Last Dance
Author: Yeah, me, chimaera, the chick who can't write anything but J/I on a good day.
Summery: Irina muses over the events that lead her to her last week as Laura Bristow.
Author's Notes: My damn muse hit me with this at three AM...scary. Reviews are what keep me writing- even if they offer not praise, but gentle criticism. So if you want to see more outta me, post something. He he. Honestly, guys, I get all warm and fuzzy knowing someone read something I wrote.
This thing gave me the hardest time. At first, I thought, "Hmmm, I'll make it brief," but then it blew up into me having to add in bits of her past too. Oh well, don't think it'd be the same without.....
Chapter One
Irina's POV
"Ninety-eight...ninety-nine...one hundred."
Sweat pours down my face as I sit up, tucking my hair behind my ear neatly. It's funny that I keep up my exercising regimen as best as possible despite the fact I won't be able to use any good that comes out of it for a long while.
But concentrating on simpler things keeps me from thinking about the past. What I've done...who I've killed...who I've hurt.
It keeps me from thinking about the man who loves my daughter, and how I took away his father.
It keeps me from thinking about the way Jack looks at me every time he enters this room.
It keeps me from thinking about the way my daughter's eyes light up when she calls me "Mom."
I'm not worthy of that title. Far from it. Her mother would have been there for her first day of the second grade. Her mother would have stuck around for her first crush. Her mother would have tucked flowers into her hair on her prom day, have cried at her high school graduation, and would have helped her pack for college. She would have seen the day her daughter got engaged to Danny, would have comforted her when he died.
So no, I'm not her mother.
But most of all, keeping myself preoccupied makes it harder to think about my secret. It's one no other person can actually admit they know the full extent of. Of course, my KGB superiors suspected they knew what was in my heart, and I'm sure Jack thinks the same.
I don't know when I'll tell them. Perhaps it'll be today, maybe five years from now. What I have to say goes beyond intel for the CIA or a discussion on where my loyalties lie. My secret is a story of two women and how the life of one changed another.
***
"Irina, what you're saying is completely and utterly mad."
Two raven-haired women walked down a dark hallway, one with a pack over her shoulder, the other empty handed.
"Are you saying you intend to give up everything you have here to work for the KGB? That's unthinkable!"
The taller of the two, Irina, the one with nothing to carry, stopped and rolled her eyes. "It's not giving up everything, it's perfectly honorable. I'll be serving my country and the memory of Stalin."
"But you've worked so hard to go to the university, and you're saying you don't plan on going ever, now? How is working for Russia better?"
"Because, I'll be working for the good of all of us," Irina snapped. "What good is going to the university when I could go and show everyone how strong I am?"
Irina's sister, Anya, grimaced. "I...I just think this is wrong."
"You think it's wrong," Irina mimicked. "Well, you would. You don't see what I do. I'll prove you wrong...I'll prove how powerful I can become."
*** And how powerful was that, I thought silently. Amazing how naive I was at just eighteen. Ready to prove to the world I could become more than the average woman.
And amazing how I never thought of where my life could take me. At eighteen, I'd never have dreamed of sitting here in this cell, regretting a good number of the choices I'd made.
Funny how the most life-changing mission I chose to take, however boring it may have seemed, I never regretted.
*** "The agent you'll be getting to know on a....personal...level is Jack Bristow. Graduated at the top of his class in high school and is at the top in college, and a renowned agent of the CIA. He's beginning research on a new project, involving children, and we want to know everything about it." The man droned on and on about the mission, all the while noticing how Irina yawned and sighed throughout the entire debriefing. He finally paused.
"You do realize, Agent Derevko, how important this mission is. We haven't beaten them since Sputnik- learning what they're developing will aid us in regaining our power."
"Yes, I understand. Seems such a waste, though, to waste my skills in other areas by putting me into a relationship with a boring man who cares for nothing but his work," Irina intoned.
"This will not be your only work in America, Agent Derevko. You'll hear from us often. And, believe me when I say your skills will not by far go to waste..."
*** A boring man who cares nothing for his work, I called him. Little did I know how passionate Jack Bristow could be, how open and enthusiastic. And it didn't take me long to enjoy what time I spent with him.
AN: I think I'm going to stop it here to drive you guys insane...or to give you a chance to run out screaming, shouting, "WHY ME?!" Let me know if you want more.....
