Next up: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff! And silliness abounds. That's just the way this story's going so far. Enjoy the ride!

You Are Not A Ninja

Two days passed since the battle. Lance was starting to feel like he had been in the army all his life. Especially when it came to KP duty. "I swear I miss the days when Boom Boom used to blow up all the dishes," He sighed as they left the kitchen.

"Well at least we only have a few more days to go," Todd said. "It's not so bad."

"Yeah at least we get to eat!" Fred nodded. "I love all the stuff BA cooks!"

"You would," Althea said. "BA loves you ya know. You're the only person who's actually willing to try those horrible concoctions he makes!"

"Come on guys let's get the lead out!" Todd said. "I can't wait to go to ninja school!"

"It's not ninja school it's training," Lance said as they headed for the changing rooms. "We just learn martial arts." The boys and girls separated into the different changing rooms and started to change into their training clothes.

"Well maybe you just do," Todd said. "But as a ninja I take every class seriously!"

"Toad you're not a ninja," Lance said.

"Yes I am!"

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"No you are not!"

"I am too a ninja!" Todd protested hotly. "Well a ninja in training…but still a ninja!"

"Toad," Lance smirked. "What you are is a deluded little frog boy who is lost in his own world of make believe."

Todd's eyes grew strangely cold. "You have insulted my honor," He said in a strange voice. "You will soon feel the wrath of the ninja. You have been warned."

"Please," Lance waved as he turned away from him.

"Beware Lance!"

"Ooh! I'm shaking," Lance mocked. "What are you doing Pietro?"

"He's painting the ceiling again," Fred sighed. "You know one of these days they are gonna catch you. All they have to do is look up."

"They'll never know it was me," Pietro climbed back down from the top of the lockers.

"Oh I think they'll be able to figure it out," Lance groaned as he looked at the huge self-portrait of Pietro on the ceiling. "Some people I live with, a narcissistic nutcase and a ninja wanna be."

"I am a ninja!" Todd said hotly. "Spirit tell him I'm a ninja!"

"You still have a long way to go on the path to perfection," Spirit told him as he walked in.

"See!" Lance said.

"Yeah but I'm on the path so there!" Todd said. He left in a huff.

"Oh brother," Lance groaned.

"I'd be careful if I were you," Spirit told him. "Toad takes his training very seriously."

"Come on," Lance smirked. "This is Toad we're talking about. Trust me, I've known the little loon for a long time now. Nothing's going to happen."

"Hmmm," Spirit mused. "Come now, its time for your lesson."

Soon they were all practicing their fighting moves. Todd was still having trouble with his blindfold exercises. He was sparring with the Blind Master. "Ow!" Todd grumbled as he got hit for the third time.

"Hey Ninja Toad!" Lance laughed. "Having a bit of trouble?"

"Shut up Lance!" Todd said angrily. "At least I'm not a beginner like you are!"

"Beginner?" Lance said. "You've only been doing martial arts for half a year!"

"Yes but he has progressed very rapidly," The Blind Master said. "He has a natural talent for martial arts. Unlike yourself he actually pays attention to his lessons." He thwacked Todd lightly on the head with his Bo staff. "Well most of the time."

"I don't know if I can do this," Todd grumbled.

"You have to practice," The Blind Master told him. "You must learn to see by using your other senses. It will come in handy for you in the future."

"Yeah if Toad doesn't want to fall over the couch in the dark," Lance snickered.

"All right that's enough," The Blind Master told him. "Take a break everyone."

Spirit walked in. "How are they doing?"

"Getting better," The Blind Master said. "Slowly but surely."

"I'd like to speak to them if I may," Spirit asked.

"Of course," He nodded. He motioned for all of the students to gather around.

"What's up Spirit?" Pietro asked.

"I wish to make an announcement," He told them. "First I am pleased to see how your training is progressing. In a week or two all of you will be going off to train more at a remote location. While you are gone Shipwreck's house will be renovated so that it will be large enough to house not only you but any possible new recruits."

"New recruits?" Lance asked.

"General Hawk has convinced certain people that this is a feasible program to train mutants to use their powers for the good of the country," Spirit explained. "If it works, they will allow us to train others like you. It can be a great help to all mutants if there is a government sponsored program like this. Otherwise…"

"It's off to the lab," Lance finished with a growl. "Yeah we got ya. So we gotta be on good behavior."

