched in defensively, his wings flaring in an uncontrollable response to this threat. Everyone ignored him, because Lucifer was moving again, heading down the steps and sweeping past Her children before they could even face Her. Startled, both of them scrambled after Her in a most undignified fashion, and Kizna trotted quickly at Zero's heels, keeping her eyes fixed on the floor awkwardly.
She led them all along the Safeways for a matter of minutes. The barely-noticeable paths ranging over hills and under trees was totally empty but for them; no lesser demons or guardian angels or errand-sent scampering before or beyond them. All was deserted and emptied where the royalty of Hell traveled -- it was worth one's life to be underfoot at such a time.
When She stopped, it was apparently at random, before a murky pond. The Safeway continued over the pond, allowing one to seemingly walk on the water as one crossed along the invisible corridor; but Lucifer had stopped walking, and no one would dare to presume where Lucifer was going.
She knelt at the pond's edge. "Little sister," She murmured, Her voice unusually gentle. "Come out and speak with Me."
The water rippled, placid surface suddenly spasming, and a somewhat green-colored naked woman stepped out from the shallow pool. She was obviously a woman. She was quite tall, and had long, wavy hair, and an extremely round figure. The kind of round figure that ought to be illegal. There was more round than there was anything else. This woman made Lucifer -- heretical though the thought may be -- look asexual.
Then, six more of the extremely round women emerged from the water.
Lucifer looked pleased. "Why, you're all here. Good greetings to you, My young friends."
"Greetings, Teela," one of them purred.
"Yes, it's wonderful of You to come visit us."
"Would You come for a swim?"
"We were just visiting our dear sister; how fortunate Your timing is!"
Hiead had once again resorted to thuggish snarling at the sound of Her name, but Zero was busy contemplating the sheer amounts of roundness, and whether or not celibacy was really worth it. Kizna, behind him, muttered, "The water can't be more than two feet deep, and it's not exactly wide or anything here. Where were they all hiding?" She didn't sound too unappreciative either, though.
"I am actually looking for your sister, dear ones," Lucifer told them. "We are on business."
They pouted, almost in unison. "I'll get her," the first one said, and stepped back into the water. She immediately disappeared, as though the bottom were ten feet under, even though Zero could clearly see that there were barely inches of water so close to the edge.
He was quickly distracted. The naiads -- they had to be naiads -- were giving him flirtatious smiles and come-hither looks. Suddenly, no matter how convincing the reasons might have seemed a few minutes ago, celibacy was definitely not looking like the best option.
Kizna stepped on his tail. He nearly smacked her with his wings before she hissed, "You realize that a naiad lures men to her pond with promises of treasure or wishes granted or sexual favors and then eats him?"
"I knew that! And I wasn't going to be jumping into their ponds!" Zero whispered lamely, although he had indeed forgotten and was privately disappointed.
But it's a very good thing,> he thought as the water began to ripple again, steeling himself. Can't run around having sex with everyone. I've got to conserve my power and my aura. If I don't keep it at this level-->
He paused, dumbstruck.
The new naiad who had appeared with the one from before was... not like her sisters.
"Did You want something, Lord Lucifer?" the poor thing asked tentatively, her hands flying nervously from her hair (short and ragged at the edges) to her face (flushed and squinting) to her naked torso (she was thin and short and positively boyish compared to the others).
"I have an opportunity for you, Ikhny," the Rebel said, with more kindness than Zero had ever seen from Her before. "One of My sons is in need of a second."
The naiad called Ikhny instantly looked over at Zero with something disturbingly like hope blushing across her face. Then she noticed Kizna standing behind him, flushed, and turned instead to Hiead.
That hope shriveled away and died under his returning glare.
"Hiead's last second met with an unfortunate accident," Lucifer was going on, "and he needs a replacement. I thought the position might suit you better than your current state."
"It would have to be," one of the naiads crowed.
"That's right, that's right!" said another. "Why, she's never even brought a man to her pool, much less eaten one!"
They all laughed mockingly while Ikhny turned several embarrassed shades. Zero suddenly found the lot of them much less attractive. Random malice towards one's weaker kin wasn't very appealing even in demon society.
That's what Caina is all about,> he thought darkly, and had a few pleasant thoughts about throwing the naiads into the ring of Hell devoted to betrayers of family.
"It's... It's a pleasure to meet you," the shy one stammered, still reddened from her sisters' words.
