Ranma: *major sweatdrops* Um.... Just why are you talking like Shampoo?
Bakura: *shakes his head* Chocolate high/hangover. And reading one too many fics about you guys...
Ryoga: *grumbles* Great, so this is our fault?
Bakura: Hai.
Ranma: *sighs* Isn't it always Pork-boy? WSJ don't own YGO or Ranma. She wishes she did. *Konatsu, Ryoga and Ryou sweatdrop*
()()()()()
PCHANGE
Chapter 7: Pegasus-Clause and Instant Amazon
The two martial artists and one cross-dressing ninja stood looking at each other for a moment, before Ranma and Ryoga glanced at each other. For once in perfect agreement, they stepped inside WSJ's room and Ranma quietly closed the door behind them. Ranma opened his mouth to say something to Konatsu, when Ryoga elbowed him in the side. "Hey, it's... Us."
Ranma and Konatsu both blinked, looking around the room for the first time. "Well I'll be..." Indeed. Covering WSJ's walls were drawings off all sorts, most done by her. Ranma, Ryoga, and Ryou & Bakura seemed to be her favorite subjects, although there were many of various other bishonen as well, including... Mousse?! Over her computer was a huge pin-up of the British actor Orlando Bloom, framed by sketches and other various pictures of him.
Ryoga sweatdropped. "Jeez, does she have a fetish for this guy, or what?"
"It's the accent..." Ranma said, eyeing a picture of the Brit in something... reveiling. "K'so, most of these pictures have got to be from the black market..."
Konatsu made a face. "Nah, just from crazed fangirls like herself. I heard somewhere that there's something like 3,000 websites dedicated to him."
The other two blinked and stared at him. "Really? Wow..."
Ranma shook his head in an attempt to get back on subject. "Anyway, Konatsu-chan, are you sure you're all right? 'Cuz I mean, you really don't look it..."
Konatsu looked down at his hands. "Well..."
"Hey, P-chan," Ranma nudged the Lost Boy. "Can you find your way back to the livingroom, or should I help you?"
Ryoga glared, and Ranma smiled serenly. "I'll be fine," With that, Ryoga promptly left. Amazingly, by the right door (as opposed to the one that led into the closet).
"What's on your mind?" Ranma asked. "I know I'm not exactly the first person people come to for advice, but I'll do my best."
"Well, you see Ranma-kun, WSJ's the only person that I've felt really understands me. I mean, Ukyou-sama does, because her situation's almost the exact reverse of mine, but she never really pays attention to me. WSJ, though, really notices me, and makes me actually feel liked. Maybe..." he strained to get the word out. "...Loved. But I feel like I'm betraying Ukyou-sama somehow!"
Ranma pursed his lips and leaned back in his seat. "Weeeell... It's not really a secret that Ucchan doesn't love you Konatsu-chan. Maybe as a good friend and business partner, yeah. But never as an airen." he didn't even notice using Shampoo's phrase, tossing it out without thinking.
Konatsu nodded saddly. "Y-yeah, I know. But do you think I should go after WSJ? I mean, she's wonderful! She could have anyone she wanted! I-I just don't know what she thinks of me... I'm so feminine, she probably thinks of me as a sister, not a suitor."
Ranma was stunned to silence momentarily by the bitterness in Konatsu's voice. "If she really does love you, she'll learn to deal with that. Hell, I've got three women who know about my curse, and love, or rather, 'love' me anyway."
Konatsu nodded, and leaned over to hug Ranma. "Thank you Ranma-kun."
Ranma grinned sheepishly. "You're welcome Konatsu-chan, but... Could you let go please?"
"Gomenasai..." Konatsu paused. "You know, my step-mother once threatened to cut off my head for acting too manly." He grinned mischeiviously, and Ranma groaned at the subtle barb.
"At least you don't have a mother who threatens to cut off your head if you're too girly..."
A shout from the livingroom drew the attention of Ranma and Konatsu, who got up and went downstairs to investigate. Pretty much everyone was gathered there, and, just so we have everything strait, here's the tally so far.
From Domino we have: Yugi, Yami (currently still unconcious), Ryou, Bakura, Malik, Ishtar, Joey, Mai, Seto, Mokuba and... Oh hey, ^-^ That's it!
Okay, from Nerima (willingly or not), we've got Ranma-kun, Ryoga, Akane, Konatsu, and Ukyou.
From the various dimentions they claim to have come from (*sweatdrops and whistles innocently*), we have WSJ, Yami-WSJ, SW, Yami-SW, Li, Yami-Li, Hotaru, Katya, and Rosie. Sheesh, it's getting crowded...
Anyway, they were all squeezed into the livingroom, and staring in facination at the fireplace. There was the sound of grunting, and two booted feet came into view. There was a pause, and then Mokuba looked up at Seto.
