It's time for a little Mystique torture! Now normally I'm not really a fan of spanking. However, some people clearly deserve it!
Family Counseling, Dreadnok Style
Mystique had always believed that the Brotherhood were the most uncivilized, undisciplined slobs she had ever had the misfortune to live with. Until now. She kicked several empty bottles off the front porch. "This is intolerable!" She snapped. "I thought the Brotherhood were lazy slobs! But you Dreadnoks are the worst! Look at this! I've got doughnut crumbs all over my boots!"
"Aw come on Mystie," Monkeywrench let out a loud burp from his hammock. "It's not that bad!"
"It's an utter dump!" Mystique snarled. "It was cleaner in prison!"
"Well you can always go back there if it's so bad here!" Zanya snapped. "For the past few days all I've been hearing is your whining! So shut it!"
"Who do you think you are talking to me like that?" Mystique whirled on her. "If your father was here…"
"Well he's not! And even if he were he'd tell you the same thing! If I can live in this swamp for nearly my entire life you can tolerate it for a few days!" Zanya shouted. "Although I don't know why you're complaining. The swamp seems to be a step up for gutter trash like you!"
"That's it you little…" Mystique swung at her. Zanya ducked it and kicked her in the stomach. "Alright…if that's the way you want to play…"
Mystique charged and grabbed Zanya. Soon both of them were rolling around on the dirt. "HEY GUYS GET OUT HERE!" Monkeywrench got up from his hammock and shouted to the rest of the Dreadnoks. "THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY'S GOING ON OUT HERE!"
"What the…?" Ripper came out. "WHOOOIEEEE! Look at them go!"
"I'm going to teach you to show me respect once and for all!" Mystique raged at Zanya.
"Yeah right!" Zanya spat in her face. "What can a tramp like you do?"
"Oh you wanna know huh?" Mystique twisted Zanya's arm and dragged her to a downed log.
"What are you doing?" Zanya screamed as Mystique forced her to bend over it.
"How about this!" Mystique whacked Zanya on the behind with her open palm repeatedly. "And this! And this! And this!"
"Leggo you witch!" Zanya screamed in pain. "You are so dead!"
"And who's gonna stop…meeeeeeeee!" Mystique yelped in agony as Zarana grabbed her. Zanya took the opportunity to get away.
"I told you once you blue skinned bimbo!" Zarana yanked Mystique's hair. "NOBODY LAYS A HAND ON THAT GIRL BUT FAMILY!"
Zarana tossed Mystique backward right into the swamp. "Thanks Zarana," Zanya gasped. "Now help me teach her a lesson she'll never forget!"
"With pleasure!" Both women started tearing at Mystique. The male Dreadnoks were whooping with delight at the scene.
"Oh man this is better than the Spice Channel!" Monkeywrench hooted.
"Shouldn't we do something?" Buzzer asked.
"Don't worry," Torch told him. He was holding a camera. "I'm already taping it!"
"That's good," Buzzer nodded. "Give her a good thrashing Zanya!"
"I don't know who's gonna win this one but I don't care!" Ripper howled with laughter.
"KILL HER ZARANA!" Road Pig howled. "Oh dear! That's got to hurt!"
"Hold her down while I give her a taste of her own medicine!" Zanya screamed as she grabbed a flat board. While Zarana held her face down, Zanya whacked her behind with it.
"YEEEOOOWWW!" Mystique yelped as Zanya hit her several times.
"Whatsa matter?" Zanya cackled. "You can dish it out, but you can't take it!"
"TAKE THIS!" Mystique snarled before transforming herself into a bear. Zarana tumbled off in shock. She roared as she advanced on the two Dreadnok females.
"Blimey!" Zarana gasped.
"Big deal!" Zanya snapped. "So she's a little hairier! She still ain't invulnerable!" She kicked the bear in the snout. Before Mystique could react she leapt over her and grabbed onto her ears.
