When You're A Fool In Love
Chapter Three: He's Mine!
Sadly, I don't own Ranma ½ but if you'd be so kind as to leave your e-mail address in one of your reviews over there, I'd be glad to let you know when I do own Ranma. *Hint hint*
This chapter isn't so funny, but bear with me. BTW, originally I wasn't gonna finish any of my fics because I can never get my lazy ass back into gear, but then I didn't think that it was fair to leave you guys hanging. So even if you think this story sucks or it doesn't have a good enough plot, or I don't get enough reviews, I will still finish this off.
~ * ~ * ~
Ranma
Life was evil. Pure and simple.
In the course of one day, my life had taken a turn for the worst – as if it hadn't been bad enough already. And did anybody give me a break? Nooo…let's just have fun torturing our ol' buddy, Ranma. Oh, no. He won't mind. Steal his favourite childhood friend, add a touch of Kuno-affection, bring Akane into the scene and it's a perfect set.
Yep. Pure genius how Kami managed to find a way to ruin my life on top of everything else. He was probably laughing it up right now, and probably already thinking of heaps more ways to torment me. Yeah, you laugh now I muttered bitterly, facing skywards. Wait until I die and start wringing your neck like there's no tomorrow…we'll see who'll be laughing then. (AN: okay, does that count as being sacrilegious? Cuz I didn't mean it, really I didn't…::cops pull her away:: "Tell that to the judge!")
I groaned and picked myself up from the gravel. Now even my bruises had bruises. It was a whole package deal. Get one bruise, get another hundred free. I glared balefully at Akane who crossed her arms over her chest, obviously already upset over my comment.
"What's with you, Ranma?" she asked. "All I did was give back your stuffed toy and…"
"You stole it, didn't you?!" I accused jabbing my finger at her. "While I was sleeping you crept into my room and took him…my precious friend! You took him and blackmailed me into this little date with you and I can't believe you, Akane! I would never have expected this from you…I…"
"Whoah!" Akane interrupted, placing her hands on her hips. "Hold on a second. Don't flatter yourself there, Mr. Hotshot. Who said I had anything to do with taking your stuffed hare?!" she demanded. "I'll have you know that it was carefully set out on my bed with a note saying to come here at this time. Be ungrateful, then."
I felt foolish and looked down. If there was one thing that I knew about Akane during our so-called engagement, it was that she never told any lies. "It's not a hare; it's a rabbit," I mumbled, hoping to salvage the situation. I wondered who could have taken Mr. Fuzzy Bunny then. Surely nobody else could know…except…Ryoga!!! He'd certainly walked in on me giving my little friend a bath one day. I'd sworn him to secrecy but the backstabbing swine had obviously devised this little plan. Well I had news for him. There was no way that I would let Akane suspect me of being the owner of Mr. Fuzzy Bunny!
"And anyway, Akane…it's not mine…"
She raised a skeptical eyebrow and peered at me through her lashes. "Hmm? Well whose is it then?" She demanded.
~ * ~ * ~ *
Ryoga
There I was, groaning to myself because I thought I'd shown up late for another battle yet again, when suddenly…
"It's his!"
I looked up to Ranma Saotome's voice and saw him pointing me out to Akane, who seemed to look rather skeptical. Well who wouldn't be, the way the jerk, Ranma managed to end up smack in the middle of every suspicious plot known to Nerima. But, hey, I figured anything to catch Akane's attention would definitely be right up my alley. For once, Ranma had done me good. Hastening my steps, I appeared by Akane's side in less than a nanosecond and beamed at her, hoping I'd remembered to brush my teeth that morning.
That's it Ryoga. Give her your academy-award winning smile…
My heart pounded furiously in my chest, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Ranma had rather a shocked look in his eyes. Apparently he hadn't expected me to own up to whatever the hell I was owning up to – truth be told, I had no clue as to what Ranma had pointed me out to Akane for, but whatever it was, seemed to make Akane take an interest in me, which in my opinion, was definitely a good sign.
"Is it true then, Ryoga?" Akane asked, shock clearly written all over her face.
Hey, I'd gone this far. I nodded. "Uh huh…whatever you want Akane."
