Settling In

"WHO STOLE MY JELLY DOUGHNUTS?" Ripper snarled. He glared around the derelict shack. Most of the other Dreadnoks were lying around on couches that had seen better days.

"Don't look at me," Monkeywrench said, ignoring the fact that there was jelly smeared all over his moustache and beard.

"WHY YOU LYING…!" Ripper threw himself at Monkeywrench and they started brawling.

"They're at it again," Zarana told her twin brother Zandar. "Think we should stop them?"

"Nah," He grabbed a beer and gulped it down. "The cable's out."

"You're right," Zarana shrugged. "Might as well watch the show."

Both men were punching and slugging each other. "Get 'em Ripper!" Torch shouted.

"No way!" Buzzer shouted. "Monkeywrench has got this one in the bag! Five bucks on…OWWWW!" He grimaced as a sixteen-year-old girl with green hair, a pierced nose and lip twisted his ear. "Come on Zanya! We're just having some fun!"

"Which usually leads to something being demolished!" Zanya snapped. "ROAD PIG!"

A huge man with white hair with a pink streak on each side came into the room and easily separated the two combatants. "Thy will is done fair lady," He said. "Cease your brawling gentlemen, as per the lady's request."

Then Road Pig's face contorted. "THAT MEANS KNOCK IT OFF!" He shouted in a different voice and cracked their skulls together before tossing them to the ground.

"Uh, did you give him his medication?" Zanya asked Zarana.

"I thought he did it?" Zarana pointed to Zandar.

"Oh god I have to do everything around here!" Zanya rolled her eyes.

"Well you are second in command now," Zandar reminded her. "Leadership has its responsibilities."

"My responsibilities shouldn't include being a nursemaid to a bunch of sissies who fight over every little thing," She took out a bottle from a cabinet. "Donald, your medicine!"

"Much gratitude my lady," Road Pig bowed before he swallowed his pill.

"T-thank you," Road Pig stuttered again in his other voice.

"Where the hell is my father?" Zanya asked. "Cobra Commander just called again screaming for him."

"He said he had a little errand to run," Torch shrugged.

"That was two days ago!" Zanya snapped. "Where the hell could he be?"

"Don't look at me love," Zandar shrugged. "Your father never tells me anything!"

"Well maybe if you didn't whine about how nobody pays any attention to you all the time…" Zarana snapped.

The door swung open. "I'm home!" Zartan called out.

"Father!" Zanya sighed. "Where the hell have you been? What happened?" She then looked behind him. "WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE?"

Mystique entered the room. She looked like a queen that had the unpleasant duty of addressing a peasant. "It's good to see you again…Anya."

"Zanya," She corrected her. "Anya was my cover. This is the real me!"

"Indeed," Mystique looked her over. Zanya was wearing torn green camouflage pants, a black shirt with sewn in studs, proudly proclaiming DREADNOK FOR HIRE as well as black gloves, spiked dog collar and combat boots. In addition to her nose and lip being pierced, she had an eyebrow stud as well as several earrings on each ear. "I think I liked the old you better."

"Look who's talking Blue," Zandar snickered.

"Whoo-eee!" Ripper leered. "Ain't you a nice bit of fluff! Hey is that skin really blue?" He went to touch it. Big mistake. The next thing he knew he was thrown into a wall by Mystique's punch.

"Hands off dirt ball!" Mystique snarled.

"Ladies and…everyone else," Zartan announced. "Allow me to introduce our newest ally, Mystique."

"Charmed I'm sure," Road Pig bowed.

"What are you up to?" Zarana asked Zartan. "We don't need no new recruits! What's this all about?"

"Patience my dear sister," Zartan smiled. "All will be revealed. First some introductions. Mystique this is my dear baby sister Zarana and her twin brother Zandar."

"I'm also your brother too," Zandar huffed under his breath.

"Here are the other members of the Dreadnok staff," Zartan pointed to each. "You know Monkeywrench, Torch, Buzzer, and that's Ripper by the wall there. And this is…"

"Allow me," Road Pig bowed. "I am Donald, pleased to meet your acquaintance."

Then again his other voice returned. "And…I…uh… am Road Pig!"

"Our friend here has a spilt personality," Zartan explained. "We've decided it's charming."

"This is your organization? Four morons, Sybil, the Pinky Twins here and a teenage girl in serious need of a makeover?" Mystique groaned. "No wonder you need my help!"

"Help for what?" Zanya asked. "What scheme are you planning this time?"

"A very profitable one," Zartan smiled. "Trust me."

"You I do trust," Zanya glared at Mystique.

"Ugh! These morons make the Brotherhood look like neat freaks!" Mystique grumbled as she looked around the room with distaste.

"Forgive me," Zartan pressed a hidden switch. "This is the romper room for the boys. Our living quarters are a bit tidier."

