A/N: Someone requested I continue this. (Thanks addicted! And thanks for
the review gratefuldeadfullyalive!) I figure, what the hell. It's not like
I've got anything better to do. Someone else said they were a bit concerned
for my sanity. (Thanks for the review and concern, Celebrindal!) I must say
to this person: There is no reason to be concerned for my sanity. The
explanation is this: I have none. That's right, I am completely insane. How
else do you think I come up with this shit? Anyway, here goes.
Sauron reached Mordor, ran up to his tower, shut the door and put on every lock he could find. After that, he barricaded the room with every piece of furniture within reach. Then he breathed a sigh of relief and sank down to the floor against the wall. That crazy bitch wasn't getting him in here!
Meanwhile, 'that crazy bitch', a.k.a. Eowyn, was hanging around, watching Aragorn, attempting to be inconspicuous and not draw attention to herself. However, Eowyn didn't get the same thrill watching him that she used to. She wondered why, and her mind conjured up a vision of Sauron. You know, he was hot. Literally. And not really that bad looking. He'd seemed genuinely afraid of her, and that meant there was hope for his returning to the good side. She decided to go see if there was.
A few days later. . .
"Milord, someone here to see you," a servant-Orc said.
"Send them in," said Sauron.
Eowyn entered. "Sauron, I love you! I had this revelation and I just knew it was right!"
Sauron stared. Then he stood, looked at her for a moment, and ran screaming back up to the tower. Stricken, depressed, and rejected yet again, Eowyn rode back to Minas Tirith.
Aragorn of course noticed Eowyn's depressed state, so he asked her about it.
"I have no luck with men," she said.
"Who this time?" he inquired.
"No. You'll hate me."
"No, I won't!"
"Fine. Sauron."
"Okay. You want revenge?"
"Yeah. . ."
"Here's what we're gonna do." He whispered into her ear and she gave a delighted smile.
During the battle with Sauron, Eowyn put Aragorn's plan into action. She pulled on a helmet, grabbed a sword, and took out all the Nazgul she could find. Then she took a horse and went in search of Sauron himself.
Sauron was watching the battle with growing horror. Seven of his Nazgul had been slaughtered by that warrior. Then he saw that warrior walking towards him. The warrior swung his sword and Sauron was completely disabled.
"If I may offer some advice," the warrior said, taking off his helmet, revealing Eowyn, "NEVER turn down a girl who can kick your ass!" And with that,s he took off his head at the, coincidentally, very same instant that Gollum and the Ring went down into Mount Doom.
Later, Eowyn felt a small piece of satisfaction. There was a hot guy flirting with her, and she'd taken revenge on one of the guys who had spurned her. At least Aragorn had had good reason. . .Now. To concentrate on Faramir. . .
Sauron reached Mordor, ran up to his tower, shut the door and put on every lock he could find. After that, he barricaded the room with every piece of furniture within reach. Then he breathed a sigh of relief and sank down to the floor against the wall. That crazy bitch wasn't getting him in here!
Meanwhile, 'that crazy bitch', a.k.a. Eowyn, was hanging around, watching Aragorn, attempting to be inconspicuous and not draw attention to herself. However, Eowyn didn't get the same thrill watching him that she used to. She wondered why, and her mind conjured up a vision of Sauron. You know, he was hot. Literally. And not really that bad looking. He'd seemed genuinely afraid of her, and that meant there was hope for his returning to the good side. She decided to go see if there was.
A few days later. . .
"Milord, someone here to see you," a servant-Orc said.
"Send them in," said Sauron.
Eowyn entered. "Sauron, I love you! I had this revelation and I just knew it was right!"
Sauron stared. Then he stood, looked at her for a moment, and ran screaming back up to the tower. Stricken, depressed, and rejected yet again, Eowyn rode back to Minas Tirith.
Aragorn of course noticed Eowyn's depressed state, so he asked her about it.
"I have no luck with men," she said.
"Who this time?" he inquired.
"No. You'll hate me."
"No, I won't!"
"Fine. Sauron."
"Okay. You want revenge?"
"Yeah. . ."
"Here's what we're gonna do." He whispered into her ear and she gave a delighted smile.
During the battle with Sauron, Eowyn put Aragorn's plan into action. She pulled on a helmet, grabbed a sword, and took out all the Nazgul she could find. Then she took a horse and went in search of Sauron himself.
Sauron was watching the battle with growing horror. Seven of his Nazgul had been slaughtered by that warrior. Then he saw that warrior walking towards him. The warrior swung his sword and Sauron was completely disabled.
"If I may offer some advice," the warrior said, taking off his helmet, revealing Eowyn, "NEVER turn down a girl who can kick your ass!" And with that,s he took off his head at the, coincidentally, very same instant that Gollum and the Ring went down into Mount Doom.
Later, Eowyn felt a small piece of satisfaction. There was a hot guy flirting with her, and she'd taken revenge on one of the guys who had spurned her. At least Aragorn had had good reason. . .Now. To concentrate on Faramir. . .