A Teddy Bears Picnic
22 years ago my life just started going good, well I was wrong. One day I was out buying some flowers and chocolates for my wife Carol, not suspecting what might be happening at home. I come home and I find her in a pool of stuffing on the bedroom floor. She's been Killed!!!
I dropped the flowers and went and touched her tummy. "Stop that tickles" Her battery just ran out.
I then fell asleep with my arms around her.
Several minutes later
I woke up and said to myself were am I, I looked around and saw a badly decorated room with a dirty bed, toilet and bars.
IM IN JAIL!
How did I get in here I whispered to my self, "don't play dumb Ted we found the gun in the flowers" said a cop standing outside of the cell. WHAT I've been set up I don't believe it I've been set up That darn florist must of put a gun in my flowers, or maybe the person that did murder Carol was still in the house at the time I dropped the flowers. The next day I had a court case, I told them the story but I still got life sentenced
1996 - Its been 14 years in jail and It looks like it will be my home. did I mention I'm writing a book "A Teddy bears picnic" it's about what I did, what I wish I did and what I could have done.
1999 - I am lying in my bed, half asleep flicking threw the pages of my book I just finished. And then a security guard at the bars comes up and says "You have a visitor" the visitor stepped up to the bars and says to me "my name is Humphrey I can help you get out of here. So Humphrey had an idea, and it was to write a song Humphrey couldn't sing so the song was performed by The Offspring it got to the no. 1 hit, and federal court and government, looked into the song and I was set free.
When I got out it was a bit of a shock. It looks like people don't forget. And the people were furious some people threw tomatoes and sewing needles others just called me a murderer. I just had to look forward and start my life again. But one thought is still left in my mind There was someone out their someone cruel, someone for some reason wanted to sabotage me and my wife. And questions must be asked who, why and where the bloomin fair dinkum are they hiding.
I went to the Bentley hotel to find a place to stay for awhile, because of the house I was in the one I built with my BEAR hands was torn down. I started thinking about stuff, and my mind was thinking about football, the sport I grew up with as a kid. And just then I had a great idea, I am a bit old at 28 but, my dad always said the best man should play. So I turned up at pre season training for he Melbourne demons. The team didn't except me. It seems like no one wants anything to do with me. I just had to do the only thing I could do and prove I'm innocent, by getting the true murderer. And when I find him ill make sure he pays. My first idea was to retrace my steps. So I thought back to the day and remembered dropping the flowers and looking at the curtains. I remembered them looking a bit round, but I was to depressed to think beyond that. I know now when I fell asleep the real murderer must have cleverly planted the gun in the flowers and escaped.
"The black berry curtain gang"
The best curtain shop around it sells all sorts of second hand curtains, maybe my old curtains that the murderer was hiding behind will be their, and maybe his prints or odour will be on that curtain. So I went to the store and looked around for ages for a green and blue dotted curtain, when thankfully, the assistant came up and asked me if I needed help. I replied and described the curtain I'm looking for. And she answered back "oh that one sure ill just go out the back and get it. She brings it out in a bag and charges me $100 for it (I knew she was trying to make me look stupid because I brought this curtain new and it only costs $25) although I really needed this curtain so I didn't argue. I took the curtain to place called Crazy Bobs, Bobs a guy that checks finger printing and stuff I've never met him and he said he has never heard about me. I asked him what's on this curtain and he went and had a look after a few minutes he comes back with the results and he says "ah yeh it looks like some guys been standing behind it?" Perfect I said, I took the curtain and dashed outside.. But when I got outside....
Their was a black car and bears in purple bandanas. "it's the Chop suey gang"(not another shop) I stuttered. I bet their the gang that killed my wife. They started walking over to me, I ran back in the shop and out the back, over a few fences and, threw some passage ways. Then luck was ahead I saw Caramello koala on his bike I ran up and pushed him of it. I got on, and peddled as fast as I could, they were catching me in their brilliant BMW. I stopped and ran into a building. I ran all the way to the top to the helicopter pad. I was standing on the building with the gang slowly arriving. The Chop suey Gang were making my adrenalin rush. They were approaching me. I was walking back but they kept getting closer about 10 steps now, when suddenly, a police helicopter fly's up from the building its that Bob guy from Crazy bobs.
"Surrender Chop suey gang your under arrest"
They confirmed that it was a member of the chop suey gang and the whole gang got life sentenced.
Bob still reckons he didn't no what was goin on. Me and him are best friends now Pretty much everyone's friends with me now. I even got my money back from that Lady at blackberry curtains
I've started a new life down at Guttamutta. I did follow my dreams of becoming a footballer I'm the brownlow medallist down at Melbourne.
I still sit in my chair today telling people my story whilst having my own teddy bear picnic, I reckon Life's what you make it and I got the right one for me out of the basket.
