Okay, guys... this is my first Pitch Black fanfic, so your opinions on this piece would be great. I know that it's a little different from the film - for one, everyone is dead apart from Riddick and Jack - but that's how I wanted it so, nerrrr :P
Constructive criticism is welcome, aswell as any questions/comments you may have. But for now, enjoy :)
____
Try telling yourself, when you're staring death in the face, that you're not afraid. Try telling yourself, when your body is shaking and your nostrils are flaring with the smell of your own sweat, that you fear nothing. And try telling yourself, when your skin is covered in a faint sheen of your own blood, that you're not going to die.
Jack told herself all these things, and more. But despite the mindless declarations that hummed inside her head, her heart still thumped against her chest in a rhythm that spoke of death and worse. What could be worse than death, Jack had no idea.
Sneaking a quick glance towards Riddick, she couldn't help but notice that he seemed perfectly at peace. Even now, surrounded by a flock of winged, long-toothed beasts, his face smeared with his own blood and the water pounding down relentlessly, he looked the embodiment of calm. The torch he held - the only source of light that remained - swang gracefully through the air, casting forth a warning to the predators that lingered just outside of its range. He grasped Jack to him, held her tight against his chest in a protective gesture that was foreign to them both.
She knew, just as he did, that both of them weren't going to make it.
Shifting her head away from his chest, she peered out into the darkness that echoed with constant clicks and whistles. White teeth glowed mockingly back at her, but she didn't flinch, merely stared, mesmorised.
We're not going to make it.
The thought rang out, tearing at her until she was left with nothing but the stinging bite of fate. There was only one light, barely enough to protect them both from the predators that currently had them trapped. Cuts marred her pale flesh and blood trailed lazily across her skin, a betrayal in its self. Her head thudded with the harsh pounding of the rain and her body was close to giving in. She was a walking burden, and she knew it.
I can't let him die.
She felt the rise and fall of Riddick's chest against her back and she closed her eyes for a brief second.
He had saved her, on more than one occasion. As Carolyn had been torn from his own grasp, he had held on to Jack, her small hand encased tightly in his. He had pulled her aside, away from the snarling predator that had snapped its jaws mere inches from her face. He had covered her body with his as their worst nightmare had sailed gracefully through the canyon, taking a silent, grieving Imam with them. And from then on, he hadn't left her side.
She owed him more than just her thanks, she owed him her life.
An eye for an eye, she thought.
Blinking her eyes against the rain, she tilted her head up, eyes resting on his stone-like face. She nudged his chest with her elbow, drawing his attention to her before she drew a breath - a sign that she was going to speak.
"How far to the skiff?" she questioned, hoping her voice was higher than the roar of the rain.
"Not far, just past those rocks."
He cocked his head, flicking the light towards the direction he was indicating. She didn't bother to look, she knew it wouldn't take long to get there.
"I have an idea!" she shouted, pressing her body closer to his as a glimmer of white teeth flashed past her. He remained silent, a sign for her to continue.
"I can hold them off. Give you a chance to get back to the skiff." The torch swung sharply and the unexpected glow of the light made her blink rapidly. Eyes bore into her own, scrutinizing and probing. She kept her gaze steady, tilted her chin slightly in a proud gesture and dared him, silently, to argue.
"And what about you? How are you gonna manage to hold them off without getting yourself killed?" he mocked, aiming the torch back at their current problem. Her gaze never faltered and a slight hitch in her breathing was the only thing that gave her away.
She wasn't.
The answer lay, naked before them, met only with a short, sharp bark from Riddick.
"No."
She pressed on.
"Look, Riddick. We only have one light left, and I'm bleeding. There's no wa--"
"I said /no/."
She clenched her teeth angrily, her fists balled tightly at her sides. He drew his eyes up, back towards the creatures that were pacing... waiting.
"Fine. Then we'll both die," she retorted sharply, her eyes blazing, her body taut with rage.
"We're not going to die." His declaration shook her slightly, his certainty and confidence a painful slap in the face. She cast her eyes back out into the darkness, her gaze lingering on the grey forms fighting and screeching just outside the shine of the torch. Her lips drew back, set into a grim line and determination wiggled its way through her bones.
You're right, Riddick.
Without a second thought, she slammed her elbow into his chest with as much force as she could muster. He doubled, more out of shock than pain, but it was enough for him to release his tight grasp on her.
"Jack!"
His voice rang out, angry and harsh but Jack ignored it. Her eyes rested on his ghost-white face once last time before she flung herself backwards, away from the protection of the light, towards the screeching mass that waited. She fell on her back and pushed herself up onto her elbows, scrambling across the ground as she saw the torch flicker in her direction.
"Run, Riddick! Please!" she cried, pushing herself further away. She could hear the flapping of leathery wings and the high-pitched calls of the creatures behind her, but she didn't stop.
She felt, rather than saw, the sharp sting of teeth as they ripped into the flesh of her arm. A scream fled her body before she had chance to stop it and her vision swam, tinted with flashes of red and grey. The pounding of blood in her ears was the last thing she heard before darkness erupted violently around her.
