*collapses and points to story.* No mind left for funny comments. Read and enjoy.. um.. Merry.. Groundhog's day?


Later that night, Serena was sneaking down the stairs to steal some ice cream. She hadn't gotten any during the party and her stomach was grumbling in need. The party had ended only an hour and a half earlier and it was now midnight. The embers of the fire still clung to their warmth, glowing a gentle red. As she passed the living room movement caught her eye. What on earth? Her eyes narrowed. A thief? To steal the Christmas presents? Or perhaps the silver...

"Oh no... not in this house..." she growled. And with that, the dreams of chocolate ice-cream vanishing, she stormed into the living room, her pink bunny slippers padding softly on the wooden floors. As she walked by a table she grabbed an innocent present. She wasn't sure what she'd do with the box… throw it maybe? A noise behind her caused her to spin around, holding the present tightly in her fist, ready to hurl it at a moment's notice.

"Who's there?" She demanded, "You better show yourself or leave peacefully... Or else you're gonna get it!" She threatened, the trembling in her voice giving away her fear. 'Great Serena... Don't let them think you're scared to death or anything.' she thought sarcastically. Another noise and she twirled, feeling a shiver run down her spine despite the warm flannel blue pajamas with the white sheep dancing on them. The sound of little feet pitter pattering encircled her. She spun trying to find the source. Mice? She swore there was something worse than mice in the room. Serena tried to swallow a scream.

A cracking of branches caused her to spin again only to trip and fall to the ground in surprise. The Christmas tree was growing larger! Eyes widening she looked around... Everything was growing larger! Cancel that… she was shrinking! The candles on the Christmas tree burst to life and amid the chaos she picked up the sound of low muttering. There! By the grandfather clock! She leapt to her feet, whipped around. Uncle Drosselmier? What was he doing? What the hell was going on here?! He was perched by the clock, (now both looking to be 50 ft tall) mumbling some sort of spell under his breath, and he was staring straight at her. She was about to have a holy tantrum, kicking of feet, flinging of hair, pounding of fists included when the largest rat she had ever seen bounded into view... Followed by several others, some larger than the first.

Christmas presents ripped open on their own, and toy soldiers marched out. The rat... laughed? A shot rang out and the rat was done, the others ran towards her at a much faster pace.

"Oh my god I'm going to be eaten by a rodent.. And I didn't even get my ice cream!!!" Serena shrieked. The nutcracker she had received sprung to life before her eyes and went to the front of the legion of soldiers. He was followed by three generals.

They were marching towards her from one end of the 'room' that had managed to disappear without her noticing (besides the Christmas tree… that provided the only light) the rats were scampering towards her from another and two words came to mind.

"Oooooohhhh shit..." Luckily, the nutcracker got to her first.

"Move girl, this is a war. It's not appropriate for the likes of you." He sniffed disdainfully.

"You're a puny little nutcracker, who the hell are you to be bossing me around?" she spat. He started in surprise before walking up to her. She had to crane her neck to stare into his beady wooden eyes.

"Puny? Who's the puny one here girl..." He scoffed, amused by the blond creature in the odd clothing. She stood her ground.

"It just so happens you jerk, that my uncle cast some sort of magical spell on me so I shrunk. Otherwise, if I were in my normal state you'd be no bigger than my doll." She ground out.

"Yeah, that's a likely story," the nutcracker responded, rolling it's eyes, "you're obviously out of your mind and could pose a threat to me. This nonsense about magic and such." Her eyes narrowed. That was it.

"You're a piece of wood who happens to be talking you moron! Who are you to go and say magic is nonsense you hypocrite!?" She shrieked.

"Sire the rats are battling through our defenses." A general shouted. The nutcracker gave the general a curt nod before glaring at the stubborn girl in front of him, opening his mouth ready to spout out another retort only to be interrupted yet again.

"Sire! The rat king!!" One of the soldiers screamed, his voice cracking. Serena turned to see the ugliest, largest, hairiest rat ever. She bit back a scream as the hairy drooling beast shoved past ranks of soldiers as easily as an elephant crushing a field of daisies. She scrunched up her nose as a putrid smell hit her nostrils. The nutcracker sighed in annoyance before shoving the girl out of the way.