"I know it will not be easy," Spirit said. "That is why I have faith in you. You must train hard."

"No sweat," Pietro waved. "We can do this. No problem."

"However," Spirit told them. "There will also be tests. Think of them as kind of like a pop quiz. Expect the unexpected. You may find yourselves practicing against each other sooner than you think, so be prepared."

"Well there's a happy bit of news," Lance sighed. "So what? We're a delinquent version of the X-Geeks?"

"More like a reform school," Fred grumbled.

"Hey!" Todd spoke up. "This ain't so bad! You rather somebody else be in charge of us?"

"He's got a point," Wanda sighed.

"It will not be easy," Spirit told them. "But I have faith in all of you. I know you can prove yourselves when the time comes."

They trained for a while longer before they cleaned up and changed. "Can you believe this?" Pietro groaned as they walked out of the locker room. "Now we gotta act like goody goody X-Nerds!"

"Come on," Lance said. "Let's go to class. I wonder who's going to be our teacher today?"

A few minutes later they found out. "Okay!" Bazooka waved to them. "I am Mr. Bazooka and I am going to be your teacher today!"

"Our former janitor?" Pietro asked. "Talk about your promotions."

"More like the blind leading the blind," Althea groaned.

"You mean the stupid leading the stupid," Wanda whispered in her ear.

"Okay today we are going to learn about other countries," Bazooka said cheerfully. "Anybody know anything about them?"

"Oh brother," Althea put her head into her hands.

"I know some of them are in Europe," Todd said.

"Well there's a vital piece of information," Althea said.

"I have a question!" Fred raised his hand. "Where did they get a name like Europe anyway?"

"Gee I dunno?" Bazooka scratched his head.

"I know!" Lance said. "It's from an old Greek story."

"Wow really?" Bazooka said. "Tell us!"

"This I gotta hear," Pietro said.

"Shhhh!" Todd shushed him. "I wanna hear this."

"You see there was this God called Zeus," Lance told them. "He was the king of all the gods and quite a hit with the ladies. Well one day he sees this babe walking along and he gets to liking her. Her name was Europa. He wanted to get in good with her so he turned himself into a bull so he could meet her."

"Why would he do that?" Todd asked.

"I dunno I guess she was into farm animals or something," Lance shrugged.

"Oh yeah I've seen that before," Fred said. "It happens more often than you think."

"Anyway to make a long story short she becomes his girlfriend," Lance said. "Well he decides to give her a huge chunk of land you know to make her happy. So he called it Europa after her to show her that it was hers. Centuries later they changed it to Europe. End of story."

"Wow," Bazooka said. "I did not know that."

"You're a regular encyclopedia Lance," Pietro quipped.

"We gotta get some regular teachers in here," Althea groaned.

************************************************************************

Later on in the day the boys found themselves at Shipwreck's house. "What are we doing here?" Lance asked.

"I am taking the girls for their first driving lesson," Shipwreck said.

"Can we come?" Pietro asked.

"No!" Shipwreck told him. "My nerves can only handle the girls for today."

"Speaking of girls where are the little maniacs?" Todd looked around.

"Relax kid," Shipwreck picked up Claudius from his playpen. "Cover Girl's giving them some kind of lesson. Either art or how to fix a tank engine, I forget which. That leaves you boys with only one thing to worry about." He handed Claudius to Lance.

"What?" Lance blinked. "But I…"

"No butts boys!" Shipwreck said. "Think of this as part of your training."

"You mean part of your scheme to get more babysitters," Althea said as she and Wanda came downstairs.

"That too," Shipwreck said. "Come on girls. Let's leave the boys alone." They took off in a hurry.

"Great," Lance sighed as he looked at Claudius. "Diaper duty."

"Don't worry about it," Todd said. "I've done this before. It's not so hard."

"Yeah well I've been watching all you morons for ages so how hard can it be to take care of a little kid?" Lance said. "Isn't that right, Little C?"

At this Claudius responded by bawling his eyes out. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" Pietro shouted.

"I didn't do anything!" Lance said in a panicked voice. "I swear!"

"You broke him!" Fred shouted.