Author: Yeah, me, chimaera, the chick who can't write anything but J/I on a good day.
Summery: Irina muses over the events that lead her to her last week as Laura Bristow.
Author's Notes: My damn muse hit me with this at three AM...scary. Reviews are what keep me writing- even if they offer not praise, but gentle criticism. So if you want to see more outta me, post something. He he. Honestly, guys, I get all warm and fuzzy knowing someone read something I wrote.
This thing gave me the hardest time. At first, I thought, "Hmmm, I'll make it brief," but then it blew up into me having to add in bits of her past too. Oh well, don't think it'd be the same without.....
Chapter One
Irina's POV
"Ninety-eight...ninety-nine...one hundred."
Sweat pours down my face as I sit up, tucking my hair behind my ear neatly. It's funny that I keep up my exercising regimen as best as possible despite the fact I won't be able to use any good that comes out of it for a long while.
But concentrating on simpler things keeps me from thinking about the past. What I've done...who I've killed...who I've hurt.
It keeps me from thinking about the man who loves my daughter, and how I took away his father.
It keeps me from thinking about the way Jack looks at me every time he enters this room.
It keeps me from thinking about the way my daughter's eyes light up when she calls me "Mom."
I'm not worthy of that title. Far from it. Her mother would have been there for her first day of the second grade. Her mother would have stuck around for her first crush. Her mother would have tucked flowers into her hair on her prom day, have cried at her high school graduation, and would have helped her pack for college. She would have seen the day her daughter got engaged to Danny, would have comforted her when he died.
So no, I'm not her mother.
But most of all, keeping myself preoccupied makes it harder to think about my secret. It's one no other person can actually admit they know the full extent of. Of course, my KGB superiors suspected they knew what was in my heart, and I'm sure Jack thinks the same.
I don't know when I'll tell them. Perhaps it'll be today, maybe five years from now. What I have to say goes beyond intel for the CIA or a discussion on where my loyalties lie. My secret is a story of two women and how the life of one changed another.
***
"Irina, what you're saying is completely and utterly mad."
Two raven-haired women walked down a dark hallway, one with a pack over her shoulder, the other empty handed.
"Are you saying you intend to give up everything you have here to work for the KGB? That's unthinkable!"
The taller of the two, Irina, the one with nothing to carry, stopped and rolled her eyes. "It's not giving up everything, it's perfectly honorable. I'll be serving my country and the memory of Stalin."
"But you've worked so hard to go to the university, and you're saying you don't plan on going ever, now? How is working for Russia better?"
"Because, I'll be working for the good of all of us," Irina snapped. "What good is going to the university when I could go and show everyone how strong I am?"
Irina's sister, Anya, grimaced. "I...I just think this is wrong."
"You think it's wrong," Irina mimicked. "Well, you would. You don't see what I do. I'll prove you wrong...I'll prove how powerful I can become."
*** And how powerful was that, I thought silently. Amazing how naive I was at just eighteen. Ready to prove to the world I could become more than the average woman.
And amazing how I never thought of where my life could take me. At eighteen, I'd never have dreamed of sitting here in this cell, regretting a good number of the choices I'd made.
Funny how the most life-changing mission I chose to take, however boring it may have seemed, I never regretted.
*** "The agent you'll be getting to know on a....personal...level is Jack Bristow. Graduated at the top of his class in high school and is at the top in college, and a renowned agent of the CIA. He's beginning research on a new project, involving children, and we want to know everything about it." The man droned on and on about the mission, all the while noticing how Irina yawned and sighed throughout the entire debriefing. He finally paused.
"You do realize, Agent Derevko, how important this mission is. We haven't beaten them since Sputnik- learning what they're developing will aid us in regaining our power."
"Yes, I understand. Seems such a waste, though, to waste my skills in other areas by putting me into a relationship with a boring man who cares for nothing but his work," Irina intoned.
"This will not be your only work in America, Agent Derevko. You'll hear from us often. And, believe me when I say your skills will not by far go to waste..."
*** A boring man who cares nothing for his work, I called him. Little did I know how passionate Jack Bristow could be, how open and enthusiastic. And it didn't take me long to enjoy what time I spent with him.
AN: I think I'm going to stop it here to drive you guys insane...or to give you a chance to run out screaming, shouting, "WHY ME?!" Let me know if you want more.....