The Grime Reapear rolled out of Sauron's bed with a small wumph. He looked up from the ground at the tall metal spikes protruding from the headboard. The bed was tall. It was so tall that the Grime Repear didn't know if there were enough bottles of Tilex in the world to clean the whole thing to a sparkling shine-this must have been why the metal spikes were rather black. If there were enough Tilex, Sauron would have cleaned them, right?
He stood up and looked down at Sauron who was still sleeping, curled up amid the black satin sheets. The Grime Reapear gave Sauron a push and he came sliding out of bed with ease-these sheets were very slippery.
"LYSOL!" Sauron screamed, looking around with wide eyes.
The Grime Reapear blanched and paused, not knowing what to say, "Lysol?" he asked Sauron, softly.
Sauron blushed, which is to say, the dark skin of his cheekbones turned even darker, almost matching the black-hole quality of his eyes, except without the sucking. "I mean, Tilex, of course… I was just... having a nightmare."
The Grime Reapear shook his head and pointed up on the spikes above the bed, "You washed those with Lysol, didn't you? That's why they're not sparkling!"
Sauron started crying, "Ok! Ok! I did! But it's not my fault! The Witch King of Angmar used all the Tilex on his bath tub!"
The Grime Reapear shook his head, "I'm sorry, but I can't be near someone who uses Lysol. That's disgusting." He grabbed his black cloak and walked out.
The Grime Reapear found himself at home a few hours later, wandering around aimlessly, mumbling "Lysol" under his breath. He held his bottle of Tilex in his hand, and was staring down at it warmly, "Tilex, my old friend, I'm sorry that I have betrayed you." He shook his head and raised his arm, making a fist to shake in Sauron's general direction, but in doing so he sprayed a large shot of Tilex into the air, which landed back down on him. Soon, his black cloak had little white dots on it. "AH! Tilex with bleach! How powerful you are, and yet how dangerous!"
The Grime Reapear rose slowly and changed into his tattered brown cloak. He looked something like a Jawa, and he completed the look by putting on his glowing-orange glasses that had come with the cloak. "What an odd ensemble," The Grime Reapear mused, "And yet somehow, I like it."
He turned to look at himself in the mirror, and he gasped, "By Tilex, I'm sexy!" He did a little prance in a circle and walked into his kitchen as being so sexy was draining, and he felt rather hungry now. He opened his refrigerator and found a platter with a stack of cupcakes on it with a note. The Grime Reapear pulled the platter out of the refrigerator and set it on his glistening white counter. He read the note:
Dear Reapy,
I thought you could use some nice cupcakes. They're almost as sweet as you! Why don't you drop by some time? I'm lonely and there's nothing to do with Galadriel on my back all day.
Hugs, Kisses & Cupcakes,
Haldir
The Grime Reapear chuckled and began devouring the cupcakes. While doing so, he began to plot his next move. He could go visit Haldir, but he always wore pink, which would obviously clash with his new tattered-brown-and-orange look. No, he couldn't visit Haldir, and he didn't want to go to Mordor where they used Lysol. That left one choice in the Grime Reapear's mind. He would go visit Saruman.