"No you're holding him wrong genius!" Todd snapped as he took Claudius away from Lance. "Let me have him. That's right. It's okay. It's okay. There," Claudius settled down. "He doesn't know you yet. Plus you have to hold him close to your body so he doesn't get scared. It makes him feel safe and warm. You have to pat his back lightly and rock him a little. He loves that. See?"

"Wow Toad you're really good with him," Fred marveled.

"Yeah," Todd said. "Come on Little C, it's time that you got changed."

"So that's what that smell is," Pietro held his nose. "I thought it was you at first."

"Very funny," Todd said dryly. "I'll go change him. You three brain scientists stay here. I'll take care of this on my own." Todd went upstairs.

"Hey," Fred realized something. "We're on our own in the house with no adults."

"Sweet!" Pietro rubbed his hands together.

"Oh no," Lance groaned. "We're not going to trash Shipwreck's house!"

"Don't worry," Pietro told him. "We're not going to do anything but relax a little."

"Every time you say that an explosion happens," Lance folded his arms.

"Relax," Pietro said, zipping over to the fridge. "We're just gonna get some snacks and watch some TV. Hey it's our prerogative as baby sitters!"

"It's also traditional to eat snacks and chill out in front of the TV," Fred helped himself to some chips. "Well who are we to buck with tradition?"

"Why not?" Lance sighed. He grabbed some food and they all sat down in front of the TV. "What's on?"

"Infomercial, soap opera, infomercial…" Pietro flicked the channels at hyperspeed. "Spanish soap opera, game show with old people dressed in gaudy outfits, trashy talk show, trashy talk show…"

"Pietro remember the rule about changing the channels!" Lance snapped. "Do it at a speed we all can see!"

"Oh well then you take it!" Pietro gave him the remote.

"There's nothing good on," Lance grumbled.

"Yeah there's nothing interesting to see," Fred munched on some potato chips.

"I think you spoke too soon Freddy," Pietro pointed behind him.

They looked over and they saw a strange sight. Claudius was scuffling along the floor, wearing a tiny little ninja suit. He was masked, only his eyes were visible. Even his flippers were covered. "That's right Little C!" Todd said, scuttling behind him. "Keep going!"

"Toad what are you doing?" Lance moaned.

"Teaching Little C ninja stuff," Todd said. "You gotta teach them when they're young!"

"Toad I keep telling you that you are not a real ninja!" Lance groaned.

"I am too a ninja!" Todd snapped. "Why won't you believe me?"

"Do you want the short list or the long?" Pietro asked.

"Hey guys!" Fred called out. "Look who's on TV!"

"That's Kelly!" Lance blinked. "What's he doing?"

"He's running for the Senate," Pietro said. "I heard about it earlier. Three guesses what his platform is? He's pushing some Mutant Registration Bill."

"Gonna force all mutants to reveal themselves to the government!" Fred gasped. "They can't do that? Can they?"

"Well I guess we all know where we'll be getting our new recruits," Pietro said bitterly.

"Shut up Pietro!" Lance said hotly. "You can't believe that Hawk supports this garbage!"

"Yeah he ain't the type," Todd told him.

"Don't be so sure," Pietro growled.

"No," Lance shook his head. "I don't believe Hawk and the other Joes would support something like this. They could have just dumped all of us onto the government labs but they didn't!"

"Maybe this is his way of preparing if they do something like this?" Fred said. "So mutants will have a place to go or something."

"Of course they will!" Pietro snapped. "Face it, the army's gonna grab every mutant they can get in order to get their powers!"

"Maybe some people will," Todd said. "But I know General Hawk. He'd never allow that."

"I'm not so sure," Pietro grumbled.

"What tat?" Claudius pointed to the television.

"That's a moron Little C," Todd picked him up and looked at the image of Kelly on the screen. "Can you say that?"

"Mo-won," Claudius giggled.

"Very good," Todd beamed. "You are so smart!" He tickled Claudius. "Yes you are!"

"He is a cute little guy isn't he?" Fred grinned. "Who could hate a little guy like that? If anything happens to him…I mean he's so little. Magneto was bad enough."

"He's just a baby," Pietro looked sad. "He doesn't understand stuff like this. He shouldn't have to."

