Cobra Coup

"Just what I wanted the first thing in the morning," The Baroness grumbled as they entered Cobra Commander's meeting room. "A meeting with that cowled cuckoo that's in charge of Cobra. Probably going to try and humiliate us just before breakfast. It seems to be the only thing that gives him a good appetite."

"The debacle yesterday was not your fault Baroness," Destro said.

"No but that won't stop him from blaming me anyway!" She fumed. "Ever since the disaster at Bayville High he's done nothing but take every opportunity to drag me down. One of these days he's the one that's going to be dragged down!"

"I heartily agree with you my love," Destro nodded. "But remember, we need him. For now."

"Remind me why again?"

"For one thing, he's the one paying our salaries," Destro said.

"That's a good reason."

They entered the meeting room. Seated at the head of the table was Cobra Commander with Zartan at his left. Also in attendance were Dr. Mindbender and the Crimson Guard twins Xamot and Tomax. "Well it seems once again GI Joe has defeated us," Cobra Commander said sarcastically. "Surprise, surprise."

"Well it wasn't my idea to use the same tactic twice," Destro said. "That was your suggestion if I recall."

"Yes well we needed those mutant DNA samples!" Mindbender said. "True, we have an ample supply but my research needs…"

"Mindbender I am aware of your plans and I am most pleased at your resourcefulness," Cobra Commander interrupted. "Having several back up plans is a good idea. But I want you to continue on the main objective of having a mutant synthoid army ready for me. Therefore I am extending your time period to say, the end of next month."

"Y-Yes Cobra Commander," Mindbender said, grateful for the sudden change of mood. "Thank you sir! I will get back to work right away!" He got up to leave.

"Oh Mindbender," Cobra Commander said. "One more thing. I don't care what you do to the human subjects, but if you manage to capture any mutant subjects at all I want to be immediately notified before you do anything to them. Is that clear?"

"Of course," Mindbender asked. "May I ask why?"

"You may not," Cobra Commander snapped. "But if you must know I have developed a new interest in mutations. I'd like to personally oversee our 'new recruits' so that I can have a better understanding of them. I consider a hands on approach to be more...educational."

"As you wish Cobra Commander," Mindbender bowed. "We haven't found any suitable subjects yet, but as soon as we do I promise you that you will be the first to know!"

"Excellent," Cobra Commander waved. "You are dismissed."

"That's odd," The Baroness whispered to Destro.

"Yes," Destro agreed. "Cobra Commander is more interested in results rather than experiments. This new interest in mutants is very perplexing."

"Do you have something to say Destro?" Cobra Commander asked sharply.

"Only that I find it interesting that you have decided to broaden your horizons my dear Cobra Commander," Destro remarked.

"Yes well one must grow or stagnate," Cobra Commander said. "Zartan's Dreadnoks are a perfect example."

"For once I agree," Destro chuckled enjoying the agitated look on Zartan's face.

"Destro I'd like for you to personally oversee our weapons project overseas," Cobra Commander said. "As for you Baroness I would like you to take charge of Project Entwhistle."

"Project Entwhistle?" The Baroness gasped. "But that's merely a simple intelligence operation. No offense Commander but I think my talents can be put to better use than finding out the government's new and exciting ideas for making gasoline out of vegetables!"

"Considering the way you bungled your last operation you are lucky to be in charge of anything at all!" Cobra Commander hissed.

"That wasn't my fault!" Baroness snapped. "And I'm the one that got you those mutant DNA samples from the X-Men! Remember?"

"Yes which is why your head is still attached to your shoulders!" Cobra Commander pounded his fist on the table. "Now stop whining like a bored school girl and go!"

"As you wish," Destro held the Baroness back.

"If I need you for anything I'll send for you," Cobra Commander dismissed them. When they left he turned to the other members of Cobra's High Command. "Xamot, Tomax. You continue normal operations. If I need anything I'll let you know. You may go."

They looked at each other. "With all due respect Cobra Commander…" Xamot said.

"Who will help run things here at the main base…" Tomax continued.

"Now that Destro and the Baroness have been moved?" They both finished.

"I'm glad you asked that," Cobra Commander said. "I have decided to put Zartan in charge."

"Zartan!" Both twins gasped.

"But he's…" Tomax said.

"A mercenary!" Xamot finished.

"He's been a loyal Cobra operative for years," Cobra Commander said.

"Oh really?" Xamot raised an eyebrow.

"What about the time he stole a component from the weather dominator machine?" Tomax asked.

"And held it for ransom?" Xamot asked.

"I'd only just joined Cobra then," Zartan said.

"Then what about the time…" Tomax started.

"You blackmailed all of us into giving you a pay raise?" Xamot finished.

"Well that was a long time ago," Cobra Commander waved his hand.

"That was last week!" They both shouted.

"Look who's in charge of Cobra? You or me? I think I know what I'm doing," Cobra Commander snapped.

"That'll be a change," Xamot muttered under his breath.

"I heard that!" Cobra Commander snapped. "Now go. Not out that door! Out the back!"

"Why?" Xamot asked as they got up.

"Because I said so!" Cobra Commander snapped.

"He's in one of his moods again," Xamot muttered to his brother under his breath.

"Just do what he says and go along with it," Tomax shook his head. They left out the other door.

"That was close," Zartan sighed. "Destro and the Baroness are a dangerous combination. It was wise to separate them."

Cobra Commander nodded. "From what you told me it seemed like the logical thing to do."

"ALL RIGHT! WHO'S THE MORON WHO FORGOT TO TELL ME WE ARE HAVING A MEETING TODAY?" Another Cobra Commander walked in the first door. "WHAT THE…." He stared at the other Cobra Commander.

"Right on time," Zartan smiled.

"What's going on here?" Cobra Commander yelped.

"Nothing much," Zartan said going up to him. "You're being replaced."

"Replaced?" Cobra Commander snarled.

"Bingo," The First Cobra Commander morphed back into Mystique. She knocked him out with one swift kick.

A secret passage opened. Zarana, Torch, Buzzer and Ripper came out. "Cor," Ripper looked at Cobra Commander. "Looks like you did a good job on old Snake Breath!"

"Take him away," Mystique ordered. "Put him somewhere where he won't cause any trouble!"

"Don't worry," Zarana said. "We have a nice cell all ready for him back at the compound!" They took him through the secret passage.

"The final step," Zartan grinned, his eyes shining. "Cobra is ours."