Hiead only turned to Lucifer in response, and asked Her, "Is this done now? As much as I appreciate Your aid, there is work to be done."
"Yes, indeed," Lucifer confirmed, pacing away from the river. "And now that both My sons and both their seconds are here, We can resume."
"We're so honored to be present," said a naiad happily.
"But no one said anything about you," Zero pointed out, sneering.
Kizna smirked at them, clearly feeling the same way. "I'm afraid that only Ikhny is really… worthy of being privy to this discussion."
And for the first time, Ikhny could walk with her head held high while her sisters gaped at her jealously as their now-inferior status sunk in.
Check. Good deed for the day is done.> Zero felt almost proud of himself as he walked beside Ikhny and Kizna towards his Mother, and Hiead behind Her.
"I called the two of you here for this purpose," She began, still walking across Safeways invisible to the ignorant eye. "To discuss with you the inheritance of this, My territory."
Lucifer waved a casual hand at the scenery, but it was not the placid green fields and embracing warm sunlight that she indicated: it was the world beyond the illusions of the gentle corridors that she spoke of. Hell.
It was the Succession.
A thousand conflicting emotions rose in Zero's mind at the conversational opening, excitement and greed and wariness and bloodlust and everything he'd bottled up for as long as She had required that he play nice with his brother. But it was long past time for that cycle to finally end -- for one of them to become the true Heir of Hell. No more playing nice, no more dancing around each other, no more deliberately placing taunts that couldn't be responded to or fighting the urge to take retaliation for a petty insult.
"It is very important that you listen to Me closely and play by My rules." Those words snapped him back to himself. She was watching them both closely, their identical expressions of anticipation on identical demons of Her own making; Her expression was stern and unforgiving. "Any action you may take contrary to My intentions will be punishable by death and immediate forfeit."
Forfeit, of course, was much worse than death. It would be giving the title to him.
"This will not be a brawl, nor a free-for-all. The Succession will be decided as it should be -- by the will of the denizens of Hell." Lucifer's pearlescent eyes closed. "I have chosen a more politic arena than the battlefield."
And, of course, by politic She meant that it was going to be a long and drawn-out affair before the Succession was decided. Zero forced himself to relax, somewhat disappointed. He'd hoped that he could look forward to waking up tomorrow with the cheerful knowledge that Hiead was dead dead dead.
"This shall be a battle of not only brute force, but of tactics," She said, stepping lightly over a patch of red-stained grass that was going to need cleaning before the angels came. "The two of you must wage a campaign to win support first. Each clan will have one vote--"
"Since when has Hell been a democracy?" Hiead snarled. He fell quickly silent when Her eyes descended on him with furious chill.
Once She was satisfied that he would protest no more, She continued. "Each clan will have one vote in the matter. Each of you, I believe, currently have the support of approximately half the clans of Hell."
According to the numbers Clay had given him at the meeting earlier, Zero realized, they were at exactly half-and-half, an event which had only happened once before, in their younger days. That was probably even what She had been waiting for before triggering the Succession -- equal footing.
"Once you have seventy-five percent of the clans behind you, you may begin to call in on that promised support. And once you reach eighty percent, you shall have free reign."
Free reign... to kill your brother?> A quick glance at Hiead showed that he was thinking the same thing. Whichever of them had the support of eighty percent of Hell first would be the only one to survive.
It was perfect. Brilliant. Lucifer at Her best. There was no mistake -- this would be the greatest war Hell would ever see, and yet there would be no fighting; She had made it near-impossible to win, and yet impossible to abandon; their fate would rest upon the whims of the demons, and yet nothing would happen to them that would be anyone's fault but their own.
The Succession had begun.
The last ring of hell is for traitors, and there are four levels: Caina, for betrayers of family; Antenora, for betrayers of country; Ptolomea, for betrayers of dependents; and lastly Judecca, for betrayers of friends. For those of you who are really on the ball, you'll recognize those as the names of the four members of Vinsfeld's "Cocytus", from Wild ARMs 2. Cocytus is also the name of the River between these rings of Hell and the lesser ones.
The Phlegethon is the river of eternal fire, which burns but does not consume. And the Forest refers to the region of Hell where suicides go, according to Dante; they become trees in the forest, and lots of assorted nasty things happen to them there, just like everywhere else in Hell. ^^
More on everything not explained here... later. ^_^
--Kay!