"Ride 'em Zanya!" Ripper whooped as Zarana grabbed a rope and tried to tie Mystique up.
Mystique changed form again back to her regular self, tossing Zanya to the ground. Then she squared off with Zarana. Zanya took the opportunity to bite her hard on the leg.
"YEOWWW!" Mystique tried to pry her off. "YOU LITTLE…."
A laser shot fired over their heads. They stopped brawling and looked at Zartan holding his weapon, scowling at them. "CEASE THIS AT ONCE!" He bellowed.
"SHE STARTED IT!" They all shouted. They all pointed at each other.
"SHUT UP!" Zartan snarled. "I don't care who started it! I go away for a few hours and find you at each other's throats! How do you expect to take over Cobra when you can't even control yourselves?"
"Take over Cobra?" Zanya blinked. "You're kidding right?"
"You've gone batty," Zarana said.
"On the contrary," Zartan grinned. "I've never been saner. That's why I brought Mystique in to help us."
"Forget this!" Mystique spat. "I will not work with these pigs and this intolerable urchin!"
"Do you want revenge on the X-Men or not?" Zartan snapped. "Not to mention protection from Magneto? Or GI Joe? And let's not forget to create an empire for mutants as well."
Mystique sulked. "And you daughter," Zartan whirled on Zanya. "Do you want to spend the rest of your life in this swamp? Wouldn't you prefer to become a leader of a powerful army? A queen in your own right?"
"No sir," Zanya said. "I'm sorry if I disappointed you in any way. I'll take the responsibility but not the blame, it was her fault!" She pointed at Mystique.
"Yeah!" Monkeywrench spoke up. "Mystique was complaining as usual and Zanya was just trying to calm her down when she goes ballistic and starts wailing on her!"
"You stupid lying…" Mystique growled.
"I may be stupid lady, but I ain't no idiot!" Monkeywrench told her.
"Yeah he knows which side his bread is buttered on," Ripper snickered.
"Yeah she was trying to discipline the kid for no reason," Zarana said. "That's why I stepped in!"
"I see," Zartan rolled his eyes. He thought it was high time to lay down the law. As much as he enjoyed Mystique's company, he trusted her as much as a pit of rattlers. His daughter and sister were far more loyal as well as family. "Mystique, I need you as an ally but I will not tolerate you showing disrespect to your teammates as well as my second in command."
"Allies? These bozos?" She spat. "They're human for crying out loud! What makes you think they'll help us?"
"Listen Smurfette," Buzzer snapped. "As long as we get paid lots of cash we don't care if Pokemon take over the bloody planet!"
"There does that satisfy you?" Zartan asked her. "I will not tolerate you trying to discipline either my troops or my daughter without my approval. That is my job. Therefore you must be punished."
"What makes you think I'm just going to take whatever you decide to do to me?" Mystique snapped.
"If you don't I'll toss you out of this swamp and find another shapeshifter to help me," Zartan told her. "Or maybe I'll simply do this…" He whispered into her ear.
Mystique's eyes widened. "You wouldn't dare!"
"Try me," He growled. Then a gleam came into his eye. "Besides if you go through with it, I might be more disposed to, shall we say…make up for it?" He whispered into her ear.
"Is that even possible?" Mystique gasped.
"Your choice," Zartan shrugged. "A little pain and humiliation now for a lot of pleasure later or…simply a lot of pain."
"Fine," Mystique sighed. I am going to get him for this!
"Good," Zartan roughly grabbed her and threw her over his knee. "Now pay attention girls," He said to his sister and daughter. "Next time I catch you roughhousing again I'll do this to you!" He started swatting Mystique's behind rapidly.
"OWWW!" Mystique screamed as she was spanked, her ears burning at the hoots and snickers of the Dreadnoks surrounding her. Enjoy it for now you morons! I swear you are all going to pay for this! She thought.
Okay, now that that's out of my system, let's go back to the boys shall we?