22 years ago my life just started going good, well I was wrong. One day I was out buying some flowers and chocolates for my wife Carol, not suspecting what might be happening at home. I come home and I find her in a pool of stuffing on the bedroom floor. She's been Killed!!!
I dropped the flowers and went and touched her tummy. "Stop that tickles" Her battery just ran out.
I then fell asleep with my arms around her.
Several minutes later
I woke up and said to myself were am I, I looked around and saw a badly decorated room with a dirty bed, toilet and bars.
IM IN JAIL!
How did I get in here I whispered to my self, "don't play dumb Ted we found the gun in the flowers" said a cop standing outside of the cell. WHAT I've been set up I don't believe it I've been set up That darn florist must of put a gun in my flowers, or maybe the person that did murder Carol was still in the house at the time I dropped the flowers. The next day I had a court case, I told them the story but I still got life sentenced
1996 - Its been 14 years in jail and It looks like it will be my home. did I mention I'm writing a book "A Teddy bears picnic" it's about what I did, what I wish I did and what I could have done.
1999 - I am lying in my bed, half asleep flicking threw the pages of my book I just finished. And then a security guard at the bars comes up and says "You have a visitor" the visitor stepped up to the bars and says to me "my name is Humphrey I can help you get out of here. So Humphrey had an idea, and it was to write a song Humphrey couldn't sing so the song was performed by The Offspring it got to the no. 1 hit, and federal court and government, looked into the song and I was set free.
When I got out it was a bit of a shock. It looks like people don't forget. And the people were furious some people threw tomatoes and sewing needles others just called me a murderer. I just had to look forward and start my life again. But one thought is still left in my mind There was someone out their someone cruel, someone for some reason wanted to sabotage me and my wife. And questions must be asked who, why and where the bloomin fair dinkum are they hiding.
I went to the Bentley hotel to find a place to stay for awhile, because of the house I was in the one I built with my BEAR hands was torn down. I started thinking about stuff, and my mind was thinking about football, the sport I grew up with as a kid. And just then I had a great idea, I am a bit old at 28 but, my dad always said the best man should play. So I turned up at pre season training for he Melbourne demons. The team didn't except me. It seems like no one wants anything to do with me. I just had to do the only thing I could do and prove I'm innocent, by getting the true murderer. And when I find him ill make sure he pays. My first idea was to retrace my steps. So I thought back to the day and remembered dropping the flowers and looking at the curtains. I remembered them looking a bit round, but I was to depressed to think beyond that. I know now when I fell asleep the real murderer must have cleverly planted the gun in the flowers and escaped.
"The black berry curtain gang"
The best curtain shop around it sells all sorts of second hand curtains, maybe my old curtains that the murderer was hiding behind will be their, and maybe his prints or odour will be on that curtain. So I went to the store and looked around for ages for a green and blue dotted curtain, when thankfully, the assistant came up and asked me if I needed help. I replied and described the curtain I'm looking for. And she answered back "oh that one sure ill just go out the back and get it. She brings it out in a bag and charges me $100 for it (I knew she was trying to make me look stupid because I brought this curtain new and it only costs $25) although I really needed this curtain so I didn't argue. I took the curtain to place called Crazy Bobs, Bobs a guy that checks finger printing and stuff I've never met him and he said he has never heard about me. I asked him what's on this curtain and he went and had a look after a few minutes he comes back with the results and he says "ah yeh it looks like some guys been standing behind it?" Perfect I said, I took the curtain and dashed outside.. But when I got outside....
Their was a black car and bears in purple bandanas. "it's the Chop suey gang"(not another shop) I stuttered. I bet their the gang that killed my wife. They started walking over to me, I ran back in the shop and out the back, over a few fences and, threw some passage ways. Then luck was ahead I saw Caramello koala on his bike I ran up and pushed him of it. I got on, and peddled as fast as I could, they were catching me in their brilliant BMW. I stopped and ran into a building. I ran all the way to the top to the helicopter pad. I was standing on the building with the gang slowly arriving. The Chop suey Gang were making my adrenalin rush. They were approaching me. I was walking back but they kept getting closer about 10 steps now, when suddenly, a police helicopter fly's up from the building its that Bob guy from Crazy bobs.
"Surrender Chop suey gang your under arrest"
They confirmed that it was a member of the chop suey gang and the whole gang got life sentenced.
Bob still reckons he didn't no what was goin on. Me and him are best friends now Pretty much everyone's friends with me now. I even got my money back from that Lady at blackberry curtains
I've started a new life down at Guttamutta. I did follow my dreams of becoming a footballer I'm the brownlow medallist down at Melbourne.
I still sit in my chair today telling people my story whilst having my own teddy bear picnic, I reckon Life's what you make it and I got the right one for me out of the basket.