"I told you there was a Santa!"
"Er..." came a voice from the chimney. "I seem to be stuck..."
"Oh bloody hell!" Ukyou stompted over and grabbed a boot, yanking the holiday saint out of the flew. He sat there stunned for the moment, and, unfortunatly for him, his beard came unsnapped and drifted to the floor.
"PEGASUS?! I thought we got rid of you!"
"Er..." the silver-haired man sweatdroped. "Maybe?" Pegasus was sitting on the hearth wearing a red Santa suit trimmed in white fur. He even had the traditional Santa hat perched on his head.
The group from Domino (and a couple of the authoresses *coughKatyacough*) were only restrained from violence when another, more annoying voice drifted down the chimney to them. "Flying horse boy all right? Find airen?"
The Nerima half of the room (and WSJ) groaned. "Oh no..."
Shampoo appeared in the chimney behind Pegasus, unnoticingly booting him off the hearth as she stepped down. For the moment she didn't notice Ranma as she turned back around to look up the flew.
The Chinese Amazon was wearing a dress in her traditional style, which is to say, short and releiling, but it was done in red and green with little bells at the end of the sleeves. She yelled up to someone on the roof: "Bring water down now, yes?"
"Hai," came a voice from above. An instant later Mousse climbed down the chimney, a bucket of water balanced carefully in one hand. "Here you are, Shampoo..."
Shampoo grinned maliciously as she took the bucket. In one motion she spun around and flung the water at Ranma with a shreik of "Wo ai ne!" Ranma, of course, 'eeped' and ducked, causing the water to splash all over...
"Er..." Ranma carefully backed away from the wet authoress, who seemed to have frozen solid, her eyes staring at nothing. "Do I want to know what that was...?"
Shampoo looked like she was about ready to burst into tears, while Mousse was somewhat ecstatic. "It was water from Jusenkyo,"
"Um..." Akane paused before asking, rather nervously, "Which spring?" WSJ hadn't turned into anything different. At least, nothing as drastic as a duck or *shudder* a man. But it could still be almost anything. Spring of the Drowned Magical Girl, Spring of the Drowned Idol Singer, Spring of the Drowned Chibi-Usa... Now that one made Akane shudder.
"Was Spring of Drowned Amazon," Shampoo said unhappily. "Was going to make Ranma Amazon, so he marry Shampoo!"
"AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone jumped at the sound of WSJ's screech. "WSJ Amazon now?!? WSJ kill Chinese bimbo-girl and duck-boy! Omae wo korosu!" Joey quickly grabbed one of SJ's arms, while Yugi and Ryou latched on to the other to keep her from leaping at the two Chinese.
"Hey," Ryoga said quietly to Ranma, "Her grammer's the same as Shampoo's, but why's she throwing in Japanese phrases, and not Chinese?"
Rosie overheard that comment. "Because she can't speak any Chinese other then 'xiexie', 'nihao', and a couple other words. Japanese, on the other hand..."
Akane blinked. "So she's a Japanese Amazon?"
They were distracted from their discussion as WSJ pulled a pair of bonbori out of HammerSpace. She socked Joey with one, sending him into the wall for the second time that day. Yugi and Ryou 'eep'ed and let go. They didn't think WSJ would whack them, but in her present state they couldn't be sure.
WSJ was about to leap at Shampoo, who now had her bonbori out and was ready for combat. Then she seemed to get a better idea, and narrowed her eyes. She stalked over to Shampoo, and, before the Chinese could do anything, gave her the Kiss of Death.
Ranma and Akane groaned, and the others looked puzzled. "What?" Mai asked, scratching her head and voicing the opinions of all the others.
"The Kiss of Death," Akane said quietly. "It means that WSJ vows to kill Shampoo, or die trying."
"Wonderful," Malik sneered. "Why am I not surprised?"
Of course Mousse, in his half-blind state and standing pretty much on the other side of the room, saw only the vague form of someone leaning over to kiss his beloved Shampoo. 'It must be Ranma!' he thought to himself. 'That half-man is trying to take Shampoo for himself!'
It may be noted here that Mousse has a screwed sence of logic.
Then he heard Ranma whispering to Akane, right next to him.
'I take that back!' he thought reluctantly, and then gasped. 'It's that vile authoress! She's trying to make Shampoo go, that way!' Because, of course, even being an Amazon himself, he did not recognise the Kiss of Death.
Correction. Mousse has a very screwed sence of logic. And the Kami has a screwed sence of humor, but that was already easily established.
And so, as WSJ pulled away from giving the shocked Shampoo the Kiss of Death, she was just in time to see Mousse flying at her yelling something along the lines of "I will not have you tarnish Shampoo like that, you evil witch!"
