Author's Notes:
Okay, I admit it: I like Ryou/Bakura beating stories. Don't get me wrong. But, I just had the crazy idea to make fun of these stories. And so, here comes that idea. Just read it.
Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, then I'd…own Yu-Gi-Oh, which I don't. So, that means I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but that doesn't mean I…own…Yu-Gi-Oh. Wait, what?
Chapter-O-One"Come back here, uhh, you!" Bakura screamed, chasing Ryou throughout the house. "I's gonna kill you, boy! 'Cause I gots a lot of hate in me, because of my mysterious past and shit!"
"Oh, but you can't kill me! I have lots of people who love me!" Ryou shouted to him. He suddenly stopped. "Oh wait, no I don't. Okay, you can kill me." He turned to Bakura. "Just make sure you kill me some good, 'kay?"
Bakura simply stared at him. Ryou thought for a minute.
"Oh, um, I mean, uh… You can't kill me! Because I love you! And although you don't know it yet, you love me! And we have to get together after you've seen the error of your ways! But, by then I would have probably committed suicide, and you go on and on about how much you love me, and by some weird circumstance, I come back to life and we live happily ever after!"
"…"
Ryou rolled his eyes. "If you kill me now, then it will ruin the entire story."
"Oh." Bakura sat down on the couch. "So…what do you want to do?"
"Well, I'm going to go up in my room and recite bad Goth poetry, or I'll start a band. Then I'll put black streaks through my hair, because it looks cool, and I'm weird. You stay down here and talk about how pretty I looked today, but quickly reprimand yourself. Then you keep telling yourself that you hate me, but make it seem like that you don't hate me, deep down inside. Or something like that." Ryou added, walking up the stairs. Bakura shrugged and leaned back on the couch, concentrating.
Ooh, Ryou looked so pretty today- WAIT! I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, and I hate him, although I really don't inside. WAIT! I'm a cold-hearted bastard, so that means I can't love anyone. Ooh, and I'm scared of Ryou for some odd reason that makes no sense. Bakura smirked. Yep…I sure am evil…evil like an…evil…thing…yep…
Meanwhile…Somewhere Not In A Laundry Mat…
"Weeping, I crawled into my danky doom, because my life sucks and I want to kill myself, but I'd rather just go on and on about how much my life sucks…" Ryou sang, putting black streaks in his hair.
Suddenly, the RING RING of the telephone came!
"Hello?" Ryou chirped happily, putting down his hair dye.
"Hi Ryou! Are you okay?" Yuugi said back.
"That's all it is with you, isn't it?! You're always calling to ask me what's wrong! You never call just to say hi! I hate you! Leave me to my bad Goth poetry!" Ryou screamed, slamming the phone down. He quickly picked it up and dialed a number.
"Hello?" Came Yuugi's voice.
"AND YOU'RE REALLY SHORT!" Ryou screamed, slamming the phone down once more. He looked back into the mirror and smiled. "Who's a pretty lady?" He sang.
"You are! You are!" Chorused the mirror.
"QUIET! I can't go insane this early is the story!" Ryou shouted. Bakura stormed in.
"Shut the Hell up! You're always so loud!" He yelled. Ryou spun around.
"Shove it up your ass!" He yelled back. Bakura stared at him. Ryou rolled his eyes. "Well, you see, this is the part of the story when I'm supposed to yell at you, without really realizing what I was doing. Now you are supposed to beat me up." Ryou explained.
"Oh."
"Here." Ryou said, handing Bakura and stick. Bakura took it and whacked Ryou on the side of his head.
"Did that hurt some good?" Bakura asked. Ryou nodded.
"You know, you have really bad grammar in this story." He stated. Bakura shrugged.
"It's funnier that way."
"Oh."
"So, when do I get to rape you?"
"Not until later."
"Aww man!"
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(A/N)
Well, that was... Interesting. It was kind of short, but I plan on making this story short. So, uh, yeah. Stay tuned for stuff. Oh, the stuff to stay tuned for.
Remember kids, SMILE UNTIL YOU STOP.