The Gathering of the Not So Faithful
"Wonderful," Xamot muttered. "Here we are in some god forsaken bar…"
"In New Jersey nonetheless," Tomax muttered. Both were wearing identical blue turtlenecks and jeans in order to blend in with their surroundings better.
"I am not exactly thrilled with this either," The Baroness snapped. She had on a simple red dress and an overcoat. "But the message from Mindbender said that we needed secrecy. And no one would suspect us meeting in a dump like this," She pointed to the drunks passed out at the bar.
Mindbender came in wearing a white coat with Copperhead. "About time you got here," Xamot told him.
"Yes what is this meeting all about?" Tomax asked.
"I was going to ask you the same question," Mindbender looked annoyed. "I didn't call this meeting. Copperhead said all of you called me."
"Well that's what I was told," Copperhead said.
"By whom?" Baroness hissed. "Definitely not me!"
"Us neither," The twins spoke as one.
"Copperhead was this your idea?" Mindbender asked.
"No," Copperhead shook his head.
"I don't believe this!" Mindbender snapped. "If you didn't then who did?"
"I did," Destro appeared before them. He was wearing a large trench coat and a fedora to cover his features. He sat down. "I apologize for the subterfuge but circumstances forced me into it. I'm afraid there is something seriously wrong in Cobra. And it's up to us to find out what."
"What isn't wrong with Cobra?" Baroness smirked. "But seriously what is it Destro? Last I heard you turned traitor."
"Please," Destro waved. "I am a full partner in Cobra. Why would I betray it? It's the other way around. I've been betrayed by Cobra Commander and his little Miss Frost."
"For some reason that doesn't surprise me," Mindbender grumbled.
"Who is this Ms. Frost?" Baroness asked in an icy tone.
"One of the Commander's new associates," Destro said. "She's also a telepath."
"Yes she's developing a laser cannon to help Cobra conquer the world," Mindbender told her.
"No she isn't," Destro snapped. "The real goal of the machine is to increase sunspot radiation to such a frequency that it will provide an increase in mutant births!"
"What?" They all gasped.
"It also shortens the lives of normal humans," Destro told them. "Fortunately I removed a few key components of the device so it will not work without those specific pieces."
"So what are you going to do?" Copperhead asked. "Ask for a ransom or something?"
"Are you crazy?" Baroness snapped. "Why would he do that? Don't you realize that device would destroy humankind?"
"Well it ain't like we haven't done that before," Copperhead remarked. "Remember our little excursion in Cobra-La?"
"That was different," Mindbender told him. "Members of Cobra were excluded from those plans to be mutated into mindless beasts and allowed to rule the world. It sounds like this is a mutants-only party. And something tells me we are not invited."
"Oh yeah," Copperhead sighed. "Is it just me or does Cobra Commander seem to be on a mutant kick lately?"
"I know," Mindbender grumbled.
"That must be…" Xamot started.
"Difficult for you Mindbender," Tomax finished.
"Let's just say I haven't been sleeping at home lately," Mindbender groaned.
"But why is Cobra Commander all of the sudden pro-mutant?" Destro asked. "It doesn't make sense. He despises humans as it is."
"Maybe that's why the Dreadnoks are all running around like they own the place?" Copperhead attempted a joke.
"What? Those morons are helping run Cobra?" The Baroness gasped. "I don't believe it! Even the Commander isn't that stupid! They must be blackmailing him or something!"
"No wonder Cobra is falling apart!" Destro growled. "I've intercepted some communications telling me what's been going on, or more importantly what's not going on! I can't believe it! He's never allowed Cobra to sink this low before. Even when we went bankrupt he always had a plan or two!"
"Something is very wrong here," Mindbender frowned. "Especially since that Sabertooth arrived."
"Sabertooth?" The Baroness asked.
"Do you know him?" Mindbender asked.
"I know of him," She said. "He's one of Magneto's henchmen. Works with Mystique, the…shapeshifter…." Realization flickered in her eyes.
Immediately the minds of the senior staff began to click. "Didn't you once tell me that you had found out Zartan had a brief relationship with this Mystique?" Destro asked.
"Yes," The Baroness' eyes narrowed. "I believe I did."
"Perhaps this relationship…" Xamot started to say.
"Has become more of a business proposal?" Tomax finished.
"What?" Copperhead looked around. "What's going on? What do mutants have to do with how weird Cobra Commander's been acting lately?"
"You idiot!" Mindbender snapped. "That's not the real Cobra Commander! Zartan and Mystique must have kidnapped him and are impersonating him! They're the ones running Cobra now!"
"This explains everything!" Destro snapped. "The haphazard plans. The alliance with Emma Frost and her plot to create more mutants!"
"Zartan wearing lingerie and handcuffs," Copperhead put in. They all looked at him. "I once walked in where I shouldn't have. Don't ask."
"It was perfect," Destro remarked. "They even split us up and made us run around in circles on pointless errands just so we wouldn't catch on!"
"But then if that's Mystique…" Copperhead reasoned. "Where's the real Cobra Commander?"
"A very good question," Destro's eyes narrowed. "And I think I know where I can find the answer."
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The following day Destro, the Baroness and the Twins were in a darkened room. "Do you really think this will work?" The Baroness asked.
"Please," Destro waved. "This is a Dreadnok we're talking about. It will be easy to get the information we want."
Mindbender came in with two assistants dragging Torch. "Piece of cake," He told them. "Told you all I had to do was drug a jelly doughnut."
"What did you tell the other Dreadnoks?" Baroness asked.
"Didn't have to," Mindbender told them. "They all went off on a mission just as I drugged Torch. My assistant told them he got drunk and needed to sleep it off. Surprise, they fell for it."
They sat Torch in a chair near a wooden table. He started to stir. "He's waking up," Mindbender said.
"Hey?" Torch looked around in a fuzzy daze. "What the bleeding hell is going on here? Destro? Why you…" He was held in place by the Twins. "Get your bloody hands off me you freaks!"
"Look who's talking," They both replied calmly.
"Listen Torch," The Baroness spoke. "We know that Zartan and Mystique have replaced Cobra Commander. We want to know where he is and how long this has been going on. And we want the answers now!"
"I ain't telling you nothin'!" Torch snapped.
"I wouldn't be…" Xamot started to say.
"Too sure of that if I were you," Tomax finished.
"We have ways of making Dreadnoks talk," Destro told him. He opened his suitcase and made sure Torch had a good look at the thousands of dollar bills inside.
"All right," Torch blinked. "What do you want to know?"