"Out of the way wench. Of course a female would stiffen up at a time like this." He muttered, yanking out his sword. Serena's eyes narrowed after she caught herself from falling. Wench? Her hands clenched into fists. That... That... JERK!! The present in her fist crinkled reminding her it was there. She smiled as an idea came to mind.

"Wench am I?" she murmured before closing her eye, pressing her tongue between her teeth and taking aim. She fired and watched it sail in a perfect arc towards… damn it! She overshot. It was going to hit the rat! She cursed under her breath before she noticed that the present seemed to be growing bigger and bigger. What on earth? An idea came to mind and she took off a slipper only to shove it back on her foot as it started to grow. Anything touching her had shrunk? So if it was no longer in contact with her it grew to normal size! The present was now huge and managed to land with a good thud to squash the rat king under it. The nutcracker immediately stabbed the rat repeatedly to make sure the thing was dead.

He turned to stare at the girl in amazement before a bright glow surrounded his body. She watched, surprised, as the nutcracker's wooden skin melted into warm flesh and blood, his raven black hair fell down into the eyes which had transformed into a stunning deep blue. She swallowed nervously, he was gorgeous! The transformed nutcracker stalked over to her and she stepped back in defense.

"You killed him." He stated, eyeing her. Serena blushed and to hide it she huffed and said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Pity it was your head I was aiming for." she muttered, to which the guy burst out laughing.

"Good thing you have horrid aim then!" Was his retort before his face transformed into the utmost of seriousness. "I am Prince Endymion of Elision and I am in your debt for saving my life."

"Uh huh... Right... And I'm Queen of the fairies."

"Actually that would be Minako who is Queen..." He responded. She rolled her eyes. Whatever.

"Look, you're a nutcracker, People take nuts and crack them in your teeth. Drosselmieir gave you to me as a present. I'm hallucinating and none of this has happened." The prince laughed against before grabbing the girl around her waist, and slinging her over his shoulder like a sac.

"Let go of me you creep!" She yelled in protest. He motioned to the silver haired general.

"Kunzite. I'll take the lady to the palace of the snowflakes. Meet us there." Serena pounded her fists against his back.

"Oooh put me down! Now! You jerk! Are you listening to me?! Put! Me! Down!" Endymion merely threw her into a... sleigh? What the heck was a sleigh doing in her living room!? She looked around and blanched. Since when was her living room a forest covered in snow? There was a soft chuckle beside her and she glared.

"Kidnapping is illegal in all 50 states you know." She muttered in annoyance.

"States?" He asked curiously.

"Nevermind. But don't think I won't find a way to get home." She threatened.

"Mi'lady...we are currently in the middle of a forest that spans for miles upon miles. The only ounce of civilization here is the palace to which we are headed. It would not be wise to leave the warm sleigh to jump into the freezing snow."

"Oh yeah?" She growled, "Just watch me!" She leapt up before being yanked down and pulled against a warm body.

"Are you mad? You'd be killed!" He hissed against her ear. She struggled against him, kicking blankets around in a fury as the sleigh continued on it's journey. He held her even tighter with each new struggle. "Stop squirming." He ordered.

"Let go!" She cried out in annoyance.

"Not until you stop moving." He retorted. Serena sighed before she stilled and he released her slowly. She caught her breath at the chill she received after his arms left her, but decided to ignore it. No way did she miss the feelings of his arms! He was a creep! Yes... A creep who had the bluest eyes she had ever seen and the most disarming smile that that turned her insides to mush-NO! Damn it she didn't like that jerk and that's THAT! She folded her arms over her chest and pouted.

Endymion turned his head to eye the girl curiously. Finally taking the time to really look at her. At first meeting, he was that blasted nutcracker and was paying more attention to the battle. He hadn't the time to look at her face when she was thrashing about. Her hair was tousled and knotted up, her eyes were a sweet baby blue though lit with anger. And her jaw was sticking out in pure stubbornness while her lower lip was jutted out in a pout. It was adorable to say the least.

"You might at least tell me where the hell we're going." She grumbled.

"We are going to the snow King and Queen's palace." He responded. She tried to hide a snort of disbelief. Hell, if in this hallucination she could shrink, and a nutcracker could turn into a cocky but handsome prince, then it could be logical for them to visit the king and queen of snow. She'd just have to wait and see.