Ranma held in a grin and held up a child's stuffed rabbit…from what I could recall…Mr. Fuzzy Bunny! Damn! He'd tricked me again. I braced myself for the hysterical laughter that was sure to accompany the sight of Akane holding her sides in mirth. And then she'd turn to me, see the look on my face, stop and say… "Oh…you were being serious." Oh the humanity! The agony! The pain!
But funnily enough, no sarcastic remarks came. I opened an eye slowly and say Akane staring at me with the most beautiful smile on her face.
"Ryoga, how sweet…a cute little Fuzzy Bunny…"
She grabbed my arm and smiled at me with a new-found respect and I gulped lost in the haze of her beautiful eyes, then let myself be led into the restaurant by her mouthing a silent 'thank you' to the stumped Ranma Saotome.
Hah! For once the gods were on my side…
Ranma
Okay, did I just miss something here?
Where was the sarcastic remark? Where was the "Oh Ryoga you are definitely an idiot?" Had I, Ranma Saotome, just done something nice for Porky?
Backtrack a little Einstein, I cautioned myself. You just told Akane that it was Ryoga's stuffed hare and saved your ass in the process. And Ryoga owned up to it.
As far as that, I was lost…
…but from what I could gather, Ryoga was getting a free date with Akane because of my stuffed rabbit?! Now that wasn't right. With a low grunt, I pushed my sleeves up and headed into the restaurant.
Kodachi
"Ranma darling? Oh, Ranma darling?"
Where was my beloved husband-to-be? Surely he dared not stand up such a beautiful maiden as I?
The poor soul was probably searching for me, just as I him. I breathed a sigh of relief as I caught sight of him at the entrance of the restaurant having an argument with one of the waiters.
"…I'm sorry sir, but we can't allow you in without a partner. This restaurant is for couples only. Maybe singles come in here – we don't know…we don't want to know…" the waiter was explaining to Ranma who looked rather peeved at the moment.
"Ranma how nice of you to try and get tables for us," I trilled grabbing his arm and flashing him a brilliant smile.
"Oh, it's you."
Not quite the greeting I was hoping for, but we could work on that. "It's alright," I assured the waiter. "He's with me." I steered him inside, keeping a death-grip on his arm and led him to a table near the window where we could get the most spectacular view while he was confessing his love for me.
I scowled as I noticed Akane Tendo nearby with that idiot of a boy – Ryoga something or other. He was staring at her with the most awe-struck expression, drool almost dripping from his lower lip as his eyes went all googly.
"Down boy," I muttered beneath my breath as we passed their table.
Ranma straightened and I grabbed his arm and sat him down by a nearby table. This was my date with Ranma-darling and no no-good wretch of an Akane Tendo was going to ruin my evening.
Ranma
I shot Ryoga a death-glare, a look I had perfected ever since I had realized just how attached Akane was with Porky Pig, himself.
He returned it with a smug smile, and took Akane's hand.
She wouldn't have led him into the restaurant if I hadn't insulted her first, I reminded myself, and I just wanted to slap myself silly.
I glowered as Akane blushed at one of Ryoga's compliments. Something about 'Your eyes bewitching my very soul.' Hah! I could do better than that.
It would be like "Akane, you do wonders for me. I laugh better – and it's all because I'm near you…"
No. Not unless I wanted to avoid another round of Ranma-bashing
"Akane…"
Oh screw it.
Over at the next table Ryoga smiled tenderly at Akane. "You know Akane," he whispered huskily. "At first I was scared to tell you that Mr Fuzzy Bunny was mine, but…"
WHAT?! He was Ryoga's Fuzzy Bunny now? That did it!
"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT, PORKY!" I seethed, knocking over my glass and striding over to Akane''s table. "Mr. Fuzzy Bunny is mine! Not yours! I'm the one who gave him baths when his poor little hiney got dirty. I'm the one who gave him a bed to sleep in. HOW DARE YOU TAKE CREDIT FOR MY MR. FUZZY BUNNY?!"
I shook Mr. Fuzzy Bunny's head in his face and it was then that I realized that everything and everybody had gone quiet.
And then a glass fell to the floor and the hysterics broke out…
~ * ~ * ~
Not far away Nabiki Tendo shook her head and hid beneath the menu.
Just pretend you don't know him…
~ * ~ * ~
Well how was that guys? Did that tickle your funny bone? Whatever. Just drop me an opinion, suggestion, or even a flame. Thanks guys!