"Will you guys quit acting like you're at a funeral or something?" Todd snapped. "It ain't gonna happen. I remember a couple of days ago they were teaching us about that Homeland Security Act they tried to pass after 9-1-1? They couldn't even get that passed cause too many people complained about civil liberties and stuff. So relax!"

"Some reason Toad I don't share your optimism," Pietro grumbled.

"I wouldn't have it if it wasn't for the Joes," Todd said. "If I didn't ever meet 'em I'd…I dunno. Be a terrorist or something and try to assassinate guys like Kelly. I dunno."

"I don't wanna talk about this any more!" Fred grabbed the remote and shut off the TV. "I'm too depressed and I feel really uncomfortable."

"Well that's no reason to shut off the TV!" Pietro snapped. "Just change the channel dummy!" He threw some popcorn at him.

"Don't call me a dummy, Dummy!" Fred threw some chips at him.

"Don't throw stuff all over the place yo!" Todd shouted. He thwacked Fred with a pillow. "You're supposed to be setting an example for the baby!"

At this both Fred and Pietro hit him with pillows. "All right now this is war!" Todd growled. "CHARGE!"

Soon all the boys were engaged in a raucous pillow fight. Feathers were flying all over the place. Claudius had a ball running around in the feathers. "Take this!" Todd thumped Lance in the back of the head with a pillow. "Admit I am a ninja!"

"No way!" Lance threw a pillow at him. Todd dodged it. It hit someone else. Lance cringed when he saw the angry face of Low Light staring at him.

"What is going on here?" Low Light shouted. Lifeline was with him.

"Uh…" Todd gulped. "Would you believe we were having a debate?"

"The way you guys do it yes," Low Light growled. "I can't believe you guys are acting this immature! What are…" Immediately he was hit on the head with a pillow. "LIFELINE!"

"Technically pillow fighting isn't considered violence," Lifeline grinned.

"It is if you do it right!" Low Light grabbed a pillow.

"Gotta catch me first!" Lifeline laughed as he grabbed a pillow and started to run away.

"GET HIM!" Low Light ordered. Soon the pillow melee began again. It continued until dinnertime. Shipwreck came back from the driving lesson claiming he was scarred for life. The kids ate dinner together and cleaned up. Soon it was time to go back to their homes.

Lance got ready for bed, but he still felt he could not sleep. He needed to talk to Spirit. "Spirit I gotta ask you," Lance said hesitantly. "Are the Joes in on this Mutant Registration thing? I need to know."

"No," Spirit said. "But there are a lot of figures in the army who are. Hawk's preparing for the worst, although I hope it never has to be. At the very least this program may be some refuge. There are a lot worse things that could happen to mutants if this bill passes."

"I don't want to think about that," Lance sighed.

"Do not give up hope young one," Spirit put his hand on his shoulder. "There is light as well as darkness. There are those in Congress and the Senate who are against this bill. Many figures in the military do not wish to see this come about as well."

"Why?" Lance asked. "I mean aren't mutants seen as some kind of source for weapons or something?"

"True," Spirit told him. "But many of us believe in protecting America and all that it stands for. Not just freedom for a certain group of people. We do not want to repeat the mistakes of the past. It would be much more beneficial in the long run if mutants chose to enlist of their own free will. You remember learning about the draft for Vietnam and how violently the country reacted? Well many of our generals are smart enough to see that if that happens for mutants the effects will be ten times worse. Not every soldier or military figure sees mutants as a threat. Some of us do see mutants as people. Granted not as many as there should be, but this program is a chance to change that."

"How?" Lance asked.

"By showing that mutants and humans are willing to work together for a common goal," Spirit told him.

"Well some of you anyway," Lance sighed.

"I understand that it's hard to comprehend," Spirit said. "That is why you are here. To show you by our actions that we humans are not your enemy. We don't have to be."

"You know you guys are the first people to ever reach out like this to us," Lance sighed. "I guess that alone is worth it to see where this goes."

"Good," Spirit patted him on the back. "Now go to sleep young one. You have a lot of work to do in the morning."

"Yes sir," Lance nodded. He went into his room. Lance sighed as he went to bed. It had been a long day. He flopped on his bed and rolled over on his back.

That's when he saw Todd dressed all in black hanging from the ceiling. "Beware the wrath of the ninja!" He said before he dropped on him. "BANZAI!"