Somewhere, beneath the pain, her mind whispered.
Goodbye, Riddick.
And then... nothing.
Constructive criticism is welcome, aswell as any questions/comments you may have. But for now, enjoy :)
____
Try telling yourself, when you're staring death in the face, that you're not afraid. Try telling yourself, when your body is shaking and your nostrils are flaring with the smell of your own sweat, that you fear nothing. And try telling yourself, when your skin is covered in a faint sheen of your own blood, that you're not going to die.
Jack told herself all these things, and more. But despite the mindless declarations that hummed inside her head, her heart still thumped against her chest in a rhythm that spoke of death and worse. What could be worse than death, Jack had no idea.
Sneaking a quick glance towards Riddick, she couldn't help but notice that he seemed perfectly at peace. Even now, surrounded by a flock of winged, long-toothed beasts, his face smeared with his own blood and the water pounding down relentlessly, he looked the embodiment of calm. The torch he held - the only source of light that remained - swang gracefully through the air, casting forth a warning to the predators that lingered just outside of its range. He grasped Jack to him, held her tight against his chest in a protective gesture that was foreign to them both.
She knew, just as he did, that both of them weren't going to make it.
Shifting her head away from his chest, she peered out into the darkness that echoed with constant clicks and whistles. White teeth glowed mockingly back at her, but she didn't flinch, merely stared, mesmorised.
We're not going to make it.
The thought rang out, tearing at her until she was left with nothing but the stinging bite of fate. There was only one light, barely enough to protect them both from the predators that currently had them trapped. Cuts marred her pale flesh and blood trailed lazily across her skin, a betrayal in its self. Her head thudded with the harsh pounding of the rain and her body was close to giving in. She was a walking burden, and she knew it.
I can't let him die.
She felt the rise and fall of Riddick's chest against her back and she closed her eyes for a brief second.
He had saved her, on more than one occasion. As Carolyn had been torn from his own grasp, he had held on to Jack, her small hand encased tightly in his. He had pulled her aside, away from the snarling predator that had snapped its jaws mere inches from her face. He had covered her body with his as their worst nightmare had sailed gracefully through the canyon, taking a silent, grieving Imam with them. And from then on, he hadn't left her side.
She owed him more than just her thanks, she owed him her life.
An eye for an eye, she thought.
Blinking her eyes against the rain, she tilted her head up, eyes resting on his stone-like face. She nudged his chest with her elbow, drawing his attention to her before she drew a breath - a sign that she was going to speak.
"How far to the skiff?" she questioned, hoping her voice was higher than the roar of the rain.
"Not far, just past those rocks."
He cocked his head, flicking the light towards the direction he was indicating. She didn't bother to look, she knew it wouldn't take long to get there.
"I have an idea!" she shouted, pressing her body closer to his as a glimmer of white teeth flashed past her. He remained silent, a sign for her to continue.
"I can hold them off. Give you a chance to get back to the skiff." The torch swung sharply and the unexpected glow of the light made her blink rapidly. Eyes bore into her own, scrutinizing and probing. She kept her gaze steady, tilted her chin slightly in a proud gesture and dared him, silently, to argue.
"And what about you? How are you gonna manage to hold them off without getting yourself killed?" he mocked, aiming the torch back at their current problem. Her gaze never faltered and a slight hitch in her breathing was the only thing that gave her away.
She wasn't.
The answer lay, naked before them, met only with a short, sharp bark from Riddick.
"No."
She pressed on.
"Look, Riddick. We only have one light left, and I'm bleeding. There's no wa--"
"I said /no/."
She clenched her teeth angrily, her fists balled tightly at her sides. He drew his eyes up, back towards the creatures that were pacing... waiting.
"Fine. Then we'll both die," she retorted sharply, her eyes blazing, her body taut with rage.
"We're not going to die." His declaration shook her slightly, his certainty and confidence a painful slap in the face. She cast her eyes back out into the darkness, her gaze lingering on the grey forms fighting and screeching just outside the shine of the torch. Her lips drew back, set into a grim line and determination wiggled its way through her bones.
You're right, Riddick.
Without a second thought, she slammed her elbow into his chest with as much force as she could muster. He doubled, more out of shock than pain, but it was enough for him to release his tight grasp on her.
"Jack!"
His voice rang out, angry and harsh but Jack ignored it. Her eyes rested on his ghost-white face once last time before she flung herself backwards, away from the protection of the light, towards the screeching mass that waited. She fell on her back and pushed herself up onto her elbows, scrambling across the ground as she saw the torch flicker in her direction.
"Run, Riddick! Please!" she cried, pushing herself further away. She could hear the flapping of leathery wings and the high-pitched calls of the creatures behind her, but she didn't stop.
She felt, rather than saw, the sharp sting of teeth as they ripped into the flesh of her arm. A scream fled her body before she had chance to stop it and her vision swam, tinted with flashes of red and grey. The pounding of blood in her ears was the last thing she heard before darkness erupted violently around her.
Somewhere, beneath the pain, her mind whispered.
Goodbye, Riddick.
And then... nothing.