A/N: Okay, one of my reviewers said I did the ending wrong, but I like it,
so I'm not changing it. What I will do though, is post this alternate
ending and you can pick whichever you like.
Sauron reached Mordor, ran up to his tower, shut the door and put on every lock he could find. After that, he barricaded the room with every piece of furniture within reach. Then he breathed a sigh of relief and sank down to the floor against the wall. That crazy bitch wasn't getting him in here!
Meanwhile, 'that crazy bitch', a.k.a. Eowyn, was hanging around, watching Aragorn, attempting to be inconspicuous and not draw attention to herself. However, Eowyn didn't get the same thrill watching him that she used to. She wondered why, and her mind conjured up a vision of Sauron. You know, he was hot. Literally. And not really that bad looking. He'd seemed genuinely afraid of her, and that meant there was hope for his returning to the good side. She decided to go see if there was.
A few days later. . .
"Milord, someone to see you. A looker, if I may, sire."
"Okay, send her in," Sauron replied, bracing himself for the onslaught he knew was coming.
However, when Eowyn entered, she seemed sort of. . .strained. Exhausted, like she was fighting something. He looked at her, intrigued. He knew what that felt like.
"Sauron," she said slowly. "There's no easy way to say this to anyone, but here goes. From the moment I saw you in the Lorien Café, I knew that there was something for me. I love you!" she said breaking down into tears.
(A/N: This is where it's gonna get weird, especially for Sauron.)
Sauron was touched by this display of affection. No one had ever loved him before. Even in school, when he'd approached women they'd only laughed. "Eowyn," he stated, "fear not, fair maiden, for I return thy affections! I have only just realized it, it hath come to me as a revelation, but I love thee!" (A/N: Someone wanna tell me where I came up with that?)
Eowyn looked up, her eyes still shining with tears. "Really?"
"Really really," Sauron assured her. Eowyn smiled in relief, and the new couple embraced joyfully.
Meanwhile. . .
The Evil White Wizard who is SO not as cool as Gandalf, a.k.a. Saruman, was watching this is his glass ball thingy with growing rage. When they embraced, he screamed in fury. "HE WAS MINE!!!!"
Suddenly, Gandalf the White appeared in his study thing. "HA! I knew it!!!"
Saruman turned red. Now it was complete. First the thing with the Ents, now this!
Later on. . .
The war stopped quite abruptly. No one knew why until they heard that Eowyn and Sauron were to marry. Aragorn, when he heard the joyous news, cocked his head and smiled. At least she'd found someone. . .
Elven healing skills, courtesy of Elrond of Rivendell, rid Sauron of his nasty burn marks and scars. As it turned out, he was this really, really hot guy (a la Orlando Bloom w/o the Elf stuff, or Josh Hartnett in The Faculty) who was really nice. They married, had three great kids, and lived happily ever after. By the way, Aragorn and Arwen married!!!!!!! YAY!!!! Sorry, but if I can't have him, she's the next best thing, even though she STOLE GLORFINDEL'S PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sauron reached Mordor, ran up to his tower, shut the door and put on every lock he could find. After that, he barricaded the room with every piece of furniture within reach. Then he breathed a sigh of relief and sank down to the floor against the wall. That crazy bitch wasn't getting him in here!
Meanwhile, 'that crazy bitch', a.k.a. Eowyn, was hanging around, watching Aragorn, attempting to be inconspicuous and not draw attention to herself. However, Eowyn didn't get the same thrill watching him that she used to. She wondered why, and her mind conjured up a vision of Sauron. You know, he was hot. Literally. And not really that bad looking. He'd seemed genuinely afraid of her, and that meant there was hope for his returning to the good side. She decided to go see if there was.
A few days later. . .
"Milord, someone to see you. A looker, if I may, sire."
"Okay, send her in," Sauron replied, bracing himself for the onslaught he knew was coming.
However, when Eowyn entered, she seemed sort of. . .strained. Exhausted, like she was fighting something. He looked at her, intrigued. He knew what that felt like.
"Sauron," she said slowly. "There's no easy way to say this to anyone, but here goes. From the moment I saw you in the Lorien Café, I knew that there was something for me. I love you!" she said breaking down into tears.
(A/N: This is where it's gonna get weird, especially for Sauron.)
Sauron was touched by this display of affection. No one had ever loved him before. Even in school, when he'd approached women they'd only laughed. "Eowyn," he stated, "fear not, fair maiden, for I return thy affections! I have only just realized it, it hath come to me as a revelation, but I love thee!" (A/N: Someone wanna tell me where I came up with that?)
Eowyn looked up, her eyes still shining with tears. "Really?"
"Really really," Sauron assured her. Eowyn smiled in relief, and the new couple embraced joyfully.
Meanwhile. . .
The Evil White Wizard who is SO not as cool as Gandalf, a.k.a. Saruman, was watching this is his glass ball thingy with growing rage. When they embraced, he screamed in fury. "HE WAS MINE!!!!"
Suddenly, Gandalf the White appeared in his study thing. "HA! I knew it!!!"
Saruman turned red. Now it was complete. First the thing with the Ents, now this!
Later on. . .
The war stopped quite abruptly. No one knew why until they heard that Eowyn and Sauron were to marry. Aragorn, when he heard the joyous news, cocked his head and smiled. At least she'd found someone. . .
Elven healing skills, courtesy of Elrond of Rivendell, rid Sauron of his nasty burn marks and scars. As it turned out, he was this really, really hot guy (a la Orlando Bloom w/o the Elf stuff, or Josh Hartnett in The Faculty) who was really nice. They married, had three great kids, and lived happily ever after. By the way, Aragorn and Arwen married!!!!!!! YAY!!!! Sorry, but if I can't have him, she's the next best thing, even though she STOLE GLORFINDEL'S PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!