Escape From the Dreadnok Lair

Pietro stared at the figure in the nearby cell. "Who the heck is this guy?"

"That's Cobra Commander," Althea told him. "The head snake himself. But what's he doing here? Wherever this is."

"We're in the Dreadnoks' Lair you stupid girl," Cobra Commander snapped.

"I'm stupid? Then how did you end up here Snake Face?" Althea snapped.

"It's that traitor Zartan's fault!" He hissed. "He and this…woman kidnapped me! Kept me down here for I don't know how long! Do you know how boring it is having nothing but jelly doughnuts for breakfast every day? If I never see another jelly doughnut or drink grape soda again…"

"Wait a minute," Althea interrupted him. "You mean all this time someone else has been leading Cobra?"

"Ye-es!" Cobra Commander said sarcastically.

Just then Ripper and Monkeywrench appeared. "Well, well, well," Ripper snickered. "Nice to see you all getting acquainted."

"Yeah Mermaid," Monkeywrench smiled. "I can't wait to see the look on Zanya's face when she finds out we've captured you! I'm sure the two of you have a lot to talk about!"

"I'll bet," Althea hissed. "So why are we here?"

"Yeah why are they here? Why did Mystique want to capture them anyway?" Ripper asked.

"Mystique?" Pietro yelped. "What does she have to do with it?"

"She's running Cobra with…YEOW!" Ripper howled in agony as the other Dreadnok hit him.

"Don't tell them our secrets you twit!" Monkeywrench snarled.

"So Mystique and Zartan are running Cobra now?" Althea raised an eyebrow. "And the Dreadnoks are in charge. So that's why Cobra's been having so much trouble."

"What?" Cobra Commander snapped.

"Yeah, it seems that Cobra's been having trouble keeping together," Althea told him. "Heard about it from some of the Joes."

"What are you fools doing with my organization?" Cobra Commander snapped. "With you idiots in charge, I'm surprised there is a Cobra left!"

"Yeah you really botched up that attempted takeover of Trask's army!" Pietro taunted.

"We were supposed to be giving them back up!" Monkeywrench snapped. "But Trask then threw a hissy fit about working with Cobras! I mean we were only there because Bragg said he needed help!"

Then Ripper hit him. "Now who's the twit blabbing all the secrets?"

"Nice going you moron," Cobra Commander snapped. "Why don't you tell them about our secret alliance with Bragg while you're at it? Oops."

"Well it don't matter anyway," Monkeywrench said. "Cause you ain't going nowhere!"

"Oh really?" Althea glared at him through the cell door.

"Yeah!" He grinned as he got close to the cell door.

"Wanna bet?" Althea snarled. Suddenly the cell door opened with a bang, trapping Monkeywrench on the other side. Before Ripper could react Pietro sped out and knocked him down.

"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" Cobra Commander gasped.

"I always carry a little lock pick in case of emergencies," Althea held a small device up. "It comes in very handy and it's small enough to hide it anywhere. It's a device no ninja should be without."

"You guys should really learn to disarm your prisoners better," Pietro snickered.

"Come on," Althea said. "Let's go!"

"What about him?" Pietro pointed.

"He stays here!" Althea snapped.

"What?" Cobra Commander snapped.

"We can't take him to the Joes, too risky!" Althea told Pietro. "We'll have to lock him up in the stockade another day." That's when the alarm went off.

"It's gotta be the other Dreadnoks!" Pietro said.

"As much as I'd love to clean Zanya's clock we have to get back to the others," Althea said. "Tell them what's going on!"

"Get on my back!" Pietro motioned. "It's gonna be a wild ride!"

Althea jumped on. "Sheesh! How much do you weigh anyway?" Pietro groaned.

"Watch it Speed Boy!" Althea snapped. "Get us out of here and back to Maine! Now!"

Pietro sped off like a rocket. "WAIT FOR ME!" Cobra Commander hissed. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE! TAKE ME WITH YOU! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! YOU'LL PAY FOR NOT TAKING ME TO GI JOE!"

Then he stopped. "Oh wait, maybe that's not such a good idea."

"Ow…" Monkeywrench slid out from behind the door. "That hurt."

"They got away!" Ripper came to.

"Yeah but we still got him!" Monkeywrench said. He saw Torch running up. "Torch! Where have you been? Bad news! The mutants have escaped! Zanya ain't gonna like this!"

"Well then she's really going to be unhappy about this," Destro, the Baroness and the Twins appeared with their weapons drawn.

"Destro!" Cobra Commander shouted. "It's about time you found me!"

"Sorry about this guys," Torch shrugged as he released Cobra Commander from his cell.

"What kept you buffoons?" Cobra Commander snapped.

"You're welcome," The Baroness said sarcastically.

"I think it's time…" Xamot started.

"We depart this place," Tomax finished.

"I don't think so," Zanya appeared with Zarana, Zandar, Road Pig, and Buzzer with their weapons drawn.

"HA!" Monkeywrench grabbed his weapon and pointed it at the rescue party.

"Serves you right you traitor!" Ripper snarled as he pointed his weapon at Torch.

"Torch…" Zanya said in a strange voice. "Explain yourself."

There was only one thing Torch could do. He got down on his knees and begged.

"They threw gobs of money at me Zanya!" Torch wept. "I'm not made of stone! Mercy! Please don't kill me!"

"Who says I want to kill you Torch?" Zanya said sweetly. "Boys put down your weapons. Cobra Commander I must apologize for my father's rudeness. He's been under a lot of strain lately."

"What?" Ripper asked. "Zanya have you lost your mind?"

"Yeah Mystique ain't gonna be happy about this!" Monkeywrench told her.

"Do you really think I care what that cow thinks of me?" Zanya snapped. "Do as I say!"

"But what about your father?" Ripper asked.

"Well, I think my father needs to have some time off," Zanya said with a smile.

"That's right," Zandar grinned. "He needs to think about the error of his ways. If that's all right with Cobra Commander here."

"All right," Cobra Commander sighed. "How much do you want to let us go?"

"The usual fee that you give to my father," Zanya said. "Plus a few other…conditions."

"Listen you stuck up little brat," The Baroness hissed. "If you think for one minute we are gonna forget what…"

"Now, now my dear Baroness," Cobra Commander stopped her. "We must not blame this sweet child for the mistakes her elders have made. I'm sure we can come to an agreement of some sort?"

"I believe we shall Cobra Commander," Zanya grinned. "I believe we shall."