Thankfully, WSJ seemed to have inherritated the martial arts skills of an Amazon as well. She snorted and ducked under the giant paper fan that Mousse had pulled out of his sleeves. "Baka duck-boy! Somebody get SJ cold water, hai?" She brought an elbow down on the back of Mousse's neck, sending him into the ground. It wasn't technically a martial arts move, more of a wrestling one, but hey, Anything Goes!
Seto brought in two glasses from the kitchen, one filled with hot water for WSJ, and one with cold. WSJ grabbed both glasses from her, tossing one over the moaning Chinese (reducing him into a quacking Chinese), and pouring the other one over herself.
Now that they were looking for it, everyone else could see the change. When WSJ got splashed, she got shorter, as Ranma did, and her hair turned a very dark blue, a little lighter then Ukyou's. Her eyes changed from grey to lavendar too.
The authoress shook water out of her eyes and looked around the livingroom. "Ugh, great, just what I need... I'm gonna go get changed. Ukyou? Would you do us all the honor of making okonomiyaki for supper?"
The chef bobbed her head 'yes', and an intrested Mai, Hotaru, and SW followed her toward the kitchen.
WSJ stomped off to her room, muttering about baka Amazons and stupid curses. She glanced at the hall clock as she passed it and froze. "Oh kami, no..." It was almost midnight. They had sleeping arrangements to make.
WSJ sighed and continued toward her room, now at a slightly more subdued pace. She pondered as she changed into dry clothes, and finally desided that she should just write out the arragements and make everyone else stick to them. She sat down as her desk with a sigh, chewing thoughtfully on the end of her pen.
After a wonderful supper in which Ukyou outdid herself and Shampoo helpfully supplied ramen, WSJ stood up and 'ahem'ed the table into silence. "As some of you are aware," she began, casting a significant look at Akane and Ryou, whom she'd finally had to call in to help her with the arrangements, "We will all have to sleep somewhere tonight, since we are still snowed in, and we will have to double up, triple up or quadruple up in some cases, in rooms,"
A lot of people had paled at this, and WSJ snickered quietly. She'd actually had fun with this. She picked up the peice of paper sitting next to her plate and carefully kept her face bland as she read from it.
"All yamis, and I mean all yamis, will be sleeping in their soulrooms. In my room I have me, Hotaru, Ukyou, Akane, and Mai. My little sister's room with house Rosie, Shampoo, Li, and SW. I've got Ranma, Joey, Seto, and Pegasus in my brother's room," she paused here until the outraged yells died down, and the snickers did too. "In my parents room, which I've arranged by gentlness, since I'll be killed if it gets trashed, are Ryou, Yugi, Konatsu, and Mokuba. Mousse, Ryoga, and Malik are in the livingroom."
With that, she sat back down.
And then she stood back up, very quickly, in outrage, when Joey casually tossed his glass of water on her. "Joey no baka!"
"Hey," Seto said mildly, for once in agreement. "It's your fault for putting me, him, and Pegasus in the same room."
Ranma shuddered. "Yeah, Pegasus makes even Konatsu look manly! Gomen Ko-chan,"
"None taken," Konatsu replied. "Because I think you're right."
Currently Pegasus was in the corner, giggling something about little pink ponies. Or it could have been little pink panties. One could never tell.
WSJ shuddered, forgetting her anger at being splashed and sitting back down, desided to stay in her cursed form so she could get used to the extra strength and horrible grammer she wasn't used to having. "Kuso! WSJ hope too too much that Flying-Horse Boy never meet Panty-Raid Man."
"Eep," Ranma eeped. "Don't mention him! With my luck he's likely to show up!"
"Who?" Akane asked, cocking her head. "Master Happo-" she was cut off as Ranma and Ryoga slapped their hands over her mouth. All was silent for a moment.
And then, echoing over the snow, and through the driving wind that was still blowing...
A faint cry of "Sweeto!"
Ranma began to bang his head against the wall repeatedly. Ryoga groaned. WSJ and Akane looked mildly annoyed. Ukyou reached for her spatula.
And Pegasus?
Pegasus grinned.
"Master!"
Ranma redoubled his efforts on getting his head to punch through the wall.
()()()()()
Ryoga: Will Happosai drive the women up the wall with his constant carresses? Will WSJ learn to handle her Amazon curse? What does this mean for Konatsu's love?
Bakura: And most importantly, will a certain authoress who shall remain unnamed ever turn the focus back to us poor, ignored YGO charas?
WSJ: *sweatdrop* WSJ hurt...
Chapter 8: Happosai shows up. And, after one look at Mai, he's in heaven. Of course, Joey's about to kill 'im! Everyone goes to bed, but it seems that WSJ's cat, Lance, who has been hiding all day, desides that Ranma's bed is a very comfortable place to sleep...
God bless minna-san!