A bookcase moved to reveal a secret passage. As she walked through it. To her shock was a huge military room filled with computers and other high tech equipment. "Impressive."

"Thank you," Zartan shrugged. "We keep the front part as a place for the boys to play so this area doesn't get messy. Our living quarters are down below."

"This…person is going to live with us?" Zanya's voice was icy. "You can't be serious!"

"Be a little patient with her," Zartan smiled a charming smile at Mystique. "She's been a bit difficult since her mother departed."

"She didn't depart Zartan," Torch said. "She ran off with that jerk Thrasher, remember?" Zanya whacked him on the head. "OW!"

"Hmm," Mystique looked around. "I see that there is a need for discipline here. Zanya show me my room."

"Hold on a second!" Zanya snapped. "Who do you think you are just waltzing in here and giving orders?"

"Are you threatening me child?" Mystique's tone was icy.

"This child," Zarana stepped up. "Has more experience with us Dreadnoks and is the future leader of our organization. She's seen plenty of combat experience and has earned her position. The only people qualified to put the little dink in her place is her blood relations, which you ain't!"

"My aunt is correct," Zanya said with her chin held high. "I've been a Dreadnok since the day I was born and I was my father's second in command since I was thirteen. I've proven myself in the battlefield which counts a lot more than proving yourself in my father's bed!"

"Why you impertinent little…" Mystique raised her hand to slap her.

"Try it and see what happens!" Zanya hissed.

"That's enough!" Zartan grabbed Mystique's wrist. "All of you. We're all on the same side here! And since we are all going to be living together I suggest we all learn to get along."

"Just one big happy family," Zandar grumbled.

"Well I ain't sharing a room with her!" Zarana snapped.

"Ditto for me!" Zanya said.

"And where am I supposed to sleep?" Mystique asked.

"How about out in the swamp with the rest of the slimy reptiles?" Zarana said.

"No pink headed fashion victim is going to insult me and get away with it!" Mystique snapped.

"Look who's talking!" Zarana shouted, making a fist. "A slut with a bad rash and an even worse haircut!"

"At least my hair is cut!" Mystique shouted, making a fist of her own. "Not hacked off with a machete!"

"Why you…" Zarana shouted as she started to throw a punch.

"LADIES!" Zartan stepped between them.

"SHE STARTED IT!" Both women said at the same time.

"I have a much more, interesting proposal," Zartan smiled at Mystique. "If you don't mind sharing a room…."

"Well in that case," Mystique smiled and took Zartan's arm. "Lead the way." They left for Zartan's room.

"Looks like the boss man's gonna get a little nookie tonight," Ripper snickered.

"More than you ever got in your lifetime," Buzzer snapped.

Zarana and Zanya looked at each other. It was an instant bond between aunt and niece. It was a look that said I hate her already!

************************************************************************

Two days after the incident at the barbecue, Pietro and Wanda were discharged from the medical wing. "It's weird," Wanda shrugged. "I feel like I don't want to leave."

"It's probably we got used to Lifeline and Bree taking care of us," Pietro sighed.

"Cheer up guys," Bree told them. "We'll still see you around. And you two are going into a good home with a lot of love."

"ALL ABOARD THE SHIPWRECK EXPRESS!" Shipwreck called out. Althea was standing with him.

"That's not all there is in this house," Althea grumbled.

"Come on," Shipwreck said. "So it will be a little cramped for a week or so. It's only until Lance is healed up. Then we go off for a bit of training. By the time we get back the house will be all fixed up and the new additions will be in."

"You'd be amazed how often this has happened," Althea told them.

"So we'll be training now?" Wanda asked as they left.

"Not so much right away," Shipwreck told her. "We want to give you two a chance to recover. You'll be getting into a routine slowly."

"Good luck," Wanda smirked. "My brother doesn't do anything slow, except maybe learn his lesson."

"Hey!" Pietro snapped.

"Come on you two," Shipwreck nudged them along. Soon they were at a large gray house. "Here we are! Casa Delgato!"

"Might as well move in here and start getting used to this nuthouse," Althea shrugged. "Wanda, you're bunking in with me."

"Where am I going to sleep?" Pietro asked.

"Well Cover Girl is going to sleep in the spare room," Shipwreck scratched his head. "I didn't think you'd want to sleep with the baby so I fixed up a section in the basement for you."

"You're putting me in the basement?" Pietro asked.

"Oh calm down Cinderella," Althea groaned. "Besides would you rather sleep with the screaming poop machine?"

"You have a point," Pietro sighed as they went inside.

"WAAAKKK!" Polly the parrot flew wildly around, carrying something in its beak.

"Come back here you stupid bird!" Cover Girl chased after it.

"Special delivery! Wak!" Polly dropped the item on Shipwreck's head. It was a bra.

"Uh…I can explain," Shipwreck gulped as a very angry Cover Girl glared at him. "Hey this is nice material!" He started fingering it.

"Give me that!" Cover Girl grabbed the bra. "I swear if I had known I'd be living with you, I'd have never let Hawk talk me into this! If it wasn't for these kids needing at least one stable parent in this house…"

"Come on Cover Girl give me a break!" Shipwreck held up his hands in defense. "Now you don't want to expose these poor traumatized children to more violence do you?" He shoved Pietro in front of him. "Remember, we're trying to teach them when it's not acceptable to use violence!"

"Can I share a room with you?" Pietro asked Cover Girl.

"Hey!" Shipwreck shoved him out of the way. "That's my line!"

Shipwreck let out a yelp of pain as Cover Girl grabbed his ear and twisted it. "Listen up!" She snapped. "I will not put up with any sophomoric behavior from either of you! Understand?"

"Yes ma'am," Pietro gulped as he witnessed Shipwreck writhing in pain.

"Pietro I want you to go downstairs and get settled into your room," Cover Girl told him. "Then I want you to get washed up for dinner. There's a separate bathroom down there as well. You too Wanda! Althea show her to your room."

"You heard the lady," Althea shrugged.

"Is she really gonna live with us?" Wanda whispered to her as they went upstairs.

"Looks like it. No biggie. I'm used to the women on this base dropping in and taking care of us from time to time," Althea told her.

"Okay, okay you made your point Cover Girl now let me go!" Shipwreck yelped.

She did so. "Geeze you didn't have to twist my ear off!" He rubbed his ear.

"Yes I did," Cover Girl folded her arms. "Look Shipwreck it's going to be hard enough watching out for these kids without dealing with you! I mean it!"

"Hey come on," Shipwreck shrugged. "You know me!"

"That's the problem."

"Give me some credit," Shipwreck told her. "Come on, I really appreciate this. Can't we start over? No hard feelings?"

"Fine," Cover Girl sighed.

"Let's hug!" He opened his arms wide.

"Shipwreck!"

"What? Hugging is a valid form of expression! Every child should be hugged! What better way to practice is on each other?"

"No!"

"Pleeeeeaaaassssseee!"

"No way!"

"I'll be your friend!"

"Oh for crying out loud."

"Come on! Let's all love each other!"

"Shut up."

"All we need is love! All we need is love!"

"If you start singing I will personally tear your teeth out one by one!"

"Hug me! I'm so huggable!"

"Is your father always like this?" Wanda asked Althea. They had come back into the room and were watching the scene.

"Unfortunately," Althea groaned. "Hit him Cover Girl!"

"Just one little hug!" Shipwreck pouted. "That's all I need."

"That's' not what you need from where I'm standing," Althea called out.

"Pleeeeeaasseeeeee?" Shipwreck opened his arms wide. "You know you want to! Come on, you have to set an example for the children here!"

"If I hug you will you shut up?" Cover Girl groaned.

"Yes and I will be very good," Shipwreck made a crossing motion over his heart. "Scouts' honor!"

"Fine," She sighed and hugged him. "Okay girls show's over! Back upstairs!"

"And I thought my father was crazy," Wanda shook her head as they went back up to the room.

"You have no idea," Althea groaned.

"There that wasn't so bad now was it?" Shipwreck smiled.

"No…wait…WHERE'S MY BRA?" She saw it sticking out of Shipwreck's back pocket. "SHIPWRECK!"

"Now how did that get in there?" Shipwreck said innocently. "Just kidding!"

"Why do I have the feeling that Pietro isn't going to be the biggest problem child in this household?" Cover Girl glared at Shipwreck as she advanced on him.

KABOOOMMM!

A loud explosion shook the house. "WOW IT IS SO COOL DOWN HERE!" Pietro called out.

"Damn! I forgot about the chemicals down there!" Shipwreck hit his head.

Pietro zoomed upstairs. "Uh I kinda made a mess down there!"

"Wonderful," Cover Girl groaned.

"Here, clean it up with this," Shipwreck tossed Pietro Cover Girl's bra. "Oops," He gulped when he realized his mistake.

"SHIPWRECK!" Cover Girl looked like she was going to kill him.

"I forgot what it was!" Shipwreck pleaded. "Really! Honest! It was an accident!"

"I'll show you an accident," Cover Girl rolled up her sleeve.

"Hey can I keep this?" Pietro asked, indicating the bra.

The look in Cover Girl's eye told him that was not the right thing to say. "Run kid!" Shipwreck yelped as Cover Girl grabbed him. "SAVE YOURSELF! AGGH! FORGET THAT! SAVE ME!"

"Take your pounding like a man!" She screamed.

"I'm out of here!" Pietro ran to the door. He would have run out of it, but something was blocking his way. Pietro fell down on his butt as he ran into it. He looked up. "You!"

"What are you doing here?" Cover Girl looked up and stopped pounding on Shipwreck.

"Well hello there," Low Light stood at the door. "Uncle Low-Light is moving in!"